The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Book of Nonsense, by Edward Lear

This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at https://www.gutenberg.org/license. If you are not located in the United States, you’ll have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: A Book of Nonsense

Author: Edward Lear

Release Date: October 8, 2004 [EBook #13646]

Language: English

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ***

E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney,

and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders

A Book of Nonsense

by Edward Lear.

With All the Original Pictures and Verses.

There was an Old Derry down Derry, who loved to see little folks merry;

So he made them a Book, and with laughter they shook

At the fun of that Derry down Derry.

1894.

Originally published 1846.

1894 Cover

Click for larger version.

- Original Dedication

- Nonsense Pictures and Rhymes

NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112

There was an Old Man with a nose,

Who said, "If you choose to suppose

That my nose is too long, you are certainly wrong!"

That remarkable Man with a nose.

There was a Young Person of Smyrna,

Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;

But she seized on the Cat, and said, "Granny, burn that!

You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!"

There was an Old Man on a hill,

Who seldom, if ever, stood still;

He ran up and down in his Grandmother's gown,

Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.

There was an Old Person of Chili,

Whose conduct was painful and silly;

He sate on the stairs, eating apples and pears,

That imprudent Old Person of Chili.

There was an Old Man with a gong,

Who bumped at it all the day long;

But they called out, "Oh, law! you're a horrid old bore!"

So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.

There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,

Who never had more than a penny;

He spent all that money in onions and honey,

That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.

There was an Old Man of Columbia,

Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;

But they brought it quite hot, in a small copper pot,

Which disgusted that man of Columbia.

There was an Old Man in a tree,

Who was horribly bored by a Bee;

When they said, "Does it buzz?" he replied, "Yes, it does!

It's a regular brute of a Bee."

There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,

Who made a remarkable curtsey;

She twirled round and round, till she sank underground,

Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.

There was a Young Lady whose chin

Resembled the point of a pin;

So she had it made sharp, and purchased a harp,

And played several tunes with her chin.

There was an Old Man with a flute,—

A "sarpint" ran into his boot!

But he played day and night, till the "sarpint" took flight,

And avoided that Man with a flute.

There was a Young Lady of Portugal,

Whose ideas were excessively nautical;

She climbed up a tree to examine the sea,

But declared she would never leave Portugal.

There was an Old Person of Ischia,

Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;

He danced hornpipes and jigs, and ate thousands of figs,

That lively Old Person of Ischia

There was an Old Man of Vienna,

Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;

When that did not agree, he took Camomile Tea,

That nasty Old Man of Vienna.

There was an Old Man in a boat,

Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"

When they said, "No, you ain't!" he was ready to faint,

That unhappy Old Man in a boat.

There was an Old Person of Buda,

Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,

Till at last with a hammer they silenced his clamor.

By smashing that Person of Buda.

There was an Old Man of Moldavia,

Who had the most curious behavior;

For while he was able, he slept on a table,

That funny Old Man of Moldavia.

There was an Old Person of Hurst,

Who drank when he was not athirst;

When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?"

That globular Person of Hurst.

There was an Old Man of Madras,

Who rode on a cream-colored Ass;

But the length of its ears so promoted his fears,

That it killed that Old Man of Madras.

There was an Old Person of Dover,

Who rushed through a field of blue clover;

But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees,

So he very soon went back to Dover.

There was an Old Person of Leeds,

Whose head was infested with beads;

She sat on a stool and ate gooseberry-fool,

Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.

There was an Old Person of Cadiz,

Who was always polite to all ladies;

But in handing his daughter, he fell into the water,

Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.

There was an Old Man of the Isles,

Whose face was pervaded with smiles;

He sang "High dum diddle," and played on the fiddle,

That amiable Man of the Isles.

There was an Old Person of Basing,

Whose presence of mind was amazing;

He purchased a steed, which he rode at full speed,

And escaped from the people of Basing.

There was an Old Man who supposed

That the street door was partially closed;

But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats,

While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.

There was an Old Person whose habits

Induced him to feed upon Rabbits;

When he'd eaten eighteen, he turned perfectly green,

Upon which he relinquished those habits.

There was an Old Man of the West,

Who wore a pale plum-colored vest;

When they said, "Does it fit?" he replied, "Not a bit!"

That uneasy Old Man of the West.

There was an Old Man of Marseilles,

Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils:

They caught several Fish, which they put in a dish,

And sent to their Pa at Marseilles.

There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,

Whose shoes made a horrible creaking;

But they said, "Tell us whether your shoes are of leather,

Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?"

There was a Young Lady whose nose

Was so long that it reached to her toes;

So she hired an Old Lady, whose conduct was steady,

To carry that wonderful nose.

There was a Young Lady of Norway,

Who casually sat in a doorway;

When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed, "What of that?"

This courageous Young Lady of Norway.

There was an Old Man of Apulia,

Whose conduct was very peculiar;

He fed twenty sons upon nothing but buns,

That whimsical Man of Apulia.

There was an Old Man of Quebec,—

A beetle ran over his neck;

But he cried, "With a needle I'll slay you, O beadle!"

That angry Old Man of Quebec.

There was a Young Lady of Bute,

Who played on a silver-gilt flute;

She played several jigs to her Uncle's white Pigs:

That amusing Young Lady of Bute.

There was an Old Person of Philœ,

Whose conduct was scroobious and wily;

He rushed up a Palm when the weather was calm,

And observed all the ruins of Philœ.

There was an Old Man with a poker,

Who painted his face with red ochre.

When they said, "You 're a Guy!" he made no reply,

But knocked them all down with his poker.

There was an Old Person of Prague,

Who was suddenly seized with the plague;

But they gave him some butter, which caused him to mutter,

And cured that Old Person of Prague.

There was an Old Man of Peru,

Who watched his wife making a stew;

But once, by mistake, in a stove she did bake

That unfortunate Man of Peru.

There was an Old Man of the North,

Who fell into a basin of broth;

But a laudable cook fished him out with a hook,

Which saved that Old Man of the North.

There was an Old Person of Troy,

Whose drink was warm brandy and soy,

Which he took with a spoon, by the light of the moon,

In sight of the city of Troy.

There was an Old Person of Mold,

Who shrank from sensations of cold;

So he purchased some muffs, some furs, and some fluffs,

And wrapped himself well from the cold.

There was an Old Person of Tring,

Who embellished his nose with a ring;

He gazed at the moon every evening in June,

That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.

There was an Old Man of Nepaul,

From his horse had a terrible fall;

But, though split quite in two, with some very strong glue

They mended that man of Nepaul.

There was an Old Man of the Nile,

Who sharpened his nails with a file,

Till he cut off his thumbs, and said calmly, "This comes

Of sharpening one's nails with a file!"

There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,

So blind that he couldn't his foot see;

When they said, "That's your toe," he replied, "Is it so?"

That doubtful Old Man of th' Abruzzi.

There was an Old Man of Calcutta,

Who perpetually ate bread and butter;

Till a great bit of muffin, on which he was stuffing,

Choked that horrid Old Man of Calcutta.

There was an Old Person of Rhodes,

Who strongly objected to toads;

He paid several cousins to catch them by dozens,

That futile Old Person of Rhodes.

There was an Old Man of the South,

Who had an immoderate mouth;

But in swallowing a dish that was quite full of Fish,

He was choked, that Old Man of the South.

There was an Old Man of Melrose,

Who walked on the tips of his toes;

But they said, "It ain't pleasant to see you at present,

You stupid Old Man of Melrose."

There was an Old Man of the Dee,

Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;

When he said, "I will scratch it!" they gave him a hatchet,

Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.

There was a Young Lady of Lucca,

Whose lovers completely forsook her;

She ran up a tree, and said "Fiddle-de-dee!"

Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.

There was an Old Man of Coblenz,

The length of whose legs was immense;

He went with one prance from Turkey to France,

That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.

There was an Old Man of Bohemia,

Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;

But one day, to his grief, she married a thief,

Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.

There was an Old Man of Corfu,

Who never knew what he should do;

So he rushed up and down, till the sun made him brown,

That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.

There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,

Who studied the works of Vitruvius;

When the flames burnt his book, to drinking he took,

That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.

There was an Old Man of Dundee,

Who frequented the top of a tree;

When disturbed by the Crows, he abruptly arose,

And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee!"

There was an Old Lady whose folly

Induced her to sit in a holly;

Whereon, by a thorn her dress being torn,

She quickly became melancholy.

There was an Old Man on some rocks,

Who shut his Wife up in a box:

When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt

You will pass all your life in that box."

There was an Old Person of Rheims,

Who was troubled with horrible dreams;

So to keep him awake they fed him with cake,

Which amused that Old Person of Rheims.

There was an Old Man of Leghorn,

The smallest that ever was born;

But quickly snapt up he was once by a Puppy,

Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.

There was an Old Man in a pew,

Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;

But he tore it in pieces, to give to his Nieces,

That cheerful Old Man in a pew.

There was an Old Man of Jamaica,

Who suddenly married a Quaker;

But she cried out, "Oh, lack! I have married a black!"

Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.

There was an Old Man who said, "How

Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?

I will sit on this stile, and continue to smile,

Which may soften the heart of that Cow."

There was a Young Lady of Troy,

Whom several large flies did annoy;

Some she killed with a thump, some she drowned at the pump,

And some she took with her to Troy.

There was a Young Lady of Hull,

Who was chased by a virulent Bull;

But she seized on a spade, and called out, "Who's afraid?"

Which distracted that virulent Bull.

There was an Old Person of Dutton,

Whose head was as small as a button;

So to make it look big he purchased a wig,

And rapidly rushed about Dutton.

There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!

I perceive a young bird in this bush!"

When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all;

It is four times as big as the bush!"

There was a Young Lady of Russia,

Who screamed so that no one could hush her;

Her screams were extreme,—no one heard such a scream

As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.

There was a Young Lady of Tyre,

Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;

At the sound of each sweep she enraptured the deep,

And enchanted the city of Tyre.

There was an Old Person of Bangor,

Whose face was distorted with anger;

He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots,

That borascible Person of Bangor.

There was an Old Man of the East,

Who gave all his children a feast;

But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such,

That it killed that Old Man of the East.

There was an Old Man of the Coast,

Who placidly sat on a post;

But when it was cold he relinquished his hold,

And called for some hot buttered toast.

There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,

Who possessed a remarkably fat Cur;

His gait and his waddle were held as a model

To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.

There was an Old Person of Gretna,

Who rushed down the crater of Etna;

When they said, "Is it hot?" he replied, "No, it's not!"

That mendacious Old Person of Gretna.

There was an Old Man with a beard,

Who sat on a Horse when he reared;

But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind,

You propitious Old Man with a beard!"

There was an Old Man of Berlin,

Whose form was uncommonly thin;

Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake,

So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.

There was an Old Man of the West,

Who never could get any rest;

So they set him to spin on his nose and his chin,

Which cured that Old Man of the West.

There was an Old Person of Cheadle

Was put in the stocks by the Beadle

For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs,

That horrible person of Cheadle.

There was an Old Person of Anerley,

Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;

He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand,

But returned in the evening to Anerley.

There was a Young Lady of Wales,

Who caught a large Fish without scales;

When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look!"

That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.

There was a Young Lady of Welling,

Whose praise all the world was a-telling;

She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,

That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.

There was an Old Person of Tartary,

Who divided his jugular artery;

But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life!

Your death will be felt by all Tartary!"

There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,

Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;

But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!"

So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.

There was a Young Lady of Sweden,

Who went by the slow train to Weedon;

When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no observation,

But thought she should go back to Sweden.

There was an Old Person of Chester,

Whom several small children did pester;

They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,

And displeased that Old Person of Chester.

There was an Old Man of the Cape,

Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;

Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight,

Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.

There was an Old Person of Burton,

Whose answers were rather uncertain;

When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are you?"

That distressing Old Person of Burton.

There was an Old Person of Ems

Who casually fell in the Thames;

And when he was found, they said he was drowned,

That unlucky Old Person of Ems.

There was a Young Girl of Majorca,

Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;

She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,

Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.

There was a Young Lady of Poole,

Whose soup was excessively cool;

So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,

That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.

There was an Old Lady of Prague,

Whose language was horribly vague;

When they said, "Are these caps?" she answered, "Perhaps!"

That oracular Lady of Prague.

There was a Young Lady of Parma,

Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:

When they said, "Are you dumb?" she merely said, "Hum!"

That provoking Young Lady of Parma.

There was an Old Person of Sparta,

Who had twenty-five sons and one "darter;"

He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,

That wonderful Person of Sparta.

There was an Old Man on whose nose

Most birds of the air could repose;

But they all flew away at the closing of day,

Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.

There was a Young Lady of Turkey,

Who wept when the weather was murky;

When the day turned out fine, she ceased to repine,

That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.

There was an Old Man of Aôsta

Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;

But they said, "Don't you see she has run up a tree,

You invidious Old Man of Aôsta?"

There was a Young Person of Crete,

Whose toilette was far from complete;

She dressed in a sack spickle-speckled with black,

That ombliferous Person of Crete.

There was a Young Lady of Clare,

Who was madly pursued by a Bear;

When she found she was tired, she abruptly expired,

That unfortunate Lady of Clare.

There was a Young Lady of Dorking,

Who bought a large bonnet for walking;

But its color and size so bedazzled her eyes,

That she very soon went back to Dorking.

There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,

Who wished he had never been born;

So he sat on a Chair till he died of despair,

That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.

There was an old Person of Cromer,

Who stood on one leg to read Homer;

When he found he grew stiff, he jumped over the cliff,

Which concluded that Person of Cromer.

There was an Old Man of the Hague,

Whose ideas were excessively vague;

He built a balloon to examine the moon,

That deluded Old Man of the Hague.

There was an Old Person of Spain,

Who hated all trouble and pain;

So he sate on a chair with his feet in the air,

That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.

There was an Old Man who said, "Well!

Will nobody answer this bell?

I have pulled day and night, till my hair has grown white,

But nobody answers this bell!"

There was an Old Man with an Owl,

Who continued to bother and howl;

He sat on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale,

Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.

There was an Old Man in a casement,

Who held up his hands in amazement;

When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" he replied, "Not at all!"

That incipient Old Man in a casement.

There was an Old Person of Ewell,

Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;

But to make it more nice, he inserted some Mice,

Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.

There was an Old Man of Peru.

Who never knew what he should do;

So he tore off his hair, and behaved like a bear,

That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.

There was an Old Man with a beard,

Who said, "It is just as I feared!—

Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,

Have all built their nests in my beard."

There was a Young Lady whose eyes

Were unique as to color and size;

When she opened them wide, people all turned aside,

And started away in surprise.

There was a Young Lady of Ryde,

Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;

She purchased some clogs, and some small spotty Dogs,

And frequently walked about Ryde.

There was a Young Lady whose bonnet

Came untied when the birds sate upon it;

But she said, "I don't care! all the birds in the air

Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"

*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ***

Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed.

Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.

START: FULL LICENSE

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg™ License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license.

Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™ electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg™ electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™ works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg™ name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™ License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States.

1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™ trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™ License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™ License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg™.

1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License.

1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg™ work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™ website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg™ License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works provided that:

• You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”

• You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works.

• You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work.

• You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.

1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.

1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any Defect you cause.

Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™

Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg™ collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.

Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.

The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact

Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate

Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.

Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org.

This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.

Table of Contents

The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Book of Nonsense, by Edward Lear

A Book of Nonsense

1894.

NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE