The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Merry Dialogue Declaringe the Properties of Shrowde Shrews and Honest Wives, by Desiderius Erasmus

This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at https://www.gutenberg.org/license. If you are not located in the United States, you’ll have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: A Merry Dialogue Declaringe the Properties of Shrowde Shrews and Honest Wives

Author: Desiderius Erasmus

Release Date: December 7, 2004 [EBook #14282]

Language: English

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ***

A mery Dia-

logue, declaringe the propertyes

of shrowde shrewes, and ho-

nest wyues, not onelie verie

pleasaunte, but also not a

lytle profitable: made

by ye famous clerke

D. Erasmus.

Roteroda-

mus.

Translated into

Englyshe.

Anno. M.CCCCC.

LVII.

[Transcriber's Note: With the exception of hyphenation at the end of lines, the text version preserves the line breaks of the original; the html version has been treated similar to drama and starts a new paragraph for each change of speaker. An illustration of the title page is included to give an impression of the original.]

View HTML file with all the original page images (4.5mb)

Eulalia. God spede, & a thousand mine old acqueintāce. xantippa.

xan. As many agayn, my dere hert. Eulalia. me semets ye ar warē much faire now of late.

Eula. Saye you so? gyue you me a mocke at the first dash.

xan. Nay veryly but I take you so.

Eula. Happely mi new gown maketh me to loke fayrer then I sholde doe.

xan. Sothe you saye, I haue not sene a mynioner this many dayes, I reken it Englishe cloth.

Eu. It is english stuff and dyed in Venis.

xan. It is softer then sylke what an oriente purpel colore here is who gaue you so rich a gift.

Eu. How shoulde honeste women come by their gere? but by their husbandes.

xā. Happy arte thou that hathe suche an husband, but I wolde to god for his passyon, that I had maryed an husband of clowts, when I had maried col my good mā.

Eula. Why say ye so. I pray you, are you at oddes now.

xā. I shal neuer be at one wt him ye se how beggerly I go. I haue not an hole smock to put on my backe, and he is wel contente with all: I praye god I neuer come in heuen & I be not ashamed oftimes to shewe my head, when I se other wiues how net and trim they go that ar matched with farre porer mē then he is.

Eula. The apparell of honest wiues is not in the aray of the body, nor in the tirements of their head as saynte Peter the apostle teacheth vs (and that I learned a late at a sermon) but in good lyuynge and honest conuersacion and in the ornamentes of the soule, the cōmon buenes ar painted up, to please manye mennes eies we ar trime ynough yf we please our husbands only.

xan. But yet my good man so euyll wylling to bestow ought vpon his wyfe, maketh good chere, and lassheth out the dowrye that hee hadde with mee no small pot of wine.

Eulaly, where vpon?

xantipha, wheron hym lykethe beste, at the tauerne, at the stewes and at the dyce.

Eulalia Peace saye not so.

xan. wel yet thus it is, then when he cōmeth home to me at midnight, longe watched for, he lyeth rowtyng lyke a sloyne all the leue longe nyght, yea and now and thē he all bespeweth his bed, and worse then I will say at this tyme.

Eulali. Peace thou dyshonesteth thy self, when thou doest dishonesteth thy husbād.

xantip. The deuyl take me bodye and bones but I had leuer lye by a sow with pigges, then with suche a bedfelowe.

Eulali. Doest thou not then take him vp, wel favoredly for stūbling.

Xantip. As he deserueth I spare no tonge.

Eulalia. what doth he thē.

xantip. At the first breake he toke me vp vengeably, trusting that he shoulde haue shakē me of and put me to scilence with his crabid wordes.

Eula Came neuer your hote wordes vnto hādstrokes.

xantip. On a tyme we fel so farre at wordes yt we wer almost by ye eares togither.

Eula what say you womā?

xan. He toke vp a staffe wandryng at me, as the deuill had bene on hym ready to laye me on the bones.

Eula. were thou not redye to ron in at the bēch hole.

xanti. Nay mary I warrant the. I gat me a thre foted stole in hand, & he had but ones layd his littell finger on me, he shulde not haue founde me lame. I woulde haue holden his nose to the grindstōe

Eulalia. A newe found shelde, ye wanted but youre dystaffe to haue made you a speare.

xantip. And he shoulde not greatlye a laughed at his parte.

Eulali. Ah my frynde. xantyppa. that way is neither good nor godly,

xantippa what is neither good nor godly. yf he wyll not vse me, as hys wyfe: I wil not take him for my husbande.

Eulalya. But Paule sayeth that wyues shoulde bee boner and buxome vnto their husbandes with all humylytye, and Peter also bryngethe vs an example of Sara, that called her husbande Abrahame, Lorde.

xantippa. I know that as well as you thē ye same paule say that men shoulde loue theyr wyues, as Christ loues his spouse the churche let him do his duete I wil do myne.

Eula. But for all that, when the matter is so farre that the one muste forber the other it is reason that the woman giue place vnto the man,

xan. Is he meete to be called my husbāde that maketh me his vnderlynge and his dryuel?

Eula. But tel me dame xātip. Would he neuer offre the stripes after that

xātip. Not a stripe, and therin he was the wyser man for & he had he should haue repented euery vayne in hys harte.

Eulali. But thou offered him foule wordes plentie,

xantip. And will do.

Eula. What doth he ye meane seasō.

xantip. What doth he sometyme cowcheth an hogeshed, somtime he doth nothing but stande and laughe at me, other whyle takethe hys Lute wheron is scarslie three strynges layenge on that as fast as he may dryue because he would not here me.

Eula. Doeth that greue thee?

xantippa. To beyonde home, manie a tyme I haue much a do to hold my handes.

Eula. Neighbour. xantip. wylt thou gyue me leaue to be playn with the.

xantippa Good leaue haue you.

Eula. Be as bolde on me agayne our olde acquayntaunce and amite, euen frō our chyldhode, would it should be so.

xantippa. Trueth you saie, there was neuer woman kinde that I fauoured more

Elaly Whatsoeuer thy husbād be, marke well this, chaunge thou canst not, In the olde lawe, where the deuill hadde cast aboone betwene the man and the wife, at the worste waye they myght be deuorsed, but now that remedie is past, euē till death depart you he must nedes be thy husbande, and thou hys wyfe,

xan. Il mote they thryue & thei that taken away that liberty from vs

Eulalia. Beware what thou sayest, it was christes act.

Xā. I can euil beleue that

Eula. It is none otherwyse, now it is beste that eyther of you one beyng with an other, ye laboure to liue at reste and peace.

xantyppa. Why? can I forgeue him a new,

Eu. It lieth great parte in the womē, for the orderinge of theyr husbandes.

xan. Leadest thou a mery life with thine.

Eula Now all is well.

xan. Ergo ther was somwhat to do at your fyrste metying

Eula. Neuer no greate busynes, but yet as it, happeneth now and than betwene man & womā, there was foule cloudes a loft, that might haue made a storme but that they were ouer blowen with good humanitie and wyse handlynge. Euery man hath hys maner and euery mā hath his seueral aptite or mynde, and thinkes hys owne way best, & yf we list not to lie there liueth no mā without faulte, which yf anie were elles, ywis in wedlocke they ought to know and not vtterly hated

xan, you say well,

Eulalya. It happeneth many times that loue dayes breketh betwene man and wife, before ye one be perfitly knowē vnto the other beware of that in any wife, for when malice is ones begon, loue is but barely redressed agayne, namely, yf the mater grow furthe unto bytter checkes, & shamfull raylinges such things as are fastened with glew, yf a manne wyll all to shake them strayght waye whyle the glew is warme, they soone fal in peces, but after ye glew is ones dried vp they cleue togither so fast as anie thing, wherefore at the beginning a meanes must be made, that loue mai encrease and be made sure betwene ye man & the wife, & that is best brought aboute by gentilnesse and fayre condycions, for the loue that beautie onelie causeth, is in a maner but a cheri faire

Xan. But I praye you hartelye tell me, by what pollycy ye brought your good man to folow your daunce.

Eula. I wyll tell you on this condicyon, that ye will folowe me.

xan. I can.

Eula, It is as easy as water if ye cā find in your hart to do it, nor yet no good time past for he is a yong mā, and you ar but agirle of age, and I trowe it is not a yere ful sins ye wer maried.

Xā All thys is true

Eulalia. I wyll shew you then. But you must kepe it secret

xantip. with a ryght good wyl.

Eula. This was my chyefe care, to kepe me alwayes in my housbandes fauoure, that there shulde nothyng angre him I obserued his appetite and pleasure I marked the tymes bothe whan he woulde be pleased and when he wold be all byshrwed, as they tameth the Elephantes and Lyons or suche beastes that can not be wonne by strēgth

xantyppa. Suche a beaste haue I at home.

Eula. Thei that goth vnto the Elephantes weare no white garmentes, nor they that tame wylde bulles, weare no blasynge reedes, for experience teacheth, that suche beastes bee madde with those colours, like as the Tygers by the sound of tumbrels be made so wode, that thei plucke theymself in peces. Also thei yt breake horses haue their termes and theyr soundes theyr hadlynges, and other knackes to breake their wyldnes, wyth all. Howe much more then is it oure duetyes that ye wyues to use suche craftes toward our husbandes with whō all our lyfe tyme wil we, nyl we is one house, and one bed.

xantip. furthwith your tale.

Eula, whē I had ones marked there thynges. I applied my selfe unto hym, well ware not to displease him.

xantip. How could thou do that.

Eulalya. Fyrste in the ouerseynge my householde, which is the very charge and cure of wyues, I wayted euer, not onely gyuynge hede that nothing shoulde be forgotten or undoone, but that althynges should be as he woulde haue it, wer it euer so small a trifle.

xā. wherin.

Eulalia. As thus. Yf mi good man had a fantasye to this thynge, or to that thyng, or if he would haue his meate dressed on this fashion, or that fashion.

xan. But howe couldest thou fashyon thye selfe after hys wyll and mynde, that eyther woulde not be at home or elles be as freshe as a saulte heryng.

Elali. Abyde a while. I come not at that yet, yf my husband wer very sad at anye tyme, no time to speake to him. I laughed not nor tryfled him as many a woman doth but I looked rufully and heauyly, for as a glasse (if it be a true stone) representeth euer ye physnamy of hym that loketh in it, so lykewyse it becommeth a wedded woman alway to agre vnto the appetite of her husbande, that she be not mery whē he murneth, nor dysposed to play whē he is sad. And if that at any time he be waiward shrewshaken, either I pacyfye hym with faire wordes, or I let hym alone, vntyll the wynd be ouerblowen gyuing him neuer a word at al, vntil the time come that I may eyther excuse my faute, or tell hym of hys. In lyke wyse when he commeth home wel whitled, I gyue hym gentyll and fayre woordes, so with fayre entreatynge I gette hym to bed.

xantyppa, O careful state of wyues, whē they muste be gladde and fayne to followe their husbandes mindes, be thei eluyshe, dronken, or doying what myschiefe they liste.

Eula. As whoe saieth this gentill dealynge serueth not for bothe partyes, for they spyte of theyr berdes muste suffre many thynges in our demeanor, yet a time ther is, whē in a weighty matter it is laufull that the wyfe tell the good mā his faute, if that it be matter of substaunce, for at lyght trifles, it is best to play byll under wynge.

xantyp. what tune is that

Eula. when he is ydle, neither angry, pensife, nor ouersen, then betwixt you two secretly he must be told his faute gētly, or rather intreated, that in this thynge or that he play the better husbande to loke better to his good name and fame and to his helth and this tellyng must be myxt with mery conceites and pleasaunt wordes many times I make a meane to tel my tale after this fashyon, that he shall promise me, he shal take no displeasure wyth my thynge, that I a foolyshe woman shall breake vnto hym, that pertayneth eyther to hys helthe worshyppe or welth. When I haue sayde that I woulde, I chop cleane from that communication and falle into some other pastime, for this is all our fautes, neyghbour Xantippa, that whē we begyn ones to chat our tounges neuer lie.

Xantip. So men say

Eulalia. Thus was I well ware on, that I neuer tell my husbād his fautes before companie, nor I neuer caried any cōplaynte furthe a dores: the mendes is soner made whē none knoweth it but two, and there were anie suche faute that myght not be wel borne nor amēded by ye wyues tellige, it is more laudable that the wife make complaynte vnto the Parentes and kynsfolke of her husband, then vnto her own, and so to moderate her complaynte that she seme not to hate hym but hys vice nor let her play all the blabbe, that in some poynt vnutered, he may know & loue his wiues curteysy.

Xantip. She had nede be aswellerned womā, that would do all this.

Eu. Mary through suche demeanoure, we shall sterre our husbādes vnto lyke gentylnesse.

Xan: There be some that cannot be amended with all the gentyll handlynge in the worlde.

Eula: In faith I thyncke nay, but case there be, marke this wel the good man must be for borne, howe soeuer the game goeth, then is it better to haue him alwayes at one point or ells more kinde and louing throw oure gentill handlinge, then to haue him worse and worse throwe our cursednesse, what wyll you say and I tell you of husbādes that hath won theyr wiues by suche curtesie, howe muche more are we boūde to use the same towarde our husbandes.

Xantip. Than shall you tell of one farre vnlyke vnto thyne husband.

Eula. I am aquented with a certayne gentelman well lerned and a veri honest man, he maried a yonge wyfe, a mayden of. xvii. yeare olde brede and brought vp of a chylde in the countre vnder her fathers and mother wing (as gentilmen delite to dwel in the countre) to hunt & hawke This yong gētilman would haue one that were unbrokē, because he might the soner breake her after hys owne mind, he begā to entre her in learning syngynge, and playinge, and by lytle and lytle to vse here to repete suche thynges as she harde at sermons, and to instruct her with other things that myght haue doone her more good in time to come. This gere, because it was straūge vnto this young womā which at home was brought vp in all ydelnesse, and with the light communication of her fathers seruantes, and other pastimes, begā to waxe greuouse & paynfull, vnto her. She withdrew her good mynde and dylygence and whē her husband called vpon her she put ye finger in the eye, and wepte and many times she would fal downe on the grounde, beatynge her head agaynst the floure, as one that woulde be out of thys worlde. When there was no healpe for this gere, the good man as though he hadde bene wel asked his wyfe yf she woulde ryde into the countre with him a sporting vnto her fathers house, so that she graunted anone. When they were cōmē thyther, the gentilman left his wyfe with her mother & her sisters he wēt furth an huntynge with his father in lawe, there betwene theym two, he shewed al together, how that he hadde hoped to haue had a louynge companion to lead his lyfe withall, now he hath one that is alwaies blubberynge and pyninge her selfe awaye withoute anye remedie, he prayeth him to lay to hys hande in amendinge his doughters fautes her father answered yt he had ones giuen hym his doughter, and yf that she woulde not be rewled by wordes (a goddes name take Stafforde lawe) she was his owne. Then the gētylman sayd agayne, I know that I may do but I had leuer haue her amēded eyther by youre good counsell or commaundement, then to come vnto that extreme waies, her father promised that he would fynde a remedye. After a dai or two, he espied time and place whē he might be alone with his doughter. Then he loked soureli vpō his doughter, as though he had bene horne woode with her, he began to reherse how foule a beaste she was, how he feared many tymes that she neuer haue bestowed her. And yet sayde he much a doe, vnto my great coste and charg, I haue gottē the one that moughte lye by any Ladyes syde, and she were a quene and yet thou not perceiuying what I haue done for the nor knowynge that thou hast suche a man whiche but of his goodnes myghte thynke thee to euill to be stoye in his kytchen, thou contrariest al his mind to make a short tale he spake so sharpely to her, that she feared that he wold haue beaten her. It is a man of asubtyll and wylye wytte, whyche wythout a vysarde is ready to playe anye maner of parte. Thē this yonge wife what for feare, and for trouthe of the matter, cleane stryken oute of countenaunce, fell downe at her fathers fete desyryng hym that he wolde forgette and forgiue her all that was past and euer after she woulde doe her duetye Her father forgaue her, and promised that she shoulde finde him a kynd and a louynge father, yf so be that she perfourmed her promyse.

xantippa. How dyd she afterwarde?

Eulalya, whē she was departed frō her father she came backe into a chaumber, and there by chaunce found her husband alone she fel on her knees to hym and said. Mā in tymes paste, I neyther knewe you nor my selfe, from this daye froward ye shall se me cleane chaunged, onelye pardon that is past, with that her husbande toke her in his armes & kyssed her sayinge she should lacke nothyng yf she woulde holde her in that mind.

xantip. Why did she cōtinue so.

Eulalya. Euen tyll her endynge daye, nor there was none so vyle a thynge but that she woulde laye handes on it redely with all her herte, if her husband wolde let her, so great loue was begō and assured betwene them and many a daye after, shee thanked god yt euer she met with such a mā. For yf she had not she sayd she had ben cleane caste awaye.

xan. We haue as greate plentie of suche housbandes, as of white crowes.

Eulalya. Now, but for werieng you? I coulde tell you a thynge that chaunced a late in this same citye.

xantyppa. I haue litell to doe, and I lyke your communicacyon very well.

Eulalia. There was a certaine gentilmā he as suche sort of men do, vsed much huntyng in the cuntre, where he happened on a younge damoysell, a very pore womās child on whō he doted a man well stryken in age, and for her sake he lay oftē out of his owne house his excuse was hūtîg. This mās wife an exceding honest womā, halfe deale suspecte the mater, tried out her husbandes falshed, on a tyme whē he had taken his iourney fourth of the town vnto some other waies, she wente vnto that poore cotage and boulted out all the hoole matter, where he laye on nights, wheron he drāke, what thyng thei had to welcō him withall. There was neither one thyng nor other, but bare walles. This good womā returned home, and sone after came againe brynginge wt her a good soft bed, and al therto belongyng and certain plate besydes that she gaue them moneye, chargynge them that if the Gentilmā came agayne, they shold entreate him better not beyng knowē al this while that she was his wyfe, but fayued her to be her sister. Not long after her husband stale thether againe, he sawe the howse otherwyse decked, and better fare then he was wounte to haue. He asked, frome whence commeth al this goodly gere? They sayde that an honeste matrone, a kynsewoman of hys hadde broughte it thyther and commaunded thenm that he should be well cherished when so euer he came, by and by his hart gaue him that it was hys wiues dede, whan he came home he demaūded of her yf she hadde bene there or nay, she sayd yea. Then he asked her for what purpose she sente all that housholde stuffe thyther. Man (said she) ye haue bē tenderly brought vp. I perceiued that ye were but corslie handled there, me thought that it was my part, seing it was your wyll and pleasure to be there ye shoulde be better loked to.

Xantippa. She was one of goddes fooles. I woulde rather for a bed haue layd vnder him a bundel of nettels: or a burden of thistels.

Eula. But here the end her husbande perceyuyng the honeste of her great pacience neuer after laye from her, but made good cheare at home with his owne. I am sure ye knowe Gilberte the holāder.

Xan. Very well.

Eu. He (as it is not vnknowē maried an old wife in his florishîg youth.

Xā. Per aduēture he maried the good and notthe woman.

Eulalia. There sayde ye well, setting lytell stoore by hys olde wife, hunted a callette, with whom he kept much companie abrode, he dined or supped litell at home. What wouldest thou haue sayd to ye gere.

Xantip. What woulde I a said? I wolde haue flowē to the hores toppe and I wolde haue crowned myne husbande at hys oute goinge to her with a pysbowle,that he so ēbawlmed might haue gon vnto his souerayne ladie.

Eula. But how much wiselier dyd this woman? She desyred that yonge woman home vnto her, and made her good chere, so by that meanes she brought home also her husband without ani witchraft or sorserie, and yf that at anye season he supped abrode with her she would sende vnto them some good dayntie morsel, and byd him make good chere

Xantippa. I had leuer be slayne then I woulde be bawde vnto myne owne husbande.

Eulalia. Yea, but consyder all thynges well, was not that muche better, then she shoulde be her shrewyshnesse, haue putte her husbandes minde cleane of from her, and so haue ledde all her life in trouble and heuynesse.

Xantippa. I graunte you well, that it was better so but I coulde not abyde it.

Eulalya. I wyll tell you a prety story more, and so make an ende One of oure neyghboures, a well disposed and a goddes man, but that he is some what testie, on a day pomeld his wife well and thriftely aboute the pate and so good a woman as euer was borne, she picked her into an inner parler, and there weepynge and sobbynge, eased her heuye harte, anone after, by chaunce her husbande came into the same place, and founde hys wyfe wepyng. What sitest thou heare sayth he seighing & sobbîg like a child Thē she like a wise woman sayde. Is it not more honesty for me to lamente my dolours here in a secret place, thē to make wondering and on oute crye in the strete, as other womē do. At so wyfely and womanly a saing his hart melted, promysynge her faythfullye and truelie that he woulde neuer laye stroke on her afterwarde, nor neuer did.

Xantippa. No more wil mine god thanke my selfe.

Eulalya. But then ye are alwaies one at a nother, agreinge lyke dogges and cattes.

Xan. What wouldest thou that I should do?

Eu. Fyrst & formest, whatsoeuer thy husbande doeth sayde thou nothinge, for his harte must be wonne by lytell and litel by fayre meanes, gentilnesse and forbearing at the last thou shalte eyther wynne him or at the least waie thou shalt leade a better life thē thou doest now.

Xantippa. He his beyonde goddes forbode, he wil neuer amende.

Eulalia. Eye saye not so, there is no beest so wild but by fayre handling be tamed, neuer mistrust man thē. Assay a moneth or two, blame me and thou findest not that my counsell dooeth ease. There be some fautes wyth you thoughe thou se them, be wyse of this especyall that thou neuer gyue hym foule wordes in the chambre, or inbed but be sure that all thynges there bee full of pastyme and pleasure. For yf that place which is ordeined to make amēdes for all fautes and so to renew loue, be polluted, eyther with strife or grugynges, then fayre wel al hope of loue daies, or atonementes, yet there be some beastes so wayward and mischeuous, that when theyr husbandes hath them in their arms a bed, they scholde & chyde making yt same plesure their lewd condicions (that expelseth all displeasures oute of their husbandes mynde unpleasaunt and lytell set bi corrupting the medecine that shuld haue cured al deadly greifes, & odible offēces.

xantip. That is no newes to me.

Eula. Though the woman shulde be well ware and wyse that she shulde neuer be disobedient vnto her husbād yet she ought to be most circūspect that at meting she shew her selfe redy and pleasaunt unto him.

xantyppa. Yea vnto a man, holde well withall but I am combred with a beast.

Eula. No more of those wordes, most commonly our husbādes ar euyll through our owne faute, but to returne againe vnto our taile they that ar sene in the olde fables of Poetes sai that Venus whome they make chiefe lady of wedlocke (hath a girdle made by the handy worke of Vulcan her Lorde, and in that is thrust al that enforceth love and with that she girdeth her whan so ever she lyeth wyth her housbande

xantippa. A tale of a tubbe.

Eulalya. A tayle it is, but herkē what the taile meaneth.

xantippa. Tell me.

Eulalia That techeth us that the wyfe ought to dyspose her selfe all the she maye that lieng by her husbād she shew him al the plesure that she cā; Wherby the honest love of matrimony may reuiue and be renewed, & that there with be clene dispatched al grudges & malice

xant. But how shall we come by the thys gyrdle?

Eula. We nede neyther wytchraft nor enchauntment, ther is non of them al, so sure as honest condiciōs accompayned with good feloshyp.

xan. I can not fauoure suche an husbande as myne is.

Eula, It is moste thy profyt that he be no longer suche. If thou couldest by thy Circes craft chaunge thin husband into an hogge, or a bore wouldest thou do it?

xantip. God knoweth.

Eu. Art thou in dout? haddest thou leauer marye an hogge than a mā.

Xantip. Mary I had leauer haue a manne.

Eulalia. wel, what and thou coudest by sorcery make him of a drōkarde a soober man, of a vnthrifte a good housbande of an ydell losell a towarde body, woldest thou not doe it?

xantip. yes, hardely, woulde I doe it. But where shoulde I learne the cunnyng?

Eula. For soth that cōning hast thou in the if thou wouldest vtter it, thyn must he be, mauger thy head, the towarde ye makest him, the better it is for the, thou lokest on nothing but on his leude cōdicions, and thei make the half mad, thou wouldest amende hym and thou puttest hym farther oute of frame, loke rather on his good condicions, and so shalt thou make him better. It is to late calagayne yesterdaie before thou were maryed unto hym. It was tyme to cōsyder what his fautes were for a women shold not only take her husbande by the eyes but by the eares. Now it is more tyme to redresse fautes thē to fynd fautes.

xantt. What woman euer toke her gusband by the eares.

Eulali. She taketh her husbande by the eyes that loketh on nothyng, but on the beautye and pulcritude of the body. She taketh him by the eares, that harkeneth diligētly what the common voice sayth by him

xantip. Thy counsaile is good, but it commeth a day after the faire.

Eula. Yet it commeth time ynough to bringe thyne husbande to a greate furtheraunce to that shall bee yf God sende you anie frute togither.

xantippa. We are spede alredy of that.

Eulaly. How long ago.

Xantip. A good whyle ago

Eulalia. How many monethes old is it.

Xantip. It lacketh lytle of. vii.

Eula What a tale is this, ye reken the monethes by nightes and dayes double.

Xantippa. Not so.

Eula. It can not be none other wyse, yf ye reken from the mariage day.

xantippa. yea, but what thē, I spake with him before we were maried.

Eulalia. Be children gotten by speakinge.

xantip. It befell so that he mette me alone and begon to ticke at me, and tickled me vnder the arme holes and sydes to make me laugh. I might not awaie with ticklynge, but fell downe backewarde vpon a bedde and he a lofte, neuer leuinge kyssynge on me, what he did els I can not saye, but by sayncte Marie within a while after my bely beganne to swell.

Eula. Go now and disprayse thine husbāde whiche yf he gette children by playe, what wyll he do whē he goeth to it in good ernest.

xantippa, I fere me I am payed agayin.

Eula. Good locke God hath sent a fruitfull grounde, a good tylmā.

Xantip. In that thing he might haue lesse laboure and more thanke.

Eula. Few wyues finde at theyr husbandes in that behalf but were ye thē sure togither.

xanti. yea that we were

Eula. The offence is the lesse. Is it a man chylde.

xantip. yea.

Eula. He shal make you at one so that ye wil bow & forbere. What saieth other mē by thin husband, they that be his cōpanions, they delite with him abrode

xā, They say that he is meruelous gentyl, redy to do euery man pleasure, liberal and sure to his frende.

Eula. And that putteth me in good cōfort that he wyll be ruled after our counsayll.

xantip. But I fynde him not so.

Eula. Order thy selfe to him as I haue tolde thee, and cal me no more true sayer but a lier, if he be not so good vnto the as to anie creature liuinge Again cōsidre this he is yet but a childe, I thinke he passethe not. xxiiij. the blacke oxe neuer trode on hys fote, nowe it is but loste laboure to recken vpon anye deuorse.

xantippa. Yet manye a tyme and ofte I haue troubled my braynes withal

Eulalia. As for that fantasye whensoeuer it commeth into your mynd first of all counte how naked a thynge woman is, deuorsed from man. It is the hyghest dignitie that longethe to the wyfe to obsequyous vnto her spouse. So hath natyre ordeined so god hath appoynted, that the woman shoulde be ruled al by the man loke onely vppon this whiche is trouth, thine husbande he is, other canste thou none haue. Againe forgette not that swete babe be gotten of both your bodies what thin beste thou to do with that, wilte thou take it awaye with thee? Thou shalte bereue thyne husband his ryght wylt thou leue it with hym? thou shalt spoile thy self of thy chefeste Jewell thou haste. Beside all this tell me trueth hast thou none euyll wyllers, Besyde all thys tell me trueth, hast thou none euyll wyllers.

xan. I haue a stepdame I warrant you, and myne husbandes mother euen such another.

Eula. Do they hate the so deadly.

xantip. They woulde se me hanged.

Eula. Thē forget not thē what greater plesure couldest thou shew them then to se the deuorsed from thine husband and to led a wydowes lyfe. Yea and worse thē a wydow, for wydowes be at their choise.

xantippa. I holde well with youre coūsell, but I can not awaye with the paynes.

Eulalia. yet recken what paines ye toke or ye colde teache your paret to speake.

xantippa. Exceadynge much.

Eu. And thinke you much to labour a lytel in reforming your husbād with whō you may liue merely all the dayes of your lyfe. What busines doe mē put thē self to be wel & easly horsed & shal we think our selues to good to take paines that we mai haue our husbādes gētil & curteise vnto vs.

xantip. What shal I do.

Eu. I haue told you al redy, se that al thing be clene & trim at home, that no sluttysh or vnclenlye syghtes dryue hym oute a dores. Be your selfe alwayes redy at a becke, berynge continuali in minde what reuerēce the wife oweth vnto her husbād. Be neyther in your dūpes, nor alwayes on your mery pinnes go nether to homely nor to nycely. Let your meat be cleane dressed, you know yourhusbādes diet. What he loueth best that dresse. Moreouer shewe your selfe louinge and fayre spokē vnto thē where he loueth, call them now and thē vnto your table. At meate, se that al thinges be well sauored, and make good there, And whē that he is toppe heuy playing on his lute, sytte thou by and singe to him so shalte thou make hym keepe home, and lessen hys expences This shall he thynke at length, in faythe I am a fonde felowe that maketh suche chere with a strumpet abroode with greate lossee bothe of substance and name, seyng that I haue a wyfe at home bothe muche fayrer, and one that loueth me ten times better, with whome I may be both clenlyer receiued and dayntelier cherisshed

xantip. Beleuest thou that it will take and I put it into a profe.

Eulali. Looke on me. I warrante it or ought longe I wyll in hande with thyne husbande, & I will tell hym his part.

xantippa. ye marie that is well sayde. But be wyse that he espie not our casle, he would plaie his fages, all the house should be to lytle for hym.

Eulalia. Take no thoughte. I shall so conuey my matters, that he shall dysclose all together hym selfe, what busynesse is betwene you, that done I wyll handell him pretelie as I thinke beste, and I truste to make him a new man for the and when I se my time I wyl make a lie for thee, how louinge thou hast spoken of him.

xantippa. Chryst spede vs and bringe our pupose well aboute.

Eulalia. He will not fayle the so thou do thy good wyll.

There was a man that maried a woman whiche hadde great riches and beawtye. Howe bee it she hadde suche an impedyment of nature that she was domme and coulde not speake, whiche thynge made him ryghte pensyfe, and sayd, wherfore vpon a daye as he walked alone ryght heuye in hearte thynkynge vpon his wyfe. There came one to hym and asked him what was the cause of his heuynesse whiche answered that it was onely bycause his wife was borne dōme. To whome this other said I shal shewe the soone a remedy and a medicyne (therfore that is thus) go tak an aspen leafe and lay it vnder her tōge this night shee beinge a sleape, and I warrant the that shee shall speake on the morowe whiche man beyng glad of thys medycyne prepared therfore and gathered aspen leaues, wherfore he layd thre of them vnder her tonge whan shee was a sleape. And on the morow when he him selfe awaked he Desyrous to know how hys medicine wrought being in bed with her, he demaunded of her how she did, and sodēly she answered and sayd, I beshrewe thy harte for waking me so early, and so by the vertue of that medycyne she was restored to her speche. But in cōclusion her spech encresed day by day and she was so curst of cōdycyon that euery daie she brauled and chyd with her husbande, so muche at the laste he was more weped, and had much more trouble and disease wyth her shrewed wordes then he hadde before whē she was dumme, wherfore as he walked another time alone he happened to mete agayne with the same personne that taught hym the sayde medycine and sayde to hym thys wyse. Syr ye taught me a medicin but late to make my domme wyfe to speake, byddynge me lay an aspen leafe vnder her toūg when she sleapte, and I layde three Aspen leaves there. Wherfore nowe she speaketh. But yet she speaketh soo much & so shrewdlye that I am more werier of her now, then I was when she was dōme: Wherfore I praie you teache me a medycine to modyfye her that she speake not so muche. This other answered and sayd thus. Sir I am a deuyl of hel but I am one of thē that haue least power there. Al be yet I haue power to make a womā to speake, but and yf a woman begin ones to speake, I nor al the deuyls in hel that haue the mooste power be not able to make a woman to be styll, nor to cause her to leue speakyng.

The end of this pleasant dialogue declaryng the seueral properties of ye two contrary disposers of the wyues aforesayde.

Imprinted at London in Paules

church yearde, at the sygne of

the Sunne, by Antony

Kytson.

[This section produced by David Widger]

A mery Dia-

logue, declaringe the propertyes

of shrowde shrewes, and ho-

nest wyues, not onelie verie

pleasaunte, but also not a

lytle profitable: made

by ye famous clerke

D. Erasmus.

Roteroda-

mus.

Translated into

Englyshe.

Anno. M.CCCCC.

LVII.

Return to the first section without the original page images

Eulalia. God spede, & a thousand mine old acqueintāce. xantippa.

xan. As many agayn, my dere hert. Eulalia. me semets ye ar warē much faire now of late.

Eula. Saye you so? gyue you me a mocke at the first dash.

xan. Nay veryly but I take you so.

Eula. Happely mi new gown maketh me to loke fayrer then I sholde doe.

xan. Sothe you saye, I haue not sene a mynioner this many dayes, I reken it Englishe cloth.

Eu. It is english stuff and dyed in Venis.

xan. It is softer then sylke what an oriente purpel colore here is who gaue you so rich a gift.

Eu. How shoulde honeste women come by their gere? but by their husbandes.

xā. Happy arte thou that hathe suche an husband, but I wolde to god for his passyon, that I had maryed an husband of clowts, when I had maried col my good mā.

Eula. Why say ye so. I pray you, are you at oddes now.

xā. I shal neuer be at one wt him ye se how beggerly I go. I haue not an hole smock to put on my backe, and he is wel contente with all: I praye god I neuer come in heuen & I be not ashamed oftimes to shewe my head, when I se other wiues how net and trim they go that ar matched with farre porer mē then he is.

Eula. The apparell of honest wiues is not in the aray of the body, nor in the tirements of their head as saynte Peter the apostle teacheth vs (and that I learned a late at a sermon) but in good lyuynge and honest conuersacion and in the ornamentes of the soule, the cōmon buenes ar painted up, to please manye mennes eies we ar trime ynough yf we please our husbands only.

xan. But yet my good man so euyll wylling to bestow ought vpon his wyfe, maketh good chere, and lassheth out the dowrye that hee hadde with mee no small pot of wine.

Eulaly, where vpon?

xantipha, wheron hym lykethe beste, at the tauerne, at the stewes and at the dyce.

Eulalia Peace saye not so.

xan. wel yet thus it is, then when he cōmeth home to me at midnight, longe watched for, he lyeth rowtyng lyke a sloyne all the leue longe nyght, yea and now and thē he all bespeweth his bed, and worse then I will say at this tyme.

Eulali. Peace thou dyshonesteth thy self, when thou doest dishonesteth thy husbād.

xantip. The deuyl take me bodye and bones but I had leuer lye by a sow with pigges, then with suche a bedfelowe.

Eulali. Doest thou not then take him vp, wel favoredly for stūbling.

Xantip. As he deserueth I spare no tonge.

Eulalia. what doth he thē.

xantip. At the first breake he toke me vp vengeably, trusting that he shoulde haue shakē me of and put me to scilence with his crabid wordes.

Eula Came neuer your hote wordes vnto hādstrokes.

xantip. On a tyme we fel so farre at wordes yt we wer almost by ye eares togither.

Eula what say you womā?

xan. He toke vp a staffe wandryng at me, as the deuill had bene on hym ready to laye me on the bones.

Eula. were thou not redye to ron in at the bēch hole.

xanti. Nay mary I warrant the. I gat me a thre foted stole in hand, & he had but ones layd his littell finger on me, he shulde not haue founde me lame. I woulde haue holden his nose to the grindstōe

Eulalia. A newe found shelde, ye wanted but youre dystaffe to haue made you a speare.

xantip. And he shoulde not greatlye a laughed at his parte.

Eulali. Ah my frynde. xantyppa. that way is neither good nor godly,

xantippa what is neither good nor godly. yf he wyll not vse me, as hys wyfe: I wil not take him for my husbande.

Eulalya. But Paule sayeth that wyues shoulde bee boner and buxome vnto their husbandes with all humylytye, and Peter also bryngethe vs an example of Sara, that called her husbande Abrahame, Lorde.

xantippa. I know that as well as you thē ye same paule say that men shoulde loue theyr wyues, as Christ loues his spouse the churche let him do his duete I wil do myne.

Eula. But for all that, when the matter is so farre that the one muste forber the other it is reason that the woman giue place vnto the man,

xan. Is he meete to be called my husbāde that maketh me his vnderlynge and his dryuel?

Eula. But tel me dame xātip. Would he neuer offre the stripes after that

xātip. Not a stripe, and therin he was the wyser man for & he had he should haue repented euery vayne in hys harte.

Eulali. But thou offered him foule wordes plentie,

xantip. And will do.

Eula. What doth he ye meane seasō.

xantip. What doth he sometyme cowcheth an hogeshed, somtime he doth nothing but stande and laughe at me, other whyle takethe hys Lute wheron is scarslie three strynges layenge on that as fast as he may dryue because he would not here me.

Eula. Doeth that greue thee?

xantippa. To beyonde home, manie a tyme I haue much a do to hold my handes.

Eula. Neighbour. xantip. wylt thou gyue me leaue to be playn with the.

xantippa Good leaue haue you.

Eula. Be as bolde on me agayne our olde acquayntaunce and amite, euen frō our chyldhode, would it should be so.

xantippa. Trueth you saie, there was neuer woman kinde that I fauoured more

Elaly Whatsoeuer thy husbād be, marke well this, chaunge thou canst not, In the olde lawe, where the deuill hadde cast aboone betwene the man and the wife, at the worste waye they myght be deuorsed, but now that remedie is past, euē till death depart you he must nedes be thy husbande, and thou hys wyfe,

xan. Il mote they thryue & thei that taken away that liberty from vs

Eulalia. Beware what thou sayest, it was christes act.

Xā. I can euil beleue that

Eula. It is none otherwyse, now it is beste that eyther of you one beyng with an other, ye laboure to liue at reste and peace.

xantyppa. Why? can I forgeue him a new,

Eu. It lieth great parte in the womē, for the orderinge of theyr husbandes.

xan. Leadest thou a mery life with thine.

Eula Now all is well.

xan. Ergo ther was somwhat to do at your fyrste metying

Eula. Neuer no greate busynes, but yet as it, happeneth now and than betwene man & womā, there was foule cloudes a loft, that might haue made a storme but that they were ouer blowen with good humanitie and wyse handlynge. Euery man hath hys maner and euery mā hath his seueral aptite or mynde, and thinkes hys owne way best, & yf we list not to lie there liueth no mā without faulte, which yf anie were elles, ywis in wedlocke they ought to know and not vtterly hated

xan, you say well,

Eulalya. It happeneth many times that loue dayes breketh betwene man and wife, before ye one be perfitly knowē vnto the other beware of that in any wife, for when malice is ones begon, loue is but barely redressed agayne,

namely, yf the mater grow furthe unto bytter checkes, & shamfull raylinges such things as are fastened with glew, yf a manne wyll all to shake them strayght waye whyle the glew is warme, they soone fal in peces, but after ye glew is ones dried vp they cleue togither so fast as anie thing, wherefore at the beginning a meanes must be made, that loue mai encrease and be made sure betwene ye man & the wife, & that is best brought aboute by gentilnesse and fayre condycions, for the loue that beautie onelie causeth, is in a maner but a cheri faire.

Xan. But I praye you hartelye tell me, by what pollycy ye brought your good man to folow your daunce.

Eula. I wyll tell you on this condicyon, that ye will folowe me.

xan. I can.

Eula, It is as easy as water if ye cā find in your hart to do it, nor yet no good time past for he is a yong mā, and you ar but agirle of age, and I trowe it is not a yere ful sins ye wer maried.

Xā All thys is true

Eulalia. I wyll shew you then. But you must kepe it secret

xantip. with a ryght good wyl.

Eula. This was my chyefe care, to kepe me alwayes in my housbandes fauoure, that there shulde nothyng angre him I obserued his appetite and pleasure I marked the tymes bothe whan he woulde be pleased and when he wold be all byshrwed, as they tameth the Elephantes and Lyons or suche beastes that can not be wonne by strēgth

xantyppa. Suche a beaste haue I at home.

Eula. Thei that goth vnto the Elephantes weare no white garmentes, nor they that tame wylde bulles, weare no blasynge reedes, for experience teacheth, that suche beastes bee madde with those colours, like as the Tygers by the sound of tumbrels be made so wode, that thei plucke theymself in peces. Also thei yt breake horses haue their termes and theyr soundes theyr hadlynges, and other knackes to breake their wyldnes, wyth all.

Howe much more then is it oure duetyes that ye wyues to use suche craftes toward our husbandes with whō all our lyfe tyme wil we, nyl we is one house, and one bed.

xantip. furthwith your tale.

Eula, whē I had ones marked there thynges. I applied my selfe unto hym, well ware not to displease him.

xantip. How could thou do that.

Eulalya. Fyrste in the ouerseynge my householde, which is the very charge and cure of wyues, I wayted euer, not onely gyuynge hede that nothing shoulde be forgotten or undoone, but that althynges should be as he woulde haue it, wer it euer so small a trifle.

xā. wherin.

Eulalia. As thus. Yf mi good man had a fantasye to this thynge, or to that thyng, or if he would haue his meate dressed on this fashion, or that fashion.

xan. But howe couldest thou fashyon thye selfe after hys wyll and mynde, that eyther woulde not be at home or elles be as freshe as a saulte heryng.

Elali. Abyde a while. I come not at that yet, yf my husband wer very sad at anye tyme, no time to speake to him. I laughed not nor tryfled him as many a woman doth but I looked rufully and heauyly, for as a glasse (if it be a true stone) representeth euer ye physnamy of hym that loketh in it, so lykewyse it becommeth a wedded woman alway to agre vnto the appetite of her husbande, that she be not mery whē he murneth, nor dysposed to play whē he is sad. And if that at any time he be waiward shrewshaken, either I pacyfye hym with faire wordes, or I let hym alone, vntyll the wynd be ouerblowen gyuing him neuer a word at al, vntil the time come that I may eyther excuse my faute, or tell hym of hys. In lyke wyse when he commeth home wel whitled, I gyue hym gentyll and fayre woordes, so with fayre entreatynge I gette hym to bed.

xantyppa, O careful state of wyues, whē they muste be gladde and fayne to followe their husbandes mindes, be thei eluyshe, dronken, or doying what myschiefe they liste.

Eula. As whoe saieth this gentill dealynge serueth not for bothe partyes, for they spyte of theyr berdes muste suffre many thynges in our demeanor, yet a time ther is, whē in a weighty matter it is laufull that the wyfe tell the good mā his faute, if that it be matter of substaunce, for at lyght trifles, it is best to play byll under wynge.

xantyp. what tune is that

Eula. when he is ydle, neither angry, pensife, nor ouersen, then betwixt you two secretly he must be told his faute gētly, or rather intreated, that in this thynge or that he play the better husbande to loke better to his good name and fame and to his helth and this tellyng must be myxt with mery conceites and pleasaunt wordes many times I make a meane to tel my tale after this fashyon, that he shall promise me, he shal take no displeasure wyth my thynge, that I a foolyshe woman shall breake vnto hym, that pertayneth eyther to hys helthe worshyppe or welth.

When I haue sayde that I woulde, I chop cleane from that communication and falle into some other pastime, for this is all our fautes, neyghbour Xantippa, that whē we begyn ones to chat our tounges neuer lie.

Xantip. So men say

Eulalia. Thus was I well ware on, that I neuer tell my husbād his fautes before companie, nor I neuer caried any cōplaynte furthe a dores: the mendes is soner made whē none knoweth it but two, and there were anie suche faute that myght not be wel borne nor amēded by ye wyues tellige, it is more laudable that the wife make complaynte vnto the Parentes and kynsfolke of her husband, then vnto her own, and so to moderate her complaynte that she seme not to hate hym but hys vice nor let her play all the blabbe, that in some poynt vnutered, he may know & loue his wiues curteysy.

Xantip. She had nede be aswellerned womā, that would do all this.

Eu. Mary through suche demeanoure, we shall sterre our husbādes vnto lyke gentylnesse.

Xan: There be some that cannot be amended with all the gentyll handlynge in the worlde.

Eula: In faith I thyncke nay, but case there be, marke this wel the good man must be for borne, howe soeuer the game goeth, then is it better to haue him alwayes at one point or ells more kinde and louing throw oure gentill handlinge, then to haue him worse and worse throwe our cursednesse, what wyll you say and I tell you of husbādes that hath won theyr wiues by suche curtesie, howe muche more are we boūde to use the same towarde our husbandes.

Xantip. Than shall you tell of one farre vnlyke vnto thyne husband.

Eula. I am aquented with a certayne gentelman well lerned and a veri honest man, he maried a yonge wyfe, a mayden of. xvii. yeare olde brede and brought vp of a chylde in the countre vnder her fathers and mother wing

(as gentilmen delite to dwel in the countre) to hunt & hawke This yong gētilman would haue one that were unbrokē, because he might the soner breake her after hys owne mind, he begā to entre her in learning syngynge, and playinge, and by lytle and lytle to vse here to repete suche thynges as she harde at sermons, and to instruct her with other things that myght haue doone her more good in time to come. This gere, because it was straūge vnto this young womā which at home was brought vp in all ydelnesse, and with the light communication of her fathers seruantes, and other pastimes, begā to waxe greuouse & paynfull, vnto her. She withdrew her good mynde and dylygence and whē her husband called vpon her she put ye finger in the eye, and wepte and many times she would fal downe on the grounde, beatynge her head agaynst the floure, as one that woulde be out of thys worlde.

When there was no healpe for this gere, the good man as though he hadde bene wel asked his wyfe yf she woulde ryde into the countre with him a sporting vnto her fathers house, so that she graunted anone. When they were cōmē thyther, the gentilman left his wyfe with her mother & her sisters he wēt furth an huntynge with his father in lawe, there betwene theym two, he shewed al together, how that he hadde hoped to haue had a louynge companion to lead his lyfe withall, now he hath one that is alwaies blubberynge and pyninge her selfe awaye withoute anye remedie, he prayeth him to lay to hys hande in amendinge his doughters fautes her father answered yt he had ones giuen hym his doughter, and yf that she woulde not be rewled by wordes (a goddes name take Stafforde lawe) she was his owne. Then the gētylman sayd agayne, I know that I may do but I had leuer haue her amēded eyther by youre good counsell or commaundement,

then to come vnto that extreme waies, her father promised that he would fynde a remedye. After a dai or two, he espied time and place whē he might be alone with his doughter. Then he loked soureli vpō his doughter, as though he had bene horne woode with her, he began to reherse how foule a beaste she was, how he feared many tymes that she neuer haue bestowed her. And yet sayde he much a doe, vnto my great coste and charg, I haue gottē the one that moughte lye by any Ladyes syde, and she were a quene and yet thou not perceiuying what I haue done for the nor knowynge that thou hast suche a man whiche but of his goodnes myghte thynke thee to euill to be stoye in his kytchen, thou contrariest al his mind to make a short tale he spake so sharpely to her, that she feared that he wold haue beaten her. It is a man of asubtyll and wylye wytte, whyche wythout a vysarde is ready to playe anye maner of parte.

Thē this yonge wife what for feare, and for trouthe of the matter, cleane stryken oute of countenaunce, fell downe at her fathers fete desyryng hym that he wolde forgette and forgiue her all that was past and euer after she woulde doe her duetye Her father forgaue her, and promised that she shoulde finde him a kynd and a louynge father, yf so be that she perfourmed her promyse.

xantippa. How dyd she afterwarde?

Eulalya, whē she was departed frō her father she came backe into a chaumber, and there by chaunce found her husband alone she fel on her knees to hym and said. Mā in tymes paste, I neyther knewe you nor my selfe, from this daye froward ye shall se me cleane chaunged, onelye pardon that is past, with that her husbande toke her in his armes & kyssed her sayinge she should lacke nothyng yf she woulde holde her in that mind.

xantip. Why did she cōtinue so.

Eulalya. Euen tyll her endynge daye, nor there was none so vyle a thynge but that she woulde laye handes on it redely with all her herte, if her husband wolde let her, so great loue was begō and assured betwene them and many a daye after, shee thanked god yt euer she met with such a mā. For yf she had not she sayd she had ben cleane caste awaye.

xan. We haue as greate plentie of suche housbandes, as of white crowes.

Eulalya. Now, but for werieng you? I coulde tell you a thynge that chaunced a late in this same citye.

xantyppa. I haue litell to doe, and I lyke your communicacyon very well.

Eulalia. There was a certaine gentilmā he as suche sort of men do, vsed much huntyng in the cuntre, where he happened on a younge damoysell, a very pore womās child on whō he doted a man well stryken in age, and for her sake he lay oftē out of his owne house his excuse was hūtîg. This mās wife an exceding honest womā, halfe deale suspecte the mater, tried out her husbandes falshed,

on a tyme whē he had taken his iourney fourth of the town vnto some other waies, she wente vnto that poore cotage and boulted out all the hoole matter, where he laye on nights, wheron he drāke, what thyng thei had to welcō him withall. There was neither one thyng nor other, but bare walles. This good womā returned home, and sone after came againe brynginge wt her a good soft bed, and al therto belongyng and certain plate besydes that she gaue them moneye, chargynge them that if the Gentilmā came agayne, they shold entreate him better not beyng knowē al this while that she was his wyfe, but fayued her to be her sister. Not long after her husband stale thether againe, he sawe the howse otherwyse decked, and better fare then he was wounte to haue. He asked, frome whence commeth al this goodly gere? They sayde that an honeste matrone, a kynsewoman of hys hadde broughte it thyther and commaunded

thenm that he should be well cherished when so euer he came, by and by his hart gaue him that it was hys wiues dede, whan he came home he demaūded of her yf she hadde bene there or nay, she sayd yea. Then he asked her for what purpose she sente all that housholde stuffe thyther. Man (said she) ye haue bē tenderly brought vp. I perceiued that ye were but corslie handled there, me thought that it was my part, seing it was your wyll and pleasure to be there ye shoulde be better loked to.

Xantippa. She was one of goddes fooles. I woulde rather for a bed haue layd vnder him a bundel of nettels: or a burden of thistels.

Eula. But here the end her husbande perceyuyng the honeste of her great pacience neuer after laye from her, but made good cheare at home with his owne. I am sure ye knowe Gilberte the holāder.

Xan. Very well.

Eu. He (as it is not vnknowē maried an old wife in his florishîg youth.

Xā. Per aduēture he maried the good and notthe woman.

Eulalia. There sayde ye well, setting lytell stoore by hys olde wife, hunted a callette, with whom he kept much companie abrode, he dined or supped litell at home. What wouldest thou haue sayd to ye gere.

Xantip. What woulde I a said? I wolde haue flowē to the hores toppe and I wolde haue crowned myne husbande at hys oute goinge to her with a pysbowle,that he so ēbawlmed might haue gon vnto his souerayne ladie.

Eula. But how much wiselier dyd this woman? She desyred that yonge woman home vnto her, and made her good chere, so by that meanes she brought home also her husband without ani witchraft or sorserie, and yf that at anye season he supped abrode with her she would sende vnto them some good dayntie morsel, and byd him make good chere

Xantippa. I had leuer be slayne then I woulde be bawde vnto myne owne husbande.

Eulalia. Yea, but consyder all thynges well, was not that muche better, then she shoulde be her shrewyshnesse, haue putte her husbandes minde cleane of from her, and so haue ledde all her life in trouble and heuynesse.

Xantippa. I graunte you well, that it was better so but I coulde not abyde it.

Eulalya. I wyll tell you a prety story more, and so make an ende One of oure neyghboures, a well disposed and a goddes man, but that he is some what testie, on a day pomeld his wife well and thriftely aboute the pate and so good a woman as euer was borne, she picked her into an inner parler, and there weepynge and sobbynge, eased her heuye harte, anone after, by chaunce her husbande came into the same place, and founde hys wyfe wepyng. What sitest thou heare sayth he seighing & sobbîg like a child Thē she like a wise woman sayde. Is it not more honesty for me to lamente my dolours here in a secret place, thē to make wondering and on oute crye in the strete,

as other womē do. At so wyfely and womanly a saing his hart melted, promysynge her faythfullye and truelie that he woulde neuer laye stroke on her afterwarde, nor neuer did.

Xantippa. No more wil mine god thanke my selfe.

Eulalya. But then ye are alwaies one at a nother, agreinge lyke dogges and cattes.

Xan. What wouldest thou that I should do?

Eu. Fyrst & formest, whatsoeuer thy husbande doeth sayde thou nothinge, for his harte must be wonne by lytell and litel by fayre meanes, gentilnesse and forbearing at the last thou shalte eyther wynne him or at the least waie thou shalt leade a better life thē thou doest now.

Xantippa. He his beyonde goddes forbode, he wil neuer amende.

Eulalia. Eye saye not so, there is no beest so wild but by fayre handling be tamed, neuer mistrust man thē. Assay a moneth or two, blame me and thou findest not that my counsell dooeth ease. There be some fautes wyth you thoughe

thou se them, be wyse of this especyall that thou neuer gyue hym foule wordes in the chambre, or inbed but be sure that all thynges there bee full of pastyme and pleasure. For yf that place which is ordeined to make amēdes for all fautes and so to renew loue, be polluted, eyther with strife or grugynges, then fayre wel al hope of loue daies, or atonementes, yet there be some beastes so wayward and mischeuous, that when theyr husbandes hath them in their arms a bed, they scholde & chyde making yt same plesure their lewd condicions (that expelseth all displeasures oute of their husbandes mynde unpleasaunt and lytell set bi corrupting the medecine that shuld haue cured al deadly greifes, & odible offēces.

xantip. That is no newes to me.

Eula. Though the woman shulde be well ware and wyse that she shulde neuer be disobedient vnto her husbād yet she ought to be most circūspect

that at meting she shew her selfe redy and pleasaunt unto him.

xantyppa. Yea vnto a man, holde well withall but I am combred with a beast.

Eula. No more of those wordes, most commonly our husbādes ar euyll through our owne faute, but to returne againe vnto our taile they that ar sene in the olde fables of Poetes sai that Venus whome they make chiefe lady of wedlocke (hath a girdle made by the handy worke of Vulcan her Lorde, and in that is thrust al that enforceth love and with that she girdeth her whan so ever she lyeth wyth her housbande

xantippa. A tale of a tubbe.

Eulalya. A tayle it is, but herkē what the taile meaneth.

xantippa. Tell me.

Eulalia That techeth us that the wyfe ought to dyspose her selfe all the she maye that lieng by her husbād she shew him al the plesure that she cā; Wherby the honest love of matrimony may reuiue and be renewed, & that there with be clene dispatched al grudges & malice

xant. But how shall we come by the thys gyrdle?

Eula. We nede neyther wytchraft nor enchauntment, ther is non of them al, so sure as honest condiciōs accompayned with good feloshyp.

xan. I can not fauoure suche an husbande as myne is.

Eula, It is moste thy profyt that he be no longer suche. If thou couldest by thy Circes craft chaunge thin husband into an hogge, or a bore wouldest thou do it?

xantip. God knoweth.

Eu. Art thou in dout? haddest thou leauer marye an hogge than a mā.

Xantip. Mary I had leauer haue a manne.

Eulalia. wel, what and thou coudest by sorcery make him of a drōkarde a soober man, of a vnthrifte a good housbande of an ydell losell a towarde body, woldest thou not doe it?

xantip. yes, hardely, woulde I doe it. But where shoulde I learne the cunnyng?

Eula. For soth that cōning hast thou in the if thou wouldest vtter it, thyn must he be, mauger thy head, the towarde ye makest him, the better it is for the,

thou lokest on nothing but on his leude cōdicions, and thei make the half mad, thou wouldest amende hym and thou puttest hym farther oute of frame, loke rather on his good condicions, and so shalt thou make him better. It is to late calagayne yesterdaie before thou were maryed unto hym. It was tyme to cōsyder what his fautes were for a women shold not only take her husbande by the eyes but by the eares. Now it is more tyme to redresse fautes thē to fynd fautes.

xantt. What woman euer toke her gusband by the eares.

Eulali. She taketh her husbande by the eyes that loketh on nothyng, but on the beautye and pulcritude of the body. She taketh him by the eares, that harkeneth diligētly what the common voice sayth by him

xantip. Thy counsaile is good, but it commeth a day after the faire.

Eula. Yet it commeth time ynough to bringe thyne husbande to a greate furtheraunce to that shall bee yf God sende you anie frute togither.

xantippa. We are spede alredy of that.

Eulaly. How long ago.

Xantip. A good whyle ago

Eulalia. How many monethes old is it.

Xantip. It lacketh lytle of. vii.

Eula What a tale is this, ye reken the monethes by nightes and dayes double.

Xantippa. Not so.

Eula. It can not be none other wyse, yf ye reken from the mariage day.

xantippa. yea, but what thē, I spake with him before we were maried.

Eulalia. Be children gotten by speakinge.

xantip. It befell so that he mette me alone and begon to ticke at me, and tickled me vnder the arme holes and sydes to make me laugh. I might not awaie with ticklynge, but fell downe backewarde vpon a bedde and he a lofte, neuer leuinge kyssynge on me, what he did els I can not saye, but by sayncte Marie within a while after my bely beganne to swell.

Eula. Go now and disprayse thine husbāde whiche yf he gette children by playe, what wyll he do whē he goeth to it in good ernest.

xantippa, I fere me I am payed agayin.

Eula. Good locke God hath sent a fruitfull grounde, a good tylmā.

Xantip. In that thing he might haue lesse laboure and more thanke.

Eula. Few wyues finde at theyr husbandes in that behalf but were ye thē sure togither.

xanti. yea that we were

Eula. The offence is the lesse. Is it a man chylde.

xantip. yea.

Eula. He shal make you at one so that ye wil bow & forbere. What saieth other mē by thin husband, they that be his cōpanions, they delite with him abrode

xā, They say that he is meruelous gentyl, redy to do euery man pleasure, liberal and sure to his frende.

Eula. And that putteth me in good cōfort that he wyll be ruled after our counsayll.

xantip. But I fynde him not so.

Eula. Order thy selfe to him as I haue tolde thee, and cal me no more true sayer but a lier, if he be not so good vnto the as to anie creature liuinge Again cōsidre this he is yet but a childe, I thinke he passethe not.

xxiiij. the blacke oxe neuer trode on hys fote, nowe it is but loste laboure to recken vpon anye deuorse.

xantippa. Yet manye a tyme and ofte I haue troubled my braynes withal

Eulalia. As for that fantasye whensoeuer it commeth into your mynd first of all counte how naked a thynge woman is, deuorsed from man. It is the hyghest dignitie that longethe to the wyfe to obsequyous vnto her spouse. So hath natyre ordeined so god hath appoynted, that the woman shoulde be ruled al by the man loke onely vppon this whiche is trouth, thine husbande he is, other canste thou none haue. Againe forgette not that swete babe be gotten of both your bodies what thin beste thou to do with that, wilte thou take it awaye with thee? Thou shalte bereue thyne husband his ryght wylt thou leue it with hym? thou shalt spoile thy self of thy chefeste Jewell thou haste. Beside all this tell me trueth hast thou none euyll wyllers, Besyde all thys tell me trueth, hast thou none euyll wyllers.

xan. I haue a stepdame I warrant you, and myne husbandes mother euen such another.

Eula. Do they hate the so deadly.

xantip. They woulde se me hanged.

Eula. Thē forget not thē what greater plesure couldest thou shew them then to se the deuorsed from thine husband and to led a wydowes lyfe. Yea and worse thē a wydow, for wydowes be at their choise.

xantippa. I holde well with youre coūsell, but I can not awaye with the paynes.

Eulalia. yet recken what paines ye toke or ye colde teache your paret to speake.

xantippa. Exceadynge much.

Eu. And thinke you much to labour a lytel in reforming your husbād with whō you may liue merely all the dayes of your lyfe. What busines doe mē put thē self to be wel & easly horsed & shal we think our selues to good to take paines that we mai haue our husbādes gētil & curteise vnto vs.

xantip. What shal I do.

Eu. I haue told you al redy, se that al thing be clene & trim at home, that no sluttysh or vnclenlye syghtes dryue hym oute a dores. Be your selfe alwayes redy at a becke, berynge continuali in minde what reuerēce the wife oweth vnto her husbād. Be neyther in your dūpes, nor alwayes on your mery pinnes go nether to homely nor to nycely. Let your meat be cleane dressed, you know yourhusbādes diet. What he loueth best that dresse. Moreouer shewe your selfe louinge and fayre spokē vnto thē where he loueth, call them now and thē vnto your table. At meate, se that al thinges be well sauored, and make good there, And whē that he is toppe heuy playing on his lute, sytte thou by and singe to him so shalte thou make hym keepe home, and lessen hys expences This shall he thynke at length, in faythe I am a fonde felowe that maketh suche chere with a strumpet abroode with greate lossee bothe of substance and name, seyng that I haue a wyfe

at home bothe muche fayrer, and one that loueth me ten times better, with whome I may be both clenlyer receiued and dayntelier cherisshed

xantip. Beleuest thou that it will take and I put it into a profe.

Eulali. Looke on me. I warrante it or ought longe I wyll in hande with thyne husbande, & I will tell hym his part.

xantippa. ye marie that is well sayde. But be wyse that he espie not our casle, he would plaie his fages, all the house should be to lytle for hym.

Eulalia. Take no thoughte. I shall so conuey my matters, that he shall dysclose all together hym selfe, what busynesse is betwene you, that done I wyll handell him pretelie as I thinke beste, and I truste to make him a new man for the and when I se my time I wyl make a lie for thee, how louinge thou hast spoken of him.

xantippa. Chryst spede vs and bringe our pupose well aboute.

Eulalia. He will not fayle the so thou do thy good wyll.

There was a man that maried a woman whiche hadde great riches and beawtye. Howe bee it she hadde suche an impedyment of nature that she was domme and coulde not speake, whiche thynge made him ryghte pensyfe, and sayd, wherfore vpon a daye as he walked alone ryght heuye in hearte thynkynge vpon his wyfe. There came one to hym and asked him what was the cause of his heuynesse whiche answered that it was onely bycause his wife was borne dōme. To whome this other said I shal shewe the soone a remedy and a medicyne (therfore that is thus) go tak an aspen leafe and lay it vnder her tōge this night shee beinge a sleape, and I warrant the that shee shall speake on the morowe whiche man beyng glad of thys medycyne prepared therfore and gathered aspen leaues, wherfore he layd thre of them vnder her tonge whan shee was a sleape.

And on the morow when he him selfe awaked he Desyrous to know how hys medicine wrought being in bed with her, he demaunded of her how she did, and sodēly she answered and sayd, I beshrewe thy harte for waking me so early, and so by the vertue of that medycyne she was restored to her speche. But in cōclusion her spech encresed day by day and she was so curst of cōdycyon that euery daie she brauled and chyd with her husbande, so muche at the laste he was more weped, and had much more trouble and disease wyth her shrewed wordes then he hadde before whē she was dumme, wherfore as he walked another time alone he happened to mete agayne with the same personne that taught hym the sayde medycine and sayde to hym thys wyse. Syr ye taught me a medicin but late to make my domme wyfe to speake, byddynge me lay an aspen leafe vnder her toūg when she sleapte, and I layde three Aspen leaves there.

Wherfore nowe she speaketh. But yet she speaketh soo much & so shrewdlye that I am more werier of her now, then I was when she was dōme: Wherfore I praie you teache me a medycine to modyfye her that she speake not so muche. This other answered and sayd thus. Sir I am a deuyl of hel but I am one of thē that haue least power there. Al be yet I haue power to make a womā to speake, but and yf a woman begin ones to speake, I nor al the deuyls in hel that haue the mooste power be not able to make a woman to be styll, nor to cause her to leue speakyng.

The end of this pleasant dialogue declaryng the seueral properties of ye two contrary disposers of the wyues aforesayde.

Imprinted at London in Paules

church yearde, at the sygne of

the Sunne, by Antony

Kytson.

*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ***

Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed.

Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.

START: FULL LICENSE

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg™ License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license.

Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™ electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg™ electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™ works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg™ name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™ License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States.

1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™ trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™ License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™ License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg™.

1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License.

1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg™ work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™ website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg™ License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works provided that:

• You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”

• You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works.

• You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work.

• You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.

1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.

1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any Defect you cause.

Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™

Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg™ collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.

Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.

The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact

Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate

Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.

Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org.

This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.

Table of Contents

The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Merry Dialogue Declaringe the Properties of Shrowde Shrews and Honest Wives, by Desiderius Erasmus

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE