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Title: The Wise and Ingenious Companion, French and English;

Subtitle: or, A Collection of the Wit of the Illustrious Persons, Both Ancient and Modern

Author: Abel Boyer

Release Date: April 7, 2017 [EBook #54498]

Language: English, French

Credits: Produced by Turgut Dincer, RichardW, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ***

Transcriber’s Note

The Wise and Ingenious

COMPANION,

FRENCH and ENGLISH:

OR, A

COLLECTION

OF THE

WIT,

OF THE

Illustrious PERSONS,

BOTH

Ancient and Modern:

CONTAINING

Their wise Sayings, noble Sentiments, witty Repartees, Jests and pleasant Stories.

CALCULATED

For the Improvement and Pleasure of the English and Foreigners.

By Mr. Boyer, Author of the Royal Dictionary.

Omne tulit Punctum qui miscuit utile Dulci. Horat.

London. Printed by G.C. for Tho. Newborough, at the Golden-ball in St. Paul’s Church-yard, and J. Nicholson at the Kings Armes in Little Britain. 1700.

LE

COMPAGNON

Sage & Ingenieux,

ANGLOIS & FRANÇOIS.

OU

Recueil de L’ESPRIT,

DES

PERSONNES Illustres,

TANT

Anciennes que Modernes:

CONTENANT

Leurs Sentences, Pensées nobles, genereux Sentimens, Reparties fines, Bons Mots & Contes plaisans.

COMPOSE

Pour l’Utilité & le Plaisir des Anglois & des Etrangers.

Par Mr. Boyer, Autheur du Dictionnaire Royal Anglois & François.

Omne tulit punctum qui miscuit utile dulci. Horat.

A Londres. Chez Tho. Newborough à la boule d’Or, au Cimetiere de S. Paul; Et John Nicholson aux Armes du Roy, dans la petite Bretagne, 1700.

chapter

A Prefatory

INTRODUCTION;

CONCERNING

The Excellency, Nature and Use of wise Sayings witty Repartees, Jests, and pleasant Stories.

SEntences, witty Repartees and Jests, have ever been esteem’d by all civilized Nations: The ancient Greeks and Romans have shewn what account they made of them, by their care of Collecting and Quoting them. Julius Cesar made a Collection of the Jests of his Contemporaries; the famous Historian Plutarch is very exact in recording all those of the illustrious Men of whom he writes the Lives: Wherein he has been imitated by Diogenes Laertius, in his lives of the Philosophers; and among the Moderns, my Lord Bacon, Guichardin, and several others have enrich’d their Writings with them.

These Testimonies carry so much weight with them, that we cannot but join our Approbation with that of so many illustrious Persons: The only Question is how to make a good Choice, and not confound true Wit and Sense with abundance of low Thoughts, and dull, and vulgar Jests which are imposed upon the World; and this I have proposed to do in the following Collection.

INTRODUCTION

En forme de

PREFACE,

TOUCHANT

L’Excellence, la Nature, & l’Usage des Sentences, Reparties fines, Bons Mots, & Contes Plaisans.

LES Sentences, les Reparties fines, & les Bons Mots ont toujours été estimez de toutes les Nations policées: Les anciens Grecs & Romains ont fait voir le cas qu’ils en faisoient, par le soin qu’ils ont eu de les recueillir & de les citer. Jules Cesar fit un Recueil des Bons Monts de ses Contemporains; le celebre Historien Plutarque est fort exact à rapporter tous ceux des Hommes illustres dont il écrit les Vies; en quoi il a été imité par Diogene Laërce dans les Vies des Philosophes; & parmi les Modernes mylord Bacon, Guicharchin, & plusieurs autres en ont enrichi leurs Ecrits.

Ces Témoignages sont d’un si grand Poids, que nous ne saurions nous dispenser de joindre nôtre approbation à celle de tant d’illustres Personnes: Il s’agit seulement de faire un bon choix, & de ne pas confondre l’Esprit & le bon Sens avec quantité de Pensées basses, & de Plaisanteries froides & vulgaires qui se debitent dans le monde, & c’est ce que je me suis proposé de faire dans ce Recueil.

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The Ancients under the names of Apophthegms, comprehended what we call wise Sayings, generous and noble Sentiments, Jests and witty Repartees: However, according to our Notions, the Apophthegm thus differs from a Jest or Repartee, that the first is generally Grave and Instructive; whereas Jests and Repartees instruct us and make us merry at once; nay, sometimes these are meerly diverting, and sometimes sharp and Satirical.

The French call Bons Mots all those witty Sayings and ingenious Replies which are the result of a true Judgment, and of a happy and quick Imagination.

Now the first and most certain Rule to know a true Jest from a false Thought, is that it may be translated into another Language, without losing any thing of its Sense and Pleasantness; for then it is certain that it runs upon the Thing expressed in it, and not upon a Pun or Quibble.

Les Anciens sous le nom d’Apophthegmes comprenoient ce que nous appellons Sentences, Sentimens nobles & genereux, Bons Mots, & Reparties fines: Cependant, selon nos Idées, l’Apophthegme differe d’un Bon Mot, ou d’une Repartie, en ce que le premier est ordinairement grave & instructif, au lieu que les Bons Mots & les Reparties nous instruisent & nous rejouïssent en même tems; quelquefois même ceux-ci sont purement divertissants, & quelquefois piquans & satiriques.

Les François appellent Bons Mots, toutes ces Sentences & Reparties ingenieuses qui partent d’un bon Jugement & d’une Imagination prompte & heureuse.

La premiere & la plus certaine Regle pour distinguer un veritable Bon Mot d’avec une fausse Pensée, est qu’il puisse être traduit en une autre Langue, sans rien perdre de sa justesse & de son agrément; car alors il est certain qu’il roule sur la chose qui y est exprimée, & non pas sur une Pointe, ou sur une Rencontre.

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Puns and Quibbles are what we call playing upon Words, or Equivocations; they are known by this, that being turned into another Language, they loose that resemblance of Sound wherein their subtilty consists; and as they affect the Ear more than the Mind, we must take care not to mistake them for true Jests. The pretended Beauty of Equivocations is only owing to Chance, which makes one and the same Word to signify several Things, and therefore their double Application is generally forc’d; but suppose it were true, a Jest is still imperfect when it runs upon the Expression, and not upon the Thought. I confess an Equivocation may be allow’d of when it offers two different Ideas to our Mind, one of which is in a Proper, and the other in a Figurative Sense. But as for those miserable Puns and Quibbles, which are nothing but an empty gingle of Words, the French have branded them with the infamous Name of Turlupinades; and they ought to be banished the Conversation of polite and well-bred Persons, as only fit to entertain the vulgar Sort.

Les Pointes & les Rencontres sont ce qu’on appelle des jeux de Mots ou des Equivoques; on les connoit par ceci, c’est qu’étant traduites en une autre Langue, elles perdent cette ressemblance de son dans laquelle leur subtilité consiste; & comme elles regardent plus l’Oreille que l’Esprit, nous devons prendre garde de ne pas les confondre avec les veritables Bons Mots. La pretenduë beauté des Equivoques n’est qu’un effet du hazard, qui fait qu’un même Mot signifie plusieurs choses; ainsi leur double application est presque toûjours forcée; mais supposé qu’elle fut juste, le Bon Mot est imparfait lors qu’il ne roule que sur l’Expression, & non par sur la Pensée. J’avouë que l’Equivoque peut être supportable lors qu’elle offre deux Idées differentes à nôtre Esprit, dont l’une est dans le sens propre & l’autre dans le sens Figuré: Mais pour ce qui est de ces mechantes Pointes, qui ne sont qu’un vain son de Mots, les François les ont notées d’infamie sous le nom de Turlupinades, & elles doivent être bannies de la Conversation des gens polis & bien élevez, n’étant propres qu’à divertir le Vulgaire.

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Jests and wity Repartees have ever been more frequent among the ancient Grecians than any other Nations: Which may be ascribed, first to the quickness of their Wit, their deep Learning, and good Education; secondly, to the constitution of their Government; for living for the most part in Common-wealths, they were not constrained in their Fancy by the Respect due to Sovereigns, and those whom they make sharers of their Authority in Monarchical States; wherein the different degrees establish’d among Men, do often keep Inferiours from speaking their Thoughts about the Ridiculum of those above them.

Les Bons Mots & les Reparties fines ont été plus frequentes parmi les anciens Grecs que parmi les autres Peuples: Ce que l’on peut attribuer, premierement à la vivacité de leur Esprit, à leur profond sçavoir, & à leur bonne Education; secondement: Car la pluspart vivant dans des Republipues leur Esprit n’etoit pas retenu par le respect deu aux Souverains, & à ceux aux quels ils font part de leur Autorité dans les Etats Monarchiques; où les divers degrez qu’on y a etablis parmi les Hommes, empêchent souvent les inferieurs de dire ce qu’il pensent sur le Ridicule de ceux qui sont au dessus d’eux.

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We may draw a double advantage from true Jests, for besides that they serve to make us merry, and revive now and then a fainting Conversation: Several of them are full of good and wholesom Instructions, applicable to the different Exigencies of Life, both in a publick and private Fortune.

On peut tirer un double avantage des Bons Mots, car outre qu’ils servent à nous divertir, & à ranimer une Conversation languissante, il y en a plusieurs qui sont remplis de belles Instructions, qu’on peut appliquer aux differents Etats de la Vie, dans une Fortune publique ou privée.

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As for Stories they differ from Jests, in that they express their Subject in its full Latitude, and generally leave nothing to be guest at, as Jests do; they are sometimes divertingly Instructive; but their chief aim is to make the Hearers merry by relating sometimes a concurrence of Comical Accidents; sometimes a piece of Simplicity or Ignorance, and sometimes Malicious Tricks that have been put upon any one, to make Sport for others: In all these we must use the same Caution as we have mentioned about Jests, that is, we must take care not to confound good Stories with many pieces of low Buffoonry, which tickle mean and vulgar Ears by their smutiness, dawb’d over with paltry Equivocations.

Pour ce qui est des Contes, ils different des Bons Mots en ce qu’ils exposent leur sujet dans toute son étenduë, & ne laissent d’ordinaire rien à deviner comme font les Bons Mots. Ils instruisent quelquefois en divertissant, mais leur principal but n’est que de rejouïr leurs Auditeurs en rapportant tantôt quelque rencontre d’Accidens plaisans; tantôt quelque naïveté ou quelque Ignorance; & quelquefois des Tours malicieux, dont on s’est servi pour divertir les autres aux depens de quelqu’un. Dans les Contes il faut user de la même precaution dont nous avons parlé touchant les Bons Mots, c’est à dire, nous devons avoir soin de ne pas confondre les bons Contes, avec plusieurs Bouffonneries basses, qui chatouillent les Oreilles du Peuple par leurs ordures, cachées sous de méchantes Equivoques.

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Now the use a Gentleman ought to make of Jests and Stories is, never to quote them but when they come pat and à-propos to the Subject and before those who are disposed to hear and be merry with them; without courting the occasion of being thought a pleasant and jocose Man, for Persons of a nice discernment will presently take notice of those nauseous Affectations: And as the judicious La Bruyere has it: That Man who endeavours to make us Merry, seldom makes himself to be esteem’d.

L’Usage qu’un honnête homme doit faire des Bons Mots & des Contes, est de ne les citer que lors qu’il viennent à propos & naturellement au sujet, & en presence de ceux qui sont disposez à les entendre & à s’en divertir; sans rechercher l’occasion de faire le plaisant & l’enjoüé, car les gens d’un discernement delicat connoissent d’abord ces sortes d’Affectations; & selon le judicieux Mr. de la Bruyere: Il n’est pas ordinaire que celui qui fait rire, se fasse estimer.

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We must also observe never to usher in Jests or Stories with formal Commendations, which will prevent our hearers from being agreeably surpriz’d; for ’tis by this surprise that the Pleasure they give is principally excited. Likewise when we begin to tell them, we must not begin to laugh our selves, if we intend to make the Company laugh; for those who promised us Mirth before-hand, are seldom so good as their Words; and how silly and ridiculous does that Man look who laughs by himself, at a cold and thread-bare Jest, whilst the rest can hardly force a Smile to keep him in Countenance? Lastly, we must avoid telling a Jest or Story several times over to the same Persons, an Impertinence which makes the Conversation of old People so very distateful.

Il faut aussi observer de ne pas introduire les Contes & les Bons Mots par des loüanges étudiées, qui empêchent nos Auditeurs d’être agréablement surpris; parce que c’est par cette surprise que le plaisir qu’ils excitent est principalement causé. Il faut encore que lors que nous les racontons nous n’en rions pas les premiers, si nous voulons faire rire la Compagnie; Car il arrive souvent que ceux qui nous ont assuré qu’ils vont nous faire rire, ne tiennent pas leurs promesses; & rien n’est si sot ni si ridicule qu’un homme qui rit seul d’une Pensée froide & usée, pendant que les autres tâchent en vain de soûrire pour l’empêcher de perdre Contenance. Enfin, il faut éviter l’inconvenient de dire un Conte ou un Bon Mot plusieurs fois aux mêmes Personnes, ce qui est un Ridicule qui rend la Conversation des vieilles gens si desagréable.

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Before I make an end of this Introduction, I shall obviate an Objection which some supercilious Criticks will be apt to make against this Work, viz. That most of these Apophthegms, Jests, Repartees and Stories, are already known to Persons of good Education, and to Men of Learning: To which I answer, That granting this to be true, yet ’tis hoped they may be glad to find them here again, just as we are pleased to hear a fine Tune over and over, provided it be well Sung: But besides, this Collection is so vastly Rich, that it is hard, if not impossible, for any single Reader to know all it contains and not be either instructed or diverted by some thing that will be new to him. To which I must add, That my chief Design in this Collection is to facilitate the Learning of the French Tongue to the English; and that of the English Language to Foreigners, and upon that score I have taken particular care to make both Languages answer one another, as near as their different Idioms would allow.

Avant que de finir cette Introduction, je previendrai une Objection que quelques Critiques de mauvaise humeur pourront faire contre cét Ouvrage, qui est, que la pluspart de ces Apophthegmes, Bons Mots, Reparties & Contes sont deja seus par les Personnes bien élevées, & par les gens de Lettres; à quoi je repons, que quand cela seroit, on espere pourtant qu’ils seront bien-aise de les retrouver ici, de même qu’on entend avec plaisir un bel Air, quoi qu’on fait deja entendu, pourveu qu’il soit bien chanté. Dailleurs ce Recueil est si grand & si riche, qu’il est difficile, pour ne pas dire impossible qu’un même Lecteur sache tout ce qu’il contient, & qu’il ne soit instruit ou diverti par quelque chose qui aura pour lui la grace de la nouveautê. A quoi je dois ajoûter que mon dessein principal dans ce Recueil est de rendre la Langue Françoise facile à apprendre aux Anglois, & l’Angloise aux Etrangers; & c’est pour cela que je me suis attaché avec soin â faire repondre ces deux Langues l’une à l’autre autant que leurs differens Idiomes l’ont pû permettre.

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THE

Apophthegms

OF THE

ANCIENTS,

BEING

Their wise Sayings, fine Thoughts, noble Sentiments, Jests and witty Repartees, &c.

1.

A Rich Man of Athens desired the Philosopher Aristippus to tell him how much he must give him to instruct his Son: Aristippus ask’d him a Thousand Drachms. How! said the Athenian, I could purchase a Slave for that Money: Do so, answer’d Aristipus, and thou shalt have two; giving him to understand, that his Son would have the Vices of a Slave, if he did not bestow a liberal Education upon him.

LES

Apophthegmes

DES

ANCIENS,

C’est à dire

Leurs Sentences, belles Pensees, nobles Sentimens, bons Mots, & Reparties fines, &c.

1

UN Riche Athenien pria le Philosophe Aristippe de lui dire ce qu’il desiroit pour instruire son Fils: Aristippe lui demanda mille Drachmes. Comment, dit l’Athenien, j’acheterois un Esclave de cét Argent là; Achetes en un, lui répondit Aristippe, & tu en auras deux; lui faisant entendre que son Fils auroit les defauts d’un Esclave, s’il ne faisoit pas la depense nécessaire pour le bien élever.

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2

The famous Philosopher Anacharsis was a Scythian by Birth and a Grecian who had no other Merit than that of being born in Greece, looking upon him with Envy, reproached him with the Barbarousness of his Country; I confess, reply’d Anacharsis, that my Country is a Shame to me; but thou art the Shame of thy Country. This Saying may be very well applied to those shallow Wits who despise Strangers, meerly because they are Strangers; not considering that Learning, Wit and Merit, are of all Countries.

2

Le fameux Philosophe Anacharsis ètoit Scythe, & un Grec qui n’avoit d’autre Merite que d’être né en Grece, le regardant avec envie, lui reprochoit la barbarie de son Païs: J’avouë, lui repliqua Anacharsis, que mon Pays me fait honte, mais tu fais honte à ton Pays. Ce mot peut être fort bien appliqué à ces petits Esprits qui méprisent les Etrangers seulement parce qu’ils sont Etrangers, sans considerer que le Sçavoir, l’Esprit & le Merite sont de tout Pays.

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3

When Theopompus was King of Sparta, one was saying in his Presence, that it now went well with their City, because their King had learn’d how to Govern: To which the King very prudently Replied, That it rather came to pass, because their People had learn’d to Obey; intimating that Popular Cities are most injurious to themselves, by their factious Disobedience; which while they are addicted to, they are not easily well governed by the best of Magistrates.

3

Lors que Theopompus ètoit Roy de Sparte, quelqu’un dit en sa presence, que leurs Ville ètoit florissante, parce que leurs Rois avoient appris à gouverner, à quoi le Roy repondit fort sagement, Que cela venoit plûtôt de ce que le Peuple avoit appris à obeïr; donnant à entendre que les Villes où la Populace a du credit, se font beaucoup de tort par leurs Factions & leur desobeïssance, & qu’alors il est difficile, même aux meilleurs Magistrats de les bien gouverner.

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4

Dionysius the elder, Tyrant of Syracuse, reproving his Son, for that he had forcibly violated the Chastity of one of the Citizens Wives, asked him amongst other Things, if he had ever heard that any such thing had been done by him; No, said the Son, but that was because you was not Son to a King: Neither, said Dionysius, will you ever be a Father to one, unless you give over such Pranks as these. The event proved the truth of what he said; for when this young Man succeeded his Father, he was expelled the Kingdom of Syracuse for his ill Behaviour and manner of Life.

4

Denys le vieux, Tyran de Syracuse, grondant son Fils de ce qu’il avoit violé la Chasteté de la Femme d’un des Bourgeois, lui demanda entr’autres choses, s’il avoit jamais entendu dire, qu’il eut fait de pareilles Actions; Non, lui dit le Fils, mais c’est parce que vous n’ètiez pas Fils de Roy: Tu n’en seras jamais Pere, lui dit Denys, si tu fais plus de ces Folies. L’evenement justifia la verité de ce qu’il disoit; car ce jeune Homme ayant succedé à son Pere, il fut chassé du Royaume de Syracuse à cause de sa méchante Conduite & de sa mauvaise Vie.

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5

King Antigonus came to visit Antagoras a learned Man, whom he found in his Tent busied in the Cooking of Congers, Do you think, said Antigonus, that Homer at such time as he wrote the glorious Actions of Agamemnon was boiling of Congers? And do you think, said the other, that Agamemnon when he did those great Actions, was wont to concern himself whether any Man in his Camp boiled Congers or not,

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5

Le Roy Antigonus alla voir Antagoras, Homme savant, lequel il trouva dans sa Tente occupé à apprêter des Congres; Croyez vous, lui dit Antigonus, qu’Homere fit bouillir des Congres lors qu’il écrivoit les glorieuses Actions d’Agamemnon? Et pensez vous, lui dit l’autre, que lors qu’Agamemnon faisoit ces belles Actions, il se mît en peine si quelqu’un dans son Camp faisoit bouillir des Congres ou non?

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6

Socrates was asked, why he endured his Wifes Brawling; says he, Why do you suffer your Geese to gaggle? because, answered one, they lay us Eggs; and my Wife brings me Children, said he.

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6

On demanda à Socrate pourquoy il enduroit les Criailleries de sa Femme, & vous, dit il, Pourquoy souffrez vous le bruit de vos Oyes? Parce, repondit quelqu’un, qu’elles nous pondent des Oeufs; & bien, dit il, & ma Femme me fait des Enfans.

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7

Apelles the famous Painter, drew the Picture of Alexander the Great on Horse-back, and presented it to him; but Alexander not praising it as so excellent a Piece deserved, Apelles desired a living Horse might be brought, who seeing the Picture, fell to pawing and neighing, taking it to be a real one; whereupon Apelles told him, his Horse understood Painting better than himself.

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7

Apelles le fameux Peintre, fit le Portrait d’Alexandre le Grand à Cheval, & le lui presenta, mais comme Alexandre ne loüoit pas assez un si excellent Ouvrage, Apelles demanda qu’on fit venir un Cheval en Vie, lequel à la veuë du portrait se mit à trepigner des Pieds, & à hennir, le prenant pour une realité; surquoy Apelles, lui dit, que son Cheval s’entendoit mieux en Peinture que lui.

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8

Virgil, the famous Poet, was much in favour thro’ his great Wit and Learning with Augustus, insomuch that he daily received his Bread from him; Augustus one Day knowing his deep Discretion, ask’d him privately, If he could guess what was his Father; to which he replied, Truly Sir, I do verily believe he was a Baker, a Baker, and why so? says Augustus; because says Virgil, you always reward me with Bread, which Answer so well pleased the Emperour, that he rewarded him afterwards with Money.

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8

Le fameux Poëte Virgile s’ètoit si bien acquis les bonnes Graces d’Auguste par son Savoir & par son Esprit, qu’il en recevoit son Pain ordinaire; Auguste connoissant la profondeur de son jugement, lui demanda un jour en particulier, s’il pouvoit deviner ce qu’ètoit son Pere? Seigneur, lui repliqua-t-il, je crois fermement qu’il ètoit Boulenger; Boulenger, & pourquoy cela, lui dit Auguste; parce, dit Virgile, que vous me recompensez toûjours en Pain. Cette Réponse plût si fort à l’Empereur, que dans la suite il le recompensa en Argent,

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9

Alexander the Great, having defeated the Army of Darius King of Persia, Darius sued to him for Peace, and proffered him one half of Asia, with ten thousand Talents. Parmenio, one of his Favourites, charm’d with so advantageous a Proposal, Sir, said he to his Master, I vow were I Alexander, I would gladly accept these offers; and so would I, answered Alexander, if I was Parmenio.

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9

Alexandre le Grand ayant remporté la Victoire sur l’Armée de Darius Roy de Perse, celui-ci lui demanda la Paix, & lui offrit la moitié de l’Asie, avec dix mille Talents. Parmenion, un de ses Favoris, charmé d’une Proposition si avantageuse, Seigneur, dit-il à son Maître, je vous proteste que si j’ètois Alexandre, j’accepterois ces offres avec joye; & moy aussi, lui répondit Alexandre, si j’ètois Parmenion.

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10

The same Alexander being at Delphos, dragged the Priestess of Apollo to the Temple, in order to make her consult the Oracle upon a forbidden Day: She having resisted him in vain, cried out, Alexander thou art invincible. I desire no other Oracle but this, reply’d he.

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10

Le même Alexandre, ètant à Delphes, entraina la Pretresse d’Apollon dans le Temple, pour lui faire consulter l’Oracle en un jour deffendu; Elle, s’écria, aprés lui avoir resisté en vain, Alexandre, tu ès invincible. Je ne veux point, dit-il, d’autre Oracle que celui-là.

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11

Leo the Bizantine, a Disciple of Plato, and a very famous Philosopher, going to meet Philip King of Macedon, who came with a great Army against his Country, told him, Sir, why do you come to attack our City; because, said Philip, I am in Love with her, and am come to enjoy her. Ah! Sir, reply’d Leo, Lovers don’t come to their Mistresses with Instruments of War, but of Musick. This agreeable and witty Repartee so pleased Philip that he changed his Resolution, and leaving Byzantium at liberty, passed on to other Conquests.

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11

Leon le Bizantin, Auditeur de Platon, & Philosophe fort fameux, ètant allé au devant de Philippe Roy de Macedoine qui venoit avec une grosse Armée attaquer sa Patrie, il lui dit, Seigneur, Pourquoy venez vous attaquer nôtre Ville? parce que j’en suis amoureux, dit Philippe, en raillant, & que je viens pour en jouir. Ah! Sire, reprit Leon, les Amans ne vont point chez leurs Maîtresses avec des instrumens de Guerre, mais avec des instrumens de Musique. Cette agréable & subtile réponse plût si sort à Philippe qu’il changea de resolution, & laissant Bizance en liberté, il passa à d’autres Conquetes.

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12

One asked Pythagoras why he had married his Daughter to one of his Enemies; because, answered that Philosopher, I thought I could do him no greater injury than give him a Wife.

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12

On demandoit a Pythagore, pourquoy il avoit marié sa Fille à un de ses Ennemis, ce Philosophe répondit, que c’estoit, parce qu’il croyait ne pouvoir lui faire un plus grand mal que de lui donner une Femme.

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13

Diogenes seeing an ill Marks-man drawing his Bow, he put himself just before the Mark, and being asked why he did so, because, said he, he’ll be sure not hit me there.

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13

Diogene voyant un Homme que tiroit de l’Arc, & qui en tiroit fort mal, se mit devant le but, on luy demanda, pourquoy il s’en mettoit si prés, c’est, répondit-il, afin qu’il ne me touche point.

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14

Alexander going to see Diogenes the Cynick, He found him in a Field basking himself in the Sun; and accosting him, followed by all his Court, he said to him, I am Alexander the Great: And I, answered the Philosopher, am Diogenes the Cynick. Alexander made him several offers, and asked him what he desired of him; nothing, said Diogenes, but only that you stand a little aside, and don’t hinder the Sun to shine upon me. The King surprized with his Manners, cried out were I not Alexander, I could be Diogenes.

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14

Alexandre allant voir Diogene le Cynique, il le trouva dans un champ expozé au Soleil, & l’abordant suivi de toute sa Cour, il luy dit, je suis le grand Alexandre; & moy, répondit le Philosophe, je suis Diogene le Cynique: Alexandre luy fit plusieurs offres, & luy demanda ce qu’il souhaitoit de lui? rien autre chose dit Diogene, si-non que tu te mettes un peu à côté, parce que tu empêches le Soleil de donner sur moy. Le Roy surpris de ces Manieres, s’êcria, si je n’ètois point Alexandre je voudrois être Diogene.

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Pompey being Sick of a Feaver, one of his Friends came to see him, and as he came into his Room, he spied a handsom Woman Slave, whom Pompey loved, going out, he asked Pompey how it was with him, the Feaver, said Pompey, left me but just now: Very like, reply’d his Friend, for I met her a going from you.

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Pompée ètant Malade de la Fievre, un de ses Amis le vint voir, & vit en entrant dans sa chambre une belle Escalve, dont Pompée ètoit amoureux, qui en sortoit: il demanda à Pompée comment il se portoit, la Fievre vient de me quitter, lui dit Pompée, je l’ai rencontrée qui sortoit de chez vous, lui dit son Ami.

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The Emperour Augustus endeavouring to find the reason of the great likeness which a young Grecian bore to him, asked him whether his Mother was ever at Rome: No, Sir, answered the Grecian, but my Father has many a time.

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L’Empereur Auguste cherchant des Raisons de la grande ressemblance qui ètoit entre lui & un jeune Homme Grec, lui demanda si sa Mere avoit jamais êté à Rome? Non, Seigneur, lui répondit le Grec, mais mon Pere y est venu plusieurs fois.

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Pisistrates, a Tyrant of Athens, having resolved to marry a second Wife, his Children asked him whether he did it out of any discontent he had received from them. On the contrary, answered he, I am so well pleased with you, and find you to be such fine Men, that I have a mind to have other Children like you.

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Pisistrate, Tyran d’Athenes, ayant resolu de se remarier, ses Enfans lui demanderent si c’ètoit à cause de quelque mécontentement qu’il eût receu d’eux. au contraire, leur répondit-il, je suis si content de vous, & je vous trouve si honnêtes Gens, que je veux avoir encore d’autres Enfans qui vous ressemblent.

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Thales the Milesian, one of the Seven Wise-men of Greece, being asked what was the oldest Thing? He answered, God, because he has been for ever; what was the handsomest Thing? he said, the World; because it is the Work of God; what the largest Thing? Place; because it comprehends every thing besides; what the most convenient? Hope; because when all other Things are lost that remains still; what the best Thing? Virtue; for without it nothing that is Good can be said or done; what the quickest? a Mans Thoughts; because in one Moment they run over all the Universe; what the strongest? Necessity; because it surmounts all other Accidents; what the easiest? to give Councel; what the hardest? to know ones self; what the wisest Thing? Time; because it brings all Things to pass.

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Thales Milesien, l’un des sept Sages de Grece, étant interrogé quelle étoit la chose la plus ancienne? répondit que c’étoit Dieu; parce qu’il a toûjours été; quelle étoit la chose la plus belle? il dit que c’étoit le Monde; parce que c’est l’ouvrage de Dieu? quelle étoit la chose la plus grande? le lieu; parce qu’il comprend toute autre chose; quelle chose étoit la plus Commode? l’Esperance; parce qu’aprés avoir perdu tous les autres biens, elle reste toûjours; quelle chose ètoit la Meilleure? la vertu; parce que sans elle, on ne peut rien dire, n’y rien faire de bon; quelle chose ètoit la plus promte? l’esprit de l’homme; parce qu’en un moment il parcourt tout l’Univers; quelle chose ètoit la plus forte? la Necessité; parce qu’elle surmonte tous les autres Accidens; quelle chose ètoit la plus facile? de donner conseil; quelle chose ètoit la plus difficile? de se connoître soy même; quelle chose ètoit la plus Sage? le temps, répondit-il, parce qu’il vient à bout de tout.

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A certain Soldier came in a great Fright to Leonidas and told him, Captain, the Enemy are very near us; then we are very near them too, said Leonidas. There was another that came to tell him that the Enemy were so numerous that one could hardly see the Sun for the quantity of their Arrows; to whom he answered very pleasantly, will it not be a great Pleasure to fight in the shade?

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Vn certain Soldat fort épouvanté, se presenta devant Leonidas, & luy dit, mon Capitaine les Ennemis sont fort prez de nous; & bien, nous sommes donc aussi fort prés d’eux, répondit Leonidas. Il y en eut un autre qui luy rapporta que le nombre des Ennemis ètoit si grand, qu’à grand peine pouvoit on voir le Soleil par la quantité de leurs dards; il luy répondit fort agréablement, ne sera-ce pas un grand plaisir de combatre à l’ombre?

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Alexander the Great asked Dionides, a famous Pirate, who was brought Prisoner to him, why he was so bold as to rob and plunder in his Seas, he answered, that he did it for his Profit, and as Alexander himself was used to do; but because I do it, added he, with one single Gally, I am called a Pirate: But you Sir, Who do it with a great Army are called a King. That bold Answer so pleased Alexander that he gave him his Liberty, at that very instant.

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Alexandre le grand demandoit â Dionides fameux Corsaire qui luy avoit été amené prisonnier, pour quelle raison il avoir été si hardy que de pirater & de faire des courses sur ses Mers; il répondit, que c’ètoit pour son profit, & comme Alexandre avoit coûtume de faire lui même, mais parce que je le fais, ajouta-til, avec une seule Galere, l’on m’appelle Corsaire; mais vous, Seigneur, qui le faites avec une grande Armée, l’on vous appelle Roy. Cette réponse hardie plût tant à Alexandre, qu’il lui donna aussi tôt la liberté.

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Darius King of Persia sent great Presents to Epaminondas, General of the Thebans, with design to tamper with him: If Darius, said this great Captain to those that brought those Presents to him, has a mind to be Friends with the Thebans, he need not buy my Friendship; and if he has other Thoughts, he has not Riches enough to corrupt me; and so he sent them back.

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Darius Roy de Perse, envoya de grands Presents à Epaminondas, Chef des Thebains, pour tâcher de le corrompre: Si Darius veut être Ami des Thebains, dit ce grand Capitaine à ceux qui les lui portoient, il n’est pas nécessaire qu’il achete mon amitié; & s’il a d’autres sentiments, il n’est pas assez riche pour me corrompre. Et ainsi il les renvoya.

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Corax promised Tisias to teach him Rhetorick, and Tisias on his side engaged to give him a Reward for it; but when he had learnt it, he refused to satisfy him: Corax therefore called him before the Judge; Tisias trusting to the subtilty of his Rhetorick, asked him what Rhetorick consisted in: Corax answered in the Art of Perswading. Then said Tisias, If I can perswade the Judge that I ought to give you nothing, I’ll pay you nothing, because you will be cast; and if I do not perswade them, I shan’t pay you neither; because I have not learnt how to perswade; therefore your best way is to relinquish your enterprize. But Corax, who was more subtle than he, resumed the Argument in this Manner, if you perswade the Judges you ought to pay me; because you have learnt Rhetorick; if you do not perswade them, you must pay me likewise, because you will be cast; so let it be how it will you ought to satisfy me.

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Corax promit à Tisias de luy enseigner la Rhétorique, & Tisias de son côté s’engagea de lui en payer le Salaire; mais l’ayant apprise, il ne vouloit point le satisfaire, c’est pourquoy Corax l’appella en justice. Tisias se fiant sur la subtilité de sa Rhétorique lui demanda, en quoy consistoit la Rhétorique: Corax repondit, qu’elle consistoit dans l’art de persuader. donc dit Tisias, si je persuade les juges, que je ne te dois rien donner, je ne te payeray aucune chose, parce que je gagneray le procez; & si je ne les persuade pas, je ne te payeray pas non plus, parce que je n’auray pas appris à persuader; ainsi tu feras mieux d’abandonner l’entreprise. Mais Corax qui ètoit plus fin que luy, reprit l’argument de cette maniere; si tu persuades les juges, tu me dois payer, parce que tu auras appris la Rhétorique, si tu ne les persuader pas, tu me dois payer de même; parce que tu perdras ton procez, ainsi de quelle façon que ce soit tu dois me satisfaire.

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Mecenas, Augustus’s Favourite, being entertained at Dinner by a Roman Knight, towards the end of the Meal, began to take some Liberties with his Wife; the Knight, to make his court to him, instead of shewing any jealousy of it, counterfeited Sleep; but seeing one of his Slaves going to take away something from the Cup board, Sirrah, says he, doest thou not see that I only sleep for Mecenas?

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Mécéne Favori d’Auguste, étant regalé par un Chevalier Romain, sur la fin du repas il commença à prendre quelque libertez avec sa Femme. le Chevalier pour lui faire sa Cour, au lieu d’en paroitre jaloux, fit semblant de dormir; mais voyant qu’un de ses Esclaves alloit emporter quelque chose du Buffet, Coquin, lui dit-il, ne vois tu pas que je ne dors que pour Mécéne?

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There was at Rome, in the Time of the Emperour Augustus, a poor Greek Poet who from time to time, when the Emperour went out of his Palace, presented him with a Greek Epigram; and though the Emperour took it, yet he never gave him any thing; on the contrary, having a mind one Day to ridicule him and shake him off, assoon as he saw him coming to present him with his Verses, the Emperour sent him a Greek Epigram of his own Composing, and writ with his own Hand. The Poet received it with joy, and as he was reading of it, he shewed by his Face and Gestures that he was mightily pleased with it. After he had read it, he pulled out his Purse, and coming up to Augustus, gave him some few Pence, saying, take this Money, Cesar, I give it you, not according to your great Fortune, but according to my poor Ability; had I more, my liberality would be greater. The whole company fell a laughing, and the Emperour more than the rest, who ordered him a hundred thousand Crowns.

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Il y avoit à Rome, du tems de l’Empereur Auguste, un pauvre Poëte Grec qui de temps en temps, lors que l’Empereur sortoit du Palais, lui presentoit une épigramme Grecque, mais quoy que l’Empereur la prit, il ne luy donnoit pourtant jamais rien; au contraire, voulant un jour se moquer de lui, & le congedier, lors qu’il le vit venir pour presenter ses Vers, l’Empereur lui envoya une épigramme en Grec de sa composition, & écrite de sa main; le Poëte la receut avec joye, la leut, & fit voir en la lisant par son Visage & par les gestes qu’elle lui plaisoit beaucoup: l’ayant leüe, il tira sa bourse, & s’approchant d’Auguste, il lui donna quelques Sols, lui disant, prenez cét argent Cesar, je vous le donne, non selon vôtre haute fortune, mais selon mon petit pouvoir, si j’en avois davantage ma liberalité seroit plus grande; tout le monde se mit à rire, l’Empereur lui même plus que les autres, & lui fit donner cent mille écus.

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Young Scipio was at four and twenty Years of Age a Man of consummate Wisdom; and altho his warlike Atchievements terrified his Enemies, yet he made still greater Conquests by his Virtue than by his Valour. For as they brought to him the Wife of Mando a Spanish Prince, with two of her Nieces extream Beautiful, he sent them back with these fine Words, That it not only became his own, and the Roman Peoples integrity not to violate any thing that’s Sacred; but besides the regard he had for them, obliged him to do them Justice; since in their Misfortune they had neither forgot themselves, nor their Honour. And having done the same to another Spanish Prince, whose Wife, (a Woman still more accomplisht in her Beauty than the other) had been presented to him, he sent her back to her Husband with a great Sum of Money which was offered him for her Ransom. This Prince highly pleased with this Favour, proclaimed through all the Land, That a God-like young Roman was come into Spain, who made himself Master of all not so much by the Power of his Arms, as of his Virtue and obliging Nature.

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Le jeune Scipion à l’âge de vingt quatre ans ètoit déja d’une Sagesse consommée: & quoy qu’il fit des Exploits d’Armes qui ètonnoient ses Ennemis, il fit encore de plus grandes Conquêtes par sa Vertu, que par sa Valeur. Car lors qu’on lui eût amené la Femme de Mandon, Prince Espagnol, & deux des ses Nieces d’une excellente Beauté, il les renvoya avec ces belles Paroles: Qu’outre qu’il ètoit de son integrité, & de celle du Peuple Romain de ne rien violer de saint, leur propre consideration l’obligeoit encore à leur faire justice: puis que dans leur malheur, elles ne s’ètoient pas oubliées d’elles, ni de leur Vertu. Et ayant fait la même chose à un autre Prince Espagnol, dont on lui avoit presentê la Femme, d’une Beauté encore plus accomplie que l’autre, il la renvoya à son mary avec une grande somme d’Argent qu’on lui offroit pour sa rançon. Ce Prince charmé de cette Grace publia dans le Païs, qu’il ètoit venu en Espagne un jeune Romain semblable aux Dieux, qui se rendoit Maître de tout, moins par la force de ses Armes que par celle de sa Vertu & de son humeur bienfaisante.

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The same Scipio being accused before the Roman People, by Q. Petilius, for embezling part of the Spoils of King Antiochus, he made his appearance at the Day appointed by his Accuser. But this great Man no less admirable by his Virtue than by his Courage, instead of clearing himself from the Charge, and proud of his own Innocence, he made a Speech to the People assembled to condemn him, and told them with a bold and undaunted Look, and the Tone of a Conquerour, ’Twas upon such a day as this is I took Carthage, defeated Hannibal, and vanquished the Carthaginians; let’s march to the Capitol, and return the Gods Thanks for it. The People surprised by this Magnanimity left the Informer, followed Scipio, and that Day got him a thousand times more Honour than that on which he triumphed over King Siphax, and the Carthaginians.

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Le même Scipion ètant accusé devant le Peuple Romain par Q. Petilius, d’avoir distrait une partie des depouilles du Roy Antiochus à son profit, parut au jour marqué par son Accusateur. Mais ce grand Homme, admirable par sa vertu & par sa valeur, au lieu de se justifier de ce qu’on l’accusoit, fier qu’il ètoit de son innocence, parlant au Peuple assemblé pour le condamner, dit d’un air hardi & intrepide, & d’un ton de vainqueur. C’est à tel jour qu’aujourd’huy, que j’ay pris Carthage, que j’ay défait Hannibal, & vaincu les Carthaginois, allons au Capitole en remercier les Dieux. Le Peuple surpris de cette Magnanimité, quitta l’accusateur, suivit Scipion, & ce jour lui fut mille fois plus glorieux, que celui auquel il triompha du Roy Siphax, & des Carthaginois.

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Plato invited one Day to Supper Diogenes the Cynick with some Sicilians his Friends, and caused the Banqueting Room to be adorned, out of respect to those Strangers. Diogenes who was displeased with the finery of Plato, began to trample upon the Carpets and other Goods, and said very brutishly, I trample upon the Pride of Plato: But Plato answered wisely, True, Diogenes, but you trample upon it through a greater Pride.

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Platon invita un jour à souper Diogene le Cynique avec quelques Siciliens de ses Amis, & fit orner la sale du Banquet pour faire honneur à ces Etrangers. Diogene qui ne pouvoit souffrir la propreté de Platon, commenta à fouler aux Pieds les Tapis & les autres meubles, & dit fort brutalement: je foule aux Pieds l’orgueil de Platon: & Platon lui répondit sagement, il est vray, Diogene, mais vous le foulez par un plus grand orgueil.

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Cineas was in great Honour with Pyrrhus King of Epirus, who made use of him in all his weighty Affairs, and profest that he had won more Cities by the Charms of his Eloquence, than he had taken himself by the strength of his own Arms. He perceiving the King earnestly bent upon his Expedition into Italy, told him in private, Sir, the Romans have the Reputation of a Warlike People, and command divers Nations that are so, but suppose we overcome them, What Fruit shall we reap by the Victory? That’s a plain thing, said Pyrrhus; for then added he, No City will presume to oppose us, and we shall speedily be Masters of all Italy. And having made Italy our own, return’d Cineas, what shall we then do? Sicily, said he, is near, reaching out her Hand to us, a rich and populous Island, and easily to be taken. It is probable, said Cineas; but having subdued Sicily, will that put an end to the War? If God, said Pyrrhus gives us this success, these will be but the Flourish to greater Matters; for who can refrain from Africa and Carthage, which will be soon at our beck? And these overcome, you will easily grant that none of those that now provoke us, will dare to resist us: That’s true, said Cineas; for ’its easiy to believe that with such Forces we may recover Macedon, and give Law to all Greece. But being thus become Lords of all, what then? Then dear Cineas, said Pyrrhus smiling, we will live at our ease, and enjoy our selves. When Cineas had brought him thus far; and what hinders, replied he, but that we may now do all this, seeing it is in our Power, without the expence of so much sweat and Blood?

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Cineas ètoit en grande estime auprès de Phyrrus Roy d’Epire qui se servoit de lui dans toutes ses Affaires importantes, & avoüoit qu’il avoit gagné plus de Villes par les charmes de son Eloquence, qu’il n’en avoit pris lui même par la force de ses Armes. Comme il vit que le Roy avoit tourne toutes ses Pensées vers l’expedition d’Italie, il lui dit un jour en particulier: Sire, les Romains passant pour un Peuple Guerrier, & commandent à plusieurs Nations qui le sont aussi, mais supposé, que nous les vainquions, quel fruit retirerons nous de cette Victoire? La chose parle d’elle même, dit Phyrrus, car alors, ajoûta-t-il, aucune Ville n’osera nous resister & nous serons bien-tôt Maîtres de toute l’Italie. Et quand nous aurons l’Italie, repliqua Cineas, que ferons nous alors? La Sicile, dit-il, est prés & nous tend les Bras: Isle riche & peuplée qui sera facilement reduite: il y a quelque apparence, dit Cineas; mais aprés avoir subjugué la Sicile, cela mettra t-il fin à la Guerre? Si Dieu, dit Phyrrus, nous donne ce bon succez, ce ne seront que les Preludes de plus grandes choses; car comment s’empêcher de passer en Afrique & d’aller à Carthage, qui sera bien tôt à nôtre commandement? Et étant venus à bout de tout ceci vous m’avoüerez aisement qu’aucun de ceux qui nous bravent maintenant, n’osera nous resister. Cela est vray, dit Cineas; car il est assez croyable qu’avec de telles Forces nous pourrons recouvrer la Macedoine, & faire la loy à toute la Grece. Mais aprés nous être ainsi rendus Maîtres de tout, que ferons nous alors? Alors, cher Cineas, lui dit Phyrrus, d’un air gay, nous vivrons à nôtre aise, & nous nous donnerons du bon tems. Cineas l’ayant fait venir là, & à quoi tient-il, repliqua-t-il, que nous ne le fassions dés à present puis que cela depend de nous sans tant de sang & de peine?

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Chilo said, one ought to be young in his old Age, and old in his youth; that is, an old Man ought to be Chearful and Good-humour’d, and a young Man Wise.

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Chilon disoit, il faut être jeune en sa vieillesse, & vieux en sa jeunesse; c’est-à dire qu’un vieillard doit être sans chagrin, & qu’un jeune homme doit être sage.

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Artaxerxes being routed in a Battle, and put to flight, after his Baggage and Provisions had been plundered, he found himself so prest with Hunger, that he was reduced to eat a piece of Barly Bread, and some dry Figs. He relished them so well, that he cried out. O Gods! how many Pleasures has Plenty deprived me of till this instant?

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Artaxerces, dans un combat, ayant été obligé de prendre la fuite aprés que son bagage & ses Provisions eurent été pillées, il se trouva si fort pressé de la faim qu’il fut reduit à manger un morceau de pain d’orge & quelques figues seches. Elles lui parurent de si bon goût qu’il s’écria: O Dieux! de combien de plaisirs l’abondance m’a-t-elle privé jusqu’ à ce moment.

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Those of Cyrene desired Plato to make Laws for them, I cannot, said he, dictate Laws to those whom Plenty and Prosperity has made incapable to obey.

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Ceux de Cyrene priérent Platon de leur dresser des Loix; je ne puis, leur dit-il, prescrire des Loix à ceux que l’abondance & la prosperité rendent incapables d’obeir.

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Archidamus besieging Corinth, saw a great many Hares starting from under its Walls: Then turning presently to his Soldiers, These my Friends, said he, are the Enemies we are to fight withal, we ought to be more afraid of their Heels than of their Hands.

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Archidamus, assiegeant Corinthe, vit sortir plusieurs Liévres de dessous ses murs: aussi-tôt se tournant vers ses Soldats: Voilà, dit-il, Compagnons, les Ennemis que nous avons à combattre, nous devons plus craindre leurs pieds que leurs bras.

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Julius Cesar landing on the Shore of Africa, happened to get a fall as he went out of the Ship. This fall which seemed to be an ill Omen for his Design upon that Country, was by his ready Wit turned into a lucky Presage; for as he fell he embraced the Earth, and cried, Now I hold thee Africa.

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Jules Cesar qui abordoit au rivage d’Affrique tomba en descendant du vaisseau: cette chûte qui sembloit de mauvais augure pour les desseins qu’il avoit sur ce Païs, fut par son adresse changée en un présage heureux; il embrassa la Terre en tombant, & il s’écria; c’est à present, Afrique, que je te tiens.

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Timotheus being accounted lucky in his Undertakings, was by some envious Persons drawn with a Net in his Hand, into which Cities fell of their own accord while he was asleep. Timotheus without expressing the least discontent upon it, said to those who shewed him that Picture, If I take such fine Cities while I am asleep, what shall I do when I am awake?

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Timotheus, qui ètoit estimé heureux dans ses entreprises, fut par quelques envieux representé avec des filets en main, où les Villes venoient se jetter pendant qu’il dormoit; Timotheus, sans en temoigner le moindre chagrin, dit à ceux qui lui montroient cette Peinture: Si je prens de si belles Villes en dormant, que ferai je quand je serai èveillé?

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Sylla who robbed the Temples to pay his Soldiers, was told that as they were going to plunder that of Apollo at Delphos, a noise of some Instruments was heard there; so much the better, answered he, for since Apollo plays on his Lyre, ’tis a sign he is pleased, and is not angry with us.

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Sylla qui dépoüilloit les Temples pour payer ses Soldats, fut averti que comme on alloit piller celui d’Apollon à Delphes, on y avoit oüy le son de quelques Instrumens, Tant mieux, répondit-il, puisqu’ Apollon jouë de sa Lyre, c’est une marque qu’il est de belle humeur, & qu’il n’est point irrité contre nous.

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Alexander’s Generals complained to him just before the Battle of Arbella, that his Soldiers had been so insolent, as to demand a Promise that the whole Booty should be theirs: Come on, said he, that’s a sign of Victory; those that speak with so much assurance do not design to run away.

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Les Capitaines d’Alexandre se plaignirent à la journée d’Arbelles, que ses Soldats avoient l’insolence de vouloir qu’on leur promît tout le butin: Courage, leur dit-il, c’est un presage de la victoire: quand on parle avec cette asseurance là, on n’a pas envie de fuir.

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Diogenes came to Cheronea when Philip his Army was there; he was taken by the Soldiers and carried before the King, who not knowing him, told him that without doubt he was a Spy, and came to observe him. Thou sayest right, answered Diogenes, for I came hither to observe thy Folly, in that not being contented with the Kingdom of Macedon, thou seekest at the hazard of thy Dominions, to Usurpe the Province of thy Neighbours. The King admiring the boldness of this Man, commanded him to be set at Liberty.

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Diogene vint à Cheronée lorsque l’armée de Philippe y étoit; il fut pris par ses Soldats, & conduit au Roi qui ne le connoissant pas, lui dit que sans doute il étoit un Espion, qui venoit pour l’observer: Tu as raison, repondit Diogene, car je suis venu en ce lieu pour observer ta folie, qui fait que non content du Royaume de Macedoine, tu cherches, au peril de ta vie, & de tes Etats, à usurper les Provinces de tes voisins. Le Roy admirant la hardiesse de cét homme commanda qu’on le mît en liberté.

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Julius Cesar going through a little Village, some of his Friends took notice of the Tranquility of the Inhabitants, and asked him whether he thought there was any great canvassing and interest made for the Magistracy: I had rather, answered Cesar, be the first Man in this Village, than the second at Rome.

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Jules Cesar passant dans un petit bourg, quelques uns de ses amis qui remarquoient la tranquilité des habitans, lui demanderent, s’il croyoit qu’il y eût là de grandes brigues pour le gouvernement: J’aimerois mieux, répondit Cesar, être le premier dans ce village, que d’étre le second à Rome.

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Darius’s Mother, then Prisoner of Alexander, excusing her self to him, for that in one visit wherewith he honoured her, she by a mistake, had paid to Ephestion, who accompained him, the Respect due to the King: said Alexander comforting her, be not concerned at it, Madam, you were not mistaken, for he whom you saluted is another Alexander.

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La Mere de Darius prisonniere d’Alexandre, lui faisant ses excuses de ce qu’en une visite dont il l’honora, elle avoit par meprise rendu à Ephestion, qui l’accompagnoit, les respects dûs à ce Roy: Alexandre, lui dit en la rasseurant, ne vous troublez point, Madame, vous ne vous êtes pas trompée celui que vous avez salué est un autre Alexandre.

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Chilo, one of the seven wise Men of Grece, to give us to understand, that one ought to be moderate and cautious in ones Affections, said, We must love a Friend so as we may one Day hate him; and we must hate no Body but with a regard that we may afterwards unite Friendship with him.

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Chilon un des sept Sages de la Grece, pour nous faire entendre qu’il falloit être moderé & prudent dans ses affections, disoit: Il faut aimer un ami comme le pouvant haïr quelque jour, & il ne faut haïr personne, qu’en vüe qu’on peut ensuite noüer amitié avec lui.

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41

One comforting King Philip upon the Death of Hipparchus, told him, that his Friend being stricken in Years, Death was not come upon him before his time; True, said Philip, Death is come in time for him; but since I had not yet honoured him with Benefits worthy of our Friendship, his Death, as to me, is untimely.

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41

Quelqu’un consolant le Roi Philippe de la mort d’Hypparchus, lui disoit que cét ami étant déjà fort âgé, la mort ne l’avoit point attaqué avant le temps. Il est vray, répondit Philippe, que la mort est venuë à temps pour lui, mais puisque je ne l’avois pas encore honnoré des Biens faits dignes de nôtre amitié, sa mort, à mon ègard, est premature.

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42

A Criminal sentenced to Death, was bailed out of Prison by one of his Friends, who remained Prisoner till the other had settled some Business, which assoon as he had done he surrendred himself again; Dionysius the Tyrant surprized at the Assurance of the one, and the Faithfulness of the other, pardoned the Malefactor: And in requital of my Pardon, said he, I beseech you to admit me as a third into your Friendship.

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42

Un Criminel condamné à la Mort, sur le cautionnement d’un de ses Amis qui demeura en sa place sortit de Prison pour aller regler quelques Affaires, & revint aussi-tôt qu’il les eût achevées: Denis le Tyran surpris de l’asseurance de l’un, & de la fidelité de l’autre, pardonna au Criminel: En reconnoissance, dit-il, de ma grace, je vous conjure de me recevoir pour troisiéme en vôtre amitié.

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43

Memnon King Darius’s General, in his War against Alexander, hearing one of his Soldiers belch out many injurious Words against that great Enemy, he gave him a great blow with a Halbert, and told him, I pay thee to fight against Alexander, and not to abuse him.

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43

Memnon Capitaine de Darius, dans la Guerre qu’il avoit contre Alexandre, entendant un de ses Soldats vomir insolemment beaucoup d’injures contre ce grand Ennemi, il lui donna un grand coup de Hallebarde; en lui disant, je te paye afin que tu combattes contre Alexandre, non pas afin que tu l’injuries.

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44

The Physician of Pyrrhus having offered to Fabricius, the Roman General, to Poison his Master, Fabricius sent back that Traitor’s Letter to Pyrrhus, with these Words, Prince, know better for the future, how to choose both your Friends and Foes. To requite this Benefit, Pyrrhus sent back all the Prisoners: But Fabricius received them only upon Condition that he would accept of as many of his, and writ to him: Do not believe Pyrrhus, I have discovered this Treachery to you, out of a particular regard to your Person, but because the Romans shun base Stratagems, and will not triumph but with open Force.

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44

Le Medecin de Phyrrus s’ètant offert à Fabricius general des Romains, d’empoisonner son Maître, Fabricius renvoya la lettre de ce Traitre à Phyrrus avec ces Mots; Prince, songez à l’avenir à faire un meilleur choix de vos Amis, & de vos Ennemis. En reconnoissance de ce bienfait, Phyrrus lui renvoya tous les Prisonniers: Mais Fabricius ne les reçût qu’à la charge de lui en rendre autant des siens, & lui manda: Ne crois pas, Phyrrus, que je t’aye decouvert cette Trahison, par une consideration particuliere de ta Personne, mais parce que les Romains fuyent les lâches Artifices, & ne veulent triompher qu’à force ouverte.

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45

Diogenes being asked of what Beast the biting was most dangerous, answered, if you mean wild Beasts, ’tis the Slanderer’s, if tame one’s, the Flatterer’s.

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45

Diogene interrogé quelle Bête mordoit le plus dangereusement, répondit: Si vous parlez des Bêtes farouches, c’est le medisant; si des animaux domestiques, c’est le flateur.

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46

Antigonus hearing a Poet call him Son of Jupiter; My Valet de Chamber, said he smiling, who empties my Close-stool, knows but too well that I am but a Man.

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46

Antigonus entendant un Poëte flateur l’appeller Fils de Jupiter: Mon Valet de chambre, dit-il en soûriant, qui vuide ma chaise percée sçait trop bien que je ne suis qu’un Homme.

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47

Whereas Kings are surrounded with Flatterers, and that Horses have no particular regard for them, Carneades used to say, That Princes learn nothing well, but to ride on Horseback.

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47

Comme les Rois sont environnez de Flateurs, & que les seuls Chevaux ne gardent point avec eux de mesures, Carneades disoit: que les Princes n’apprennent rien comme il faut qu’à bien manier un Cheval.

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48

Sesostris King of Ægypt, having caused four of his Captive Kings, instead of Horses, to draw his Triumphal Chariot, one of these four cast his Eyes contiually upon the two foremost Wheels next him, which Sesostris observing, ask’d him what he found worthy of his Admiration in that Motion; to whom the Captive King answer’d, That in those Wheels he beheld the mutability of all worldly Things; for that the lowest part of the Wheel was suddenly carried above and became the highest, and the uppermost part was as suddenly turned downwards; which when Sesostris had judiciosly weighed, he dismist those Kings from their Servitude.

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48

Sesostris Roy d’Egypte, ayant fait tirer son char de Triomphe par quatre Rois Captifs, au lieu de Chevaux, un d’eux tenoit la veuë attachée sur les Roües de devant qui ètoient prés de lui, ce que Sesostris remarquant, il lui demanda ce qu’il trouvoit digne d’admiration dans ce mouvement. A quoi le Roy Captif répondit: je contemple dans ces Roües l’inconstance des choses humaines, d’autant que la partie la plus basse de la rouë est tout d’un coup portée en haut, & devient la plus élevée; & la plus haute est portée en bas avec autant de vitesse; Sesostris ayant meurement reflechi là dessus, mit ces Rois en liberté.

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49

Some Body twitting Hiero the Tyrant with a stinking Breath, he chid his Wife for not telling him of it before: I thought, answered she, all Mens Breaths smelled like yours.

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49

On reprocha au Tiran Hieron qu’il avoit l’haleine puante, il reprit sa Femme de ne l’en avoir jamais averti; Je croyois, répondit-elle, que tous les Hommes eussent l’haleine de même odeur que vous.

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50

One asked Charillus, why at Lacedemon Maids went bare-faced, when Married Women were vailed: Because, answered he, the first look for Husbands, and the others are afraid to lose them by Jealousie and Divorce,

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50

On demandoit à Charillus pourquoi à Lacedemone les Filles marchoient le visage decouvert, veu que les Femmes ètoient voilées, c’est répondit il: parce que les unes cherchent un mari, & que les autres ont peur de le perdre par la jalousie & par le divorce.

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51

Diogenes seeing over the Door of a new Married Man, these written Words, Hence all Evil; said he, After Death the Physician. The same Philosopher perceiving one Day some Women hanged on an Olive-tree: Would to God, cried he, all other Trees bore the like Fruit.

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51

Diogene voyant sur la porte d’un nouveau marié ces Mots écrits, loin d’ici le Mal, il dit, Aprés la Mort le Medecin. Le même Philosophe apperceût un jour des Femmes penduës à un Olivier: Plût à Dieu, s’écria-t-il, que tous les autres Arbres portassent un semblable fruit!

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52

Paulus Æmilius divorced a Wife, who seemed to be Mistress of all the Qualifications necessary to make her beloved. This Divorcement surprized a great many; but he told them, shewing them his Shoe, You see that this Shoe fits me, and is well made, but you don’t see where it wrings me.

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52

Paulus Æmilius repudia une Femme qui paroissoit avoir tous les avantages capables de se faire aimer. Ce divorce ètonnoit bien des Gens, mais il leur dit en montrant son Soulier: Vous voyez que ce Soulier est propre, qu’il est bien fait: mais vous ne voyez pas où il blesse.

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53

Diogenes said to a young hare-brained Fellow, that threw Stones at a Gibbet; Well, I see thou’lt touch the mark at last.

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53

Diogene dit à un jeune étourdi qui jettoit des Pierres vers un Gibet: Courage, je vois bien qu’enfin tu toucheras au but.

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54

C. Popilius, who, as Ignorant as he was, set up for a Lawyer, being one Day summoned to be a Witness, answered he knew nothing: You think, perhaps, said Cicero to him, that you are asked Questions about Law.

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54

C. Popilius qui tout ignorant qu’il ètoit s’érigeoit en Jurisconsulte, ètant un jour appellé en témoignage, répondit qu’il ne savoit rien: Vous pensez peut être, lui dit Ciceron, qu’on vous Interroge sur des questions de Droit?

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55

Melanthus, a Parasite of Alexander King of Pheres, being asked how his Master died, made this pleasant Answer: he died by a Sword that run through his Thigh, and my Belly at once.

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55

Melanthus Parasite d’Alexandre, Roy de Pheres, interrogé comment son Maître ètoit Mort, répondit plaisamment: Il est mort d’un coup d’Epée qui lui perça la cuisse & mon ventre en même tems.

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56

Plato, said, that Hopes are the Dreams of those that are awake.

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56

Platon disoit, que les Esperances sont les songes des Personnes éveillées.

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57

As two Men courted Themistocles’s Daughter in Marriage, one of which was a Fool, but rich, the other Poor, but wise and honest; he chose this last for his Son-in-law, and answered to those who wondred at it: I esteem more a Man without Riches, than Riches without a Man.

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57

De deux hommes qui recherchoient la Fille de Themistocles, l’un sot, mais riche: l’autre pauvre, mais sage & honnête homme, il prit ce dernier pour son gendre, & répondit à ceux qui s’en ètonnoient: J’aime mieux un Homme sans richesses, que des richesses sans Homme.

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58

Alexander the Great, took in the Wars a certain Indian, who had such a skill in Shooting, that he could pass his Arrows through a Ring placed at a certain distance. He commanded him to make a trial of it before him; and because the Indian refused, he ordered he should be slain. Those that led him to his Punishment enquiring into the Reason of his refusal, the Indian answered, Having for a long time left off the Exercise of my Art, I chuse to suffer Death rather than to venture the loss of my Reputation, if I should miss before Alexander: Which being told again to that Emperour, he not only commanded he should be set at Liberty, but also gave him many Gifts, admiring his great Spirit and Resolution.

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58

Alexandre le grand prit en Guerre un Indien, si adroit à tirer de l’Arc, qu’il faisoit passer ses Flêches par un anneau placé à une certaine distance, il lui commanda d’en faire l’essai devant lui, & sur le refus qu’en fit l’Indien, il ordonna qu’on le fit mourir. Ceux qui le conduisoient au supplice, s’informant du sujet de son refus, l’Indien repondit: Comme j’ai été long tems sans exercer mon art, j’ai mieux aimé souffrir la Mort, que de m’exposer à perdre ma Reputation, en manquant devant Alexandre. Ce qui ètant rapporté à cet Empereur, non seulement il le fit mettre en liberté, mais même il lui fit de grands Presents, admirant son courage & sa fermeté.

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59

The Favourites of the Emperour Trajan, taking notice that he received every Body with great Familiarity, told him he forgot the grandeur of his Majesty: I will take care, answered he, That my People shall find in me such an Emperour as I could wish to have one my self, if I was a private Man.

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59

Les Favoris de l’Empereur Trajan le voyant recevoir tout le monde fort familierement, lui remontroient qu’il oublioit la grandeur de sa Majesté: je veux, répondit-il, que mon Peuple trouve en moy un Empereur, tel que je souhaiterois en avoir un si j’étois Homme privé.

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60

Agathocles from a mean Fortune, being advanced to the Royal Dignity, would be served at Table with Earthen-ware, and being asked the reason: I intend, answered he, that the remembrance of my Extraction from a Potter, shall check that Pride which the vain Pomp of Royalty may raise in me.

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60

Agathocles ètant parvenu de bas lieu â la dignité Royalle, vouloit qu’on le servit à Table en Vaisselle de Terre, & quand on lui en demandoit la cause: je veux, répondit-il, que le souvenir de l’Origine que je tire d’un Potier de Terre, rabatte l’orgueil, dont le vain appareil de la Royauté pourroit me surprendre.

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61

Alexander sitting on the Judgment Seat to decide Criminal Causes, kept always one of his Ears stopt, while the Accuser was pleading; and being asked the reason: I keep, said he, the other Ear entire to hear the Party accused.

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61

Alexandre ètant assis sur le Tribunal pour juger les Causes criminelles, tenoit toûjours une Oreille bouchée pendant que l’Accusateur plaidoit, & comme on lui en demandoit la raison, je reserve, dit-il, l’autre Oreille entiere pour entendre l’Accusé.

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62

King Philip being drowsy, and not having well heard the Cause of Machetes, cast him contrary to the Laws: Machetes cryed out presently that he appealed; the King in a Passion asked him to what Judge? I appeal, said he, from Philip asleep, to Philip awake. This reply made Philip recollect himself, and ordered the Cause to be tried over again, who acknowledging his Errour, he did not revoke his Sentence, but paid out of his own Pocket the Sum which he had adjudged Machetes to pay.

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62

Le Roy Philippe assoupi, ayant mal entendu la cause de Machetes, il le condamna contre les Loix; Machetes s’écria aussi-tôt qu’il en appelloit. Le Roy en colere lui demanda à quel Juge? j’en appelle, répondit-il, de Philippe endormi, à Philippe éveillé. Ce Mot fit rentrer Philippe en lui même; il fit derechef plaider la cause, & voyant en effet son erreur, il ne cassa pas à la verité son arrest, mais il paya lui même de ses deniers la somme à laquelle il avoit condamné Machetes.

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63

Two Criminals accused one another before the same King: This Prince having patiently heard them both, said, I condemn this Fellow presently to depart my Kingdom, and the other to run after him.

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63

Deux Criminels s’accusoient l’un l’autre devant ce même Roy: Ce Prince aprés les avoir écoutez patiemment, dit: je condamne celui ci à sortir promptement de mon Royaume, & l’autre à courir aprés.

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64

In the Tryal of a Cause, whereof Aristides was Judge, one of the Parties related several Abuses which the same Aristides had received from his adverse Party: Let that pass, said Aristides, I am not here to be my own Judge, but yours only.

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64

Dans une cause où Aristide ètoit juge, une des Parties rapporta plusieurs injures que ce même Aristide avoit receu de sa partie adverse: Passez cela, dit Aristide, venez au fait: je ne suis pas ici mon juge, je ne suis que le vôtre.

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65

Marcus Aurelius said to some Persons who would keep his Son from weeping for his Tutors death; Suffer my Son to be a Man before he be an Emperour.

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65

Marc Aurele dit à quelques Personnes qui vouloient empêcher son Fils de pleurer la Mort de son Precepteur: Souffrez que mon Fils soit Homme, avant que d’être Empereur.

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66

Dionysius seeing that his Son had gathered a great quantity of Gold and Silver Vessels, out of the Gifts he had made him, told him: I do not find in thee a Royal Soul, since thou hast neglected to get thy self Friends by the distribution of those Riches.

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66

Denys voyant que son Fils avoit amassé une grande quantité de Vases d’Or & d’Argent des dons qu’il lui avoit fait, il lui dit, je ne connois point en toi une Ame Royale, puis que tu as negligé de te faire des amis par la distribution de ces Richesses.

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67

The same Dionysius asked Diogenes what Brass he should take to make himself a Statue: Take that, answered he, of the Statues of Harmodius and Aristogiton. These were two famous Murderers of Tyrants, to whom Statues had been erected.

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67

Le même Denys demanda à Diogene quel Cuivre il prendroit pour se faire une Statuë: Prenez, lui répondit-il, celui des Statuës d’Harmodius & d’Aristogiton. C’ètoient deux fameux tueurs de Tyrans à qui on avoit dressé des Statues.

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68

An old Soldier having a Sute at Law depending, desired the Emperour Augustus to come and support him with his Interest: This Prince gave him one of his Attendance to take care of his Business; whereupon the Soldier was so bold as to tell him: Sir, I did not use you the same way; for when you was in danger at the Battel of Actium, I my self fought for you without a Deputy.

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68

Un ancien Soldat ayant un procez à soûtenir, pria l’Empereur Auguste de le venir secourir de son credit. Ce Prince lui donna un de ceux qui l’accompagnoient pour avoir soin de son affaire; là dessus le Soldat fut assez osé pour lui dire: Seigneur, je n’en ai pas usé de la sorte à vôtre égard: quand vous ètiez en danger dans la Bataille d’Actium, moi-même, sans chercher de Substitut, j’ay combatu pour vous.

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69

The Poet Simonides asked of Themistocles something contrary to the Laws; he dismist him with these Words: If in thy Poems thou shouldest make Verses without Measures, wouldest thou be accounted a good Poet? And if I should do Things contrary to the Constitution of the Laws, should I be accounted a good Prince?

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69

Le Poëte Simonide demandant à Themistocle quelque chose de contraire aux Loix, il le renvoya avec ce Mot: si dans tes Poemes tu faisois des Vers contre la mesure, passerois tu pour un bon Poëte? Et si je faisois des choses contraires à la disposition des Loix, devroit on m’estimer un bon Prince?

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70

The Ambassadours the Athenians had sent to Philip, being returned to Athens, commended that Prince for his Beauty and Eloquence, and his being able to drink much: These Commendations, said Demosthenes, are little worthy of a King; the first of those advantages is proper to Women, the second to Rhetoricians, and the third to Spunges.

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70

Les Ambassadeurs que les Atheniens avoit envoyé vers Philippe, ètant retournez à Athenes, loüoient ce Prince de sa beauté, de son Eloquence, & de sa force à boire beaucoup: Ces loüanges, répondit Demosthene, sont fort peu dignes d’un Roy; le premier avantage est propre aux Femmes, le second aux Rhetoriciens, & le troisiéme aux êponges.

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71

Bion being asked whether one should marry a Wife, answered, if you marry an ugly one, you’ll marry a torment; if you take a handsom one, you’ll have a common Woman.

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71

Bion interrogé s’il falloit épouser une Femme, répondit. si vous en prenez une laide, vous épouserez un supplîce; si vous en prenez une belle vous aurez une Femme publique.

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72

Hipparchia being desperately in love with Crates the Philosopher, courted him for a Husband, and neither her Relations, nor that Philosopher himself could disswade her from it: But, said Crates to her, do you know what you are in love with? I will be plain with you; Here is your Husband, said he, pulling off his Cloak; then throwing off his Bag and his Stick: Here is, added he, shewing his crooked-back, my Wife’s Jointure; see whether you are contented with it, and whether you can like this way of living. She accepted of all those Conditions, and so he married her.

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72

Hipparchia éperduëment amoureuse du Philosophe Crates, le rechercha en mariage, sans qui ni les Parens, ni ce Philosophe même, pussent la detourner de sa poursuite. Mais, lui dit Crates, connoissez vous bien ce que vous aimez? je ne veux rien vous cacher, voilà l’Epoux, dit-il ôtant son manteau; puis jettant son sac & son baton; voilà, ajoûta-t-il en montrant sa bosse, le Doüaire de ma Femme: Voyez si vous en êtes contente, & si vous pouvez vous accommoder de cette façon de Vie. Elle accepta toutes ces conditions là, & il l’épousa.

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73

The Hebrews say that when a Man takes a Wife, he must go down a Step; and that to make a Friend, he ought to go up one; because the one must protect us, and the other be obedient to her Husband.

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73

Les Hebreux disent que pour prendre une Femme, il faut descendre un degré; & que pour faire un ami il faut en monter un; parce qu’il faut que l’un nous protege, & que l’autre obeïsse à son mari.

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74

A cowardly and unskilful Wrestler being turned Physician, Diogenes told him: What! have you a mind to lay on the Ground those who used to fling you down?

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74

Un Lâche & mal à droit Luitteur s’ètant fait Medecin, Diogene lui-dit: Hé quoi! vous avez donc envie de coucher par Terre ceux qui vous ont renversé?

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75

Alcibiades cut off the Tail of his Dog, which was extraordinary fine, and of great value; and as the People who saw that Dog go about the Streets without a Tail, wondered at the oddness of the thing, he said: I have done it with design that the People talking about this Trifle, may not censure my more important Actions.

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75

Alcibiade coupa la queuë à son Chien, qui ètoit d’une beauté & d’un prix extraordinaire, & comme le Peuple qui voyoit ce Chien marcher en cét état dans les Ruës, s’ètonnoit de cette Bizarrerie, il dit, je l’ai fait afin que le Peuple s’entretenant de cette Bagatelle, ne s’arrête point à controller mes autres Actions plus importantes.

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76

Smicythus accused Nicanor of speaking ill of Philip. This Prince who had an esteem for Nicanor, sent for him, and understanding that he was provoked by the Kings not relieving his extream Indigence, he ordered him a Sum of Money. Some time after Smicythus relating to Philip how Nicanor proclaimed his Bounty every where: Well, said he to him, you see we are Masters of our own Reputation, and that we may turn Calumnies into Commendations.

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76

Smicythus accusa Nicanor de parler mal de Philippe. Ce Prince, qui avoit quelque estime pour Nicanor le fit venir, & ayant appris qu’il ètoit indigné de ce que le Roy ne songeoit point à soulager son extreme indigence, il lui fit distribüer quelque somme. Peu de tems aprés Smicythus rapportant à Philippe que Nicanor publioit par tout ses bontez: Hé bien, lui dit-il, vous voyez que nous sommes Maîtres de nôtre Reputation, & que nous pouvons changer toutes les Calomnies en Loüanges.

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77

As one asked Zeno whether wise men ought not to love: If wise men did not love, answered he, nothing in the World could be so wretched as the Fair, since none but Fools should be in Love with them.

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77

Comme on demandoit à Zenon si les Sages ne devoient point aimer: si les Sages n’aimoient point, répondit-il, il n’y auroit rien au monde de plus malheureux que les belles, elles ne seroient aimées que des sots.

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78

One of Agesilaus his Friends having found him playing with his Children, and riding on a Hobby-horse, seemed to be surprized at it; but the King told him: Pray tell no Body what thou seest till thou hast Children of thy own.

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78

Agesilaüs pour joüer avec ses enfans marchoit à califourchons sur un bâton; un de ses Amis le trouvant en cét état témoigna de la surprise; mais ce Roi, lui dit: je te prie de ne rien dire à personne de ce que tu vois, jusques à ce que tu ayes des Enfans.

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79

Philip King of Macedon, designing to make himself Master of a Cittadel, was told by his Spies that the thing was impossible, by reason that there was no way to come at it. Is the way so difficult, asked the King, that a Mule laden with Gold and Silver cannot go to it? and being answered no, then, replied he, it is not impregnable.

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79

Philippe Roi de Macedoine ayant resolu de prendre une Citadelle, les espions lui rapporterent que cela ne se pouvoit pas, parce qu’elle étoit inaccessible. Le chemin, demanda-t-il, est il si difficile qu’on n’y puisse faire entrer un mulet chargé d’Or & d’Argent? & comme ils lui répondirent que non, elle n’est donc pas imprenable, repliqua-t-il.

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80

The Night before Darius dispos’d his Troops to the fight, Alexander was in so profound a sleep, that it lasted still several Hours after Sun-rise; his Men frighted at the approach of the Enemies Army, awaked him; and as they wondered at his Tranquility: Be not surprised, said he, at my sleeping so securely: Darius has rid me of a great many Cares, since by gathering this Day all his Forces into one Body, he has given to Valour an opportunity of deciding in one single Battle the fortune of us both.

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80

La Veille que Darius disposa ses troupes au combat, Alexandre dormoit d’un si profond sommeil, qu’il dura encore plusieurs heures aprés le levé du Soliel; ses gens, effrayez de l’armée Ennemie qui s’approchoit l’éveillerent, & comme ils s’étonnoient de sa tranquillité: ne soyez pas surpris, leur dit-il, si je dors si paisiblement: Darius m’a delivré de beaucoup de soucis, puisqu’en ramassant aujourd-hui toutes ses forces en un corps, il a donnê à la valeur le moyen de decider, en un combat, de toute nôtre fortune.

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81

Dionysius Tyrant of Syracuse being told that one of his Subjects had buried a Treasure in the Earth, commanded him to bring it to him. The Syracusan gave him but part of it, and having secretly kept the other, he went into another City, where he liv’d more plentifully then he did before; which being related to Dionysius, he restored him the remainder of his Treasure. Now, said he, that he knows how to use riches, he deserves to enjoy them.

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81

Denis Tyran de Syracuse, ayant appris qu’un de ses sujets avoit caché dans Terre un tresor, il lui commanda de le lui apporter. Le Siracusain ne lui en donna qu’une partie & en ayant retenu l’autre secrettement, il s’en alla dans une autre ville où il vécut plus liberalement qu’il n’avoit fait. Denis l’ayant appris, lui rendit le reste de son tresor: A present, dit-t-il, qu’il sçait bien user des richesses, il merite de les posseder.

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82

Philip King of Macedon being a Hostage at Thebes, Philo the Theban received him into his House, and entertained him with great Kindness; some time after, this Prince would have acknowledged his Benefits by Presents; but the generous Philo obstinately persisting to refuse them: Oh! dear Philo, said he, do not rob me now of the honour I have hitherto preserved, of having never been overcome in point of Benefits.

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82

Philippe Roy de Macedoine étant en otage à Thebes, Philon le Thebain le receut en sa Maison, & lui fit de grandes Amitiez. Ce Prince voulut quelque tems aprés par ses Presens reconnoítre ses bontez, & voyant que le généreux Philon les refusoit obstinement: Ah! cher Philon, lui dit-il, ne me derobez pas aujourd hui la gloire que j’ai toûjours jusques-ici conservée précieusement, de ne voir personne au monde qui me surmonte en matiere de Bien faits.

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83

Taxillus King of the Indies came to meet Alexander, and spoke to him thus, I challenge thee to fight, not with Arms, but Benefits; if thou art inferiour to me, thou shalt receive some from me; but if on the contrary thou art more powerful, thou shalt honour me with thy Favours. I accept the noble Challenge, answered Alexander, embracing him, We shall see which of us two shall get the better in Courtesy. Thus instead of taking his Kingdom from him, he enlarged the extent of it.

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83

Taxille Roy des Indes vint au devant d’Alexandre, & lui parla en ces Termes: je t’appelle au Combat, non pas des Armes mais des Bienfaits; si tu m’es inferieur, tu en recevras de moy, si au contraire tu es le plus puissant, tu m’honoreras de tes faveurs: j’accepte ce noble defi; répondit, Alexandre en l’embrassant, nous verrons en Bienfaits qui de nous l’Emportera; ainsi bien loin de le depouiller de son Royaume, il en augmenta l’étenduë.

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84

The Emperour Titus remembring once at Supper that during that Day he had done no Body a kindness: My Friends, said he, I have lost this Day.

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84

L’Empereur Titus se souvenant une fois en soupant, que pendant ce jour là il n’avoit fait du bien à Personne: Mes Amis, dit-il, j’ay perdu cette journée.

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85

Julius Cesar divorced his Wife Pompeia because her Reputation was not altogether without blemish, and that she was suspected of having an Amour with Clodius: Clodius was accused upon that account; and Cesar being summon’d to depose against him, said, he never could find that he had done any ill thing with his Wife: Why then did you part from her? ask’d somebody; Because, answered he, Cesars Wife ought to live with so much reserve as to be even beyond the reach of Calumny.

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85

Jules Cesar repudia Pompeia sa Femme, à cause que sa reputation n’ètoit pas fort honnête, & qu’on la soupçonnoit d’avoir commerce avéc Clodius; comme on accusoit celui-ci de Crime, Cesar appellé pour deposer contre lui, dit, qu’il n’avoit pas reconnu qu’il eût fait aucun mal avec sa Femme; pourquoy donc l’avez vous repudiée, lui dit on, parce que, répondit-il, il faut que l’Epouse de Cesar, vive avec tant de Modestie, qu’elle soit même hors des atteintes de la Calomnie.

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86

Attalus upon a false report that his Brother Eumenes was dead, made himself Master of the Kingdom, and married his Widow: Some time after, hearing that Eumenes was return’d into his Dominions, he left the Crown, and without any other Attendance than that of a private Man, went to meet him. Eumenes was contented to wisper him by way of Expostulation: Brother, I hope another time you won’t be so hasty to marry my Wife before you have seen me buried.

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86

Attalus sur un faux bruit que son Frere Eumenes étoit decedé, s’empara de l’Empire, & même épousa sa veuve: quelque tems aprés, comme il apprit qu’Eumenes revenoit en son Royaume, il quitta la couronne, & sans autre équipage que celui d’un homme privé, s’en vint au devant de lui. Eumenes pour tout reproche, se contenta de lui dire à voix basse: Une autre fois, mon Frere, vous ne vous hâterez pas d’épouser ma Femme, avant que vous ne m’ayez veu enterrer.

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87

Pompey having found several important Letters from Rome among Sertorius’s Papers, he burnt them all unperus’d; I ought, said he, to give an opportunity of Repenting, to those who have failed by disobliging me.

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87

Comme entre les Papiers de Sertorius, Pompée eût trouvé plusieurs Lettres considerables de Rome, il les brula toutes sans les vouloir lire; il faut, dit-il, donner moyen de se repentir, à ceux qui ont failli en me desobligeant.

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88

Antigonus’s Soldiers being angry because he had made them incamp in a very incommodious Place, spoke very saucily of him near a Tent, where they did not think he was. Antigonus, who over-heard them, contented himself to take up the Curtain of his Tent with a Stick, and tell them: If you do not go further off to rail at me, i’ll make you repent it.

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88

Les Soldats d’Antigonus, fâchez de ce qu’il les avoit fait camper dans un lieu fort incommode, parloient de lui en des termes fort insolens prés d’une Tente où ils ne croyoient pas qu’il fût: Antigonus qui les entendit, se contenta de lever le rideau de sà Tente avec un Bâton, & de leur dire; si vous n’allez pas plus loin d’ici medire de moy, je vous en ferai repentir.

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89

Athenodorus the Philosopher having upon account of his Age, got leave of Cesar Augustus to go home; he told him at parting, as an important piece of Advice: Sir, whenever you are in a Passion, remember not to do what it suggests to you, before you have pronounced the four and twenty Letters of the Alphabet.

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89

Le Philosophe Athenodorus ayant, sous prétexte de sa vieillesse, obtenu de Cesar Auguste la permission de se retirer chez soy, pour avis important, il lui dit en prenant congé de lui. Quand la colere vous surprendra, Seigneur, souvenez vous de ne rien faire de ce qu’elle vous suggerera qu’aprés avoir prononcé les vingt quatre Lettres de l’Alpbabet.

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90

Augustus having made a Law for the Trial and Punishment of those that were accused of Adultery, did no sooner hear that a young Man had committed the same Crime with Julia, Daughter to that Emperour, but he rush’d upon him and beat him with great fury; whereupon the young Man cry’d out: Cesar, you have made a Law. At which Words Augustus acknowledging his Passion, he contained himself, and was so vex’d at it, that he would not eat a bit all that Day.

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90

Auguste qui avoit établi une Loy, de la maniere de juger & de punir ceux qu’on accusoit d’Adultere, n’eut pas plutot ouï qu’un jeune homme avoit commis le même crime avec Julia fille de cét Empereur, qu’il se jetta sur lui, & le frappa tout furieux; alors le jeune Homme s’écria: Cesar, vous avez fait une Loy. Auguste à ce Mot, reconnoissant son emportement, se retint, & ressentit tant de deplaisir, qu’il ne voulut rien manger de tout ce jour là.

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91

Diogenes said, that to become perfect, a Man had need of faithful Friends, or great Enemies; because the one by their good Advice, and the other by their sharp Reproaches, made him sensible of his defects.

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91

Diogene disoit, qu’un homme pour devenir parfait avoit besoin de fideles Amis, ou de grands Ennemis; parce que les uns par leurs bons avis, & les autres par leurs reproches piquans, lui faisoient sentir ses defauts.

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92

Alexander the Great coming into Apelles’s Shop, and speaking improperly of some Pictures that were there exposed to view, Apelles told him frankly: Sir, as long as you did not talk about our Art, every one here had an admiration and Respect for your Majesty; but as soon as you have pretended to judge of our Works, my very Prentices, who grind my Colours, could not forbear laughing.

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92

Alexandre le grand ètant entré dans la Boutique d’Apelles & parlant, en mauvais Termes de quelques Tableaux qui y ètoient exposez, Apelles lui dit franchement: Sire, tant que vous me parliez, point de nôtre Art, chacun n’avoit ici pour vôtre Majesté que de l’admiration & du Respect: Mais aussi-tôt que vous avez voulu juger de nos Ouvrages, mes Apprentiss mêmes qui broyent mes Couleurs, n’ont pû s’empêcher de rire.

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93

The same Prince being Wounded in a Fight with an Arrow, said to those who were about him: Every one calls me Immortal, and Son of Jupiter: What do you think on’t? does not this wound give the lie to all those Flatterers? This Blood that runs is of the same colour with that of my Subjects, and puts me in mind that I am but a Man.

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93

Le même Prince, ayant receu un coup de Flêche dans un Combat, dit à ceux qui l’environnoient: Chacun m’appelle immortel, & Fils de Jupiter: qu’en dites vous? cette blessure ne donne t-elle pas le dementi à tous ces Flatteurs là? ce sang qui coule n’est point d’une autre couleur que celui de mes sujets & il m’avertit que je ne suis qu’un Homme.

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94

The Emperour Augustus feeling approaching Death, told those Friends who were about his Bed: Well, my Friends, what think you, have I not during my Life pretty well acted my Part upon the Stage of the World? And as every one confest that no Man’s life could ever be more Illustrious, and better govern’d than his, he added these Words, which were usually spoke to the People after the Play: Farewel then, my Friends, and clap Hands.

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94

L’Empereur Auguste, sentant que sa Mort approchoit, dit s’addressant à ses Amis qui ètoient autour de son Lit: Hé bien, mes Amis, que vous en semble, n’ai-je pas pendant ma vie, assez bien joüé mon Personnage sur le Theatre du Monde? Et comme chacun avoüa que jamais vie ne pouvoit être plus illustre, & mieux conduite que la sienne, il ajouta ce Mot, qu’on avoit coûtume de dire au Peuple aprés la Comedie: Adieu donc, mes Amis, frappez des Mains.

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95

Somebody came to Socrates the Philosopher, to tell him the Athenians had sentenced him to Death: Nature, said he, has long since condemn’d them to suffer the same punishment as well as I.

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95

Quelqu’un vint dire au Philosophe Socrate, que les Atheniens l’avoient condamné à la Mort: Il y a long tems, dit-il, que la Nature les a condamnez à la même peine aussi bien que moy.

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96

When King Philip came with his Army into the Peloponesus, one told Damidas, that in case the Lacedemonians did not make their Peace with him, they must suffer a great deal: You Coward, answered he, What can those Men suffer who are not afraid of Death?

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96

Lorsque le Roy Philippe entra avec son Armée dans les Terres du Peloponese, quelqu’un dit à Damidas, que si les Lacedemoniens ne rentroient en grace avec lui, ils auroient beaucoup à souffrir: Hé Poltron, répondit-il, que peuvent souffrir ceux qui ne craignent point la Mort?

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97

One told Anacharsis that the Ship he was in was but four Inches thick: Then, said he, we are within four Inches of Death.

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97

On dit à Anacharsis, que le Navire qui le portoit n’avoit que quatre doigts d’épaisseur: Nous ne sommes donc, dit-il, éloignez de la Mort que de quatre doigts.

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98

Stratonicus being asked what sort of Ships were safest, answered: The safest are those that are taken out of the Sea and laid up on firm Land.

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98

Stratonicus ètant interrogé quelle sorte de Vaisseaux ètoient les plus seurs, il répondit: les plus seurs sont ceux qu’on a tiré de la Mer en terre ferme.

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99

The Emperour Tiberius seldom changed the Officers, Governours and Magistrates of his Empire, and being asked the reason, he answered: When Flies are full they don’t sting so much as they did before.

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99

L’Empereur Tibere changeoit rarement les Officiers, les Gouverneurs, & les Magistrats de son Empire, & quand on lui en demandoit la raison, il repondit: quand les Mouches sont saoules, elles ne piquent plus si fort qu’auparavant.

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100

A Painter shewing an ill Picture, bragg’d that he had finish’d it in a very little Time: you need not tell us of it, said Apelles, your Picture speaks it planly enough.

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100

Un Peintre montrant un mauvais Tableau, se vantoit de l’avoir achevé en fort peu de tems: tu n’as que faire, dit Apelles, de nous en avertir, ton Tableau le dit assez.

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101

Melanthus hearing the Philosopher Gorgias exhort in Publick the Grecians to Concord; This is a fine Man indeed, said he, thus to endeavour to perswade all these Grecians to that Peace and Unity which he cannot settle at home betwixt himself, his Wife and his Maid.

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101

Melanthus entendant le Philosophe Gorgias exhorter publiquement les Grecs à la Concorde: Cét homme a bonne Grace, dit-il, de vouloir persuader à tous ces Grecs la Paix & l’Union, qu’il ne sauroit établir chez soy entre lui-même, sa Femme & sa Servante.

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102

Demetrius Phalereus used to exhort Ptolomeus to gather Books about Civil and Military Politicks: Because, said he, Kings will find in such Books those Things that their Friends dare not to tell them. To which purpose Alphonsus King of Aragon said: Books are the Counsellors I like best; ’tis not either Fear or Hope that will hinder them to tell me what I ought to do.

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102

Demetrius Phalereus avoit coutume d’exhorter le Roy Ptolomée de ramasser des Livres qui traitassent de la Politique Civile & Militaire, Parce que, disoit-il, les Rois trouvent dans ces Livres des choses dont leurs Amis n’oseroient leur parler. Alphonse Roy d’Aragon disoit à ce sujet: Les Livres sont les Conseillers qui me plaisent d’avantage: la crainte ni l’esperance ne les empêchent point de me dire ce que je dois faire.

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103

Dionysius the Tyrant had made great Promises to an excellent Musician, who sung before him, and as the Musician found that they came to nothing, he complain’d to the Tyrant, who answer’d him: Friend, What reason hast thou to complain? I paid thee the same way as thou servedst me: Thou hast tickled my Ear with pleasing Musick, and I have entertain’d thee with the Pleasure of fair Hopes, and so we are quits.

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103

Denys le Tyran avoit fait de grandes promesses à un excellent Musicien qui avoit chanté devant lui, & comme le Musicien vid qu’elles n’ètoient suivies d’aucun effet, il se plaignit au Tyran, qui lui rêpondit: Dequoi te plains tu, mon Ami? je t’ai payé de la même sorte que tu m’as servi: tu m’as chatouillé l’oreille par le plaisir de la Musique, & moi je t’ai fait goûter le plaisir des belles Esperances; ainsi nous voilà quittes.

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104

One of the Ancients said: That the Great ones us’d all their endeavours to lose the use of their Hands and Feet, because they get others to dress and carry them.

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104

Un Ancien disoit, que les grands faisoient tout leur possible, afin de perdre l’usage des Pieds & des Mains, parce qu’ils se font chausser, habiller, & porter par les autres.

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105

Diogenes wrote upon the Foot of a golden Statue which the Curtezan Phrine had erected to Venus, in the Temple of Delphos, these Words: The Incontinency of the Grecians has rais’d this Statue.

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105

Diogene écrivit sur le pied d’une Statuë d’Or que la courtisane Phryné avoit presentée à Venus dans le Temple de Delphes, ces Mots: l’Incontinence des Grecs a dressé cette Statuë.

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106

Adrian the Emperour ask’d Epictetus why Venus was represented Naked: Because, answered he, She strips those Men of every thing who court her Pleasures too much.

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106

L’Empereur Adrien demandoit à Epictete pourquoi on representoit Venus toute nuë: C’est, repondit-il, parce qu’elle depouille de tous les biens ceux qui recherchent trop ses Plaisirs.

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107

Vespasian finding himself dying, to ridicule the silly Custom of the Heathens in those Times, (who rank’d the Emperours among the Gods, after they were dead) said, I feel I become a God.

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107

Vespasien qui se sentoit mourir, disoit en se moquant de la sotte coutume des Payens de ce tems-là, qui mettoient les Empereurs, après leur Mort, au nombre des Dieux: je sens bien que je deviens Dieu.

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108

Portia the Wife of Brutus, gave her self a great wound with a Knife, the Night before Cesar was to be murder’d by her Husband, and said to those who ask’d her how that Misfortune was befallen her: I did it on purpose, to try with what Resolution I shall suffer that Death I prepare to my self, if the design of the Conspirators miscarries.

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108

Portia, Femme de Brutus, se fit une grande playe avec un Couteau, la veille que Cesar devoit être assassiné par son mari, & dit à ceux qui lui demandoient comment ce malheur ètoit arrivé: je l’ai fait à dessein d’essayer avec quelle constance je pourrai souffrir la Mort que je me prepare, si le dessein des Conjurez vient à manquer.

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109

Epictetus a Slave of Epaphrodites, one of Nero’s Officers, having one Day received from him a great blow on on his Leg, told him coldly: Pray have a care you don’t break my Leg. But that cruel Man redoubled his blow with such force, that he broke his Shin-bone: Well, said then Epictetus smiling, did not I tell you you were like to break my Leg?

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109

Epictete Esclave d’Epaphrodite, Officier de Neron, ayant un jour receu de lui un grand coup sur la jambe, lui dit froidement: Prenez garde, je vous prie de ne me pas casser la jambe. Mais ce cruel redoubla son coup d’une telle force qu’il lui brisa l’Os: Hé bien, lui dit alors Epictete en souriant, ne vous l’avois je pas dit que vous joüiez à me casser la jambe?

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110

Antipater having defeated King Agis, demanded fifty Lacedemonian Boys, as Hostages to secure his Conquest. Etheocles, who then was Ephorus, answered: That he would give him no Boys, lest being no more under the Spartan Discipline, they should contract vicious Inclinations; but that they were ready to give him double that number of old Men and Women.

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110

Antipater, aprés avoir vaincu le Roy Agis, demanda pour seureté de sa conquête cinquante Enfans Lacedemoniens en ôtage. Etheocles, qui alors ètoit Ephore, rêpondit, Qu’il ne lui donneroit point d’Enfans, de crainte que n’etant plus soûmis à la Discipline de Sparte, ils ne contractassent de vicieuses Inclinations: Mais qu’ils ètoient prêts de leur donner le double de Vieillards, & de Femmes.

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111

An Jonian Woman made a shew of a piece of Work very rich, and well wrought, but a Lacedemonian shewing four Children whom she had well brought up: These, said she, are the Works that a Virtuous Lady ought to value her self upon.

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111

Une Femme Jonienne faisoit parade d’un ouvrage de Main fort riche & bien travaillé: Mais une Lacedemonienne faisant paroitre quatre Enfans qu’elle avoit fort sagement élevez: Voilà, dit elle, les Ouvrages dont une Dame Vertueuse doit tirer la veritable gloire.

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112

The Emperour Theodosius committing his Sons to be instructed by the learned Arsenius, told them: Children, if you take care to ennoble your Souls with Virtue and Knowledge, I will leave you my Crown with Pleasure; but if you neglect that, I had rather see you loose the Empire, than hazard it into the Hands of those that are unfit to govern it: ’Tis better you should suffer the loss of it, than occasion its ruin.

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112

L’Empereur Theodose donnant ses Enfans au savant Arsenius, pour les instruire, leur dit: Mes Enfans, si vous avez soin d’ennoblir vos ames de la vertu & de la Science, je vous laisserai avec plaisir ma Couronne: Mais si vous le negligez, j’aimerois mieux vous voir perdre l’Empire, que de le hazarder à la conduite de gens incapables; il vaut mieux que vous en souffriez la perte, que de le ruiner.

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113

Philip was told that his Son Alexander complained of his getting many other Children by different Women, whereupon he spoke thus to him: Since thou seest, Alexander, that thou hast several Competitors in the Empire, endeavour to become so good and so brave, that thou may’st obtain the Kingdom rather by thy Merit than my Favour.

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113

Philippe apprit que son Fils Alexandre se plaignoit de ce qu’il engendroit plusieurs Enfans de diverses Femmes: là dessus il lui parla ainsi; Puis que tu vois, Alexandre, que tu as plusieurs Concurrens à l’Empire, fais en sorte que tu deviennes si honnête & si brave, que tu puisses obtenir le Royaume par ton merite, plûtôt que par ma faveur.

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114

After the defeat of Pompey the Great, the Troops which followed Scipio into Africa, having run away, Cato, who saw the Victory in Cesar’s Hands, killed himself out of spite: Cesar having receiv’d the news of his Death, cried out: Oh! Cato, I envy thy Death, since thou hast envied me the Honour of giving thee thy Life.

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114

Aprés la defaite du Grand Pompée, les Troupes qui suivoient Scipion en Afrique ayant pris la fuite, Caton qui voyoit Cesar Victorieux se tua de depit: Cesar apprenant sa Mort s’écria: Ah! Caton, je porte envie à ta Mort, puis que tu m’as envié la gloire de te donner la Vie.

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115

Socrates having for a long time endured his Wifes brawling, went out of his House, and sat down before the Door, to rid himself of her Importunity. This Woman enrag’d to find that all her Scolding was not able to disturb his Tranquillity, flung a Chamber-pot-full upon his Head. Those that happened to see it laughed at poor Socrates; but that Philosopher told them smiling: I thought indeed after so much Thunder we should have some Rain.

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115

Socrate, aprés avoir long tems souffert la Criaillerie de sa Femme, sortit de sa Maison, & s’assit devant sa porte pour se delivrer de son importunité; cette femme indignée de voir que tous ses cris n’ètoient point capables d’ébranler sa tranquillité, lui versa sur la tête un Pot de Chambre. Ceux qui apperceurent-cette Action se rioient du pauvre Socrate; mais ce Philosophe souriant aussi, leur dit: je me doutois bien qu’aprés un si grand Tonnerre nous aurions de la Pluye.

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116

Zeuxis contending with Parrhasius about the Excellence of their Pictures, drew some Grapes so much to the Life, that Birds came to peck at them. As for Parrhasius he exposed to view a Curtain so well done, that Zeuxis proud of the sucess of his Work, told him hastily, that ’twas not a time to hide his Picture, and offered to draw the Curtain himself; but perceiving his Mistake: Well, said he, I have done with thee; I only cheated Birds, but thou hast cheated the Painter himself.

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116

Zeuxis disputant avec Parrhasius de l’excellence de leurs Tableaux, peignit des Raisins si fort au Naturel, que les Oiseaux venoient les bequeter. Parrhasius de son côté exposa en vuë un rideau si bien-fait, que Zeuxis enflé du succez de son ouvrage, lui dit impatiemment, que ce n’ètoit pas là le tems de cacher son Tableau, & voulut tirer le rideau lui même, mais appercevant son Erreur: Ah! lui dit il, je te quitte; je n’ai trompé que les Oiseaux, & tu as trompé le Peintre même.

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117

Pericles being accused for laying out the Publick Revenues upon Buildings, Publick Ornaments, and Offerings to the Gods: Will you give me leave, said he, to the People, to get my name ingraved upon all those things instead of yours, and I’ll be at the charge of them out of my own Pocket. At which Words, the People out of a point of Honour, refused to accept his Proposal, and permitted him to go on with his Magnificence in the Name of the People.

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117

Comme on accusoit Periclés de dépenser les Deniers publics en Batimens, en Decorations publiques, & en offrandes qu’il faisoit aux Dieux: voulez vous permettre, dit-il au Peuple, que je fasse graver sur toutes ces choses-là mon nom en la place du vôtre, j’en payerai la depense de mes propres Deniers. A ce Mot, le Peuple piqué d’honneur, refusa d’accepter sa Proposition, & lui permit de continüer ses magnificences au nom du Peuple.

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118

Some Romans wondered that Cesar should continue perpetual Dictator, by which he seemed to affect Monarchy; whereas Sylla had renounced that Title, to whom Cesar answered: Do not wonder at that, Sylla could not read well, and so was not able to dictate long.

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118

Quelques Romains trouvant étrange que Cesar demeurât Dictateur perpetuel, en quoi il sembloit affecter la Royauté, vû que Sylla avoit quitté cette qualité-là, Cesar leur répondit: Ne vous ètonnez pas de cela, Sylla ne savoit pas bien lire, il ne pouvoit pas dicter longtems.

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119

Dionysius the Tyrant of Sicily caused the Statue of Jupiter Olympius to be stripped of a Cloak of massive Gold, worth above fifty thousand Crowns, and instead of that gave him one of Wool, saying This Cloak is too Cold in Winter, and too heavy in Summer; we must take care of Jupiter, this Woollen one will fit him much better.

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119

Denys, Tyran de Sicile, fit òter de dessus la Statuë de Jupiter Olympien, un manteau d’Or massif, qui valoit plus de cinquante mille écus, & au lieu de celui-là, il lui en donna un de Laine, disant: Ce manteau est trop froid en Hyver, & trop lourd en Eté, il faut avoir soin de Jupiter, celui de Laine lui sera bien plus commode.

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120

The same King caused in Epidauris the golden Beard of Æsculapius to be plucked off: It is neither becoming nor rational, said he, to represent Æsculapius the Son with a long Beard, whilest we see by him Apollo his Father with a smooth & beardless Chin.

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120

Ce même Roy fit dans Epidaure arracher une Barbe d’Or qui ètoit au menton d’Esculape: Il n’est pas, dit-il, de la bienseance ni du bon sens, de representer Esculape fils avec une longue barbe, pendant qu’on voit auprés de lui Apollon son Pere, sans un seul poil au menton.

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121

A Roman Knight, who was above two Hundred thousand Crowns in debt, and yet enjoyed his Pleasure, and lived in great Tranquillity, being dead, the Emperour Augustus commanded that when his Goods were Sold, his Bed should be bought for him, adding this Reason: That must needs be the best Bed in the World, since he who was so deeply indebted could repose in it so long at his ease.

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121

Un Chevalier Romain, qui chargé de plus de deux cens mille écus de Dettes ne laissoit pas de mener une Vie delicieuse & tranquille, ètant decedé, l’Empereur Auguste commanda qu’on lui achetât son Lit, quand on vint à vendre ses Meubles, disant pour raison: Il faut que ce soit le meilleur Lit du Monde puisque celui qui ètoit accablé de tant de dettes a pu si long tems y reposer à son aise.

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122

Alexander the Great sent a Hundred Talents as a Present to Phocion. This Man asked those that brought it, why Alexander sent this Present to him alone, among so many Persons that were in Athens: Because, answered they, the Athenians esteem you the wisest man among them: Why then, replyed he, will he not suffer me to keep that Quality, and why does he desire me to cease to be wise by accepting his Presents?

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122

Alexandre le grand envoya cent Talents en present à Phocion. Celui-ci demanda à ceux qui les apportoient pourquoi Alexandre adressoit ce present à lui seul, entre tant de Personnes qui ètoient à Athenes. C’est, lui répondirent-ils, parce que les Atheniens t’estiment être le plus Sage d’entreux: Que ne me laisse-t-il donc, repliqua-t-il, conserver cette qualité, & pourquoi veut il qu’en acceptant ses presens je cesse d’être Sage?

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123

Cato of Utica, perceiving that Cesar had filled the Temple of Castor, and the Market-place with armed Men against him: What a great Coward, said he, is Cesar, thus to arm so many Soldiers against one single Man.

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123

Caton d’Utique, voyant que Cesar avoit rempli le Temple de Castor, & la place publique, de gens armez contre lui: O que Cesar, dit-il, est un grand Poltron, d’armer tant de Soldats contre un seul homme!

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124

One of Artaxerxes’s Officers asked an unjust thing of him: The King being informed that he was prompted to do it only upon a Promise of a great Sum of Money, ordered the like Sum to be brought to him, and presented him with it, saying, Take this Money Friend: this Gift cannot make me poor; but should I grant thy request, I should become very unjust.

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124

Un Officier d’Artaxerxes lui faisoit une injuste demande. Le Roy ètant informé qu’il n’ètoit porté à la faire que parce qu’on lui avoit promis une grande somme d’Argent, se fit apporter une pareille somme, & la lui presenta en lui disant: Prens cét Argent là, mon ami, ce don ne sauroit m’appauvrir; mais si je t’accordois ta demande, je deviendrois très injuste.

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125

Aristippus gave fifty Drachms for a Partridge, and as some body censured such an Expence in a Philosopher, Aristippus told him, would you not buy it if it cost but a Farthing? he answered, with all my Heart: Well, replied Aristippus, fifty Drachms are no more to me than a Farthing.

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125

Aristippe avoit fait acheter une Perdrix cinquante Dragmes, & quelqu’un condamnant une telle depense en un Philosophe, Aristippe lui dit, ne l’acheteriez vous pas si elle ne coûtoit qu’une Obole? il lui rêpondit, très volontiers: Et à moi, repartit Aristippe, cinquante Dragmes ne sont pas plus qu’une Obole.

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126

The same Aristippus begged a Favour of King Dionysius for one of his Friends, and not being able to obtain it, he cast himself at his Feet, with design to embrace them, and pray him, as he loved to be entreated. Some body found fault with this Action, as unworthy of a Philosopher; to whom he pleasantly answered: You ought not to lay the blame upon me, but upon King Dionysius, who carries his Ears at his Feet.

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126

Le même Aristippe demandoit au Roy Denys une grace pour un de ses Amis, & ne pouvant l’obtenir, il se jetta à ses pieds, & les embrassa pour le prier en la maniere qu’il aimoit à être prié. Quelqu’un lui reprochant cette action, comme indigne d’un Sage, il répondit plaisamment: La faute ne m’en doit pas être imputée, mais au Roy Denys, qui met ses Oreilles à ses Pieds.

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127

The Ambassadors of Greece grumbling because King Philip slept in the Day-time, and made them wait too long for an Audience: Do not wonder, Gentlemen, said Parmenio, if he sleeps whilst you wake, for whilst you slept he was awake. Giving them to understand, that his Master had got the start of the Grecians, whilst their divisions hindred them from minding their own Affairs.

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127

Les Ambassadeurs de la Grece voyant le Roy Philippe dormir pendant le jour, murmuroient de ce qu’il tardoit trop à leur donner Audience: Ne vous étonnez pas, Messieurs, leur dit Parmenion, s’il dort tandis que vous veillez, car pendant que vous dormiez, ils veilloit. Il vouloit leur faire entendre que son Maître avoit pris ses avantages sur les Grecs, pendant que les Divisions les empêchoient de songer à leurs Affaires.

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128

Mecenas seeing Augustus in the Senate House ready to pass Sentence of Death upon a great many Persons, and not being near enough to advise him to moderate his severity, he flung a Note to him, at the opening of which Augustus found these bold Words: Rise, Butcher, and come out of that Place. Augustus, who knew his Affection to him, was not in the least offended, but on the contrary commended this extream Liberty.

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128

Mecenas voyant Auguste dans le senat prêt de condemner à la Mort un grand nombre de Personnes, & ne pouvant s’approcher assez prés, pour l’avertir de moderer sa severité, lui jetta un billet, à l’ouverture duquel Auguste trouva ces Paroles hardies: Leve-toi Bourreau, & sors de là; Auguste qui connoissoit son affection ne s’en offensa pas, mais au contraire estima cette excessive Liberté.

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129

Dionysius the Tyrant ask’d Aristippus what made Philosophers make their Court to Rich Men, and Rich Men never visit Philosophers: Because, answer’d he, Philosophers know their wants, but Rich Men are not sensible of theirs.

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129

Denys le Tyran demandoit à Aristippe, d’où vient que les Philosophes venoient faire la cour aux Riches, & que les Riches, n’alloient point visiter les Philosophes? C’est, répondit-il, que les Philosophes connoissent leurs Besoins, & que les Riches ne sentent point les leurs.

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130

One who was declaiming against Philosophers, said, that for all the contempt they exprest for Riches, yet they were always to be seen at the Rich Mens Doors: I don’t wonder at it, answered Aristippus, for Physicians are very assiduous in visiting their Patients at their Houses: And yet no body had rather be a Patient than a Physician.

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130

Une Personne, declamant contre les Philosophes, disoit que quelques mépris qu’ils montrassent pour les Richesses, on ne laissoit pas de les voir toûjours aux Portes des Riches. Je ne m’en étonne pas, répondit Aristippe, les Medecins sont assidus à visiter leurs Malades dans leurs Maisons; toutefois Personne n’aimeroit mieux être malade que Medecin.

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131

The same Aristippus being a Ship-board, and finding that the Ship belonged to some Pirates, began to count his Money, and dropt it on purpose into the Sea; and then with counterfeit Groans made the rest believe that it slipt by chance out of his Hands. By this dexterous piece of Policy he avoided the danger to which his Life was expos’d; which made him say with a low Voice as he was dropping of it: ’Tis better I should lose thee, than thou be the occasion of my Ruin.

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131

Ce même Aristippe s’étant embarqué & ayant reconnu que le Vaisseau appartenoit à des Pirates, se mit à conter son Argent, & le laissa tomber à dessein dans la Mer, faisant croire par de feints gemissemens qu’il lui ètoit échappé des Mains sans y penser. Il évita par ce tour adroit le danger où sa Vie étoit exposée, ce qui lui fit dire à voix basse en le jettant: Il vaut mieux que je te perde, que si tu étois cause de ma perte.

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132

The Samnites, laden with Riches, which they came to offer to Marius Curius their Conquerour, found him busy about cooking of Turneps for his Dinner. He refus’d their Presents, and told them for his Reason: A Man who can be contented with so course a Fare, has but little occasion either for your Gold or Silver.

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132

Les Samnites chargez de richesses qu’ils venoient offrir à Marius Curius leur vainqueur, le trouverent occupé à faire cuire des Navets pour son diner. Il refusa leurs presens, & leur dit pour raison: Un homme qui se contente d’une si maigre chere, n’a pas grand besoin de vôtre Or, ni de vôtre Argent.

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133

Simonides being asked which was most to be desired, either Riches or Wisdom: I am, answered he, very much in doubt about it; for I see a great many Wisemen make their Court to the Rich.

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133

Simonide interrogé ce qui ètoit le plus à souhaiter, les richesses ou la sagesse? Je suis, répondit-il, fort en doute là dessus: je vois beaucoup de sages venir faire la cour aux Riches:

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134

King Pyrrhus taking notice that his Son us’d his Subjects with too much Pride and Severity, rebuk’d him in these Words; I perceive well enough, my Son, by your haughty way of Proceeding, that you are ignorant that the Royal Dignity is but a creditable Slavery.

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134

Le Roy Pyrrhus voyant son Fils qui traitoit ses sujets avec trop de fierté & de rigueur, le reprit en ces termes: Je voi bien, mon Fils, à vôtre maniere arrogante d’agir, que vous ignorez, que la dignité de Roy est une servitude honnorable.

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135

Philip was asking King Antigonus his Father, before several Persons, when he design’d to decamp. The King surpriz’d at his Sons indiscretion, which was like to disclose a design he had a mind to keep secret: What, said he to him, are you afraid to be the only Man that shall not hear the sound of the Trumpet, which is to give you notice of it.

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135

Philippe demandoit au Roy Antigonus son Pere, en presence de plusieurs Personnes, quand il vouloit decamper: Ce Roy surpris de l’indiscretion de son Fils, qui alloit decouvrir un dessein qu’il vouloit tenir secret: quoi donc, lui dit-il, craignez vous d’être le seul qui n’entendiez pas le son de la Trompette, qui vous en doit avertir?

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136

As one was shewing Diogenes the Vows fix’d in one of the Temples of the false Gods, by such as had escaped the Dangers of the Wars, the Sea, or Sickness, this Philosopher, ridiculing their Superstition, answered: There would be a much greater number of them, if those that have perished in those Dangers had sent their Presents instead of those that have been saved from them.

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136

Comme on faisoit voir à Diogene les voeux attachez en un Temple des faux Dieux, par ceux qui ètoient échappez aux périls de la Guerre, de la Mer, & de la Maladie, ce Philosophe raillant leur Superstition, répondit: Il y en auroit un bien plus grand nombre, si ceux qui sont peris en ces dangers là avoient envoyé leurs presens, au lieu de ceux qui en ont été delivrez.

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137

A Man who had been instrumental in making King Philip Master of the City of Olynthia, of which he was a Citizen, complained to him that those of Lacedemon call’d him Traitor: Do not wonder at it, said that King, the Lacedemonians are naturally rustical and clownish; they call all things by their Names.

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137

Un Homme qui avoit contribüé à rendre le Roy Philippe Maître de la Ville d’Olynthe, dont il ètoit Citoyen, se plaignit à lui que ceux de Lacedemone l’appelloient Traître: Ne vous étonnez pas de cela, dit ce Roy: les Lacedemoniens de leur Naturel sont rustres & grossiers: ils appellent toutes choses par leur nom.

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138

One asked Diogenes the Cynick, which way he might be revenged of his Enemy: the best way, answered he, is to make thy self illustrious by thy Virtue, thus thou shalt gain a great advantage to thy self, and cause a great vexation to thy Foe.

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138

Quelqu’un demandoit à Diogene le Cynique, le moyen de se bien venger de son Ennemi: C’est, répondit-il, de te rendre illustre par ta vertu; tu te procureras ainsi un grand avantage, & un grand deplaisir à ton Ennemi.

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139

Cato the Elder, reflecting upon the eager desire of several Romans, of indifferent Merit, of having Statues erected to them: I had much rather, said he, that People should ask why no Statues were raised to Cato, than that they should ask why they have been raised to him.

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139

Caton l’ainé, considerant l’empressement de plusieurs Romains, de peu de merite, à se faire ériger des Statuës; J’aime bien mieux, disoit-il, qu’on demande pourquoi on n’a pas élevé des Statuës à Caton, que si on demandoit pourquoi on lui en a dressé.

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140

King Pyrrhus having beat the Romans in two Battles, wherein he had lost a great many of his Men, said to his Friends: If I win a third battel at the same rate, we are undone without hopes of Recovery.

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140

Le Roy Pyrrhus, aprés avoir gagné contre les Romains deux Batailles où il avoit perdu beaucoup de Monde, dit à ses amis: Si je gagne encore de même une troisiéme Bataille nous sommes perdus sans ressource.

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141

Epaminondas viewing the sumptuous Preparations which were making for a Feast in a Sacrifice, to which he had been invited, he went his way, and said: I am called to a Sacrifice, and I find my self in a Debauch.

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141

Epaminondas voyant l’appareil somptueux d’un Festin qui se faisoit en un sacrifice où on l’avoit invité, il se retira, disant: On m’appelle à un Sacrifice, & je me trouve à une Debauche.

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142

The Captain Chabrias said, That an Army of Harts commanded by a Lion, is more formidable than an Army of Lions commanded by a Hart.

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142

Le Capitaine Chabrias disoit, qu’une Armée de Cerfs conduite par un Lion est plus formidable qu’une Armée de Lions commandée par un Cerf.

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143

A Cripple going to the Wars, some People that saw him walk, laughed at his design: Do not wonder at me, said he to them, I do not go to the Wars with design to run away, but to encounter the Enemy, and die in the same Rank wherein I shall be placed.

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143

Un Boiteux allant à la Guerre, quelques-uns qui le voyoient marcher, se rioient de son dessein: Ne vous ètonnez pas, leur dit-il, je ne vais pas à la Guerre à dessein de fuïr, mais pour faire tête aux Ennemis, & mourir dans le même rang où l’on m’aura placé.

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144

King Philip seeing his Son Alexander extream active and nimble, encouraged him to run a race in the Olympick Games: I would willingly undertake it, answered he, if those that were to run with me for the prize were Kings.

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144

Le Roy Philippe voyant son Fils Alexandre extremement souple & agile, l’excitoit à combattre à la course dans les jeux Olympiques: Je le ferois volontiers, lui répondit-il, si ceux qui me disputeroient le prix étoient des Rois.

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145

In the War which Marius was waging against the Teutones, his Soldiers complaining of extream Thirst, he shewed them a River that was very near the Enemies Camp: Thither, said he, you must go to quench your Thirst.

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145

Dans la Guerre que Marius fit aux Teutons, ses Soldats se plaignant d’une extreme soif, il leur montra un Fleuve qui ètoit fort proche du Camp des Ennemis: C’est là, leur dit-il, qu’il vous faut aller éteindre vôtre soif.

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146

As one was disuading Marcus Brutus from fighting, he said: What harm can I get by it? I can but overcome or die. And as some advised him after his defeat to save himself by flight: A Man, said he, ought to save himself with his Hands, and not with his Feet.

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146

Marcus Brutus, qu’on vouloit détourner d’aller au Combat, dit: Quel mal peut-il m’en arriver? je ne puis que vaincre ou mourir. Et sur ce que quelques uns lui conseilloient après sa defaite de se sauver par la fuite: Il se faut, dit-il, sauver avec les Mains, & non pas avec les Pieds.

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147

King Agis, said: One ought never to ask how many, but where the Enemys are.

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147

Le Roy Agis disoit: Il ne faut jamais demander combien, mais où sont les Ennemis.

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148

Augustus hearing that Alexander having conquered the best part of the World, was at a loss how to spend the remainder of his Days, he was surpriz’d at that Thought: Why, said he, was Alexander then ignorant that the well governing a conquered State, is a more important Employment than the making of new Conquests?

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148

Auguste entendant dire qu’Alexandre, après avoir conquis la plus grande partie de la Terre, ètoit en peine de sçavoir à quoi il pourroit occuper la reste de ses jours fut surpris de ce sentiment là: Hé quoi, dit-il, Alexandre ignoroit donc que bien gouverner un Empire conquis, est un Emploi plus considerable, que de faire de nouvelles Conquêtes?

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149

The Beginnings of Augustus’s Reign were fatal to the Roman Empire, by reason of his Cruelties, and the disorders he occasion’d. But as the latter end of his Reign was quite different, and rendred the Empire more flourishing than ever, ’twas said of him: That it were to be wished, either that he had never come into the World, or never gone out of it.

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149

Les commencemens du Regne d’Auguste furent pernicieux à l’Empire Romain, à cause de ses cruautez, & des désordres qu’il causa; mais comme la fin de son Regne toute differente, rendit l’Empire plus florissant que jamais, on dit de lui: Qu’il eût été à souhaiter, ou qu’il ne fut jamais venu au monde, ou qu’il n’en fut jamais sorti.

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150

Scilerus, who had many Children, being at the point of Death, gave every one of them a bundle of Arrows, and commanded them to break it. And as they all made answer, that the thing was impossible, he pulled out the Arrows, and broke them one by one; and from thence took occasion to tell them: By this, my Children, you ought to learn, that as long as you are well united together, you shall ever be invincible, and formidable to your Enemies: But if on the contrary you let divisions creep in amongst you, you will grow weak and easy to be overcome.

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150

Scilerus, qui avoit plusieurs Enfans, étant sur le point de mourir, leur donna à chacun un faisseau de fleches & leur commanda de le rompre. Aprés que tous eurent fait reponse que la chose étoit impossible, il tira les Fleches, & les rompit l’une aprês l’autre, & prit de là occasion de leur dire: Ceci vous doit apprendre, mes Enfans, que si vous demeurez bien unis ensemble, vous serez toûjours invincibles, & redoutables à vos Ennemis: Que si au contraire vous admettez chez vous la division, vous de viendrez foibles & faciles à vaincre.

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151

Pytho a Rhetorician of Byzantium, offer’d in a Sedition to exhort the People of that City to Concord; and because he was extraordinary fat, the People fell a laughing assoon as they saw him. But this subtile Orator taking from their laughter the beginning of his Speech: You laugh, said he, at my bigness: I have a Wife bigger yet than my self; nevertheless, when we agree, one Bed is enough for us; but when we are at odds, the whole House is too little to hold us.

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151

Python Rhetoricien de Bysance, voulut en une Sedition exhorter le Peuple de cette Ville à la Paix, & comme il ètoit extraordinairement gros, le Peuple se mit à rire dés qu’il le vit paroitre. Mais cêt adroit Orateur prenant de leur risée le sujet de son Exorde: Vous riez, leur dit-il, de ma grosseur, j’ay une Femme encore bien plus grosse que moy; cependant quand nous sommes d’accord, un seul Lit nous suffit, mais quand la division se met entre nous, toute la maison est trop petite pour nous contenir.

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152

Diogenes the Cynick, seeing some Magistrates leading to the place of Execution a Fellow who had stolen some little Vessel: Here are great Thieves, cry’d he presently, that carry a little one to the Gallows.

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152

Diogene le Cynique, qui voyoit des Magistrats conduire au supplice un homme qui avoit dérobé quelque petit vase: Voici, s’écria-t-il aussi-tôt, de grands voleurs qui menent un petit Larron à la Potence.

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153

King Philip’s Wife, Mother to Alexander the Great, hearing that her Son gave himself out to be the Son of Jupiter, and made himself to be worship’d as a God, did put a shrewd Jest upon his Vanity, in these Words: I conjure you, said she, in a Letter which she wrote to him, do not make any difference betwixt Juno and me any more.

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153

La Mere d’Alexandre le grand, Femme de Philippe, apprenant que son Fils se disoit Fils de Jupiter, & se faisoit adorer comme un Dieu, en railla finement la Vanité dans ces Mots: Je vous conjure, lui manda-t-elle de ne me plus brouiller avec Junon.

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154

A wicked Man, among the chief of Athens, asking a Lacedemonian, who was the best Man in Lacedemon, received this ingenious, but tart return: ’Tis he who least resembles thee.

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154

Un méchant homme des Principaux d’Athenes, demandant à un Lacedemonien, qui ètoit le plus homme de bien de Lacedemone, celui-ci lui répondit fort adroitement, mais d’une maniere bien aigre, C’est celui qui te ressemble le moins.

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155

Timo the Misanthropist, being invited to Dinner by one who affected to imitate him in his hatred for all Mankind: Here is, said that Man, a very fine Dinner; True, answered Timo, if thou wert not at it.

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155

Timon le Misanthrope ayant été invité à diner par un homme qui affectoit de l’imiter dans la haine qu’il avoit pour tout le Genre humain: Voici, dit cêt homme, un Repas bien agréable. Ouï, lui répondit Timon, si tu n’y ètois pas.

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156

Diogenes being banished by those of Sinope, his Birth place, he wrote to them: You have banished me your City, and I confine you to your Houses. You live at Sinope, and I at Athens. I daily converse with the best Men of Greece, while you are in bad Company.

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156

Diogene ayant été chassé par ceux de Sinope, lieu de sa naissance, leur manda: Vous m’avez banni de vôtre Ville, & moi je vous relegue dans vos Maisons. Vous demeurez à Sinope, & je demeure à Athenes. Je m’entretiens tous les jours avec les plus honnêtes gens de la Grece, pendant que vous étes en mauvaise compagnie.

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157

Bias the Philosopher, being a-board a Ship in a Storm with wicked Men, who call’d upon the Gods: Hold your Tongues, said he to them, that they may, if possible, forget that you are here.

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157

Le Philosophe Bias ètant dans un Vaisseau durant une Tempête avec des méchantes gens qui invoquoient les Dieux, Taisez vous, leur dit-il, afin qu’ils oublient, s’il se peut, que vous étes ici.

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158

Some of Socrates his Friends, expressing their Anger against one whom he had saluted, and had not return’d him his Civility: Why should you be angry, said Socrates to them, because that Man is not so civil as my self?

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158

Des Amis de Socrate temoignant être irritez de ce que quelqu’un qu’il avoit salüé ne lui avoit pas rendu son salut: Pourquoi se fâcher, leur dit Socrate, de ce que cét homme n’est pas si civil que moy?

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159

When they came to give the same Socrates notice of his being condemn’d to Death by the Athenians: They are also condemn’d by Nature, answered he. But they have unjustly condemn’d thee, said his Wife to him: Why would’st thou have me justly condemn’d? reply’d Socrates.

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159

Lors qu’on vint annoncer au même Socrate qu’il avoit été condamné à la Mort par les Atheniens: Ils le sont par la Nature, répondit-il. Mais ils t’ont condamné injustement, lui dit sa Femme: Voudroits tu que ce fut avec justice? lui dit Socrate.

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160

Philoxenes the Poet, being condemn’d by Dionysius to work at the Quarries, for disliking some Verses of that Tyrants making, Dionysius sent for him, to shew him other Verses of his own Composing, in hopes to get his Approbation, being passionately desirous to be esteem’d a good Poet. But Philoxenes unwilling to commend his new Verses, because they were bad ones, Let me go back to the Quarries, said he. The Tyrant however was this time so good-humour’d as not to be angry at it.

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160

Le Poëte Philoxene ayant été condamné par Denys à travailler aux Carrieres, pour avoir blamé des Vers que ce Tyran avoit faits, Denys l’en rappella, pour lui montrer de nouveaux Vers de sa façon, dans l’esperance de les lui faire approuver, souhaitant avec Passion d’être estimé bon Poëte. Mais Philoxene, ne voulant point loüer ses nouveaux Vers qui ètoient méchans, Qu’on me remene aux Carrieres, dit-il. Le Tyran neantmoins fut pour cette fois d’assez bonne humeur pour ne pas s’en fâcher.

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161

Diogenes seeing young Dionysius reduc’d to the Profession of a School-master, fell a sighing before him: Do not be concern’d, says Dionysius to Diogenes, for my bad Fortune; ’tis the effect of the inconstancy of humane Things. I am not troubled for what thou imaginest, answers Diogenes, but rather to see thee happier than either thou wast or doest deserve to be.

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161

Diogene, voyant le jeune Denys réduit à faire la fonction de maître d’Ecole, se mit à soupirer devant lui. Ne t’afflige point, dit Denys à Diogene, de ma mauvaise Fortune, c’est un effet de l’inconstance des choses humaines. Je ne suis pas affligé de ce que tu penses, lui répondit Diogene, mais de te voir plus heureux que tu n’ètois & que tu ne merites.

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162

King Philip contending with an able Musician about the fineness of an Air: ’Twere great pitty, Sir, said the Musician to him, you should be so unfortunate as to know these Things better than I. Which Jest teaches the great ones not to affect excelling in Arts of this Nature, because they are only proper to such as make a Trade of them.

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162

Le Roy Philippe disputant de la beauté d’un Air avec un habile Musicien: Ce seroit grand Dommage, Seigneur, lui dit le Musicien, que vous eussiez été assez malheureux pour savoir cela mieux que moy. Ce bon mot apprend aux hommes élevez de ne pas affecter d’exceller dans les connoissances de cette nature, parce que cela ne convient qu’à ceux qui en font Profession.

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163

An Athenian Lady asking by way of Derision a Lacedemonian Matron what Portion she had brought her Husband: Chastity, answered she.

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163

Une Dame d’Athenes demandant à une Dame Lacedemonienne, par maniere de reproche, ce qu’elle avoit apporté en Dot à son mari: La Chasteté, lui répondit-elle.

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164

An Athenian telling a Lacedemonian by way of Reproach, that the Athenians had often repulsed them from before their Walls: We cannot reproach you with any such thing, answer’d the Lacedemonian; which was a fine way of telling him, that those of Athens durst never appear before Lacedemon.

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164

Un Athenien reprochant à un Lacedemonien, que ceux d’Athenes les avoient souvent repoussez de devant leurs murailles: Nous ne saurions vous faire un pareil reproche, lui dit le Lacedemonien. C’ètoit une maniere delicate de lui dire, que jamais les Atheniens n’avoient osé se presenter devant Lacedemone.

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165

Another Athenian said, that the Lacedemonians spoil’d themselves in Foreign Countries: True, answer’d a Lacedemonian, but no Body spoils himself in Lacedemon.

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165

Un autre Athenien disoit que les Lacedemoniens se corrompoient dans les Païs étrangers: Il est vray, répondit un Lacedemonien, mais personne ne se corrompt à Lacedemone.

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166

Phocion used sharply to rebuke the Athenians, whereas the Orator Demostthenes flatter’d them in his Speeches: This People will murder thee, if ever they grow furious, said Demosthenes to Phocion; So they will thee, if ever they grow wise, reply’d Phocion.

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166

Phocion reprenoit aigrement les Atheniens, au lieu que l’Orateur Demosthene les flatoit par ses Harangues. Ce Peuple te tuera, s’il entre en fureur, dit Demosthene à Phocion; Et toi, s’il entre en son bon sens, lui repliqua Phocion.

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167

Alexander being at the point of Death, and his Domesticks having received his last Orders, they ask’d him where his Treasures lay? You will find them, said he, in my Friends Purses.

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167

Alexandre ètant à l’article de la Mort, ses Domestiques, aprés avoir receu ses derniers Ordres, lui demanderent où ètoient ses Tresors? Vous les trouverez, leur dit-il, dans la Bourse de mes Amis.

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168

During the War betwixt Cesar and Pompey, a Roman Knight fled from Cesar’s Camp, but left his Horse behind him the better to conceal his flight, and get into Pompey’s Camp. Cicero seeing Cesar’s Party was the strongest, and that the Knight had made an ill choice in siding with the weakest, said very pleasantly: That Knight has taken more care of his Horse than he has of himself.

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168

Durant la Guerre de Cesar & de Pompée, un Chevalier Romain se sauva du Camp de Cesar, & y laissa son Cheval, pour mieux couvrir sa fuite, & se jetter dans le Camp de Pompée; Ciceron voyant que le Parti de Cesar ètoit le plus fort, & que ce Chevalier avoit fait un méchant choix en se rangeant du côté du plus foible, dit fort plaisammant: Ce Chevalier a eu plus de soin de son Cheval, que de lui-même.

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169

Metellus, who was born of a Woman of great Liberties, pretending to joke upon Cicero about the meanness of his Birth, ask’d him, Who his Father was? Cicero instead of giving a direct Answer to the Question, waved it cuningly, by telling him: Thy Mother has made that Question harder for thee to answer.

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169

Metellus, Fils d’une Mere qui avoit été fort galante, voulant railler Ciceron sur la bassesse de sa naissance, lui demanda qui ètoit son Pere? Ciceron, au lieu de de répondre juste à la Question l’éluda adroitement, en lui disant: Ta Mere a fait en sorte qu’il te seroit bien plus difficile de dire qui ètoit le tien.

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170

A Leader of revolted Slaves was taken in Fight with many of his Party, by the General of a Roman Army; this General ask’d him what treatment he thought he and his Companions deserv’d: The same, said he, which brave Men deserve, who think themselves worthy of being Free; which answer so pleased the General, that he Pardon’d them, and employ’d them in his Troops.

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170

Un chef d’Esclaves revoltez fut pris les Armes à la Main, avec plusieurs de son Parti, par le Général d’une Armée Romaine; Ce Général lui demanda quel traitement il croyoit que lui & ses Compagnons avoient merité: Celui que meritent de braves Gens qui s’estiment dignes de la liberté, lui répondit-il. Cette reponse plut si fort à ce Général, qu’il leur pardonna & les employa dans ses Troupes.

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171

Some Roman Judges being to try Clodius, demanded a Guard, that they might, as they pretended, pass their Verdict upon his Crime with freedom; however they acquitted him, tho’ he deserv’d to be condemn’d; which made Catulus, speaking to those Judges, say: Were you afraid the Bribe Clodius had given you, should be taken away from you?

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171

Des Juges Romains, devant juger Clodius, demanderent des Gardes pour opiner librement, disoient-ils, touchant son Crime: Cependant ils le renvoyerent absous, quoiqu’il eut merité d’être condamné. Ce qui fit dire à Catulus, parlant à ces mêmes Juges: Est-ce que vous aviez peur qu’on ne vous ôtat l’Argent que Clodius vous avoit donné?

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172

Pyrrhus King of Epirus, being inform’d that some of his Soldiers had spoke ill of him at a Feast, he sent for them, and asked them whether that report was true; whereupon the boldest of them, seeing all was discover’d, made him this subtile Answer; Sir, had not our Wine failed us, we would have said a great deal more. This comical Excuse, and plain Confession, made the King laugh, and pacified his Anger.

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172

Pyrrhus le Roy des Epirotes, ayant sçeu que quelques uns de ses Soldats avoient fort mal parlé de lui dans un festin, les fit venir, & lui demanda si ce qu’on lui avoit rapporté étoit véritable? Alors le plus hardy d’entr’eux, voyant la chose decouverte, répondit subtilement, Seigneur, si le vin ne nous eut pas manqué nous en aurions bien dit davantage. Cette plaisante excuse, & cét aveu veritable, fit rire le Roy, & appaisa sa colere.

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173

Perillus having asked of Alexander the Great, who had a Friendship for him, some Money to marry one of his Daughters, Alexander order’d him fifty Talents. Perillus told him that ten were enough: I believe, reply’d Alexander, ’twould be enough for Perillus, but ’twould be too little for Alexander.

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173

Perillus ayant demandé à Alexandre le grand, son ami, quelque Argent pour marier une de ses filles, Alexandre lui fit donner cinquante talens; Perillus lui dit, que dix suffisoient, je croy, repliqua Alexandre, que ce seroit assez pour Perillus, mais ce seroit trop peu pour Alexandre.

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174

Marcus Terentius Varus would have the Guests at Feasts to equal the number either of the Muses or of the Graces; that is, that they should not be more than Nine, nor less than three. Upon a certain Day he made a Feast, and a Buffoon coming to it without invitation, the Steward seeing he was supernumerary, would go to turn him out: But the Buffoon told him, Thou art mistaken, Friend, count over again, and begin with me, thou wilt find I am not above the number.

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174

Marcus Terentius Varus vouloit que les conviez aux Banquets égalassent le nombre des Muses, ou des Graces; c’est à dire, qu’ils ne fussent point plus de neuf, ni moins de trois. faisant donc un jour un festin, un bouffon y survint sans être prié, le Maître d’Hôtel le voyant supernumeraire, le vouloit chasser; mais le bouffon luy dit, tu t’es trompé mon amy, compte une second fois, & commence par moy, tu verras que je ne suis point de trop.

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175

Zeno the Humorist being a Trader, was told upon a Day, that the Ship on whose bottom he had ventur’d his whole Estate, after having been beaten by a great Storm, perished at last at the entrance of the Haven: But he was so far from being concern’d at this sad News, that he said with a serene Countenance, I thank you Destiny for taking me from Merchandise, which is a mean and painful Employment, and carrying me back to Philosophy, which is a noble and salutary Exercise; adding, that he had rather met with a Port in the Wrack, than with a Wrack in the Port.

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175

Zenon le fantasque faisant commerce de Marchandises, apprit un jour que son Vaisseau sur lequel il avoit chargé tout son bien, aprés avoir été battu d’une grande tempête ètoit enfin peri à l’entrée du Port, mais bien loin de se chagriner à cette triste nouvelle, il-dit, avec un visage serain, je te remercie Destin de ce que tu me retires du Commerce, qui est un Art bas & penible & que tu me ramenes à la Philosophie qui est un exercice noble & salutaire, ajoutant, qu’il avoit plûtot trouvé le Port dans le naufrage, que le naufrage dans le Port.

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176

Hermon was so Covetous, according to Lucilius’s Testimony, that dreaming one Night he had spent some Money, he was so troubled at it that he hang’d himself. Dinarches Philo was also such another Miser that he quitted the design he had of hanging himself because he would not be at a Half-peny charge for a Rope, seeking Death at a much cheaper rate. And Hemocrates grew such a Fool by his extreme Avarice, that when he died, he made himself his own Heir to all his Estate: From whence the Philosopher Bias took occasion to say, That Covetousness is the Mother of the Madness and Malice of Men.

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176

Hermon fut si avare, selon le temoignage de Lucile, que revant la nuit qu’il avoit depensé quelque Argent, il en eut tant de douleur, qu’il s’étrangla. Dinarques Philon fut aussi tellement avare, qu’il quitta le dessein de se pendre pour ne pas depenser deux liards à acheter une corde, cherchant la Mort à meilleur marché; & Hemocrate devint si fou par son extreme Avarice, qu’en mourant, il se constitua luy même heritier de tous ses biens. d’où le Philosophe Bias prit sujét de dire, Que l’Avarice et la Mere de la folie, & de la Malice des Hommes.

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177

Those of Numantia, a very warlike People, having been defeated and put to flight by Scipio, the old Men reproached them severely with Cowardise, saying, Are not these the same Roman Sheep which we have so often beaten and drove before us? Yes, answered a young Man, these are the same Sheep, but they have changed their Shepherd.

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177

Ceux de Numànce, gens fort belliquex, ayant été defaits & mis en fuite par Scipion, les vieillards, leur reprochoient avec aigreur leur lâcheté, en leur disant, Ne sont ce pas ces mêmes brebis Romaines que nous avons vaincues, & battues tant de fois? Ouï, répondit un jeune homme, ce sont à la verité les mêmes brebis; mais elles ont changé de Pasteur.

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178

Cicero said, That as the Swallows appear in Summer, and disappear in Winter, so false Friends crowd about a Man in his good Fortune, but go from him in his Adversity.

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178

Ciceron disoit que de la même maniere que les hirondelles paroissent l’Eté, & disparoissent en Hyver, de même les faux Amis se presentent dans la bonne fortune & s’éloignent dans la mauvaise.

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179

One asked Aristotle what Liars got by telling lies? He answered, That the only thing they got by it, was not to be believed even when they spoke Truth.

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179

On demandoit à Aristote ce que gagnoient les Menteurs à debiter leurs mensonges? il répondit, qu’il ne leur en revenoit autre chose que de n’être point crus, quand même ils disoient la verité.

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180

The Tyrant Hiero having asked Simonides what God was? the Philosopher desir’d a Days Consideration for his Answer; then two, and then four, and so put it off from Day to Day: At last Hiero ask’d him why he did not answer his Question, but always defer’d it to another time? because said Simonides the more I think, the more I’m at a loss to find out this dark and obscure Thing.

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180

Le Tyran Hieron ayant demandé à Simonide ce que c’ètoit que Dieu, ce Philosophe prit un jour de delay pour y répondre; puis deux, ensuite il en demanda quatre, & ainsi differoit toûjours. Hieron à la fin luy demanda pourquoy il ne répondoit pas, & qu’il le remettoit toûjours à un autre temps? parce que, répondit Simonides, plus j’y pense, plus je m’y perds, & trouve la chose obscure.

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181

Socrates advised young Men to look themselves in a Glass, that if they were fine and handsom they might take care not to do any thing unworthy of their Beauty, and if on the contrary they were ugly and deformed, they should endeavour to drown the defects of the Body by the Virtues of the Mind.

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181

Socrate conseilloit aux jeunes gens de se regarder dans un miroir, afin que s’ils ètoient beaux & bien-faits, ils prissent garde de ne rien faire qui fut indigne de leur beauté; & qu’au contraire, s’ils étoient laids & difformes ils tâchassent d’effacer les defauts du Corps, par les vertus de l’Esprit.

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182

A Man who was never married would persuade Epictetus the Philosopher to take a Wife, shewing him by many Arguments that Marriage was a State both becoming and necessary for a Philosopher: If it be so, give me then one of your Daughters, answered Epictetus.

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182

Un Homme qui ne s’ètoit jamais marié vouloit persuader au Philosophe Epictete de prendre une Femme, lui faisant voir, par plusieurs raisons que le Mariage ètoit bien-seant & necessaire aux Philosophes: Si cela est, donne-moy donc une de tes Filles, lui répondit Epictete.

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183

Servius Geminus going one Day to see Lucius Mallius, a very skillful Painter, and seeing his Children who were extreme ugly, he could not forbear telling him that he wondred he did make so fine Pictures and get such ugly Children. To which Mallius pleasantly reply’d, don’t be surpriz’d at it, for I draw the Pictures in the Day, and get the Children in the Night.

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183

Servius Geminus allant un jour rendre visite à Lucius Mallius, Peintre très habile, & voyant ses Enfans qui ètoient fort Laids, il ne se peut empêcher de lui dire Qu’il s’ètonnoit de ce qu’il faisoit de si beaux Portraits, & des Enfans si laids. Mallius lui répondit agréablement, n’en soyez point surpris, je fais les Portraits pendant le jour & les Enfans pendant la Nuit.

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184

King Antigonus retiring from the Presence of the Enemy, who then were more powerful than he, some took his Retreat for a Flight; but he told them he did not fly, but rather followed his Profit and Advantage,

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184

Le Roy Antigonus se retirant de la presence des Ennemis, qui pour lors ètoient plus puissans que luy, quelques uns prirent sa retraite pour une fuite; mais il leur dit qu’il ne fuyoit point & qu’il alloit seulement où étoit son profit & son utilité.

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185

The same Prince being ask’d how one might overcome his Enemies, answered, by Strength and Policy: And that if the Lions Skin would not do, it must be ek’d out by the Fox’s Case.

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185

Ce même Prince interrogé de quelle maniere on pouvoit vaincre ses Ennemis, repondit que c’étoit, par la force & par la ruse; & que si la peau du Lion n’étoit pas suffisante, il faloit y coudre celle du Renard.

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186

A young Man, who was a very great Talker, making a Bargain with Isocrates to be taught by him, Isocrates ask’d double the Price his other Scholars gave him; and the reason, said he, is, that I must teach you two Sciences, the one to hold your Tongue, and the other to speak.

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186

Un jeune homme, fort grand parleur, voulant convenir du prix avec Isocrate pour être enseigné; Isocrate lui demanda le double de ce que lui donnoient ses autres Ecoliers: Et la raison, dit-il, est qu’il faut que je t’enseigne deux Sciences, l’une de te taire, & l’autre de parler.

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187

The Philosopher Anacreon having received a Present of ten thousand Crowns of Policrates King of Samos, was taken with so great a fear of being robbed, that he could not sleep for three Nights and Days, which made him carry back the Present to that Prince, telling him that he prefer’d his Repose before the Disquiets which attend Riches.

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187

Le Philosophe Anacreon ayant receu de Polycrate Roy de Samos un Present de dix mille écus, il entra dans de si grandes apprehensions d’être volé, qu’il fut trois jours & trois nuits sans dormir; ce qui l’obligea à rapporter le Present à ce Prince, lui disant qu’il preferoit son repos aux inquietudes que les Richesses trainent après elles.

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188

One asked Chrisippus why he would not apply himself to the Government of the Common-wealth? Because, answered he, if I do ill, I shall displease God, and if I do well, I shall displease Men. But Sidonius, his Disciple, turned cunningly that Argument upon him, and told him: You ought on the contrary, by all manner of Reasons, to take upon you the Administration of Affairs; for if you do well, you will please God, and if ill, you will please Men.

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188

On demandoit à Chrisippe pourquoi il ne se donnoit pas au gouvernemeur de la Republique? Parceque, repondit-il, si je fais mal je deplairai à Dieu, & si je fais bien je deplairai aux hommes; mais Sidonius son Disciple retourna finement cêt Argument & lui dit, vous devez au contraire par toutes sortes de Raisons entrer dans le Ministere, car si vous faites bien vous plairez à Dieu, & si vous faites mal vous plairez aux Hommes.

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189

Solon being in Company, and holding his Peace, according to his Custom, there was a young Giddy-brain’d Fellow who told him he was silent because he was a Fool: Solon, without any concern, answered him wisely, That there never was a Fool that could hold his Tongue.

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189

Solon étant en Compagnie, & se taisant, selon sa Coûtume, il y eut un jeune Etourdi qui lui dit qu’il se taisoit parce qu’il ètoit fou; Solon, sans s’émouvoir, lui repondit sagement, qu’il ne s’ètoit jamais trouvé de Fou qui pût se taire.

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190

Cambyses a very severe and rigorous King, caus’d a Judge, tho’ his Friend, to be flead alive, because he took Bribes, and did not administer Justice according to Law and Equity: And having afterwards order’d the Judgment-Seat to be cover’d with his Skin, he placed his Son upon it, to succeed his Father in his Employment.

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190

Cambyse Roy fort severe & rigoureux, fit écorcher tout vif un Juge, quoy que son Ami, parce qu’il se laissoit corrompre par Presens, & qu’il n’administroit pas la Justice selon les Loix & l’Equité: Et ayant fait ensuite couvrir le Tribunal de sa Peau, il y fit asseoir son Fils, pour succeder à la charge de son Pere.

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191

Irene repairs with great cost and charge to Epidaurus, visits Æsculapius in his Temple, and consults with him about all her Ailments. First of all she complains, That she is weary, and spent with Fatigue: And the God declares, This is befallen her by the length of her Journey. She says, She has no Stomach at Night; the Oracle prescribes her, To eat but little at Dinner. She asks him, What makes her so heavy, and what Remedy for it? The Oracle answers, She must rise early in the Morning, and use Exercise. She tells him, That Wine is hurtful to her; so the Oracle bids her, To drink Water. That she cannot digest what she eats, and he adds, she must keep a strict Diet. My Sight decays, says Irene; use then Spectacles, says Æsculapius. I grow weak, says she farther, neither am I so healthful as I have been; the reason of it, says the God, is because you grow old. But which way shall I recover my self? The best way, Irene, is to dye, as did your Mother and Grandmother. Is this, answered Irene, all that Wisdom which Mankind proclaims, and which makes you to be reverenced by all the World? What a rare Mystery you learn me? Did I not know before all those Remedies you prescribe? Why then did not you use them, answers the God, Without coming so far to me, and shortning your Days by so long a Journey?

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191

Irene se transporte à grands frais en Epidaure, void Esculape dans son Temple, & le consulte sur tous ses maux. D’abord elle se plaint, Qu’elle est lasse, & recreuë de fatigue; & le Dieu prononce, que cela lui arrive par la longueur du Chemin qu’elle vient de faire. Elle dit, qu’elle est le soir sans appetit. L’Oracle lui ordonne, de diner peu. Elle lui demande, pourquoy elle devient pesante, & quel remede? L’Oracle repond, qu’elle doit se lever de bon matin & prendre de l’exercice. Elle lui declare, que le Vin lui est nuisible; & l’Oracle luî dit, de boire de l’eau. Qu’elle a des indigestions, & il ajoûte, qu’elle fasse Diete. Ma veuë s’affoiblit, dit Irene, Prenez donc des Lunettes, dit Esculape. Je deviens foible, continuë-t-elle, & je ne suis plus si saine que j’ai été. C’est, dit le Dieu, que vous vieillissez. Mais quel moyen de guerir de cette Langueur? Le plus court, Irene, C’est de mourir, comme ont fait vôtre mere, & vôtre ayeule. Est ce-là, repondit Irene, toute cette Science que les hommes publient, & qui vous fait reverer de toute la Terre? que m’apprenez vous de rare & de mysterieux? & ne savois-je pas tous ces remedes que vous m’enseignez? Que n’en usiez vous donc, repondit le Dieu, sans venir me chercher de si loin, & abbreger vos jours par un si long voyage?

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The Ephesian Matron.

192

THere was at Ephesus a Lady in so great repute for Chastity, that the Women of the neighbouring Parts flock’d thither out of curiosity to see her. This discreet Lady upon the Death of her Husband, was not contented to assist at the Funeral, according to Custom, with dishevelled Hair, and beating her Breast before the Assistants, but she must needs follow the deceas’d to the very Monument, and having laid him in a Sepulcher according to the Grecian Manner, watch’d the Corps; and wept over it Night and Day, she was in such Desolation, and so fully resolved to starve her self, that neither Relations nor Friends could persuade her from it. The Magistrates themselves us’d also their endeavours to no purpose, and so gave her over. And now so illustrious a Woman lamented by all, as one that’s dead and gone, had been five Days without tasting any Food. A faithful and affectionate Maid waited still upon this wretched Creature, mingling her Tears with hers, and repairing the light of a Lamp, as often as it happen’d to go out. She was therefore the only Discourse of the City, and every Body confest that this was the greatest instance of Love and Chastity that ever they heard of.

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La Matrone d’Ephese.

192

IL y avoit une Dame à Ephese en si grande reputation de Chasteté, que les Femmes mêmes des Païs Voisins venoient en foule la voir par curiosité. Cette prude ayant perdu son mary ne se contenta pas, selon la coûtume, d’assister au convoy toute échevelée, & de se battre la Poitrine devant le Peuple, elle voulut suivre le défunt jusqu’au Monument, & après l’avoir mis dans un Sepulcre, à la maniere des Grecs, gardé le Corps, & pleuré Nuit & jour auprès de lui, se desolant de la sorte, & resoluë à se laisser mourir de Faim, les Parens ni les Amis ne l’en purent detourner: Les Magistrats rebutez les derniers l’abandonnerent: Et une Femme si illustre, pleurée de tous comme une Personne morte passoit déja le cinquieme jour sans manger. Une Servante fidelle & affectionnée ètoit toûjours auprés de la miserable, meloit ses larmes aux siennes, & renouvelloit la lumiere d’une Lampe toutes les fois qu’elle venoit à s’éteindre. On ne parloit donc d’autre chose dans la Ville, & tout le Monde demeuroit d’accord que c’ètoit le plus grand Exemple d’Amour & de Chasteté qu’on eût jamais veu.

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It happened at that very time that the Governour of the Province caus’d certain Thieves to be crucified near that Vault where the virtuous Lady kept such desperate Mourning over the Corps of her dear Husband. The Night following a Soldier who was set to guard the Crosses, for fear the Bodies should be stollen away, having seen a light in the Tomb, and hearing the Sighs and Complaints of one in Sorrow, out of a curiosity incident to all Men, grew desirous to know what this might be, and what passed there; thereupon he descends into the Monument, and beholding a very beautiful Woman, he stood both amaz’d and frighted, as if it had been a Phantom: But then viewing a dead Body stretched before her, and observing her Face bathed with Tears, and injured by her Nails, with all the other marks of solemn Woe, he judged of the Matter as it was, that an afflicted and disconsolate Woman that was not able to bear her loss, had abandoned her self to Grief and Despair. A moment after he brought his small Supper to the Tomb, and begins to exhort her not to persevere any longer in fruitless Groans and an unprofitable Sorrow; adding withal, that all Men have one common Exit; that we must all come at last to that long Home, and such other Reasons with which we generally use to cure the most distempered Minds. But she still more exasperated by so unexpected a Consolation, redoubles her Grief; tears her Breast with more violence, and pulls off her Hair, which she throws on that woeful Corps. The Soldier is not in the least discouraged by all this, but repeats still the same Exhortations, and endeavours to perswade her to take some Meat, till the Waiting-woman wrought upon, as ’tis probable, as much by the smell of the Wine, as by his Discourse, reach’d her Hand to him who so obligingly invited them, and having recovered some strength with Meat and Drink, began her self to attempt upon her Mistresses obstinacy. And what will your Ladiship get, said she, by starving your self to Death, burying your self alive, and giving up to Destiny that Breath which she does not demand from you?

Il arriva qu’en ce même tems le Gouverneur de la Province fit attacher en croix quelques voleurs tout proche de cette même Cave, où la vertueuse Dame se desoloit sur le Corps de son cher Epoux. La Nuit suivante, comme un Soldat qui gardoit les Croix de peur que les Corps ne fussent enlevez, eût apperceu de la lumiere dans le Monument, & entendu les soupirs & les Plaintes d’une Personne affligée, par un esprit de curiosité commun à tous les hommes, il voulut savoir ce que ce pouvoit être, & ce qu’on y faisoit. Il descend donc au Sepulcre, & surpris de la veüe d’une fort belle Femme, il demeure d’abord épouvanté, comme si c’eût été un Fantôme: Puis ayant veu un Corps mort étendu devant ses yeux, consideré ses larmes, un visage dechiré avec les ongles, & toutes les autres marques de desolation, il s’imagina à la fin ce que c’ètoit; qu’une paure affligée s’abandonnoit aux regrets, & ne pouvoit souffrir sans desespoir la Mort de celui qu’elle avoit perdu. Un Moment après il apporte son petit Souper au Monument, & commence à l’exhorter de ne perseverer pas davantage dans une douleur inutile & des gemissemens superflus; que la sortie de ce Monde ètoit la même pour tous les Hommes; qu’il falloit tous aller en même lieu; & les autres raisons dont on a de coûtume de guerir les Esprits les plus Malades. Mais elle, irritée encore par une consolation si peu attenduë, redouble son deuil: se dechire l’estomac avec plus de violence, & s’arrache les Cheveux qu’elle jette sur ce miserable Corps. Le Soldat ne se rebute point pour cela, & avec les mêmes exhortations il essaye de lui faire prendre quelque nourriture, jusqu’à ce que la Suivante gagnée sans doute par l’odeur du Vin, autant que par son discours, tendit la main à celui qui les invitoit si obligeamment, & comme elle eût repris quelque vigueur par le boire & le manger, elle vint à combattre elle même l’opiniatreté de sa Maitresse. Et que vous servira, dit-elle, de vous laisser mourir de faim, de vous ensevelir toute vive, & de rendre à la Destinée un Ame qu’elle ne redemande pas encore.

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Think you the Ghosts or Ashes of the Dead,

Regard what Tears their Supervivers shed?

What! Do you expect to restore a dead Body to life again, contrary to the Decrees of Nature? Believe me, give over a weakness which Women alone are capable of, and enjoy the sweets of Life as long as you can. This Corps that lies here before you, shews you too too well how precious Life is, and bids you to be more tender of it: Every Body is willing to lend an Ear to one that presses him to eat upon such occasions; and so this Woman, faint and weak by so long an Abstinence, suffer’d her obstinacy to be prevail’d upon, and filled her self with Meat with as greedy an Appetite as the Waiting-woman, who had yielded before. Now, you know that Temptations come generally upon a full Stomach, and those Arms which the Soldier had employ’d to combate her Despair, the same he us’d to attack her Chastity: And the young Widow seeing he was neither disagreeable nor without Wit, the Waiting-woman still playing her Part to further his design, and then repeating to her Mistress ever and anon,

What will you still a pleasing Love withstand?

What makes me keep you any longer in suspence? The good Lady us’d the same Abstinence as to the other Part of her Body, and the Soldier fully satisfied, remained conquerour of both. Thus they continued together not only the first Night, but also the next Day, and the Day after that; the entrance of the Tomb being all this while so well closed, that had any body come to it, they must needs have supposed that the most honest Woman in the World had expired over her dear Husband.

Pensez vous que des Morts les insensibles Cendres,

Vous demandent des Pleurs & des Regrets si tendres?

Quoi! vous voulez ressusciter un Mort contre l’ordre de la Nature? croyez moi, defaites vous d’une foiblesse dont les seules Femmes sont capables & jouïssez des avantages de la lumiere tant qu’il vous sera permis. Ce Corps que vous voyez devant vous, montre assez le prix de la Vie, & vous avertit que vous devez mieux la menager. Personne n’écoute à regret quand on le presse de manger en de pareilles occasions. Ainsi cette Femme extenüée par une si longue astinence, laissa vaincre son obstination, & se remplit de viande avec la même avidité que la suivante, qui s’ètoit renduë auparavant. Au reste vous savez que les Tentations viennent d’ordinaire après le repas: Avec les mêmes Armes qu’employa le Soldat pour combattre son desespoir, avec les mêmes il attaqua sa Pudicité, & la jeune Veuve ne le trouvant ni desagréable, ni sans esprit, la suivante n’oubliant rien pour lui rendre de bons Offices, & disant ensuite à sa Maîtresse.

Songez, songez, à vous: voyez vôtre intérêt,

Et ne combattez, pas un Amour qui vous plait.

Qui m’arrête davantage? la bonne Dame eût la même Abstinence en ce qui regarde cette Partie de son Corps, & le Soldat pleinement satisfait vint à bout de l’un & de l’autre. Ils demeurerent ensemble non seulement la premiere nuit de leur jouïssance, mais encore le lendemain, & le jour d’après, les portes si bien fermées, que quiconque fut venu au monument, soit connu ou inconnu, auroit cru, sans doute, que la plus honnête Femme du Monde avoit expiré sur le Corps de son Mari.

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The Soldier charm’d with the Beauty of his Lady, and the secrecy of his amourous Intreague, bought Provisions as far his small stock would let him, and brought them to the Tomb assoon as Night begun to approach. In the mean time the Relations of one of those that hang’d on the Gibbets, perceiving that there was no Guard to look after them, took down the Corps one Night and buried it. As for the poor Soldier detain’d from his Duty by the Allurements of his Pleasure, seeing the next day one of those Crosses with out its Carcase, he went to his Mistress full of apprehension of Punishment, and told her what had happened: That for his part he would not wait his Condemnation, but was resolv’d to do himself Justice, and punish immediately his neglect with his own Hand: That the only favour he begg’d of her was to take care of his Burial, and bestow it upon him in the same Sepulcher, equally fatal to her Husband and her Lover. The good Dame no less charitable than discreet: Oh! may the Gods forbid, said she, that I should live to see at once the Funeral of two Persons so very dear to me, I have rather hang the Dead than be the ruin of the Living. Then according to this fine Speech, she takes the Corps out of the Coffin, and having disfigur’d its Face, gives it him, in order to fix it to the empty Cross. The Soldier was so wise as to improve the ingenious Advice of so prudent a Woman: And the next Day all the People admired which way the dead Thief was got again upon his Cross,

Le Soldat charmé de la beauté de sa Dame, & du secret de sa bonne Fortune, achetoit tout ce que son peu de bien lui pouvoit permettre, & à peine la nuit ètoit elle venuë, qu’il l’apportoit dans le monument. Cependant les Parens d’un de ces Pendus, comme ils s’apperceurent qu’il n’y avoit plus de Garde, enleverent le Corps une nuit, & lui rendirent les derniers devoirs. Mais le pauvre Soldat qui s’ètoit laissé abuser pour demeurer trop long tems attaché à son plaisir, voyant le lendemain une de ces Croix sans cadavre, alla trouver sa Maîtresse dans la crainte du supplice, & lui conta tout ce qui ètoit arrivé: quant au reste, il ètoit resolu de ne point attendre sa condamnation, & que se faisant justice lui même, il alloit punir sa negligence de sa propre main; Pour toute grace, qu’il la supplioit d’avoir soin de sa Sepulture & de la lui preparer en ce même tombeau fatal à son Epoux & à son Amant. Cette Femme aussi charitable que Prude, & aux Dieux ne plaise, dit-elle, que je voye en même tems les funerailles de deux personnes qui me sont si cheres; j’aime mieux pendre le Mort, que de faire perir le vivant. Selon ce beau discours elle tire le Corps de la Biere, lui defigure le visage, & le donne au Soldat pour l’attacher à cette croix où il n’y avoit plus rien. Le Soldat seut profiter du conseil ingenieux d’une Femme si avisée: & le lendemain tout le Peuple s’étonna de quelle maniere le Voleur mort avoit pu retourner au Gibet.

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A Story taken out of Apuleius’s Golden Ass.

193

A Labouring Man that workt hard for his Livelyhood at the Forges, had a very handsom Wife, tho’ none of the most virtuous. This Poor wretch going out one Morning as he us’d to do, gave opportunity to an extravagant young Blade to slip into his House, where being in close conflict with his Wife, the Husband unexpectedly return’d, but finding the door fast, little suspected what had been done in his absence; he therefore within himself began to extol his Wives Chastity, and by a Whistle gave her notice of his coming. She in Cases of this Nature, being not a little Politick, soon disengaged her self from her Sparks embraces, and with a great deal of unconcern, hid him in an old empty Tub that stood in the corner of the Room; which done, opening the Door in a fury, she accosted her Cuckold after this manner.

Conte tiré de l’Ane d’Or d’Apulée.

193

UN Ouvrier qui gagnoit sa vie à travailler aux Forges, avoit une Femme fort belle, mais qui n’ètoit pas des plus vertueuses. Ce pauvre malheureux ètant un jour sorti de bon matin, selon sa coûtume, donna occasion à un jeune Gaillard de se glisser dans sa Maison, où êtant aux prises avec sa femme, le Mari survint contre leur attente, mais trouvant la porte fermée, il ne se douta guere de ce qui s’ètoit passé en son absence. La dessus il loüa en soi même la chasteté de sa Femme, & avec un siflet l’avertit de son arrivée Elle, qui en pareilles occasions ne manquoit pas de Politique, se degagea bientôt des bras de son Amant, & sans s’émouvoir le cacha dans un vieux cuvier vuide, qui ètoit dans un coin de la chambre: cela fait, ouvrant la porte avec furie, elle parla à son mari de cette maniere.

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Is it thus, thou senseless Drone, that thou providest for the wants of thy Family? thus sauntering with Arms across, whilst I must labour both Day and Night to supply the wants occasion’d by thy Idleness: Oh! how much happier is my Neighbour Daphne, who has nothing else to do but be merry with her Lovers?

To which the frighted Husband reply’d, What great harm is there, poor Chicken? tho’ our Master has no work for me to Day, by reason of attending his Law-business, yet I have provided for thy Dinner? Do’st thou see that old Tub there, that serves for nothing but to encumber our Room, why I have sold it, Honey, for Fifteen-pence, and the Man that bought it will be here presently to fetch it away. Come, lay aside thy Work and help me to cleanse it, for I would not by any means but deliver it sweet and wholsom into his Hands.

Est-ce ainsi, sot lendore, que tu pourvois aux besoins de ta famille? Et que pendant que tu vas de la sorte les bras croisez il faut que je travaille jour & nuit pour supléer aux besoins où nous sommes réduits par ta paresse? Oh! combien plus heureuse que moy, est ma Voisine Daphné, qui n’a autre chose à faire qu’à se divertir avec ses Amans.

A quoi le mari tout craintif repliqua: & quel grand mal y a-t-il, m’Amie? quoi que mon Maître n’ait point d’ouvrage pour moy d’aujourd’huy, je ne laisse pas d’avoir pourveu à ton Diner. Vois-tu ce vieux cuvier, qui ne sert à rien qu’à embarrasser la chambre? je viens, ma poupone, de le vendre pour quinze Sols & l’homme qui l’a acheté, va venir ici tout presentement pour l’emporter. Allons, laisse là un peu ton ouvrage, & aide moi à le nettoyer, car je ne voudrois pas pour quoi que ce soit, le lui livrer avant qu’il soit net & en bon état.

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Hereat the Wife began to laugh heartily, and being furnish’d with a Stratagem from the occasion, cry’d out, bless me! what a rare Stock-jobber have I got to my Husband, that could find in his Heart to let that go for 15 Pence, which I, tho’ a Woman, that never stirs abroad, have made shift to get half a Crown for. The Husband not a little pleased with his Wife’s Bargain, forthwith demanded what Sot it was that had offer’d so much? A Codshead you may be sure, reply’d the Wife, and to prove him such, he is just now got into it to see what Profit he is like to make. Here the Gallant finding his Cue, peep’d out, and cry’d, good Woman, would you have me tell you the Truth? this Tub is exceeding old, and very full of Cracks, you ought not in Conscience to have so much for it as I bid you. Then turning to her Husband, quoth he cunningly, and you, honest Man, whosoever you are, Prythee lend me a Candle a little, that I may scrape out the filth, and know whether it be for my turn or no, before I pay my Money, if you think I come honestly by it. Hereupon our subtile Vulcan, little dreaming of the design upon him, presently fetch’d a Candle, and coming up to him said, Prythee stand aside a little, Friend, and let me see what I can do, for ’tis but reason you should have it as clean as may be: Then stripping himself, and delivering the Candle to his Wife, he crept into the Tub, and begun to work amain on the dry’d Lees, whilst the crafty Lover did as much on his Confort, whom he had laid athwart the Vessel.

Là dessus la Femme se mit à rire de bon appetit, & l’occasion lui fournissant un Stratageme, elle s’écria Misericorde! voilà un rare Marchand que mon mari, qui a seu vendre pour quinze Sols, une chose dont j’ai eu un demi-écu, quoy que je ne sois qu’une femme qui ne sors jamais du logis.

Le mari ravi du marché de sa Femme, lui demanda d’abord qui ètoit le sot qui en avoit tant offert; quelque Benet comme vous pouvez croire, reprit la Femme, & pour preuve de cela, c’est qu’il vient de s’y fourrer pour voir le profit qu’il lui en reviendra. A ces Mots, le Galand, voyant qu’il ètoit tems qu’il joüât son Rolle mit la tête dehors, & dit: Bonne Femme, voulez vous que je vous parle franchement, ce cuvier est fort vieux & plein de fentes, & vous ne devez pas en Conscience en avoir ce que je vous en ai offert: Ensuite se tournant du côté du mari, il lui dit finement, & vous, mon ami, qui que vous soyez, je vous prie, donnez moy un peu une Chandelle, afin que je racle les ordures, & que je voye s’il fait pour moy, avant que j’en paye l’Argent, à moins que vous ne croyez que je l’aye derobé. Là dessus nôtre adroit Vulcain, ne songeant guere à ce qu’on meditoit contre lui, alla vîte chercher une Chandelle, & s’ètant approché de lui, il lui dit: Mon ami, ôte toi un peu de la, je te prie, & laisse moy voir ce que j’y puis faire, car il n’est que trop juste que tu l’ayes aussi net qu’il se pourra: ensuite ôtant son habit, & donnant la Chandelle à tenir à sa Femme, il entra dans le Cuvier, & se mit à travailler de toute sa force sur la lie seche, pendant que le rusé Galand en faisoit autant sur sa Femme, qu’il avoit couchée sur le cuvier.

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All this while the good Woman, leaning over her Head to light her Husband, amus’d the poor Man by shewing him that here and there and there were places to be cleans’d. But at length both labours being ended, the contented Cuckold having receiv’d the half Crown, thought himself further oblig’d to take the Hogshead on his Back, and carry it to his Friends House.

Cependant la bonne Femme, baissant la tête pour éclairer son mari, amusoit le pauvre homme en lui montrant plusieurs endroits qui avoit besoin d’être nettoyez. Mais enfin le travail de l’un & de l’autre étant fini, le cocu content, après avoir receu le demi écu, se crut encore obligé de charger le cuvier sur son dos, & de le porter chez son Ami.

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A Story taken out of Theophilus.

194

LArissa lov’d to tell Stories, and being one Day in Company, she was pleas’d to entertain them with the follies of her Youth, in this manner,

Conte tiré de Théophile.

194

LArisse aimoit à conter, & se trouvant un jour en compagnie, elle voulut bien leur parler des folies de sa jeunesse, & le fit ainsi.

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I served once a Roman Citizen, together with a young Grecian Slave, whom the Storm had also oblig’d to serve, tho’ born Free. Nature had engraven in the Face of this young Man all the marks of Nobleness, and of that good Education which he ow’d to his Birth and the care of his Parents; and one might easily see that he was not born for the Condition to which his hard Fortune had reduc’d him; if he was to carry any Burden, he sunk under the lightest; yet he would needs do every thing, and forgot his Birth, to adapt himself to the present State of his Fortune. But not being able to bear hard labour, nor the course Food of Servants, he grew insensibly very weak, and neglected himself to that degree, that he did not so much as comb his Hair, which was the finest in the World. In a little time he became lean and full of Wrinckles, his Eyes grew hollow and languishing, his Hands black and course; in fine, he was not the same Man: Melancholy had sunk his Spirit, as much as Fatigue had impair’d his Health. he figh’d often, and his affliction mov’d my Pity; I thought Fortune was very unjust to him; I endeavoured to comfort him under it; wept for his Misfortunes; taught him what he must do, and did part of it my self to ease him. His wretched state did not take away from him a noble Air, and I know not what preheminence over my Birth, which made me sensible of the difference of his, to which I willingly submitted. He knew well enough how much he was oblig’d to me, and return’d me thanks with the politeness of a Courtier. In short, I was so much affected with those Accomplishments, that thinking I had only Pity for his Misfortunes, I found my self in Love with his Person; and indeed I lov’d him desperately.

Je servois chez un Citoyen Romain avec un jeune Grec son Esclave, que la tempête avoit obligé de servir aussi, quoi que né libre. La nature avoit mis sur le visage de ce jeune homme toutes les marques de la noblesse & de la bonne éducation qu’il devoit à sa naissance & aux soins de ses Parens; et on voyoit bien qu’il n’étoit pas né pour l’état où son malheur l’avoit reduit; s’il falloit porter quelque fardeau, il succomboit aux plus legers: Cependant il vouloit tout faire, & il oublioit sa naissance, pour tâcher de s’accommoder à l’état present de la Fortune. Mais ne pouvant resister à la fatigue, ni à la nourriture de valet, il tomba peu à peu dans un grand abbatement, & il se negligeoit à un point qu’il ne peignoit pas même les plus beaux cheveux du monde qu’il avoit. En peu de temps il devint maigre & ridé, il eut les yeux cavez & languissans; les mains noires & pleines de calus: enfin il n’étoit plus reconnoissable. La tristesse lui avoit abbatu l’esprit, autant que la fatigue lui avoit alteré la santé. Il soûpiroit souvent; & son affliction me faisoit pitié; Je trouvois la fortune bien injuste à son egard; je l’exhortois à se consoler; je pleurois ses malheurs, je lui apprenois ses fonctions, & je le soulageois même de quelques-unes. Sa misere ne lui ôtoit pas un air noble, & je ne sçai quelle superiorité sur ma naissance, qui me faisoit sentir la difference de la sienne, à laquelle je me soûmetois volontiers. Il sentoit bien les obligations qu’il m’avoit & il m’en remercioit avec la politesse d’un homme de la Cour. Enfin toutes ces bonnes qualitez me toucherent si fort, que ne croyant avoir que de la pitié pour ses malheurs, je me trouvai de l’amour dans le cœur pour sa personne, & je l’aimai éperdument.

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This Story of Larissa had drawn to her the attention of the whole Company, but especially of two young Maidens, who counterfeited sleep, lest decency should oblige them to retire, if they seem’d to hear what she said. One of them having open’d her Eyes, and cast them upon Larissa, as tho’ it were by Chance, closed them again immediately. As for the other, making as if she was just awake, is it Day already? Said she, with a blush. The Company took notice of their cunning, and fell a laughing; in the mean time Larissa had done speaking, alledging that she was unwilling to go through with this Adventure, for fear of making the young Ladies uneasy, and begun to threaten the Company with some old and grave Stories. But Eugenius impatient to know the rest of this Tale, Alass! Larissa, said he, these young Maids have all this while counterfeited sleep only to hear you speak with more liberty; and I assure you, they long more than any of us to know the end of your Story. Go on I beseech you, said he embracing her. She consented, promis’d to end the Story as modestly as possible, and calling the young Maids she told them.

Tho’ Maids be tied to Modesty,

Yet youth allows some Liberty.

And thus resum’d her Discourse.

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Larisse par ce conte, avoit attiré l’attention de toute la compagnie, mais sur tout de deux jeunes Filles qui faisoient semblant de dormir de peur que la Bienseance ne les obligeat de se retirer si elles paroissoient entendre ce qu’elle disoit; l’une d’elles ayant ouvert les yeux pour regarder Larisse, comme si c’eut été sans dessein, les referma aussi-tôt. Pour l’autre, faisant semblant de se reveiller: Est-il déja jour? dit elle, & rougit en le disant. La compagnie connût leurs finesses, & s’en réjouit fort. Cependant Larisse avoit cessé de parler, disant qu’elle ne vouloit pas achever le recit de cette avanture, de peur de faire de la peine à ces jeunes Filles & elle menaçoit la compagnie de quelques vieilles Histoires serieuses; Mais Eugene impatient de scavoir le reste du conte: Hé Larisse lui dit-il, ces jeunes Filles n’ont fait semblant de dormir, que pour vous écouter avec plus de liberté: je vous assure qu’elles ont plus d’envie que pas un de nous de scavoir la fin de vôtre histoire. Continuez, je vous en conjure, lui dit-il en l’embrassant. Elle y consentit, promit d’achever le conte le plus modestement qu’elle pourroit; & faisant approcher d’elle les jeunes filles leur dit,

Il est permis aux jeunes gens

De n’ètre pas toûjours si Sages.

Et recommenca ainsi à parler:

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One while I complained of Love, and another while I pray’d to him: Great God, said I often to him, either cure me or make me belov’d of him I love. All this while I could neither eat nor sleep. Gison, (for that was the name of my Dear) recover’d his Beauty every Day; for Time, which conquers all, had alleviated his Sorrows. For my part, I was no more the same Woman, and the more Glison’s charms encreas’d, the more my secret Passion alter’d my Mind, my Face and Humour. I had not the assurance of disclosing my Passion, and yet was mad to conceal it: As for Glison he was unacquainted with my Disease; he was sorry for me, and only repaid with thankfulness the Obligations he had to me, and contented himself to ease me in my Business of a Slave, as I had done him in his. But at last being no longer Mistress of my Passion, I saw my self forc’d to discover it; therefore upon a Friday, Oh! happy Day, which I shall never forget, having found Glison upon my Bed, where he used sometimes to take his Repose after Dinner, I desired him, melting into Tears, to take pity on me. He granted my request, and seem’d very well pleas’d to have sav’d my Life.

Tantôt je me plaignois de l’Amour, & tantôt je le priois. Grand Dieu, lui disois-je souvent, ou gueris moi, ou me fais aimer de ce que j’aime. Cependant je ne mangeois, ni ne dormois plus. La beauté de Glison, c’ètoit le nom de celui que j’aimois, revenoit tous les jours; car le temps, qui vient à bout de tour, avoit addouci ses chagrins. Pour moi je n’ètoit plus reconnoissable & plus les agrémens de Glison augmentoient, plus ma passion secrette changeoit mon esprit, mon Visage, & mon humeur. Je n’osois decouvrir mon Amour, & j’ètois au desespoir de le taire: mais Glison ne connoissoit pas mon mal. Il me plaignoit, & payoit de reconnoissance seulement les obligations qu’il m’avoit, & se contentoit de me soulager de mes devoirs d’esclave, comme je l’avois soulagé dans les siens. Mais enfin ne me trouvant plus Maîtresse de mon Amour, je vis bien qu’il faloit me declarer. Un Vendredy donc, ô jour heureux! que je n’oublierai jamais, ayant trouvé Glison sur mon lit, où il se reposoit quelquefois après diné, je le priai en fondant en larmes d’avoir pitié de moi, il ne s’en defendit pas, & me parût fort aise de m’avoir sauvé la Vie.

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Now you, my Children, be merry whilst youth permits you; for the remembrance of past Pleasures will be the only ones of your old Age.

Vous autres, mes Enfans, rejouissez vous pendant que l’âge vous le permet. Le souvenir des plaisirs passez seront les seuls de vôtre Vieillesse.

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The ingenious Thoughts, noble Sentiments, Jests and witty Reparties of the

MODERNS.

With some pleasant

STORIES,

ENGLISH and FRENCH.

1

HEnry the Eighth King of England, being at odds with Francis I. King of France, resolv’d to send him an Ambassadour with a very haughty and threatning Message, and to that purpose made choice of Bishop Bonner, in whom he reposed great Confidence. The Bishop told him, that his Life would be in great danger, if he should offer such Language to so high-spirited a King as Francis the First. Be not afraid, said Henry VIII. for should the French King put you to Death, I would take off many a Head of those French Men that are here in my Power: I believe so, answer’d the Bishop, but of all those Heads, added he with smile, none would fit my Shoulders so well as this, pointing to his own. This witty answer pleased the King, and made him reform the Instructions of his Ambassador.

chapter

Les Pensees ingenieuses, nobles Sentimens, Bons Mots, & Reparties fines des

MODERNES.

Avec quelques

CONTES

Plaisans.

En ANGLOIS & en FRANÇOIS.

1

HEnry VIII. Roy d’Angleterre, ayant des demelez avec François I. Roy de France, resolut de lui envoyer un Ambassadeur, & de le charger de plusieurs paroles fieres & menaçantes, & choisit pour cét employ l’Evêque Bonner, en qui il avoit beaucoup de confiance; cét Eveque lui representa que sa vie seroit en grand danger, s’il tenoit de pareils discours à un Roy aussi fier qu’ètoit le Roy François Premier: Ne craignez rien lui dit Henry VIII. Si le Roy de France vous faisoit mourir, je ferois abbatre bien de têtes à quantité de François, qui sont ici en ma puissance; je le crois, répondit l’Eveque, Mais de toutes ces têtes, ajoûta t-il en riant, il n’y en a pas une qui vint si bien sur mes Epaules que celle-cy, en lui montrant la sienne. Cette reponse agréable pût au Roy, & l’obligea à reformer l’instruction de son Ambassadeur.

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2

Sir Thomas More, a famous Chancellor of England, seeing in Prison by Henry the Eights Order, let both his Hair and Beard grow; and as a Barber came to trim him, Friend, said he, the King and I have a Suit for my Head, and I’ll spend no cost upon the trimming of it, till I know which of us is to have the disposal of it.

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2

Le Chevalier Thomas More, fameux Chancelier d’Angleterre, ètant en Prison par l’ordre de Henry VIII laissa croitre ses cheveux & sa barbe; & comme un Barbier, se presenta pour les lui couper & pour le razer, Mon Ami, lui dit-il, Nous avons le Roy & moy un Procez pour ma tête, & je ne veux faire aucune depense pour l’ajuster, que je ne sache qui de nous deux en doit disposer.

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3

Bacon, another renown’d Chancellor of England, received a Visit from Queen Elizabeth at a Country House which he had built before his Preferment: How is it, said the Queen to him, that you have built so little a House? Madam, reply’d the Chancellor, it is not I that made my House too little, but your Majesty that made me too great for my House. Besides the Wit and Pleasantness of this answer, it carries with it such an Air of Modesty and Gratitude as ought to recommend it to our esteem.

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3

Bacon, autre célébre Chancelier d’Angleterre, fut visité par la Reine Elizabeth, dans une Maison de Campagne qu’il avoit fait bâtir devant sa Fortune, D’où vient, lui dit la Reine, que vous avez fait une si petite Maison? Ce n’est pas moy, Madame, reprit le Chancelier, qui ai fait ma Maison trop petite, mais c’est vôtre Majesté qui m’a fait trop grand pour ma Maison. Outre l’Esprit & l’agrément de cette réponse, elle marque une Modestie & une Reconnoissance qui doivent la faire estimer.

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4

In Spain Love seems to be the only business of Life; whereas what they call Love in France, is most commonly nothing but speaking of Love, and adding to the Sentiments of Ambition the Vanity of amorous Intrigues: Wherefore a Spanish Lady, reading not long since the Romance of Cleopatra, and after a long recital of Adventures being come to a nice and tender Conversation between a Lover and his Mistress, both passionately in Love: Bless me, said she, how much Wit is here lost, to what purpose are all these fine Speeches when they are together and alone?

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4

En Espagne il semble qu’on ne vive que pour aimer: Au lieu que ce qu’on appelle aimer en France, n’est le plus souvent que parler d’Amour, & ajoûter aux sentiments de l’Ambition, la vanité des Galanteries. D’où vient qu’une Femme de qualité Espagnole lisant, il n’y a pas long tems, le Roman de Cleopatre, & aprés un long recit d’Avantures, ètant tombée sur une Conversation delicate d’un Amant & d’une Amante, également passionnez, Que d’Esprit mal employé, dit-elle, à quoi bon tous ces beaux discours quand ils sont ensemble & qu’ils sont seuls?

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5

A Spanish Lady young and beautiful, went to confess to a Friar of that Country. The Father Confessor after many Questions about the Heads of her Confession, grew desirous to be acquainted with her, and askt what her Name was. The Lady who felt no Temptation to gratify his Curiosity, answered, Father, my Name is no Sin.

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5

Une Dame Espagnole, jeune & bien faite alla à confesse à un Religieux de son Païs. Le Confesseur aprés lui avoir fait plusieurs questions sur les matieres de sa Confession, devint curieux de la connoître & lui demanda son nom. La Dame, qui ne se sentit point tentée de satisfaire sa curiosité, lui répondit, Mon Pere, mon nom n’est pas un Peché.

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6

Another Spanish Lady went to the Church belonging to a Monastery of Friars, in order to Confess, and finding a Friar of that House alone in one of the Chappels, she kneeled down by him, and told him all her Sins; and as he answered nothing, she askt him his Absolution. I cannot give it you, said the Friar, for I am no Priest. You are no Priest? said the Lady, very much surpriz’d, and in a great Passion: No, Madam, answer’d coldly the Friar. Well, reply’d she, I go and complain of you to your Superiour, for hearing my Confession: And I, return’d the Friar, I go and tell News of you to your Husband. Whereupon, being entred upon a compensation of Threatnings, they parted upon even Terms; the Lady having wisely considered that it was not for her interest that this Adventure should be made publick.

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6

Une autre Dame Espagnole alla dans une Eglise de Religieux à dessein de s’y confesser & trouvant un Religieux de cette Maison, qui ètoit alors seul dans une Chapelle, Elle se mit à genoux auprés de lui, & lui dit tous ses pechez: Et comme il ne lui repondit rien, elle lui demanda ensuite l’Absolution. Je ne puis pas vous la donner, lui dit le Religieux, car je ne suis pas Prêtre. Vous n’étes pas Prêtre? lui dit la Dame fort surprise & fort en colere: Non, Madame, lui repondit froidement le Religieux. Je vais, lui repliqua-t-elle me plaindre à vôtre Supérieur de ce que vous avez entendu ma Confession. Et moy, lui repartit le Religieux, je vais dire de vos nouvelles à vôtre Mari. Surquoy étant entrez en compensation de menaces, ils se separerent but à but, la Dame ayant jugé sagement, qu’il n’ètoit pas de son intérêt de divulguer cette Avanture.

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7

The Count of Orgaz, a Grandee of Spain, being willing to have with him a Man of Learning for the Pleasure of Conversation, one of his Friends presented him one, of whom he ask’d at first sight, whether he could make Verses? The Scholar answer’d, he might judge of it by the Composures he would shew him of his own making, and so the next Day brought him many Romances or Ballads, and other Spanish Poems of all Kinds. The Grandee having read them over, told his Friend, this Man did not fit him: And why, ask’d his Friend, Because, reply’d he, I hold that Man for a Dunce that can’t make two Verses, and for a Fool, him that makes four. The Spanish runs thus, Tengo por necio al que no sabe hazer una copla, y por loco al que haze dos.

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7

Le Comte d’Orgaz, Grand d’Espagne, voulant avoir auprés de lui un homme de Lettres pour le plaisir de la Conversation, un de ses Amis lui en presenta un à qui il demanda d’abord s’il savoit faire des Vers? L’homme de Lettres lui repondit qu’il en jugeroit par les Ouvrages qu’il lui feroit voir de sa façon: Et il lui apporta le lendemain quantité de Romances, & d’autres Poësies Espagnolles de toutes les especes. Le Grand d’Espagne après les avoir leües, dit à son Ami que cét Homme ne l’accommodoit pas: Et pourquoi? lui demanda son Ami; C’est, repliqua-t-il, que je tiens pour sot celui qui ne sait pas faire deux Vers, & pour fou celui qui en fait quatre. En Espagnol, Tengo por necio al que no sabe hazer una copla, por loco al que haze dos.

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8

A Chymist having dedicated to Pope Leo X. a Book; wherein he pretended to teach the way of making Gold, expected to receive a magnificent Present: But the Pope sent him only a great empty Purse, with this Complement, That since he knew how to make Gold, he wanted but something to put it in.

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8

Un Chymiste ayant dedié au Pape Leon X. un Livre où il se vantoit d’apprendre la maniere de faire de l’Or, s’attendoit à recevoir un magnifique Present: Mais le Pape ne lui envoya qu’une grande Bourse toute vuide, & lui fit dire, Que puis qu’il savoit faire de l’Or, il n’avoit besoin que d’un lieu pour le mettre.

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9

A Gentleman of the Court of France, went to one of his Friends to wish him joy about a Dignity to which he was lately raised: This Man puffed up with his new Preferment, ask’d who he was? the other, without discomposing himself, speaks to another tune, and tells him, That he came to condole the Misfortune that had befallen him, and that he was extreme sorry to see him both Deaf and Blind, since he knew not his best Friends.

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9

Un Galant homme de la Cour de France alla chez un de ses Amis pour le feliciter d’une dignité qu’il avoit obtenuë depuis peu: Celui-ci tout fier de sa nouvelle élevation demanda qui il ètoit? l’autre sans se deconcerter, change de langage, & lui dit, Qu’il venoit lui témoigner la douleur qu’il avoit du malheur qui lui ètoit arrivé & qu’il ètoit fort touché de le voir sourd & aveugle, puis qu’il ne reconnoissoit plus ses meilleurs Amis.

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10

A bad Italian Preacher made one Day a Sermon upon the Panegyrick of a Saint, and in the heat of his Discourse ask’d with a great Motion, where shall I place my Saint? Where shall I place my Saint? A merry Fellow who happen’d to be one of his Hearers, being tired with his Preaching, resolv’d to be gone, and cry’d to him in a loud Voice: Here is my room that I leave for him.

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10

Un méchant Prédicateur Italien préchoit un jour le Panegyrique d’un Saint, & ètant dans l’ardeur de son Discours, il demandoit avec beaucoup d’emotion où mettrai-je mon Saint? où mettrai-je mon Saint? un Plaisant qui ètoit dans son Auditoire, ennuyé de sa Predication, resolut de s’en aller, & lui cria tout haut: Voilà ma place que je lui laisse.

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11

The famous Moliere being dead, many Poetasters writ Epitaphs upon him. One of them went one Day and presented one of his own making to a Prince much renown’d for his Wit: Would to God, Sir, said the Prince, receiving the Epitaph, that Moliere presented me yours.

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11

Quand le fameux Moliere fut mort, plusieurs mauvais Poëtes lui firent des Epitaphes. Un d’entr’eux, alla un jour en presenter une de sa façon à un Prince fort célébre par son Esprit: Plût à Dieu, Monsieur, lui dit le Prince en la recevant, que Moliere me presentât la vôtre.

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12

A French Courtier was suspected of defect, but would never own it; one Day meeting the Poet Benserade, who had often jeer’d him about it; Sir, said he, for all your silly Jests, my Wife was brought to Bed two Days ago: Faith, Sir, reply’d Benserade, I never questioned your Wife.

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12

Un homme de la Cour de France ètoit soupconné d’être impuissant, & ne vouloit jamais demeurer d’accord qu’il le fût; il rencontra un jour le Poëte Benserade, qui l’avoit souvent raillé là dessus. Monsieur, lui dit il, nonobstant toutes vos mauvaises Plaisanteras, ma Femme est accouchée depuis deux jours: Hé, Monsieur, lui repliqua Benserade, on n’a jamais douté de vôtre Femme.

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13

A petty Prince of Italy being informed that a French Gentleman who was at his Court, had made a jest of him and his designs, sent one to bid him depart his Dominions within three Days: He does me too great a Favour, answered the French Man, in granting me so much time: I don’t want above three quarters of an Hour to obey him.

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13

Un petit Prince d’Italie ayant appris qu’un Gentilhomme François qui ètoit en sa Cour, avoit fait quelques railleries de lui & de ses desseins, lui envoya dire qu’il eût à sortir dans trois jours de ses ètats. Il me fait trop de Grace, repondit le François, de m’accorder un si long terme: Je n’ai pas besoin de plus de trois quarts d’heure pour lui obeïr.

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14

The Mother of a young wanton Lady designed to send her to the Nunnery of the Repenting-Maids: I am not of that Mind, said a Lady of her Relations; and why? askt the Mother, Because she’s neither, answer’d th’other.

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14

La Mere d’une Demoiselle jeune & coquette vouloit l’envoyer au Convent des Filles Repenties. Je n’en suis pas d’avis, dit une Dame de ses Parentes, & pourquoi? lui demanda la Mere: C’est, repondit-elle, parce qu’elle n’est ni l’une ni l’autre.

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15

The French King said some Days ago to Racine and (Boileau) Despreaux, I am sorry you did not come to this last Campaign, for you had seen the War, and your Journey had not been long: Sir, answer’d Racine, we had no Cloaths but for the Town, and bespoke some for the Camp; but those Places you attackt were sooner taken than our Cloaths made.

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15

Le Roy de France dit il y a quelques jours à Racine & à Despreaux, je suis fâché que vous ne soyez venus à cette derniere Campagne, vous auriez veu la Guerre, & vôtre voyage n’eût pas été long. Racine lui repondit, Sire, nous n’avions que des habits de Ville, nous en commandâmes de Compagne, mais les Places que vous attaquez, furent plûtot prises que nos habits ne furent faits.

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16

Three Gentlemen playing together, a mad Bull ran into the Place where they were: So one hid himself under a Bed, another went into a Hogshead, and the third under an Asses Pack-saddle. Now as they told their Friends how they escaped, they all laugh’d at him who had hid himself under the Packsaddle; but one of them said: Truly he was in the right on’t, for he had a mind to die with his Cloaths on.

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16

Trois Gentilhommes ètant à joüer ensemble, un Taureau en fureur entra dans le lieu oû ils ètoient: l’un se cacha sous un lit, l’autre se mit dans un Tonneau, & le troisieme sous le Bât d’un Ane. Comme ils racontoient à leurs Amis de quelle maniere ils ètoient èchappez, tous se mocquerent de celui qui s’ètoit caché sous le Bât; mais il y en eut un qui dit: Il avoit asseurément raison d’avoir voulu mourir avec son habit.

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17

One ask’d an old Man what he had done to live to so great an Age; answer’d he, when I could sit I never stood, I married late, was soon a Widower, and never married again.

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17

Un homme demandoit à un vieillard comment il avoit fait pour vivre si long tems: Il lui repondit, pouvant être assis, je ne me suis point tenu debout; je me suis marié fort tard, j’ai été bien tôt veuf, & je ne me suis point remarié.

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18

A Fellow whom the Hangman whipt through a Town, walked so softly that one of the Spectators came near him and told him: Thou Wretch! thou goest so slowly, that thou wilt have many a lash to tell before thou comest to thy journies end: Go, mend thy pace, that thou may’st the sooner get out of this Torment and Ignominy. The Malefactor answer’d him: When thou art whipt, thou may’st go as thou thinkest fit, for my own part, I will go at my ease,

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18

Un Malheureux que le Bourreau foüettoit dans une Ville alloit si doucement qu’un des Spectateurs s’approcha & lui dit: Miserable, tu vas si lentement que tu en compteras de belles, avant que tu sois à la fin de ton voyage; marche, double le pas, pour sortir, au plus vite de ce supplice & de cette honte. Le Patient lui repondit, quand tu seras foüetté tu iras comme il te plaira, pour moy, je veux aller à mon aise.

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19

A Man of Perusa was in great despair, and melted into Tears, because his Wife had hang’d herself on a Fig-tree that was in his Yard. One of his Neighbours seeing him in this sad Condition, came to him, and whisper’d softly in his Ear: What a Fool thou art to grieve at this rate, when thou hast so much reason to rejoyce, prithee give me a slip of that Fig-tree, that I may set it in my Garden to try what my Wife will do.

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19

Un homme de Perouse se desesperoit & fondoit en pleurs de ce que sa Femme s’ètoit penduë à un Figuier qui ètoit dans sa Cour. Un de ses Voisins le voyant dans ce triste ètat, s’approcha de lui, & lui dit tout doucement à l’Oreille: Que tu es fou, de affliger ainsi lors que tu as tant de sujet de te rejouir! donne moy, je te prie, un rejetton de ce Figuier, afin que je le plante dans mon jardin, pour voir ce que ma Femme sait faire.

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20

Laurence, Prince Palatine, found fault with the Emperour Sigismundus, because instead of putting to Death his conquered Enemies, he loaded them with Favours, and put them in a Condition to hurt him: Why! don’t I put them to Death, said he, when I make their hatred cease, and gain their Friendship?

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20

Laurent, Prince Palatin, reprochoit à l’Empareur Sigismond, qu’au lieu de faire mourir ses Ennemis vaincus, il les combloit de Graces, & les mettoit en ètat de lui nuire: Ne les fais-je pas mourir, dit-il, en faisant cesser leur haine & les rendant mes Amis?

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21

A Lord having pitcht upon an ignoramus to be his Library-keeper, That’s the Seraglio, said a very witty Lady, committed to the Custody of an Eunuch.

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21

Un Seigneur ayant choisi un homme ignorant pour être son Bibliotéquaire, C’est, dit une Femme de qualité fort spirituelle, le Serrail qu’on a donné à garder à un Eunuque.

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22

Balzac having occasion for some Money, sent to his Friend Voiture to desire him to lend him four Hundred Crowns, and charged his Valet-de-Chambre to give him a Note for the like Sum. Voiture told the Money, and being offered the Note, which ran thus, I promise to pay to Mr. Voiture the Sum of four Hundred Crowns which he has sent me, &c. He takes it, peruses it, and underwrites these Words, I promise to pay to Mr. Voiture the Sum of eight Hundred Crowns, for the Favour he has done me of borrowing four Hundred of me, &c. And so he gives the Note to the Valet-de-Chambre to carry it back to his Master.

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22

Balzac ayant besoin d’Argent, envoya prier Voiture son Ami de vouloir bien lui preter quatre Cens êcus & chargea son Valet de Chambre de donner à Voiture une Promesse de pareille somme: Voiture conta l’Argent, & comme on lui presenta la Promesse où il y avoit ces Mots, Je promets de payer à Monsieur de Voiture la somme de quatre cens écus qu’il ma pretée, &c. il la prend, la lit, & souscrit ces Paroles, Je promets de payer à Monsieur de Balzac la somme de huit cents écus, pour le plaisir qu’il m’a fait de m’en emprunter quatre cens. Aprés cela il rend la promesse au Valet de Chambre pour la reporter à son Maître.

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23

Henry IV. King of France was so generous, that he ordered Vitri, Captain of his Life-Guards, to take into his Troop the Man that wounded him in the Battle of Aumale. The Mareschal d’Estrees being one Day in his Coach, and this Life-Guard-man riding by the Boot, There is, said the King, pointing to him, the Soldier who wounded me at the Battle of Aumale.

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23

Henri IV. Roy de France fut si genereux que de vouloir que Vitri Capitaine de ses Gardes du Corps, recût dans sa Compagnie celui qui le blessa dans la Bataille d’Aumale. Le Maréchal d’Etrées ètant un jour dans son Carrosse, & ce garde marchant à la Portiere, Voilà, lui dit le Roy, en le montrant, le Soldat qui me blessa à la Bataille d’Aumale.

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24

One was telling to the same Prince, that tho’ he had pardoned and bestow’d many Favours on one of the Captains of the League, yet he was not well-affected to him, he answer’d: I will do him so much good that I’ll force him to love me whether he will or no. Thus this Prince won the most rebellious, and was us’d to say, that more Flies were catch’d with a Spoonful of Honey, than with twenty Hogsheads of Vinegar.

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24

Comme on disoit à ce même Prince, que bien qu’il eût pardonné, & fait plusieurs Graces à un brave, qui avoit été un des Capitaines de la Ligue, il n’en ètoit pourtant pas aimé, il répondit: Je veux lui faire tant de bien que je le forcerai de m’aimer malgré lui. Ce grand Prince gagnoit ainsi les plus rebelles, & il disoit souvent, qu’on prenoit plus de mouches avec une cueillerée de miel, qu’avec vingt tonneaux de Vinaigre.

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25

An Archbishop of Florence said to a Cardinal: Men are very unfortunate, all their happiness consists in the Goods either of the Soul, the Body, or Fortune, and yet they are always plagued by too subtle Lawyers, Ignorant Physicians, or bad Divines.

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25

Un Archévêque de Florence disoit à un Cardinal: Les Hommes sont bien malheureux: tout leur bonheur consiste aux biens de l’Ame, du Corps, ou de la Fortune, cependant ils sont toûjours tourmentez par les trop subtils Avocats, par les Medecins ignorans, & par les mauvais Theologiens.

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26

A Spaniard being a Board a Ship in a Storm, the Captain commanded that the most cumbersom and heavy Things should be thrown over-board to ease the Vessel. Thereupon the Spaniard took his Wife, and would have thrown her into the Sea, and as the Captain ask’d him the reason of it, he answered: I have nothing that’s more heavy and cumbersom to me than my Wife, and so I perform your Command upon her.

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26

Un Espagnol ètant dans un Vaisseau qui fut surpris de la Tempête, le Capitaine fit commandement de jetter en Mer les choses qui incommodoient & pesoient le plus pour soulager le Navire. Aussitôt l’Espagnol prit sa Femme, & la vouloit jetter dans l’Eau; & comme le Capitaine lui demanda la raison de ce procedé, il repondit; Je n’ai rien qui me pese & qui m’incommode plus que ma Femme, c’est pourquoi j’execute sur elle vôtre commandement.

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27

Alphonsus King of Aragon, seeing a Gally full of Soldiers ready to be cast away, commanded she should be succour’d; and as he was slowly obey’d, by reason of the danger, he was going himself to its relief; and because every Body told him what danger he exposed himself to: Nay, said he, I had rather be a sharer than a Spectator of the Death of my Soldiers.

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27

Alphonse Roy d’Aragon, voyant qu’une Galere chargée de Soldats perissoit, commanda qu’on l’allat secourir; & comme on tardoit à lui obeïr, a cause du peril, il se mit lui même en ètat de courir à son secours; & sur ce que chacun lui representoit le danger où il s’exposoit! Ah! dit-il, j’aime mieux être Compagnon que Spectateur de la Mort de mes Soldats.

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28

King Henry the IV, hearing that a famous Protestant Physician had quitted his Religion, and turned Roman Catholick, said to the Duke of Sully, who was then with him: My friend, thy Religion is very desperate, since ’tis given over by the Physicians.

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28

Le Roy Henri IV. apprenant qu’un fameux Medecin Protestant avoit quitté sa Religion pour se faire Catholique Romain, dit au Duc de Sully qui ètoit alors avec lui: Mon Ami, ta Religion est bien malade, car elle est abandonnée des Medecins.

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29

The same King viewing one Day his Arcenal, a Lord askt him whether one could find any Canons in the World as good as those there: Cods-fish, answer’d the King, I never could find better Canons than those of the Church.

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29

Le même Roy visitant un jour son Arcenal, un Seigneur lui demanda si l’on pouvoit trouver au Monde d’aussi-bons Canons que ceux qu’ils voyoient: Ventre saint gris, repondit le Roy, je n’ai jamais trouvé de meilleurs Canons que ceux de la Messe.

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30

As one considered the losses which the City of Milan had occasioned to France, he said, It were to be wished that City had been quite destroy’d: No, no, said Chancellour du Prat, the War of Milan is like Physick to France, to cleanse her of abundance of lewd and debauched Men that would be apt to infect her.

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30

Comme on consideroit les pertes que la Ville de Milan causoit à la France, on dit qu’il seroit à souhaiter que cette Ville là eût été entierement ruinée: Non, non, dit le Chancelier du Prat; la Guerre de Milan sert d’une Purgation à la France, pour la nettoyer d’une infinité d’hommes perdus & debauchez, qui la pourroient infecter.

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31

Lewis the Eleventh, afterwards King of France, in fear of his Father Charles the Seventh, retired into Burgundy, where he contracted a Familiarity with one Conon a Peasant. Succeeding his Father in the Kingdom, Conon took his Journey to Paris, to present the King with some Turneps, which he had observ’d him to eat heartily of, when he sometimes came weary from Hunting; in the way, Hunger constrain’d him to eat them all up, save only one of an unusual bigness. The King delighted with the Simplicity of the Man, commanded him a Thousand Crowns, and the Turnep, wrapt up in a piece of Silk, to be reserved amongst his Treasures. A greedy Courtier had observ’d this, and having already devour’d a greater Sum, bought a very handsom Horse, and made a present of him to the King, who cheerfully accepted the Gift, and gave order that the Turnep should be given him; when unwrapt, and that it was seen what it was, the Courtier complained he was deluded: No, said the King, there’s no delusion, thou hast that which cost me a thousand Crowns for a Horse that is scarce worth a Hundred.

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31

Louis onzieme, qui fut ensuite Roy de France, se retira en Bourgogne, pour éviter le colere de son Pere Charles VII, & là il contracta familiarité avec un Païsan nomme Conon. Aprés qu’il eut succedé au Royaume de son pere, Conon se mit en Chemin pour Paris, afin d’y faire present au Roy de quelques Navets, parce qu’il avoit observé que le Roy avoit quelquefois pris grand plaisir à en manger, lors qu’il revenoit fatigué de la chasse. Pendant son voyage la faim l’obligea de manger tous ses Navets, à la reserve d’un seul d’une grosseur extraordinaire. Le Roy prit plaisir à la simplicité de cét Homme, & lui fit donner mille écus; & commanda qu’on conservât ce Navet parmi ses Tresors, aprés l’avoir envelopé dans un morceau de Taffetas. Un Courtisan affamé avoit observé tout ceci, & ayant déja devoré une plus grande somme, il acheta un fort beau Cheval, & en fit present au Roy lequel reçeut ce present avec joye, & lui fit donner le Navet. Aprés que le Courtisan l’eût developé, & qu’il eût veu ce que c’ètoit, il se plaignit de ce qu’il avoit été trompé; Il n’y a point de tromperie, dit le Roy, puis que tu as ce qui m’a couté mille écus, pour un Cheval qui à peine en vaut-il cent.

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Alphonsus King of Spain, said to those who told him that his Cloaths were so plain that they did not distinguish him from his Subjects: I had much rather be distinguished from my Subjects by my Honour and Virtue, than by my Crown and Purple,

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Alphonse Roy d’Espagne dit à ceux qui lui remontroient que la simplicité de ses Habits le confondoit avec ses sujets: J’aime bien mieux que ma Gloire & ma Vertu me distinguent de mes sujets, que le Diademe & la Pourpre.

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The Hungarians, who had conspired against Sigismundus, being entred into his Palace with design to either to seize or kill him, the Emperour perceiv’d them and ran to them with a Dagger in his Hand: Which of you, said he to them, will be so insolent as to abuse me? What have I done that deserves Death? If any one designs to strike me, let him come forward, I’ll defend my self. These bold and resolute Words frighted the Conspirators to that degree, that they run away at that very instant.

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Les Hongrois qui avoient conspiré la perte de Sigismond, ètant entrez en son Palais, ou pour le prendre, ou pour le tuer, l’Empereur les apperçeut, & courut au devant d’eux, un Poignard à la main: Qui de vous, leur dit-il, sera assez insolent pour me maltraiter? Qu’ai je fait qui merite la Mort? si quelqu’un a dessein de me frapper qu’il avance, je me defendrai. Ces Paroles fierement prononcées épouvanterent tellement les conjurez; qu’ils prirent aussitôt la fuite.

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A Modern Sage us’d to say, That to be an Hypocrite was to go to Hell by the Road of Heaven.

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Un Sage Moderne disoit: Que de faire l’Hypocrite c’étoit aller en Enfer par le chemin de Paradis.

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A Pope, before he was raised to the Soveraign Pontificate, out of a feign’d and politick Humility, caused his Table to be spread with a Fishing-net instead of a Table cloth; but assoon as he was advanced to that high Dignity which he courted, he told his Officers who would have served him as before: Let me be served with Linnen, I have no more occasion for a Net now the Fish is caught.

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Un Pape, avant que d’être élevé au souverain Pontificat, faisoit, par une feinte & politique humilité, couvrir sa Table d’un rets de Pescheur au lieu d’une Nappe, mais aussi-tôt qu’il fut parvenu à cette éminente dignité qu’il ambitionnoit, il dit à ses Officiers qui le vouloient servir à l’ordinaire: Servez moy de linge, je n’ai plus besoin de filet, le Poisson est pris.

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A Buffoon told one Day King Francis the First, that he had a Book of Fools, wherein he had writ the Name of the Emperour Charles the V. the King ask’d him the Reason; because, said he, by passing through France, he exposes himself to be stopt. But what wilt thou say, continued the King, if not only I let him pass, but likewise deliver up to him those Places I have promised him: Do you know, said the Buffoon, What I will do? I’ll blot Charles the V’s. name out of my Book, and writ yours instead of his.

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Un Bouffon dit un jour au Roy François qu’il avoit un Livre de Fous où il avoit écrit le nom de l’Empereur Charles Quint. Le Roy lui en demanda la Raison: Parce, dit il, qu’en passant par la France, il s’expose à être arrêté, Maïs que diras-tu, continua le Roy, si non seulement je le laisse passer, mais encore, si je lui livre les Places que je lui ai promises: Sçavez-vous, repondit le Bouffon, ce que je ferai? J’ôterai de mon Livre le Nom de Charles Quint, & je mettrai le vôtre en sa Place.

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Alphonsus King of Aragon was so liberal, that he some times gave away whole Cities and Dutchies, and took away great part of the Taxes from his People, which gave him the Sir-name of Bored-hand, and as one told him that his Donatives were excessive, he said, The chief care of a King ought to be to enrich his Subjects, and let these be never so rich, the Prince is never the poorer.

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Alphonse Roy d’Aragon étoit si liberal, qu’il donnoit quelquefois les Villes, & les Duchez, & remit à son Peuple une grande partie des Impôts, c’est ce qui le fit appeller Main-percée; & comme on lui temoignoit que ses Largesses étoient excessives, il disoit: Le principal Soin d’un Roy, doit être d’enrichir ses Sujects, car quelques riches qu’ils soient, le Prince n’en devient pas plus pauvre.

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The same King used to say: To live quiet in Marriage, the Husband ought to be Deaf, that he mayn’t hear his Wifes Brawling and Impertinence: and the Wife Blind, that she may not see her Husbands Debauchery.

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Ce même Roy disoit ordinairement: Pour vivre dans le Mariage, il faut que le Mari soit Sourd, afin qu’il n’entende pas les Impertinences et les Criailleries de sa Femme; et que la Femme soit Aveugle pour ne voir point toutes les Debauches de son Mari.

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39

King Alphonsus being Sick, and having try’d several Remedies to no purpose, He left them all, and betook himself to the reading of Quintus Curtius’s History: He was so much delighted with it, that by degrees his Disease abated, and at last being fully recover’d, he said, Farewel Hypocrates, farewel Avicenna, and all Physick; long live Quintus Curtius my true Physician.

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Le Roy Alphonse étant malade aprés avoir tenté en vain plusieurs Remedes, il les abandonna entierement, & se mit à lire l’Histoire de Quinte-Curse. Le plaisir qu’il y prit soulagea peu à peu son mal, & enfin se voyant gueri, il dit: Adieu Hyppocrate, Adieu Avicenne, & toute la Medecine: Vive Quinte-Curse, mon veritable Medecin.

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40

King Henry the IVth. having a Book of some Regulations for the State, shewn him by his Taylor, and compos’d by him, said to one of his Officers: Let my Chancellour come to me this minute to make me a Sute of Cloaths, since my Taylor will pretend to make Regulations.

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Le Roy Henry IV. voyant son Tailleur qui lui montroit un Livre de quelques Reglements pour l’Etat, qu’il avoit composé, dit à un de ses Officiers: Qu’on me fasse venir sur l’heure mon Chancelier pour me faire un Habit, puis que mon Tailleur veut faire des Reglements.

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Alphonsus King of Spain, hearing that those of Sienna, who during the War of Italy remain’d Neuter, had been Plunder’d by the Soldiers of both Parties, as soon as the War was ended, said, That they were like those who live in the middle Stories of a House, that are incommoded by the Smoke of those beneath, and by the Noise of those above them.

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Alphonse, Roy d’Espagne, apprenant que les Siennois, qui pendant la Guerre d’Italie, etoient demeurez Neutres, avoient été pillez par les Soldats des deux Partis, aussi tôt que la Guerre eût été finie, dit: Qu’ils étoient semblables à ceux qui étant logez dans les étages moyens d une Maison, sont incommodez par la Fumée de ceux qui sont au dessous, et par le Bruit de ceux qui demeurent au dessus.

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42

A Lord, who during the troubles of the League, had a long time been a Trimmer, came one Day to the Court of King Henry the IVth. whom he found playing at Primero; assoon as the King saw him he told him: Come Sir, you are welcome; if we Win, no doubt but you’ll be on our Side.

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42

Un Seigneur, qui durant les troubles de la Ligue, avoit long tems balancé sans suivre aucun Parti, vint un Jour à la Cour d’Henri IV. qu’il trouva joüant à la Prime; aussi-tôt que le Roy l’eût apperceu, il lui dit, Approchez, Monsieur, soyez le bien venu; si nous gagnons, sans doute vous serez des nôtres.

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43

A Man of War crying up before Sigismundus Military Employments, and vilifying Magistracy: Hold your Tongue, said the Emperor to him, and learn that if all Magistrates perform’d their Duty, we should have no occasion for Military Officers.

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Un Homme de Guerre élevant en presence de Sigismond, les Dignitez Militaires, et méprisant les Magistratures: Taisez vous, lui dit l’Empereur, et apprenez que si tous les Magistrats faisoient bien leur Devoir, nous n’aurions pas besoin d’Officiers de Guerre.

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44

Adolphus Count of Nassau, being newly rais’d to the Empire of Germany, sent a very abusive Writing to Philip King of France, with many ridiculous Threats. The King, who was Master of more Temper, contented himself to give the Courrier a whole Sheet of Paper, wherein he had writ in Capitals only these Words for an Answer, TOO MUCH A GERMAN.

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Adolphe Comte de Nassau, nouvellement élevé à l’Empire d’Allemagne, envoya à Philippe Roy de France, un écrit injurieux, et lui fit faire des Ménaces fort ridicules, Le Roy, qui étoit plus moderé, se contenta de charger le Courrier d’une Feuille de Papier, où pour toute Réponse il n’avoit écrit en gros Caracteres que ces seuls Mots, TROP ALLEMAND.

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45

Charles the Vth. said: To make up a good Body of Soldiers, I would have the Italians to be the Head, the Spaniards the Arms, the Germans the Breast, because of their Faithfullness and Strength; and the other Nations the Belly and Feet.

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Charles V. disoit: Pour bien dresser un Corps d’Armée, je voudrois que les Italiens en fussent la Tête, les Espagnols les Bras, les Allemans la Poitrine, à cause de leur Fidelité et de leur Force; et que les autres Nations en composassent le Ventre et les Pieds.

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Certain Soldiers, who were near the Coach of Catherine of Medicis, said a thousand abusive Things of her; and as the Cardinal of Lorrain told her that he was going to see them hang’d: No, no, answer’d she, let them go: I will this Day shew to After-ages, that in the same Person a Woman a Queen, and an Italian, have known how to command their Passion.

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Quelques Soldats qui étoient prés du Carrosse de Catherine de Medicis, dirent cent Insolences d’elle: Et comme le Cardinal de Lorraine l’eût avertie qu’il les alloit faire pendre: Non, non, lui repondit-elle, laissez les aller; je veux apprendre aujourd’huy à la Posterité, qu’en une même Personne, une Femme, une Reine, et une Italienne, ont sçeu commander à leur Colere.

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47

King John being taken in a Battle which he fought before Poitiers against the English, was conducted to their Camp, where the Prince of Wales waited upon him bare-headed at Supper. The King desir’d him several times to sit by him, but the Prince excus’d himself with these Words: It does not become a Subject to sit by his Lord, Afterwards the King told him: I design’d to have treated you to Day at Supper, but Fortune has been willing that you should treat me.

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Le Roy Jean ayant été pris en une Bataille qu’il donna devant Poitiers contre les Anglois, fut conduit dans leur Camp, où le Prince de Galles le servit tête nuë à souper: Le Roy le pria plusieurs fois de s’asseoir auprés de lui, mais le Prince s’en excusa par ces Paroles: Il n’appartient pas au Sujet de s’asseoir auprés de son Seigneur; ensuite le Roy lui dit: J’avois dessein de vous donner aujourd’huy à souper, mais la Fortune a voulu que vous me l’ayez donné.

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A Painter having promised the finest of all his Pictures, to one who had no skill in them, this Man came and told him cunningly, that his House was on Fire: The Painter cry’d presently to his Prentice, Be sure you save such a Picture: By that means he found that this must be the best, and he asked it of him assoon as his Trouble was over, and that he was satisfied that it was but a false Alarm

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Un Peintre ayant promis le plus beau de tous ses Tableaux à une Personne qui ne s’y connoissoit pas, elle lui vint dire adroitement que le Feu étoit en son Logis: le Peintre s’écria d’abord à son Eleve, qu’on me sauve un tel Tableau. Elle reconnut par là que, c’étoit le meilleur, et le lui demanda aprés que son émotion fut appaisée, et qu’il eût appris que cette allarme étoit fausse.

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Certain Peasants complaining to a Captain, that his Soldiers had Robb’d them, he asked them whether they had left them any thing? they answered Yes, Well, said the Captain, then they are none of my Soldiers, for they would certainly have taken all away.

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Quelques Païsans se plaignant à un Capitaine que ses Soldats les avoient volez, il leur demanda s’ils leur avoient laissé quelque chose? ils lui repondirent que ouï: Hé bien, leur dit le Capitaine, ce ne sont donc pas mes Soldats, ils auroient assurément tout emporté.

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King Alphonsus answered certain Persons, who pressed him to give Battle when he must have run a great Danger: ’Tis the Duty of a General, not only to Fight, but also to Conquer.

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Le Roy Alphonse repondit à quelques Personnes qui le pressoient de donner Bataille dans une Conjoncture dangereuse. Le Devoir d’un Général, c’est de Vaincre, non pas de Combattre seulement.

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Dragut, a Turkish Pirate, caused Ibrahim to be put to Death, just after he had delivered up to him the Town Aphrodisium, which the Moors call Mahudia; and because he had promised him his Life: and great Rewards, he said for his Justification: That no body is obliged to keep his Word, with one who had been Traytor to his own Country.

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Dragut, Corsaire Turc, fit tuer Ibrahim, qui venoit de lui livrer la Ville d’Aphrodisium, que les Maures nomment Mahudia; et comme il lui avoit promis la Vie avec de grandes Recompences, il dit pour se justifier: Que personne n’étoit obligé de tenir sa Parole à celui quî avoit été Traitre à sa Patriie.

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Alphonsus King of Aragon, drunk so little Wine, that his Friends wondring at it, he said: Alexanders excessive Love of Wine, was a great Blemish to his Glory, for it obscures Reason and Vertue: He said likewise: Wine has two very ill Daughters, Fury, and brutish Love.

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Alphonse Roy d’Aragon, beuvoit si peu de Vin, que ses Amis s’en étonant, il leur dit: L’Amour qu’Alexandre eut pour le Vin ternit beaucoup l’éclat de sa Gloire, il fait ombre & obscurit la Raison et la Vertu, il disoit encore, Le Vin a deux fort méchantes Filles, la Fureur et l’Amour brutal.

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King Lewis XI. hearing that Nicolas Raulin, Chancellour to the Duke of Burgundy, had founded a rich Hospital at Beaune, said: It is but reason that the Chancellor of Burgundy, who in his Life-time has made so many Beggars, should in his latter Days build an Hospital for them.

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Le Roy Loüis XI. entendant dire que Nicolas Raulin, Chancelier du Duc de Bourgogne, avoit fondé un riche Hôpital à Beaune, dit: Il est bien raisonnable que le Chancelier de Bourgogne, qui de son tems a fait tant de Pauvres, bâtisse à la fin de ces Jours un Hôpital pour les loger.

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Charles Duke of Calabria, having Condemned a Gentleman to pay a Hundred Florins of Gold to a Maid whom he had abused, commanded him to follow the Maid, who had the Money about her, and make as if he would take it away from her. The Maid knew well enough how to keep it, and being come back, complained of his Violence to the Duke, who told him: Had you been as careful of keeping your Honour, as defending your Money, you would not have lost that, Go Sweetheart, do so no more.

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Charles Duc de Calabre, ayant Condamné un Gentilhomme à donner cent Florins d’Or à une Fille qu’il avoit abusée, il lui commanda de suivre la Fille chargée de cette Somme, et de feindre de la lui vouloir óter. Elle seut bien la garder, & revint se plaindre de ses Violences au Duc, qui lui dit: Si vous eussiez eu autant de soin pour conserver vôtre Honneur que pour defendre vôtre Argent, vous ne l’eussiez pas perdu; allez M’amie, n’y retournez plus.

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An Astrologer advised a Prince to settle his Affairs, because within three Days he was to die a violent Death; the Prince ask’d him, whether he had foreseen what kind of Death he himself should die? and he assuring him that he was to die of a Feaver he told him, that to let him see the vanity of his Science he should be hang’d that very Hour. Now as the Astrologer was seized to be led to the Place of Execution, he said to the Prince: Pray see, my Lord, whether my Prediction be not true: Feel my Pulse, and you’ll be sensible that I have got a Feaver. Which subtle Answer saved his Life.

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Un Astrologue avertit un Prince de mettre ordre à ses Affaires, parce qu’il devoit mourir dans trois Jours d’une Mort violente; le Prince lui demanda s’il avoit preveu de quelle Mort lui même devoit mourir? & sur ce qu’il affura qu’il mourroit d’une Fievre chaude, il lui dit, que pour faire connoitre la Vanité de sa Science, il seroit pendu sur l’heure même. Comme on s’étoit déjà saisi de l’Astrologue pour le conduire au Supplice, il dit au Prince, Voyez, Monseigneur, si ma Prediction n’est pas veritable, tâtez moi le Poux, & vous sentirez, si je n’ai pas la Fievre. Cette subtilité lui sauva la Vie.

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The Duke of Guise, after a Battle fought betwixt Francis Ist. and Charles Vth. reproached one Villandri, that tho’ he was in compleat Armour yet he had not been seen in the Fight: I’ll make it out, answer’d boldly Villandri, that I was there, and in that very Place where you durst not be seen: The Duke nettled by this Reproach, threatned to punish him severely for it, but he appeas’d him with these Words: I was my Lord, with the Baggage, where your Courage would not have suffered you to sculk.

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Le Duc de Guise, aprés une Battaile du Roy François I. contre Charles Quint, reprochoir au Sieur Villandri, que bien qu’il fut armé de toutes pieces, on ne l’avoit point veu dans le Combat; je vous prouverai, lui repondit fierement Villandri, que je m’y suis trouvé, & même en un endroit où vous n’eussiez ôsé paroitre. Le Duc piqué de ce reproche, le menaçoit de quelque chatiment rigoureux, mais il l’appaisa par cette Parole: J’étois, Seigneur, avec le Bagage, où vôtre Courage ne vous eût pas permis de vous cacher.

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Lewis XII. King of France, said: Most Gentlemen have the same Fate with Acteon and Diomedes; they are devoured by their Dogs and Horses; intimating that Hunting, and the being curious of fine Horses ruined abundance off People of Quality.

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Le Roy de France, Loüis XII. disoit: La plûpart des Gentilhommes ont le même sort qu’Acteon & Diomede; ils sont devorez par leurs Chieni et par leurs Chevaux. Voulant dire que la Chasse, et le soin d’avoir de beaux Chveaux ruïnoit beaucoup de Gens de Qualité.

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One that walked before King Alphonsus, having given a thrust to a Branch of a Tree, it flew back, and struck the Kings Eye black and blue, and made it swell. As every one exprest how much they were sensible of his Pain: I have no Pain said he, that more sensibly affects me, than the Sorrow and Fear of him that hurt me.

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Une Personne qui marchoit devant le Roy Alphonse ayant poussé une Branche d’Arbre, elle fit ressort, et frappa l’oeil du Roy, qui en fut meurtri, et en devint fort enflé. Comme chacun lui temoignoit avoir part à sa douleur: Je n’ai point de Mal, dit-il, qui me touche plus sensiblement, que la douleur et la crainte de celui qui ma blessé.

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59

A Man who had married an ugly Woman, upon account of her great Fortune, having one Day surpriz’d her with a Spark, he told her, Since thou hast one that Kisses thee for nothing, What needest thou get a Husband at the Expence of thy Fortune.

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Un Homme qui avoit épousé une laide Femme, en consideration de son grand Bien, l’ayant un jour surprise avec un Galand, il lui dit, Puis qu’on te baise gratis, qu’étoit il besoin de chercher un Mari aux depens de ton Bien?

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A Plough-man seeing the Archbishop of Cologn go by attended with a great many Soldiers, could not forbear laughing: The Archbishop prest him to tell him the reason: ’Tis because I wonder, said the Plough-man, to see an Arch-bishop arm’d, and follow’d not by Church-men, but Soldiers, like a General of an Army. Friend, answer’d the Archbishop, know that I am a Duke as well as an Archbishop; In my Church I perform the Office of an Archbishop with my Clergy, but in the Field I march like a Duke, accompanied with my Soldiers: I understand you my Lord, reply’d the Peasant, But pray, tell me, when my Lord Duke goes to the Devil, what will then become of my Lord Archbishop?

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Un Laboureur voyant passer l’Archevêque de Cologne accompagné de plusieurs Soldats, ne pût s’empêcher de rire: L’Archevêque le pressa de lui en dire le sujet; C’est, dit le Laboureur, que je suis ètonnè de voir un Archevêque armé, et suivi, non pas d’Ecclesiastiques, mais de Gens de Guerre, comme un Général d’Armèe. Mon ami, lui rèpondit l’Archevêque, apprenez que je suis Duc aussi bien qu’Archevêque. Dans mon Eglise je fais la fonction d’Archevêque avec mon Clergé, mais dans la Campagne je marche en Duc accompagné de mes Soldats. J’entens bien, Mon Seigneur, lui repliqua le Païsan, mais dites moy, je vous prie, quand Monsieur le Duc ira à tous les Diables, que deviendra Monsieur l’Archévêque.

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The Duke of Milan being Besieg’d, and hard put to it in a Castle by the Florentines, could find no manner of Meat that pleas’d his Palate when he was at Table, and as he often quarrell’d with his Cook about it, this cunning Servant after many other Excuses, told him at last: My Lord, will you give me leave to be plain with you? The Meat is good and well drest, but, Faith, the Florentines have taken away your Stomach-

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Le Duc de Milan assiegé dans un Chateau par les Florentins, qui le pressoient fort, ne trouvoit aucune Viande à son goût lors qu’il étoit à Table; et comme il en querelloit souvent son Cuisinier, ce domestique adroit, aprés plusieurs autres Excuses, lui dit enfin: Voulez vous, Monseigneur, que je vous parle nettement? les Viandes sont bonnes, & bien preparées mais franchement les Florentins vous degoutent.

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62

The Life of Pope Bonifacius VIIIth. was so irregular that it was said of him: That he came to the Soveraign Pontificate like a Fox, liv’d like a Lion, and died like a Dog.

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La Vie du Pape Boniface VIII. fût si peu reglée, qu’on a dit de lui: Qu’il entra au Souverain Pontificat, comme un Renard, qu’il vécut comme un Lion, & qu’il mourut comme un Chien.

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King Henry the IVth. being importun’d by a man of Quality, who begg’d a Pardon for a Nephew of his guilty of Murder, answer’d him: I am sorry I cannot grant your Request; it becomes you to act the Part of an Uncle, and me that of a King: I excuse your Demand, excuse my Denial.

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Le Roy Henry IV. importuné par un homme de Qualité, qui lui demandoit une Grace pour son Neveu, coupable d’un assassinat, lui répondit: Je suis bien fâché de ne pouvoir vous accorder ce que vous me demandez, il vous sied bien de faire l’Oncle, & à moy de faire le Roy: J’excuse vôtre demande, excusez mon refus.

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64

An Impertinent Poet, having begun to read to one a Poem of his own making, asked him, Which of those Verses were the best? Those, answered he, thou hast not yet read, for they have not made my Head ake.

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Un Poëte importun, aprés avoir commencé de lire à quelqu’un un Poëme qu’il avoit fait, demanda à celui qui l’écoutoit lesquels de ces Vers étoient les meilleurs? Ce sont ceux, repondit-il, que tu n’as pas encore lus, car ils ne m’ont pas fait mal à la tête.

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A man of Note, coming from a great Dinner, and his Head full of the sweet vapours of Wine, signed an Order that was brought to him, which had starved a whole Province, had not the thing been prevented. He is to be excus’d, said a Jester upon it, for how can a man imagine in the first hour of Digestion, that People can starve any where.

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Un homme de Marque, au sortir d’un long diner, et dans les douces fumées du Vin, signa un Ordre qu’on lui presenta, qui eût ôté le Pain à toute une Province, si l’on n’y eut remédié. Il est excusable, dit un Railleur là dessus, le moyen de comprendre dans la premiere heure de la Digestion, qu’on puisse quelque part mourir de faim?

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When the Doge of Genoa was at Versailles (where he was come to make Submissions to the King in the name of his Common-wealth,) and was viewing all the Beauties of the Place, a Courtier ask’d him what he found there most extraordinary; To see my self here, answer’d he.

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Lorsque le Doge de Genes étoit à Versailles, (où il étoit venu faire des Soumissions au Roy de la Part de sa Republique) et qu’il en visitoit toutes les Beautés, un Courtisan lui demanda ce qu’il y trouvoit de plus extraordinaire: C’est de m’y voir, lui répondit le Doge.

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67

Odo, Bishop of Bayeux in Normandy, and Brother to William the Conqueror, by his Mothers side, was created Earl of Kent by the Conqueror. Some time after the Bishop hapned to fall into Disgrace, so that he was cast into Prison. The Clergy in those times were free from the Secular Power, and the Pope espousing the Bishop’s Quarrel, writ a sharp Letter to the King about it. The King gave no other answer, but That he had imprisoned the Earl of Kent, and not the Bishop of Bayeux.

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Eude Evêque de Bayeux en Normandie, & frere de Guillame le Conquerant, du côté de sa Mere, fut creé Comte de Kent par le Conquerant. Il arriva ensuite que cét Evêque tomba en Disgrace, si bien qu’il fut mis en Prison. Le Clergé dans ce tems-la ètoit exempt du bras Seculier, & le Pape épousant la Querelle de l’Evêque, écrivit aigrement au Roy Guillaume là dessus. Le Roy ne lui fit d’autre réponse, sinon qu’il avoit mis en Prison le Comte de Kent, & non l’Evêque de Bayeux.

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A Venetian Ambassador at Rome, went through Florence, and waited on the late Duke of Tuscany. This Prince complained to the Ambassador, that the Republick had sent him a Venetian, whose Conduct during the time of his Residence at his Court he was not satisfied with. Your Highness, said the Ambassadour, ought not to wonder at it, for I can assure you, that we have abundance of Fools at Venice: So have we at Florence, answer’d the great Duke, but we don’t send them abroad to treat of publick Affairs.

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68

Un Ambassadeur de Venise à Rome passa à Florence, où il salua le feu grand Duc de Toscane. Ce Prince se plaignit à cét Ambassadeur de ce que sa Republique lui avoit envoyé un Venitien qui s’etoit fort mal conduit durant le sejour qu’il avoit fait auprés de lui. Il ne faut pas, dit l’Ambassadeur, que vôtre Altesse s’en étonne, car je la puis assurer que nous avons beaucoup de Foux à Venise. Nous avons aussi nos Foux à Florence, lui repondit le grand Duc, mais nous ne les envoyons pas dehors pour traiter des Affaires publiques.

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69

A Prince jeer’d one of his Courtiers, who had serv’d him in several Embassies, and told, him, he look’d like an Ox: I know not who I am like, answer’d the Courtier, but this I know, that I have had the honour to represent you upon several Occasions.

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69

Un Prince railloit un de ses Courtisans, qui l’avoit servi dans plusieurs Ambassades, & lui disoit, qu’il ressembloit à un Boeuf: Je ne sai à qui je ressemble, lui repondit le Courtisan; mais je sai que j’ai eu l’honneur de vous representer en plusieurs Occasions.

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70

A Courtier taking his leave of the King, who sent him upon an Embassy to another Prince: The chief Instruction I have to give you, said the King to him, is that your Conduct be entirely opposite to that of your Predecessor: Sir, reply’d the Ambassador, I will so behave my self that your Majesty will have no occasion to give the like Instruction to him who shall succeed me,

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70

Un Homme de la Cour prenant congé du Roy, qui l’envoyoit en Ambassade vers un autre Prince: La principale Instruction que j’ai à vous donner, lui dit le Roy, est que vous observiez une conduite toute opposée à celle de vôtre Predecesseur. Sire, lui repartit l’Ambassadeur, je vai faire en sorte que vôtre Majesté ne donne pas une pareille Instruction à celui que me succedera.

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71

A Domestick of King Henry the Great, and a Confident of his Amours, obtain’d a Grant of him, and went to the Chancellour to make it pass the Seals. The Chancellour finding some difficulty in it, the Courtier press’d him and offer’d to prove, that there could be no difficulty in the Case. Every one, said the Chancellour, must meddle with his own Trade. My Trade, reply’d the Courtier, who thought himself reflected upon about the confidence of his Masters Amours, is so good an Employment, that, were the King but twenty Years younger, I would not change it for Four such as yours.

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71

Un Domestique du Roy Henry le Grand, qui étoit confident du ses Amours, en obtint quelque grace, & alla voir le Chancelier pour en avoir l’expedition. Le Chancelier y trouvant de la difficulté, le Courtisan le pressoit, & vouloit lui prouver qu’il n’y en devoit pas avoir: il faut, lui dit le Chancelier, que chacun se mêle de son mètier. Mon Metier, lui repondit le Courtisan, qui crut qu’il lui reprochoit la Confidence de Son Maîtres, est un si bon Employ, que si le Roy avoit vingt ans de moins, jè nê le changerois pas pour quatre comme le vôtre.

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72

A Man whose Head was full of a Stage-Play of his own making, was explaining the Plot and Design of it to a Courtier: The Scene, said he to him, is in Cappadocia, and to judge rightly of the Play, a man must transport himself into the Country, and get acquainted with the Genius of the People. You say right, answer’d the Courtier, and I think it were best to have it acted there.

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72

Un Homme entêté d’une piece de Théatre de sa facon, en expliquoit l’intrigue & le Dessein à un Courtisan: La scene, lui disoit-il, est en Cappadoce; il faut se transporter dans ce Pais là, & entrer dans le genie de la Nation, pour bien juger do la Piece: Vous avez raison, répondit le Courtisan, & je croi qu’elle seroit bonne à jouer sur les lieux.

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73

Monsieur de Vaugelas, having obtain’d a Pension of the King by the means of Cardinal Richelieu, this Cardinal told him: Sir, I hope you won’t leave out the word Pension in your Dictionary: No my Lord, answer’d Vaugelas, nor the word Gratitude.

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73

Monsieur de Vaugelas ayant obtenu une Pension du Roy par l’entremisé du Cardinal de Richelieu, ce Cardinal lui dit; Au moins, Monsieur, vous n’oublierez pas dans vôtre Dictionnaire le mot de Pension. Non, Monseigneur, lui repondit Vaugelas, ni celui de Reconnoissance.

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74

Benserade being come to the Academy, took the Place of the Abbot Furetiere, whom he had no kindness for, and as he sat in it, he said, Here’s a Place where I am like to say many a foolish Thing; Very well, answer’d Furetiere, you have made a very good Beginning.

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74

Benserade étant à l’Academie y prit la Place de l’Abbé Furetiere, qu’il n’aimoit pas, & dit en s’y mettant; Voici une Place où je dirai bien des sotises: Courage, lui repondit Furetiere, vous avez fort bien commencé.

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75

The Marquis du Chatelet, another Academician, being got out of the Bastille, where he had been imprison’d upon a Slight occasion, appear’d before the late King of France. The King who cared not to see a Man he had not well us’d, made it his business to turn off his Eyes from him. The Marquis perceiving it, drew near the Duke of S. Simon, and told him: My Lord, I beg of you to tell the King that I forgive him, and wish he would do me the honour to look upon me. Which had the effect he desir’d; For the Duke having told the King of it, his Majesty fell a laughing, and afterwards spoke to him very graciously.

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75

Le Marquis du Chatelet, autre Academicien, ètant sorti de la Bastille, où il avoit été mis pour un sujet assez leger, se presenta devant le feu Roy de France. Le Roy, qui avoit de la peine à voir un homme qu’il n’avoit pas bien traité, s’appliquoit à detourner les yeux de dessus lui. Le Marquis s’en appercevant, s’approcha du Duc de S. Simon, & lui dit: je vous prie, Monsieur, de dire au Roy que je lui pardonne, & qu’il me fasse l’honneur de me regarder. Ce qui fit l’effet qu’il desiroit; car le Duc l’ayant dit au-Roy, il en rit, & lui parla ensuite fort obligeamment.

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76

Lewis XII. King of France, while he was Duke of Orleans, had several times been disoblig’d by two Persons in Favour in the foregoing Reign. One of his Confidents would persuade him to shew them his Resentment: No, answer’d the King, ’tis below the King of France, to revenge injuries done to the Duke of Orleans.

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76

Louis XII. Roy de France, ètant Duc D’Orleans, avoit receu plusieurs deplaisirs de deux Personnes qui ètoient en faveur dans le regne precedent. Un de ses Confidents l’excitoit à lui en temoigner son ressentiment: Il est indigne du Roy de France, répondit il, de venger les injures faites au Duc d’Orleans.

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77

John II. Duke of Bourbon being a Hostage in England for King John, several Gentlemen, Vassals to the Duke, caballed against him in his Absence, and encroached upon his Rights. One of his Officers kept an exact account of all, and upon the Duke’s return, presented him with a great Volume of it, that he might cause justice to be done. The Duke ask’d him, whether he had kept likewise a Register of all the good Services they had formerly done him, to which the Officer answering, No: Then, reply’d the Duke, ’tis, not fit for me to make any use of this, and so threw it into the Fire, without giving it the reading.

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77

Jean II. Duc de Bourbon ètant en Otage en Angleterre pour le Roy Jean, plusieurs Gentilhommes, Vassaux de ce Duc, cabalerent contre lui durant son absence, & empieterent sur ses Droits. Un de ses Officiers en fit des Memoires exacts, et en presenta un gros Recueîl au Duc à son retour, afin qu’il en fit faire justice. Le Duc lui demanda, s’il avoit aussi tenu Regitre de tous les bons Services qu’ils lui avoient rendus auparavant, & l’Officier lui répondant que non: il n’est donc pas juste, repliqua le Duc, que je fasse aucun usage de celui ci, & le jetta dans le feu sans le lire.

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78

The late Duke of Guise’s Steward was telling him the necessity he lay under of regulating his domestick Affairs, and gave him a List of several Persons, that were of no use in his house. The Prince having examin’d it, ’Tis true, says he, I might make shift without them all; but did you ask them whether they could make shift without me?

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78

L’Intendant Du feu Duc de Guise lui representoit la nêcessité qu’il y avoit de mettre ordre à ses affaires domestiques, & lui donna une liste de plusieurs personnes inutiles dans sa Maison. Le Prince l’ayant examinée, il est vray, lui dit il, que je pourrois bien me passer de tous ces Gens là: Mais leur avez vous demandé, s’ils pourront aussi se passer de moy.

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79

A wanton Gentlewoman reproach’d her Brother with his strong Passion for Gaming, which was the ruin of him: When will you leave off Gaming? Says she to him: when you’ll cease to Love, answers the Brother. Oh! Unhappy Man, replied the Sister, then you are like to game all your Life-time.

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79

Une demoiselle galante reprochoit à son Frere sa passion pour le jeu qui le ruinoit: Quand cesserez vous de joüer, lui dit elle: Quand vous cesserez d’aimer, repondit le Frere. Ah! Malheureux, repliqua la soeur, Vous joüerez donc toute vôtre vie.

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80

A Man of Quality, travelling in Spain, went to see the Escurial, and as he view’d the Rich and Magnificent Convent of the Monks of the order of St. Jerom, call’d the Cloister of St. Laurence, the Superiour, who Conducted him, told him the Particulars of its foundation, and how King Philip II. had caus’d it to be built to perform the Vow he made on that Day the Battle of St. Quentin was fought, which was on St. Laurence’s Day, in case he should come off Victorious; whereupon the Traveller, admiring the Magnificence of that Building, said: Father, that King must needs he be in great Fear, when he made so great a Vow.

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80

Un homme de Qualité, voyageant en Espagne, alla voir l’Escurial, & comme il visitoit ce riche & magnifique Convent de Religieux de l’ordre de S. Jerome, qu’on nomme le cloitre de S. Laurent, le Superieur qui le conduisoit lui raconta les particularitez de sa fondation; il lui dit comme le Roy Philippe II. l’avoit fait batir pour satisfaire au voeu qu’il en fit le jour de la bataille de S. Quentin, qui fut donnée le jour de S. Laurent, en cas qu’il en sortit victorieux: là dessus le Voyageur lui dit en admirant la Magnificence de ce Batiment: Mon Pere, il faloit que ce Roy eut grand peur, lors qu’il fit un si grand voeu.

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81

All the Teeth of a certain talkative Lady being loose, she ask’d a Physician the cause of it, who Answered, It proceeded from the violent shakings she gave them, with her Tongue.

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81

Toutes les dents d’une Demoiselle, qui parloit beau coup, étant pretes à tomber, elle en demanda la cause à un Medecin, qui lui repondit, que c’ètoit à cause des secousses, qu’elle leur donnoit avec sa langue.

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82

A bad Painter who could not put off his Pictures, went into another Country and turn’d Physician; one who went that way knew him again, and ask’d him for what reason he went in the habit of a Physician; I have a mind, said he, to profess an art, wherein all mistakes are cover’d by the earth.

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82

Un méchant Peintre, qui ne pouvoit vendre ses ouvrages, s’en alla dans un autre païs & s’y fit Medecin; Quelqu’ un qui passoit par là le reconnut & lui demanda pour quelle raison il alloit vêtu en Medecin? Il répondit, J’ai voulu professer un Art, où toutes les fautes que l’on y fait, sont couvertes par la Terre.

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83

Certain Young Ladys walking in the fields met in their way, a Shepherd, who carried a Lamb to the Market, one among them coming near, stroak’d it, and said to her Companions, Look how pretty he is, he has yet no Horns; the Shepherd hearing that, reply’d, ’tis because he is not yet married.

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83

Certaines Demoiselles, se promenant à la campagne, rencontrerent par le chemin un Berger qui portoit un chevreau au marché; une d’entre elles s’en étant approchée, le caressa & dit à ses compagnes, Regardez comme il est joly, il n’a point encore de cornes; le Berger entendant cela, leur repondit, c’est qu’il n’est pas encore marié.

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84

The Kings Court being at a certain Town, two Gentlemen walking together met a Clown beating his Ass unmercifully; they said to him harkee friend, have you no conscience to abuse that poor beast at this rate? the Man pulling off his Hat, presently reply’d, Cry Mercy good Mr. Ass, I did not think you had relations at Court.

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84

La Cour du Roy étant en une certaine ville, deux gentilshommmes se promenant ensemble rencontrerent un Païsan qui battoit son Ane avec éxcez, ils lui dirent aussi tôt, he, mon amy, n’avez vous point de conscience de maltraiter ainsi cette pauvre Bête? Cét homme ayant ôté son chapeau dit aussi tôt, Pardon, monsieur l’Ane, je ne croyois pas que vous eussies des parens à la Cour.

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85

A Citizen said to a Courtier, that he had eased himself of a heavy Burden, by paying a Sum of Money he ow’d; and that he could not apprehend how one could Sleep that was deeply indebted. And I, answer’d the Courtier, who was in Debt over Head and Ears, do very easily apprehend it; but I cannot imagine how my Creditors can Sleep, when they think I shall never pay them.

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85

Un homme de la Ville dit à un Courtisan, qu’il venoit de se decharger d’un pesant fardeau en payant une Somme qu’il devoit, & qu’il ne comprenoit pas comment on pouvoit dormir, quand on ètoit chargé de dettes: Pour moy, repondit le Courtisan, qui ètoit fort endetté, Je le comprens facilement; mais je ne comprens pas comment mes Creanciers peuvent dormir, sachant bien que je ne les payerai jamais.

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86

The Baron des Adrets, one of the Generals of the Huguenots, took during the Wars a Castle belonging to the Catholicks, and condemn’d all the Soldiers that had defended it, to leap out at a Window of that Castle; one of them advanc’d twice to the brink of the Precipice, and still he shrunk back; whereupon the Baron told him, Come, take your Leap without any more ado, for I’ll make you suffer greater Torments if you go back a third time. Sir, answer’d the Soldier, since you take the thing to be so easy, I lay you don’t do it in four times. Which so pleas’d the Baron, that as cruel as he was, he pardoned the Soldier upon accout of this Repartee.

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86

Le Baron des Adrets, l’un des chefs du Parti Huguenot, prit durant la Guerre un Chateau du Parti des Catholiques, & condamna les Soldats qui l’avoient defendu à sauter du haut en bas d’une Tour de ce Chateau; Un du ces Soldats s’avança par deux fois au bord du Precipice, & s’en recula par deux fois; le Baron lui dit, Saute donc sans tant marchander, car je vais te faire souffrir bien d’autres tourmens si tu recules pour la troisiéme fois. Monsieur, lui repondit le Soldat, Puisque vous trouvez la chose si facile, je vous la donne en quatre: Ce qui plût à ce Baron, qui tout cruel qu’il étoit, lui pardonna en faveur de ce bon mot.

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87

A young Lady being in Company with her Husband, they began to tell merry Stories, and every one had his own; when it came to the Ladies turn, she was pleas’d to relate all the Stratagems that a Spark had us’d to get one Night into the Room of a Woman he lov’d, and whose Husband was absent; but it fell out unluckily as they were together, very well pleas’d with one another, that the Husband comes and knocks at the Door. So you may imagine, said she, what Trouble I was in. This preposterous Reflexion cast her Husband into another sort of Trouble, by giving him to understand what share he had in this Adventure; and how his Wife had blurted out a Truth, which she never design’d to let him know.

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87

Une jeune Dame ètant en Compagnie avec son Mary, on se mit sur les bons Contes, & chacun dit ceux qu’il savoit; la Dame en voulut dire un à son tour, & raconta toutes les addresses dont un Galand s’ètoit servi pour s’introduire la nuit dans la Chambre d’une Femme qu’il aimoit, & dont le Mary ètoit absent; mais par malheur, ajoûta-t-elle, comme ils ètoient en semble, fort contens l’un de l’autre, Voici le Mari qui revint frapper à la porte: Imaginez vous, dit elle, alors l’embarras où je fus. Cette reflexion mal placée, jetta son Mary dans un autre embarras, en lui faisant connoitre la part qu’il avoit en cette avanture, & comme sa femme, sans y penser, avoit laissé échapper une verité qu’elle n’avoit pas intention de lui apprendre.

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88

Count Mansfelt having received three Routings in Germany, went to the French King for new Recruits. As he was seeing the two Queens one day at Dinner, the Queen Mother said, They say Count Mansfelt is here among the Croud. I do not believe it, said the young Queen, for whensoever he sees a Spaniard he runs away.

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88

Le Comte de Mansfelt, ayant perdu trois Battailles en Allemagne, vint demander de nouveaux Renforts au Roy de France. Un jour qu’il alla voir les deux Reines à diner, la Reine Mere dit: On dit que le Comte de Mansfelt est parmi cette Foule; je n’en crois rien, Dit la jeune Reine, Car il prend la fuite d’abord qu’il voit un Espagnol.

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89

A Captain that had a wooden Leg booted over, had it shattered to pieces by a Cannon Bullet; his Soldiers crying out, A Surgeon, a Surgeon for the Captain. No, no, said he, a Carpenter will serve my turn.

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89

Un Capitaine qui avoit une jambe de bois bottée, y receut un coup de Canon qui la lui fracassa; & comme ses Soldats demandoient un Chirurgien, Un Chirurgien pour le Capitaine. Non, non, dit il, un Charpentier fera mon affaire.

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90

A Secretary of State in France, passing the Pont-neuf, or New Bridge at Paris, between Nine and Ten a Clock in a Winter-night, with his Lacquey carrying a Flambeau before him, o’re-heard a noise of clashing of Swords and Fighting, and looking under the Flambeau, and perceiving they were but two, he bid his Footman go on. They had not gone many paces, but two armed Men, with their Pistols cock’d, and Swords drawn, made pushing towards them: One of them had a Paper in his Hand, which he said, he had casually took up in the Streets, and had occasion’d their difference; therefore they desired the Secretary to read it, with a great deal of Complement. The Secretary took out his Spectacles, and fell a reading the said Paper, whereof the Substance was, That it should be known to all Men, that whosoever did pass over that Bridge after Nine a Clock in Winter, and Ten in Summer, was to leave his Cloak behind him, and in case of no Cloak, his Hat. The Secretary started at this, one of the Rogues told him, That he thought that Paper concerned him; so they unmantled him, and my Secretary was content to go home in Cuerpo.

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90

Un Secretaire d’Etat en France, passant en hyver sur le Pont-neuf à Paris, sur les neuf à dix heures du soir avec son Laquay & un Flambeau pout l’éclairer, il entendit un Chamaillis d’Epées & de gens qui se battoient, & voyant à la faveur du Flambeau, qu’ils n’ètoitent que deux, il dit à son Laquay de passer Chemin. A peine eurent ils fait quelques pas que deux hommes armez, avec leurs Pistolets bandez, & l’épée nue, s’en vinrent fierement à eux: l’un d’eux avoit un Papier en sa main, qu’il dit avoir ramassé par hasard dans la ruë, & qui avoit causé leur demêlé; c’est pourquoy ils prierent fort civilement le Secretaire de le lire. Le Secretaire tira ses lunettes, & se mit à lire ce Papier, dont le contenu étoit. Il est fait à scavoir à toutes Personnes que quiconque passera sur ce Pont après neuf heures en hyver, & dix en Eté, il aye à laisser son Manteau, & en cas qu’il n’ait point de Manteau, son Chapeau. Comme un des Filous vit que le Secretaire tressailloit de peur, il lui dit, qu’il croyoit que cét écrit le regardoit; ainsi ils lui prirent son Manteau, & notre Secretaire fut content de ce qu’on le laissa aller paisiblement chez lui en pourpoint.

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91

The Duke of Ossuna, Viceroy of Naples, passing by Barcelona, and having got leave to release some Slaves, he went aboard the Cape Gally, and passing through the Crew of Slaves, he ask’d divers of them what their Offences were; every one excus’d himself upon several pretences, one saying, That he was put in out of Malice; another by Bribery of the Judge, but all of them unjustly. Among the rest, there was one sturdy little black Man, and the Duke asking him what he was in for. My Lord, said he, I cannot deny but I am justly put in here, for I wanted Money, and so took a Purse hard by Tarragona to keep me from Starving. The Duke, with a little Staff he had in his Hand, gave him two or three blows upon the Shoulders, saying, You Rogue, what do you do amongst so many honest, innocent Men? Get you out of their Company. So he was freed, and the rest remained still to Tug at the Oar.

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91

Le Duc d’Ossone, Viceroy de Naples, passant par Barcelone, & voulant se servir du Droit qu’il avoit de delivrer quelques Forçats, alla sur la Galere Capitainesse, & passant par la Chiourme, il interrogea plusieurs Forcats touchant leurs Crimes. Ils s’excuserent tous sur divers Pretextes; les uns disant qu’ils ètoient là par malice, les autres parce que leur Juge avoit été corrompu; mais tous injustement. Parmi ceux-ci il se rencontra un petit noirand esperlucat, & comme le Duc lui demanda pourquoi il ètoit là: Monseigneur, dit il, je ne saurois nier que ce ne soit avec justice qu’on m’a mis ici; car me trouvant sans argent, je pris une Bourse pres de Tarrascon pour m’empêcher de mourir de faim. Le Duc, avec un petit baton qu’il avoit en sa main, lui donna deux ou trois coups sur l’épaule, & lui dit, Coquin, qu’est ce que tu fais ici parmi tant de gens de bien qui sont innocens? Sors promtement de leur Compagnie. Ansi il fut mis en liberté, & les autres demeurerent pour tirer à la Rame.

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92

James I. King of England, asking the Lord Keeper Bacon, what he thought of the French Ambassador; he answer’d, that he was a tall, proper Man. Ay, replied the King, What think you of his Head-piece? Is he a proper Man for an Ambassador? Sir, said Bacon, Tall Men are like high Houses, wherein commonly the uppermost Rooms are worst furnished.

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92

Jaques I. Roy d’Angleterre demandant au Chancellier Bacon, ce qu’il pensoit de l’Ambassadeur de France; il respondit que c’ètoit un homme de belle taille. Ouy, repliqua le Roy, mais que dites vous de sa tête? Est-elle propre pour une Ambassade? Sire, dit Bacon, les Gens grands sont comme les Maisons de cinq ou six etages, ou les Chambres les plus hautes sont ordinairement les plus mal garnies.

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93

Christopher of Placentia, a merry Gentleman, and a good Companion, but very poor withal, finding one Night some Thieves in his House, told them without putting himself in a Passion, I cannot imagine what you expect to find in my House in the Night, since I can find nothing in it my self in the Day-time.

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93

Christophe de Plaisance, Gentilhomme agréable & bon compagnon, mais fort pauvre, trouvant une nuit des voleurs dans sa maison, leur dit, sans se mettre en colere, Je ne scay ce que vous pretendez trouver dans ma Maison pendant la nuit, puisque moy même, je n’y trouve rien pendant le jour.

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94

An Italian Earl, about Naples, of a hundred thousand Crowns a Year, married a common Laundress; whereupon Pasquin the next Sunday Morning, had a foul and most dirty Shirt put upon his Back, and this Tart Libel beneath: Pasquin, how now? A foul Shirt upon a Sunday? The answer in Pasquin’s behalf was, I cannot help it, for my Laundress is made a Countess.

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94

Un Comte Italien, des environs de Naples, qui avoit cent mille ecus de rente, ayant épousé une simple Blanchisseuse; le Dimanche d’aprés, on vit Pasquin avec une Chemise extremement sale, & ces mots satyriques au dessous: Fi donc, Pasquin, Une Chemise sale un jour de Dimanche? La reponse en faveur de Pasquin étoit, Je ne saurois qu’y faire, car ma Blanchisseuse est devenue Comtesse.

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95

It was a tart Jest, which was in this manner put upon the Pope, and one of his Nephews, at the latter end of the Year 1649. It seems, the good old Father had advanced the Spark from a poor ignorant Taylor, to the Dignity of a Roman Baron: All the Ancient Nobility were disgusted at this, and some arch wag was set at work to ridicule the Pope’s Conduct, and the new Barons honour. Wherefore on Christmas Day early in the morning, Pasquil was observed to be apparell’d in Rags, and a very nasty habit, with a Schedule of paper in his hand, wherein was writ. How now, Pasquil, what! All in Rags on a Christmas day? the answer for Pasquil was, Alas, I cannot help it, for my Taylor is become a Baron.

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95

On fit une Raillerie fort piquante sur le Pape, & un de les Neveux, sur la fin de l’année 1649. En cette maniere Le bon Pere avoit élevé ce jeune homme de la Condition d’un miserable benet de Tailleur, à la dignité de Baron de Rome; Toute l’ancienne Noblesse en fut piquée: & on chargea un Esprit malin de tourner en ridicule, & la conduite du Pape, & la dignité du nouveau Baron; sur cela on vit le jour de Noel, de grand matin, Pasquin vêtu d’un habit fort sale & tout dechiré avec un morceau de Papier à la main, avec ces mots. Quoy donc, Pasquin, d’où viennent ces Guenilles un jour de Noel? La réponse en faveur de Pasquin ètoit, Helas! je ne saurois qu’y faire, car mon Tailleur à été fait Baron.

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96

One day a Thief was carried to the Gallows, and as his Confessor ask’d him whether he was not sorry for having committed the Theft for which he was going to suffer, Yes, reply’d the Malefactor, But I am still more sorry that I did not steal enough to bribe my Judges.

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96

Un jour on menoit un voleur à la Potence, & comme son Confesseur lui demandoit s’il n’étoit pas faché d’avoir commis le larcin pour lequel il alloit être pendu: Ouy, lui repondit le Criminel, mais ce qui me fache advantage, c’est de n’avoir pas assez volé pour corrompre mes Juges.

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97

Two Ladies playing at Picquet, a young Lord came to them, and ask’d them what they play’d for. They answer’d that they only play’d for honour, then there will be nothing for the Cards, reply’d he.

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97

Deux Dames joüant au Piquet, un jeune Seigneur vint sur le jeu, qui leur demanda ce qu’elles joüoient, elles lui dirent qu’elles ne joüoient que pour l’honneur. Il n’y aura donc rien pour les cartes; repliqua t-il.

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98

A Lawyer told his Client, his adversary had remov’d his suit out of one Court into another; to whom the Client reply’d, Let him remove it to the Devil if he pleases: I am sure my Attorney, for money, will follow it.

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98

Un avocat dit à son Client, que sa Partie adverse avoit porté l’affaire d’une cour à une autre, à quoi le Client répondit, Elle n’a qu’à la porter au Diable si elle veut; Je suis seur que mon Procureur l’y poursuivra pour de l’argent.

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99

A Usurer had constantly two dishes brought to his table, but eat of but one; his Man once brought but one, and left the other behind. Sirrah, said his Master, Where’s the other Dish? Sir, said he, It has come so oft, I thought it would have found its way hither without my assistance.

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99

Un Usurier se faisoit toujours servir deux Plats à Table, quoy qu’il ne touchât qu’à un; un jour son valet n’en servit qu’un, & laissa l’autre. Coquin, lui dit son Maitre, Où est l’autre Plat? Monsieur, dit il, Il est venu ici si souvent, que je croyois qu’il retrouveroit assez le chemin sans moy.

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100

A Lawyer being Sick, made his will, and gave away all his Estate to Lunatick, Frantick, and Mad People: And being ask’d why he did so, he reply’d, From such he had it, and to such he would give it again.

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100

Un Avocat ètant malade, fit son Testament & donna tout son Bien aux Fous, aux Lunatiques, & aux Enragez: Et comme on lui en demanda la raison, il repliquà, Qu’il vouloit le rendre à ceux de qui il le tenoit.

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101

A Taylor carried his Bill to the Duke of Buckingham, who said he could not then pay him, but made him sup a Mess of his Broth, which having done, he humbly thanks his Grace, and takes his leave. He had not been at home exercising his Shears, but he was fit for the Bodkin, for his Broth began to operate, and provok’d him to call up his Wife, who presently attended his Motion, being easily prevail’d withal. So as the Potage began to work with him he work’d with her, and having highly pleased his Wife, as well as himself, with a Kiss dismiss’d her. Within a quarter of an Hour he calls her up again, and so he did to the third and fourth time. At last she ask’d him, how this strange and sudden Alteration came? So he told her, My Lord did not pay him his Bill, but gave him a Porrenger of his Broth, which had wrought these vigorous Effects. To which she reply’d, Prithee, Husband, if my Lord is willing, take out all thy Bill in this Broth.

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101

Un Tailleur alla porter ses Parties au Duc de Buckingham, qui lui dit-qu’il ne pouvoit pas le payer alors, mais lui fit prendre une écuellée de son Bouillon, ce qu’ayant fait, il remercia très humblement sa Grandeur, & se retira. Il n’eut pas été long tems chez lui à faire aller ses Ciseaux, qu’il eut affaire de son Poinçon; car le Bouillon commençant à operer, il falut qu’il fit monter sa Femme, laquelle ne se fit pas beaucoup prier pour venir voir ce qu’il souhaitoit. A mesure que le Bouillon operoit sur lui, il en fit autant sur sa Femme; & s’étant bien diverti avec elle, il lui donna un baiser, & la renvoya. Dans un quart d’heure il la fit remonter; et puis une troisiéme & quatrieme fois. Enfin elle lui demanda d’où venoit un Changement si étrange & si subit? Il repondit que Milord ne lui avoit pas payé ses Parties, mais qu’il lui avoit donné, une écuellée de son Bouillon, qui l’avoit rendu si vigoureux: à quoi la Femme repliqua: Je te prie, mon bon, si Milord le veut, paye toi de toutes tes parties en Bouillons.

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102

A Taylor, blind of one Eye, was come home sooner than his Wife expected; and because, during his absence, she had entertain’d her Lover, and could not tell how to convey him out; she bethought her self of this Stratagem, she goes to her Husband, and takes him about the Neck, claps her Hand upon his good Eye, and told him she was a dreaming last Night he could see with the other Eye, in the mean time her Spark slipt out.

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102

Un Tailleur borgne revint au Logis avant que sa Femme l’y attendit; & comme pendant son absence elle s’ètoit divertie avec son galand, & qu’elle ne savoít comment le faire sortir, elle s’avisa de ce Stratageme: Elle s’approche de son mari, lui saute au cou, met sa main sur son bon oeil, & lui dit qu’elle avoit songé la nuit passée qu’il y voyoit de l’autre l’oeil, & dans ce tems là son galand se sauva.

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103

A Taylor having a young and handsom Wife, went into the Country to his Customers; in the mean time a lusty young Journey-man sollicited her, but she refus’d; at last he vow’d, when she was in Bed, he’d come into the Chamber; she vow’d if he did, she’d have a great Knife in Bed with her to cut his Throat. At Night, he opens the Door softly, but remembering the Knife, was stealing out again. She hearing a noise, asked, who was there? ’Tis I, says he, and was resolv’d to lye with you, but that I remember’d your Vow of the Knife. Oh! what a Fool was I, says she, to leave the Knife below in the Kitchen?

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103

Un Tailleur, qui avoit une Femme jeune & belle, s’en ètant allé en Province chez ses Chalands; un de ses Compagnons jeune & vigoureux tacha de la corrompre, mais elle le rebuta; Enfin il jura que lors qu’elle seroit couchée, il la viendroit trouver dans sa chambre, & elle jura de son côté que s’il le faísoit, elle auroit un grand Couteau dans son lit pour lui couper la gorge. La nuit venuë, il ouvre doucement la Porte, mais se ressouvenant du Couteau, il alloit resortir à la derobée: Elle, entendant du bruit, demanda qui c’ètoit? C’est moy, dit il, qui avois resolu de coucher avec vous, n’ètoit que je me suis ressouvenu du serment que vous avez fait du Couteau. O! la sotte que je suis, dit elle, d’avoir oublié le Couteau là bas dans la Cuísine!

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104

One at a Lord’s Table, told him of a Piece of Chymistry, which he saw in Flanders, which was a general Cure for all Diseases; nay, I confess my self, says he, I could not have believ’d it, if I had not seen it; at which the Lord wondred much, and ask’d a Grave Philosopher at the Table, what he thought of it, Why truly, my Lord, says he, that Gentleman has spoken my Sentiments, for he said he could not have believ’d it unless he had seen it, and truly no more will I.

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104

Un homme qui ètoit à la Table d’un Milord, l’entretenoit d’une Operation chimique qu’il avoit veuë en Flandre, & qui ètoit un Remede général pour toutes sortes de maux; & je vous avouë, dit il, que je ne l’eusse pas creu si je ne l’eusse veu moi-même; le Milord en parut fort surpris, & il demanda à un Philosophe grave qui ètoit à Table, ce qu’il en croyoit: Vrayment, Milord, dit-il, ce Monsieur là vient d’expliquer mes sentimens, car il a dit qu’il ne l’eût point creu, á moins que de l’avoir veu, & moy je ne saurois le croire non plus.

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105

A Gentleman came into an Inn in Chelmsford, upon a very cold Day, and could get no room near the Fire, whereupon he calls to the Ostler to fetch a peck of Oysters, and give them to his Horse presently; will your Horse eat Oysters, reply’d the Ostler, I pray, try him, says the Gentleman; Immediately the People running to see this wonder, the fire side was clear’d, and the Gentleman had his choice of Seats. The Ostler brings the Oysters, and said the Horse would not meddle with them; why then, says the Gentleman, I must be forc’d to eat them my self.

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105

Un Gentilhomme arriva dans une Hotelerie de Chelmsford, un jour qu’il faisoit grand froid, & comme il ne pouvoit avoir place auprés du feu, il appella le valet d’Escurie, & lui dit d’aller chercher un Picotin d’Huitres, & de les donner au plus vite à son cheval. Est-ce que vôtre cheval mange des huitres, reprit le valet d’Escurie? Vous n’avez qu’à essayer, lui dit le Gentilhomme. D’abord tout le monde accourut pour voir cette merveílle, & le feu demeurant libre, le Gentilhomme prit la place qu’il voulut. Un moment aprés le valet d’Escurie rapporte les huitres, & dit que le Chêval n’y vouloít pas mordre, Hé bien, dit le Gentilhomme, il faut que je les mange moí-même.

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106

A Gentleman wanted two resolute Ruffians, to do some Exploit on one that had abused him, his Man brings him two whose Faces were slash’d and Cut: No, says he, I’ll have none of you: but if you can bring me them, who gave you those Wounds, they are for my turn.

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106

Un Gentilhomme ayant affaire de deux Coupe-jarrets determinez pour faire piece à un homme qui lui avoit fait affront, son valet lui en amena deux, qui avoient le visage balafré: Non, dit-il, je ne veux point de vous; Mais si vous pouvez m’amener ceux qui vous ont fait ces Balafres, ils feront mon affaire.

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107

Two Friends, who had not seen one another a great while, meeting by chance, one ask’d the other how he did? he said he was not very well, and was Married since he saw him. That is good news indeed, says he; Nay, not so much good news, neither, replies the other, for I have married a Shrew; that is bad, said the other; not so bad neither, said he; for I had two Thousand Pounds with her; that’s well again, said the other; not so well neither, for I laid it out in Sheep, and they died of the Rot; that was hard indeed, says his Friend; not so hard neither, says he, for I sold the Skins for more Money than the Sheep cost; that made you amends, says the other; not so much amends neither, said he, for I laid out my Money in a House, and it was burn’d: That was a great Loss indeed; Nay, not so great a Loss neither, for my Wife was Burnt in it.

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107

Deux Amis qui ne s’ètoient pas veus depuis long tems, se rencontrant par hazard, l’un d’eux demanda à l’autre comment il se portoit? il lui dît pas trop bien, & qu’il s’ètoit marié depuis qu’il ne l’avoit veu: voilà une bonne nouvelle, dit-il; Pas trop bonne, lui repliqua l’autre, car j’ai épousé une querelleuse; Voila qui va mal, lui dit l’autre; pas tant mal non plus, dit il, car elle m’a apporté deux mille livres Sterlin; voilà qui est encore bien, lui dit l’autre; Pas trop bien non plus, car j’en ai acheté des Moutons, & ils sont tous morts du Tac: Voilà qui est cruel, lui dit son ami; Pas tant cruel, dit il, car j’ai vendu les peaux plus que les Moutons ne me coutoient; Cela vous a dedommagé, lui dit l’autre; Pas beaucoup, car j’en ai acheté une Maison qui s’est brulée; Voilà en verité une grande perte; Pas trop grande, car ma Femme s’y est brulée aussi.

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108

One told his Wife, that he heard for certain, that they were all to be counted Cuckolds in their Town, but one man: Who doest thou think that should be? says he, Faith, says she, Husband, I cannot think who it is for my Life.

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108

Un homme dit à sa Femme, qu’on l’avoit assuré que tous ceux de leur ville passoient pour Cocus, à la reserve d’un seul: Qui crois tu que c’est? dit-il; Urayment, mon mari, dit-elle, je ne saurois m’imaginer qui ce peut être.

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109

A Cheat coming into an Inn, sent for a Shoemaker to bring some Boots, where having try’d on one pair, they fitted him very well; so he asked him the price of them, and told him he could not pay him for them this Week. The Shoemaker then told him, he must have the Boots again, the other perceiving there was no good to be done, takes to his heels, and runs through the Town, and the Shoemaker after him, crying out, stop him, stop him; Some going to stop him, pray do not stop me, for we two run for a Wager, I in Boots and he in Shoes; then they cry’d, Boots wins the Wager, if it were for a Hundred Pounds.

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109

Un Filou ètant venu dans une Hotelerie, il envoya chercher un Cordonnier avec des Bottes, & en ayant essayé une Paire qui lui ètoient propres, il lui en demanda le prix, & lui dit qu il ne pouvoit pas le payer de la semaine; le Cordonnier lui dit qu’il vouloit donc ravoir ses Bottes; l’autre, voyant qu’il n’avançoit rien, prend aussi tôt la fuite, & court à travers la ville, & le Cordonnier aprés lui, criant de toute sa force, qu’on l’arrête, qu’on l’arrete. Comme quelques uns alloient l’arrêter, il leur cria; je vous prie ne m’arrêtez pas, car nous gageons à qui courra le mieux, moy avec des Bottes, & lui avec des souliers; alors ils s’écrierent qu’ils gageoint cent Livres Sterlin que les Bottes gagnoient.

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110

A debauch’d Fellow was brought before a Justice of Peace for swearing; the Justice commanded him to pay his Fine, which was two Shillings for two Oaths; whereupon he pulls out half a Crown, and ask’d the Justice the price of a Curse, who told him Six pence: Then a Pox take you all, says he, for Knaves and Fools, and there’s half a Crown for you: Who the Devil would stand changing of Money.

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110

Un Debauché fut mené devant un juge de Paix pour avoir fait des juremens; Le juge lui ordonna de payer l’amende, qui étoit deux Chelins pour deux juremens; là dessus il tire un demi-écu de sa poche, & demande au juge le prix d’une imprecation, lequel lui dit, Six sols: Et bien, dit il, La Peste vous étouffe Fripons & Fous que vous ètes, voilà vôtre demi écu; qui Diable voudroit s’amuser à changer son argent.

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111

One Pace, a bitter Jester in Queen Elizabeth’s time, came to Court: Come, sayd the Ladies, Pace, we shall now hear of our faults; No, says he, I don’t use to speak of that which all the Town talks of.

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111

Un Certain Pace, grand Railleur du Tems de la Reine Elisabeth, ètant venu à la Cour: He bien, Pace, lui dirent les Dames, nous allons maintenant entendre nos Defauts: Point, dit il, je n’ai pas accoutumé de parler de ce qui fait l’entretien de toute la ville.

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112

A Gentleman riding, had a Dog named Cuckold, which run after a Bitch into an Entry; upon which he, call’d Cuckold, Cuckold; the Woman of the House came out and said he was a Rogue to call her Husband Cuckold; you mistake, says he, I don’t call him, I call my Dog; The more Knave you, says she, to call a Dog by a Christian bodies Name.

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112

Un Getilhomme à cheval, avoit un chien appellé Cocu, qui suivit une chienne dans une Entrée de maison; là dessus il se mit à crier, Cocu, Cocu; La Femme du logis sortit & lui dit qu’il ètoit un coquin d’appeller son mari cocu; Vous vous trompez, dit-il, ce n’est pas lui que j’appelle, c’est mon chien; Vous avez encore plus grand tort, dit elle, de donner à un chien le nom d’un Chretien.

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113

It was the saying of Alphonsus, Sirnamed the Wise, King of Aragon, that amongst so many things as are by Men possest, or eagerly pursu’d in the Course of their Lives, all the rest are Bawbles, besides dry Old Wood to Burn, Old Wine to Drink, Old Frinds to converse with, and Old Books to read.

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113

Alphonse, surnommé le Sage, Roy d’Aragon avoit accoutumé de dire, que parmi tant de choses que lês Hommes possedent, ou qu’ils recherchent avec ardeur pendant le cours de leur vie, tout n’est qu’un vain amusement, excepté du Bois sec & vieux pour bruler, du vin vieux pour boire, d’anciens amis pour converser, & de vieux Livres pour lire.

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114

A Gentleman who had a handsome Wife, used to come very often to London, and leave her in the Countrey; Now in his absence a lusty Fellow, a Carter, was familiar with her, which came to the Gentlemans Ear; Who vow’d he’d kill the Rogue, whenever he met him: and being one Day in the Field, one told him that’s the Fellow has made you a Cuckold; So to him he goes, Sirrah, says he, I hear in my absence, you are familiar with my Wife, and have made me a Cuckold: Well then, Sir, I have done so, and what then? What then, says he? Why if you had not confest it, I would have broke your Pate.

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114

Un Gentilhomme, qui avoit une belle femme, avoit accoutumé de venir souvent à Londres, & de laisser sa Femme à la Campagne; pendant son absence un Drole de Chartier, fort & vigoureux; ètoit familier avec elle, ce qui étant venu aux Oreilles du Gentilhomme, il jura qu’il tüeroit ce Coquin en quelque endroit qu’il pût le renconter; Un jour, ètant aux Champs, quelqu’un lui dit: voilà le Drole qui vous à fait cocu; là dessus il s’approche de lui, & lui dit: Coquin, j’apprens que pendant mon absence vous ètes familier avec ma Femme, & que vous m’avez fait Cocu: Hé bien, Monsieur, dit il, je l’ai fait, qu’est ce qu’il y a? Ce qu’il y a, dit il? C’est que si vous ne l’aviez pas avoüé je vous aurois cassé la tête.

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115

A Young Fellow, told his Wife the first Night he lay with her, that if she had consented to have laid with him before Marriage, he would never have made her his Wife, Faith, says she, I did imagine as much, for I have been cozen’d so three or four times before, and was resolv’d not to be cozen’d so now.

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115

Un jeune homme dit à sa femme la premiere nuit des nôces, que si elle lui eût permis de coucher avec elle avant le Mariage, il ne l’eût jamais épousée: Ma foy, dit elle, C’est ce que je me suis imaginée, car j’ai deja été attrapée trois ou quatre fois auparavant, & je n’avois garde de me laisser encore attraper.

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116

A modest Gentlewoman being compelled to accuse her Husband of defect, and being in the Court, she humbly desir’d the Judge, that she might write what she durst not speak for Modesty; the Judge gave her that liberty, and a Clerk was presently commanded to give her Pen, Ink, and Paper; Whereupon she took the Pen without dipping it into the Ink, and made as if she would write. Says the Clark to her, Madam, there is no Ink in your Pen, Truly, Sir, says she, that’s just my Case, and therefore I need not explain my self any further.

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116

Une Demoiselle modeste ètant forcée d’accuser son Mari d’impuissance, & ètant à l’audience, elle pria tres humblement le Juge de lui permettre d’écrire ce qu’elle n’osoit dire, par Modestie; le Juge lui accorda cette liberté, & commanda d’abord àu Greffier de lui donner une Plume, de l’Encre & du Papier; Elle prit la plume, sans y mettre de l’Encre, & fit semblant d’écrire; Le Greffier luit dit, Madame, Il n’y a point d’Encre à votre plume: Urayment, Monsieur, dit elle, c’est là justement mon cas, & ainsi il n’est pas nécessaire que je m’explique d’avantage.

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117

An Excise-man walking by a River, espy’d a Boy fishing, who knew him to be of that honourable Profession. My pretty Lad, says he, what dost thou fish for? I fish for the Devil, reply’d the Boy, but I want the right Bait to catch him. What Bait is that, say’s the other? Indeed, Sir, I have been told, there is no better Bait in the World, than an Excise-man.

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117

Un Maltotier se promenant prés d’une Riviere vit un Garçon qui peschoit, & qui savoit qu’il étoit de cette honnorable Profession. Petit Garçon, lui dit il, Que pesches tu? Je tâche de pescher le Diable, repliqua le Garçon, mais je n’ai pas la bonne amorce pour l’attraper: Quelle est cette amorce, dit l’autre? Urayment, Monsieur, j’ai entendu dire qu’il n’y à pas de meilleure amorce qu’un Maltotier.

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118

One having been a long Journey, and to make the more hast, rid Post, being come home very weary, desired his Wife to excuse him from embracing of her that Night: She seem’d pretty well contented, but curs’d those in her Heart that invented riding Post. The next day walking with his Wife into the Yard, he espy’d the Cock asleep in the Sun, by the Hens; then he ask’d his Wife, what made the Cock so dull and sleepy. Truly, says she, I don’t know, unless he has rid Post.

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118

Un homme qui venoit d’un grand Voyage, & qui pour faire diligence avoit couru la Poste, ètant arrivé chez lui, il pria sa Femme de l’excuser s’il ne la caressoit pas cette nuit; Elle parut assez contente, mais maudit dans son coeur ceux qui avaient inventé la Poste. Le Lendemain, se promenant dans la Cour avec sa Femme, il vit le Coq endormi au soleil auprés des Poules, & la dessus il demanda à sa Femme qu’est-ce qui rendoit le Coq si pesant & assoupi; Urayment, dit elle, je ne sai, à moins que ce ne soit d’avoir couru la Poste.

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119

A Sea-Captain was saying his Great Grandfather’s, Grandfather, and Father dy’d at Sea. Says one to him, If I were as you, I would never go to Sea for that trick. Why, says he, where did all your Relations dye? He answer’d, In their Beds. Well, reply’d he, If I were as you, (for the same reason) I would never go into Bed.

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119

Un Capitaine de Vaisseau disoit que son Bisayeul, son Ayeul & son Pere ètoient morts sur mer; si j’ètois que de vous, lui dit quelqu’un, je n’irois jamais sur mer à cause de cela. Et où est-ce que tous vos Parens sont morts, lui dit-il? Il repondit dans leur lit. Et bien, repliqua-t-il, par la même raison, si j’ètoit que de vous je ne me mettrois jamais au lit.

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120

An English Merchant in Amsterdam, was to sell a Thousand Pounds worth of Gloves to some Jews, who recanting of the Bargain when they brought their Money, would have but half; the English Merchant desired a little time to sort them, and told them they should have half; so he commanded his Men to put all the Right-handed Gloves in one Parcel, and the Left in another. Then, when the Jews came, he bid them take their Choice, which being done, and the Money paid, they began to pack up, but perceiving at last they were all for one Hand, they were forc’d to take the rest at the Merchant’s Rates.

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120

Un Marchand Anglois à Amsterdam, devoit vendre pour cent livres Sterlin de Gans à certains Juifs, lesquels se dedisant du Marché, en apportant leur Argent n’en voulurent prendre que la Moitié; le Marchand Anglois leur demanda un peu de tems pour les appareiller, & leur dit qu’ils en auroient Moitié; Ensuite il donna ordre à ses Gens de la mettre tous les Gans de la main droite en une Partie, & ceux de la gauche en une autre; quand les Juifs vinrent il leur dit de choisir, ce qu’ayant fait, & payé l’argent, ils commencerent à les empaqueter, mais comme ils s’apperceurent enfin qu’ils ètoient tous d une main, ils furent obligez de prendre les autres au prix du Marchand.

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121

A Gentleman order’d his Man to call him in the Morning at Six of the Clock, but he awaked him at Four: Being ask’d the reason, he reply’d, He came to tell him he had two Hours more to Sleep.

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121

Un Gentilhomme donna ordre à son valet de l’appeller à six heures du Matin, mail il l’éveilla à quatre; & comme il lui en demanda la raison, il répondit: Qu’il venoit lui dire qu’il avoit encore deux heures à dormir.

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122

A Cook serving a miserly Man, said he would go from him; being asked the reason, says he, If I stay here long, I shall forget my Trade.

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122

Un Cuisinier qui servoit un Taquin, dit qu’il vouloit le quitter, & comme on lui demanda pourquoi? C’est, dit il, que si je demeure long tems chez lui, j’oublierai mon metier.

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123

A Lady having two Suitors, one Tall, and the other Short; a Gentleman ask’d her, Which she lik’d best? Says she, Indeed, Sir, I like the tallest, if all things are proportionable.

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123

Une Dame ètant recherchée par deux Galands dont l’un ètoit grand, & l’autre petit, un Gentilhomme lui demanda, lequel ètoit le plus à son gre? Urayment, Monsieur, dit elle, le grand me revient le plus, pourveu qu’il ayt tout à proportion.

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124

One ask’d why Men sooner give to Beggars than Scholars? Another reply’d, Because they think they may sooner come to be Beggars than Scholars.

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124

Un homme demandoit pourquoi on donnoit plûtôt aux Gueux qu’aux Savans? Un autre lui répondit, Parce qu’on peut devenir gueux plûtôt que savant.

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125

One was asking another his Opinion, What the World thought of him? Why, reply’d the other, you appear to the Wise, foolish; to Fools, wise; and pray, what do you think of your self.

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125

Un homme demandoit à un autre, quelle opinion on avoit de lui? Urayment, lui dit l’autre, vous paroissez fou, aux Sages; & Sage, aux fous; mais, je vous prie, que pensez vous de vous même.

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126

A Father chid his Son for rising late, and gave him an instance of a certain Man, who being up betimes, found a Purse full of Gold. Answered the Son: He that lost it, was up still before him.

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126

Un pere grondoit son filz de ce qu’il se levoit tard, & luy disoit pour exemple qu’un certain homme s’ètant levé de bon Matin, il avoit trouvé une bourse pleine de Pistoles, son filz luy répondie. Celui qui l’avoit perdue s’ètoit levé encore plus matin.

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127

A Physitian having sent for a Farrier to cure his Mule; the second time he came, the Physitian put Half a Crown into his Hand. The Farrier return’d it, and told him, Sir, We never take any Money of those of our own Profession.

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127

Un Medecin ayait fait venir un Marechal pour lui guerir sa Mule, la seconde fois qu’il vint, le Medecin luy mit trente, solz dans la main, le Marechal les luy rendit en luy disant, Monsieur, vous ne prenons jamais d’argent de ceux de notre profession.

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128

A Man said that Impertinencies resembled Misfortunes, which never came by themselves, and that when ever be heard any spoke, he would bid it wellcome, provided it came alone.

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128

On homme disoit que les sottises resembloint aux malheurs, qui ne viennent jamais seuls, & qu Vaussitôt qu’il en entendoit dire quelqu’u úne, il disoit, soyéz la bien venuë pourveu que vous soyez seule.

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129

Two young Men demanded a young Woman in Marriage of her Father; one of which was Rich, and the other Poor; the Father having given her to the last, some of his Friends ask’d him, why he did not bestow her on the rich Man? Because, says he, the rich Man has no Wit, and so may grow Poor; but the other, who is a wise and sensible Man, may easily grow Rich.

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129

Deux jeunes hommes demandoient une Fille en mariage à son pere, l’un étoit riche & l’autre pauore, le pere l’ayant donnée au dernier quelques-uns de ses amis lui demanderent pourquoy il ne l’avoit pas donnée à celuy qui étoit riche; Parce que, leur dit-il, Le riche qui n’a point d’esprit, pourra devenir pauvre, mais le pauvre qui est un homme judiceux & sage pouvra facilement devenir riche.

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130

A Man that had but one Eye, met early in the Morning one that had a crooked Back, and said to him, Friend, you are loaden betimes. ’Tis early indeed, reply’d the other, for you have but one of your Windows open.

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130

Un borgne rencontra un matin de fort bonne heure un bossu, & luy dit, compere, vous êtes chargé de bonne heure; il est vray qu’il est de bonne heure, dit le bossu, car vous n’avez, encor qu’ une fenêtre ouverte.

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131

A certain Man said, That Wine had two bad Qualities: First, If you mix Water with it, you spoil it. Secondly, If you mix none with it, it will spoil your own self.

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131

Un certain homme disoit, que le vin avoit deux mauvaises qualitez: la premiere, si l’on met de l’eau dans le Vin, vous le gâtez, la seconde si vous n’y en mettez point, il vous gâte vous même.

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132

Two riding from Shipton to Burford, and seeing a Miller riding softly before them on his Sacks, resolv’d to abuse him; so one went on one side of him, and t’other on the other side, saying, Miller, now tell us, which art thou, more Knave or Fool? Truly, says he, I don’t know, which I am most, but I guess I am between both.

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132

Deux Hommes allant à cheval de Shipton à Burford, & voyant un Meunier, qui alloit tout doucement devant eux monté sur ses sacs, ils resolurent de se moquer de lui, & pour cét effet l’un d’euxse mít à un de ses côtez & l’autre de l’autre, Lui demandant s’il ètoit plut fripon que fou? Vrayment, dit-il, Je ne sai ce que je suis le plus, mais je juge que je suis entre deux.

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133

In Flanders by accident, a Flemish Tyler fell from the Top of a House upon a Spaniard and Kill’d him, though by good luck, he escap’d unhurt himself; the next of the Blood, prosecuted his Death with great Violence against the Tyler; and when he was offered Pecuniary Recompence, nothing would serve him but Lex Talionis; Whereupon the Judge said to him, that if he did urge that kind of Sentence, it must be that he should go up to the Top of the same House, and from thence to fall down upon the Tyler, and so to put him to Death the same way he had kill’d his Kinsman.

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133

En Flandres un Maçon Flamand tomba par accident du Toit d’une Maison sur un Espagnol, & le tua, quio qu’il eut le bonheur d’echapper lui même sans se faire mal; le plus proche Parent fit des poursuites vigoureules contre le Maçon au sujet de la mort du Defunt, & quoy qu’il lui offrit une Recompense pecuniaire, il insistôit toujours sur la loy du Talion. Sur quoy le juge lui dit que s’il demandoit une telle sentence, il faloit qu’il montât sur le Toit de la même Maison & que de là il se jettàt sur le Maçon, & qu’ainsi il le fit mourir, de la mème maniere qu’il avoit tué son Parent.

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134

The Spaniards sided with the Duke of Mayenne, and the rest of those Rebels in France, which call’d themselves the Holy League; and a French Gentleman beîng ask’d the Cause of their Civil Broils, with an excellent Allusion he replied, they were Spania and Mania, seeming by this answer to signifie Σπανία, Penury, and Μανία, Fury; but covertly therein implying the King of Spain, and the Duke of Mayenne.

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134

Les Espagnols favorisoient le patli du Duc De Mayenne & des autres Rebelles de France, qui prirent le nom de Sainte Ligue: Et comme on demandoit à un Gentilhomme François les causes de leurs Brouilleries domestiques, il repondit par cette excellente Allusion, qu’elles ètoient Spanie & Manie; semblant signifier par cette Reponse Σπανία, indigence; & Μανία, la Manie, la Fureur; Mais voulant marquer à mots couverts, le Roy d’Espagne & le Duc de Mayenne.

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135

Thomas Aquinas came one Day to Pope Innocent the Third, in whose Presence they were at that time telling a great Sum of Money: Thou seest Thomas, said the Pope, that the Church need not say now as she did at the biginning, Silver and Gold I have none. Thomas, without study reply’d: You say true, Holy Father, Nor can the Church say now, as the Antient Church said to the Cripple, Arise, walk and be whole. Note by the by that some relate this story of Pope Sixtus IV. and a Cordelier, or Franciscan Frier.

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135

Thomas d’Aquin vint voir un jour le Pape Innocent III. en presence de qui on contoit alors une grande somme d’argent. Tu vois Thomas, lui dit le Pape, que l’ Eglise n’a pas besoin de dire presentement, ce qu’elle disoit dans son enfance, Je n’ai ni or, ni argent. A quoi Thomas lui repliqua sans étude: Il est vray Saint Pere, mais aussi l’Eglise d’àpresent ne peut elle pas dire ce que l’ancienne dit à ce même Boiteux, Leve-toi, marche & te porte bien. Remarquez en passant que quelques uns font ce Conte du Pape Sixte IV. Et d’un Cordelier.

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136

Pope Alexander the sixth was asking Jerome donatus, Ambassador of Venice, of whom the Venetians held those Rights and Customs of the Sea, the Ambassadour answer’d him presently, Let your Holiness shew me the Character of St. Peter’s Patrimony, and you shall find on the back thereof, a Grant made to the Venetians of the Adriatick Sea.

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Le Pape Alexandre VI. demandoit à Jerome Donat, Ambassadeur de Venise, de qui les Venitiens tenoient les Droits, & les Coutumes de la Mer? A quoi l’Ambassadeur repondit sur le champ: Que vôtre sainteté me montre les Titres du Patrimonie de S. Pierre, & vous trouverez au dos, une donation faite aux Venitiens de la Mer Adriatique.

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137

It was the saying of a merry conceited Fellow, that in Christendom there were neither Schollars enough, Gentlemen enough, nor Jews enough: And when answer was made, that of all these there were rather too great a Plenty than any scarcety, he replied, that if there were Scholars enough, so many ignorant Dunces would not be beneficed; if Gentlemen enough, so many Plebeians would not be rank’d amongst the Gentry; and if Jews enough, so many Christians would not profess Usury.

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137

Un Plaisant avoit accoutumé de dire que dans la Chretienté il n’y avoit n’y assez de gens scavans, ni assez de Gentilhommes, ni assez de Juiss: Et comme on lui répondit que bien loin qu’il en manquât il n’y en avoit qu’un trop grand nombre, il repliqua, que s’il y avoit assez de scavans, il n’y auroit pas tant d’ignorans beneficiez; Si assez de Gentilhommes, il n’y auroit pas tant de Roturiers faits nobles; & si assez de Juiss, tant de Chrêtiens ne se feroient pas Usuriers.

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138

In Queen Elizabeth’s time, when the Wars were hot betwixt England and Spain, a negotiation was resolv’d upon to treat of Peace between these two Crowns, in order to which Commissioners were appointed on both sides. They met at a Town of the French King’s. And first it was debated in what Tongue the Negotion should be handled. A Spaniard thinking to give the English Commissioners a shrewd gird, propos’d the French Tongue as most fit, it being a Language the Spaniards were well Skill’d in, and for the Gentlemen of England, I suppose, says he, that they cannot be ignorant of the Language of their Fellow Subjects, since their Queen is Queen of France as well as of England. Nay, in Faith, my Masters, replied Dr. Dale one of the English Commissioners, the French Tongue is too vulgar for a business of this Secrecy and importance, especially in a French Town; Let us therefore rather treat in Hebrew, the Language of Jerusalem, whereof your Master is King; and I suppose you are therein as well skill’d as we in the French.

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138

Du tems de la Reine Elizabeth, dans la chaleur des guerres entre l’Angleterre & l’Espagne, il fut resolu qu’on entreroit dans un Traité de Paix entres ces deux couronnes; Et Pour cét effet on nomma des Commissaires de part & d’autre. Ils s’assemblerent dans une Ville du Roy de France, & la premiere question que l’on mit sur le Tapis fut, en quelle Langue se seroít la negotiation. Un Espagnol, voulant railler les Commissaires Anglois, proposa la langue Françoise comme la plus propre, & que les Espagnols entendoient fort bien, & pour ces Messieurs les Anglois, je crois, dit-il, qu’ils n’ignorent pas la langue des autres sujets François, puis que leur Reine est Reine de France aussi biên que d’Angleterre. De bonne Foy, Messieurs, reprit le Docteur Dale, un des Commissaires Anglois, la langue Francoise est trop vulgaire pour une affaire si secrette & si importante, sur tout dans une ville de France. Traitons plûtôt en Hebreu, qui est la langue de Jerusalem, dont vôtre Maitre est le Roy; pour moi, je suppose que vous y ètes aussi bien versez que nous le sommes dans le François.

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139

Poggius the Florentine tells a merry Story condemning the Folly of such, especially mean Persons, as spend their Time and Estates in Hunting and Hawking. Mr. A——. Physician of Milan, saith he, that cured Mad-men, had a Pit of Water in his House, in which he kept his Patients, some up to the Knees, some to the Girdle, some to the Chin, as they were more or less affected. One of them, that was pretty well recover’d, stood by chance in the Door, and seeing a Gentleman ride by with a Hawk on his Fist, and his Spaniels after him, would needs know to what use all this preparation serv’d? He made answer to kill certain Fowl; the Patient demanded again, what his Fowl might be worth which he killed in a Year. He replied, nine or ten Crowns; and when he urged him further, what his Dogs, Horses, and Hawks, stood him in? He told him four Hundred Crowns; with that the Patient bid him be gone as he loved his Life and Welfare; For, said he, if our Master come and find thee here he will certainly put thee into his Pit amongst Madmen up to the very chin.

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139

Poggius le Florentin raconte une histoire plaisante pour condamner la Folie de ceux qui consument leur Tems & leur Bien à la chasse, & à la Fauconnerie, sur tout quand ce sont des Personnes de bas lieu. Un Medecin de Milan, dit-il, qui guerissoit de la Folie, avoit un creux plein d’eau dans sa maison, où il mettoit ses malades, les uns jusq’aux genoux, les autres jusqu’à la ceinture & les autres jusqu’au menton, selon qu’ils ètoient plus ou moins fous. Un d’eux, qui ètoit déja assez bien remis, se tenoit par hazard devant la Porte, & voyant passer un Gentilhomme à cheval, avec un Faucon sur le Poing, & ses chiens aprés lui, il voulut savoir à quoi servoit tout cét appareil! Il lui répondit à tuer certain Gibier; le malade lui demanda encore ce que pouvoit valoir le Gibier qu’il tuoit en un an? l’Autre lui repliqua neuf ou dix écus; & comme il le pressa de lui dire combien ses Chiens, son Cheval & ses Oiseaux lui coutoient d’entretien tous les ans? Il lui dit quatre cens écus: Le Malade entendant cela lui dit de s’en aller au plus vite, si son salut lui ètoit cher; Car, dit il, si nôtre Maitre vient, & vous trouve ici, il vous mettra assurément dans son creux avec les Foux jusqu’au Menton.

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140

An Amourous Lady having granted an Assignation to a Man who had express’d a Passion for her, she receiv’d him in her Chamber all alone, and very finely drest. The Lover fell on his Knees to her, and after many fine Speeches, Oh! Madam, says he to her, Why have I not got you in the midst of a Wood! What, you design to Cut my Throat, cryed the Lady in a Passion: And thereupon call’d her Women, to rid her of so cold a Lover.

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140

Une Dame Galante ayant accordé un Rendezvous à un homme qui lui avoit temoigné de la Passion, Elle le receut seule dans sa Chambre, & fort parée. l’Amant se mis à genoux auprés d’elle, & aprés plusieurs beaux discours, il lui dit: Ah, Madame, que ne vous tiens-je maintenant dans le fond d’un Bois? C’est donc pour m’égorger, s’ecria la Dame irrittée: & elle appella aussi-tôt ses Femmes pour la delivrer de ce froid Amant.

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141

Two Brothers, who liv’d together favour’d extreamly one another, and bore the same Name. A Man desired to speak to one of them. Which do you ask for? Said the Porter, The Counsellor, answer’d the Man, They are both Councellors. Him that Squints a little; they both Squint. Him that has a handsom Wife; both their Wives are handsom. Well then, him who is a Cuckold. By my Faith, Sir, answered the Porter, I take them both to be Cuckolds. Well, said the Man, these two Brothers are strangely fated to resemble one another.

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141

Deux Freres qui logeoient ensemble, se ressembloient parfaitement, & portoient le même nom. Un homme demanda à parler à l’un des deux. Lequel demandez-vous? Lui dit le Portier: Celui qui est conseiller, repondit cét homme; ils le sont tous deux. Celui qui est un peu louche; ils le sont tous deux. Celui qui est marié; ils le sont tous deux. Celui qui a une belle Femme, ils en sont tous deux. C’est donc celui qui est cocu; Ma foi, Monsieur, lui repondit le Portier, je crois qu’ils le sont tous deux. Voilà, dit cét homme, deux Freres bien destinez à se ressembler.

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142

The Players acting at Paris before King Lewis XIII. a Play against the Men of the Long Robe, had placed among the Spectators one of their Company in a City-dress. This Player, who by his Habit appear’d like a Counsellor at Law, stood up at the merriest part of the Play, and said with a loud Voice, That it was intolerable to see Lawyers thus played upon, and that they should have Satisfaction for it. In short, he charg’d the Player to desist immediately, and forbear going on with so insolent a Play. I will have them go on with it, answered the King, who took him to be a Counsellor, that broke in upon the Respect due to him, by threatening them in his Presence. Which created a new Diversion in the Audience, when they came to know that he was a Player in Disguise. And the King, who understood Raillery, was one of the first that laugh’d at his mistake.

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Les Comediens joüant à Paris devant Louis XIII. une Comedie contre les Gens de Robe avoient fait mettre parmi les Spectateurs, un de leur troupe en Habît de Ville. Ce Comedien, qui avec cét Habit ressembloit à un Conseiller, se leva à l’endroit le plus risible de la Piece, dit hautement que cela n’ètoit pas supportable, de voir ainsi jouer les Gens de justice, & qu’ils en auroient raison. Enfin, il somma les Comediens de cesser à l’instant cette insolente Piece. Et moi je veux qu’ils la joüent, repondit le Roy, qui crut que c’étoit un Conseiller qui lui manquoit de respect en sa presence. Ce qui donna une autre espéce de Divertissement à l’assemblée, lors qu’elle seut que c’étoit un Comedien deguisé. Et le Roy qui entendoit Raillerie, rit le premier d’y avoir été trompé.

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143

The Ingenious come off of Richard I. King of England, for excusing to the Pope his keeping Philip, Bishop of Beauvais his Prisoner, is to be admired. This Bishop was a Warlike Man, very troublesom to the English, who possest the best part of France. Being at last fallen into their Hands, the Pope not knowing how it came to pass, wrote to the King for his Freedom, as being a Clergyman, and one of his beloved Sons. Whereupon the King sent to the Pope the Armour, in which the Bishop was taken, having first caused these Words to be ingraven upon it: Vide an hæc sit Tunica Filii tui vel non: See if this be the Coat of thy Son, or not. Which are the very Words that Jacob’s Children used, when they brought to him the Coat of their Brother Joseph. The Pope viewing the Armour, did ingenuously own, That this Bishop was more like the Son of Mars, than of the Church; and so left him wholly to the King’s Mercy.

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L’Addresse de Richard I. Roy d’Angleterre pour excuser au Pape sa detention de Philippe Evêque de Beauvais, qu’il avoit fait Prisonnier, est admirable. Cét Evêque ètoit un Homme aguerri, & fort incommode aux Anglois, qui possedoient alors la meilleure partie de la France. Etant enfin tombé entre leurs Mains, le Pape, qui en ignoroit la Maniere, écrivit au Roy pour son élargissement, comme étant Ecclesiastique, & un de ses Fils bien-aimez. Le Roy là-dessus envoye au Pape l’Armure que l’Evêque portoit quand il fut pris, y ayant premierement fait graver ces Mots, Vide an hæc sit Tunica Filii tui vel non: Voi si c’est le hoqueton de son Fils, ou non. Qui sont les propres Termes dont se servirent les Enfans de Jacob, lors qu’ils lui presenterent le Hoqueton de leur Frere Joseph. Le Pape voyant l’Armure avoüa de bonne foy, Que cét Evêque avoit en effet plûtôt l’air d’un Fils de Mars, que d’un Fils de l’Eglise, & l’abandonna là dessus au bon plaisir du Roy.

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144

A poor Country-woman of Poitou fell into such a Lethargy, that her Husband, and all the Women of the Neighbourhood, gave her over for Dead. In order to bury her, they only wrapt her up in a Sheet, as ’tis usual with the poor People of that Province. As she was carried to the Church-Yard, they pass’d so pear a Thorn-bush, that being prickt to the Quick by the Thorns, she came out of her Lethargy; but some Years after she died in good earnest. Her Husband apprehensive of another Resurrection, remembred the Thorn-bush. And when his Wife’s Corps came near it, he fail’d not crying several times, Take heed of the Thorn-bush, do not come too near the Hedge.

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Une Pauvre Païsane du Poitou tomba malade d’une si grande Lethargie, que son Mari & toutes les Femmes du voisinage la crurent morte. Pour l’enterrer, on ne fit que l’enveloper d’un Drap, suivant la maniere des pauvres Gens de cette Province. Comme on la portoit au Cimetiere, on passa si prés d’un Buisson d’Epines qu’étant piquée jusqu’au vif par les Epines, elle revint de sa Lethargie; mais quelques années aprés elle mourut tout de bon. Son Mari craignant une autre Resurrection; se souvint du Buisson d’Epines, & quand le Corps de sa Femme passa prés de ce Buisson, il ne manqua pas de crier à diverses fois, Prenez garde au Buisson d’Epines, n’approchez pas trop de la haye.

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145

Sixtus V. being made Pope from a Cordelier, (or Gray-Friar) did not change his Humour by changing his Fortune, but kept still the Character of a facetious Man: And he lov’d to run over in his Mind all the cunning Tricks he had played, and the Adventures of his first Condition. He remembred, amongst other things, that when he a Cordelier, he had borrowed Money of ——, and had not repaid it to him. He therefore inquired about him, and hearing he was still living, he sent him Orders to come, and give him an Account of his Actions. The good Father, who found no Guilt upon him, went to Rome with that Tranquillity of Mind, which is the result of a good Conscience. And being come before the Pope, We are inform’d, says the Holy Father to him, that you have misimployed the Revenues of your Monastery; and we have sent for you, to give us an Account of the Matter. Holy Father, answer’d the Monk, I think my self altogether Innocent as to that. Consider well, said the Pope, Whether you have not indiscreetly lent Money to any Body, particularly to a certain Cordelier, who came to you such a Year. The good Man having thought upon it a while: ’Tis true, said he, Holy Father, He was a great Knave, who got that Money from me upon idle Pretences, and a Promise he made me of repaying it in a little time. Well, said the Pope, we are that very Cordelier you speak of. We are willing to return that Money, according to Promise, and advise you at the same time never to lend any more to Men of that Coat, who are not all cut out for Popes, to be in a Condition to pay you again. The good Man, very much surpriz’d to find his Cordelier in the Person of a Pope, offered to beg his Pardon for calling him Knave. Never trouble your self about it, said the Holy Father, that might be true enough at that time; but God has furnish’d us with means to retrieve our past Offences. Thus he dismist the good Monk, having paid him the Money he ow’d him, and exprest to him great Demonstrations of Favour.

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Sixte V. ètant devenu Pape de Cordelier qu’il ètoit, ne changea pas d’humeur en changeant de fortune, mais conserva le Caractere qu’il avoit d’homme naturellement plaisant, & il aimoit à repasser dans sa memoire les bons Tours qu’il avoit faits, & les aventures de sa premiere Condition. Il se ressouvint entr’autres choses, qu’ètant Cordelier, il avoit emprunté de l’argent du Superieur du Convent de ——, & qu’il ne le lui avoit point rendu. Il demanda donc de ses nouvelles, & ayant appris qu’il vivoit encore, il lui envoya ordre de venir lui rendre conte de ses Actions. Le bon Pere qui n’avoit rien à se reprocher, s’en alla à Rome, avec la tranquillité que donne une bonne Conscience. Quand il fut devant le Pape: On nous a averti, lui dit le S. Pere, que vous avez mal employé les deniers de votre Convent, & nous vous avons envoyé querir pour nous en rendre compte. S. Pere, lui repondit ce Religieux, Je ne crois point avoir failli en cela. Songez, bien, dit le Pape, si vous n’avez point prêté de l’argent à quelqu’un mal-à-propos, & entr’autres à un certain Cordelier qui passa chez vous en une telle année. Ce bon Homme aprés avoir un peu revé, lui dit: Saint Pere, il est vray, C’ètoit un grand Fripon, qui m’atrappa cet argent sous de vains Pretextes, & sur la parole qu’il me donna de me le rendre dans peu. Hé bien, lui dit le Pape, nous sommes ce Cordelier dont vous parlez nous voulons bien vous restituer cet argent, suivant notre Promesse, & vous donner avis en même tems, de n’en plus prêter aux Gens de cette Robe; qui ne sont pas tous destinez à devenir Papes, pour être en êtat de vous le rendre. Le bon Homme fort surpris de retrouver son Cordelier en la Personne du Pape, voulut alors lui demander pardon de l’avoir appellé Fripon. Ne vous en mettez pas en peine, lui dit le S. Pere, cela pouvoit bien être en ce tems-là; mais Dieu nous a donné le moyen de reparer nos fautes passées. Il renvoya ensuite ce bon Religieux, aprés lui avoir rendu l’argent qu’il lui devoit, & lui avoir fait beaucoup de Caresses.

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146

A Divine, preaching before a great Prince, who had taken up Arms against his own Country, compar’d him to Coriolanus, that famous Roman Captain, who having well deserv’d of his Country in the Infancy of the Commonwealth, was banish’d out of it, which piece of Ingratitude he so highly resented, that he came and laid Siege to Rome, assisted by the Volsci. That great Captain, cry’d the Preacher, justly provok’d by the Ingratitude of his Countrymen, was in a Condition to take a cruel Vengeance of them. But at last he was prevail’d upon by the Tears of his Mother and Wife; and those two Ladies obtained from him, what neither the Sacred College of Cardinals, nor the Pope himself, who were gone to meet him, could not obtain.

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146

Un Predicateur prèchant devant un grand Prince, qui avoit pris les Armes contre son Païs, il le compara à Coriolan, ce fameux Capitaine Romain, qui aprés avoir bien servi sa Patrie dans les Commencemens de la Republique, en fut banni. Et cette ingratitude lui toucha si fort au coeur, qu’il vint assieger Rome avec les Volsques. Ce grand Capitaine, s’écria ce Predicateur, Justement irrité de l’ingratitude de ses Compatriotes, ètoit en ètat d’en tirer une cruelle vengeance. Mais enfin il se laissa toucher par les Larmes de sa Mere & de sa Femme: & ces deux Dames obtinrent de lui ce que ni le sacré Collége des Cardinaux, ni le Pape mêmes, qui ètoient allez au devant de lui, n’avoient jamais pu obtenir.

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At these Words the Prince fell a laughing, and could not forbear crying out to the Preacher, Sir, you know not what you say, for in those times there were neither Popes nor Cardinals.

But the Preacher unconcern’d, stoutly maintain’d to the Prince, that he was under no mistake: And for a Proof, my Lord, added he, of what I say, I my self have seen the History of it represented in a Sute of Tapistry, in a Castle of yours at such a place. The Authority of that Tapistry brought in so pat, increased the Laughter. Which discompos’d the ignorant Preacher to that degree, that he duckt, as they call it, in the Pulpit, and went his way without making an end of his Sermon.

Le Prince fit alors un éclat de rire, & ne put s’empécher de s’écrier, Monsieur le Predicateur, vous ne savez pas ce que vous dites, il n’y avait en ce tems-là ni Papes ni Cardinaux.

Mais le Predicateur, sans s’étonner, soûtínt courageusement au Prince qu’il ne se trompoit pas. Et pour marque, Monseigneur, ajoûta t-il, que ce que je vous dis est vray, c’est que j’ai veu cette Histoire representée dans une Tapisserie de votre Chasteau d’un tel Lieu. l’Autorité de cette Tapisserie citée si à propos redoubla les éclats de rire, & l’ignorant Predicateur en fut si troublé qu’il fit, comme on dit, le Plongeon dans sa chaire, & s’enfuit au lieu d’achever son Sermon.

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147

A Bishop entertaining several Prelates at Dinner, had a Side-board Table covered with a Set of large and fine Plate, made by the best Artists; and as his Brethren admir’d the Magnificence of it: I bought it, said he to them, in order to relieve the Poor of my Diocese: My Lord, answer’d one of the Prelates, You might very well have sav’d them the making. Giving him to understand by this answer, that he had purchas’d that Plate not so much out of Charity, as out of Pride and Vanity.

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147

Un Evêque donnant à Diner à plusieurs Prelats, fit dresser un Buffet composé de beaux & grands Ouvrages d’argenterie, faits par les meilleurs Ouvriers. Et comme ses Confreres admiroient la magnificence de ce Buffet, Je l’ai acheté, leur dit-il, à dessein d’en assister les Pauvres de mon Diocese: Monseigneur, lui repondit un de ces Prelats, vous auriez pû leur en épargner la façon. Lui faisant entendre par cette réponse, que sa charité avoit eu moins de part que sa vanité & son luxe en l’achapt de cette Vaisselle.

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A Monk going to preach about the Country, staid at Dinner with a poor Parson of a Country Town; But finding neither the Bread nor the Wine good enough to his Palate, he sent one to buy better, with other necessary Provisions to make a good Meal. As he sat at Table, he call’d for a Box full of Utensils Silver-gilt, which he us’d in his Travels. The Parson, amaz’d at his Magnificence, ask’d him, Whether he had made his Vows? Yes sure, answer’d the Preacher. Then Father, reply’d the Parson, You and I could make a good Monk, for you have made a Vow of Poverty, and I observe it.

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Un Religieux allant prêcher par la Campagne, s’arrêta pour diner chez un pauvre Curé de Village; Mais ne trouvant pas le Pain ni le Vin assez bon, il en envoya achêter de meilleur, avec les autres Provisions nécessaires à faire un bon Repas. En se mettant à table il se fit apporter une Cassette, remplie d’Utensiles d’argent vermeil-doré, dont il se servoit dans ses Voyages. Le Curé, surpris de sa magnificence, lui demanda, S’il avoit fait ses voeux? Oui, sans doute: Répondit le Predicateur, Mon Pere, lui dit alors le Curé, Nous ferions donc vous & moi un bon Religieux, Car vous avez fait le voeu de Pauvreté, & moy je l’observe.

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149

An Italian Parson, Il Piovano Arlotto by name, going through the City of Naples, went to pay his Respects to King Alphonsus, who was told by one of his Courtiers, that this Parson was a jocose sort of a Man, who freely and pleasantly deliver’d his Thoughts to Persons of the highest Quality, and had a Book wherein he used to write down all the Follies of the Chief Men in his time. The King, being disposed to be merry, Messer Piovano, said he to him, Am I set down in your Book? You may see, answer’d Piovano, and having given him the Book, he found there amongst other things: A Piece of Folly committed by Alphonsus King of Naples, in sending to Germany, a German that was in his Court, with two Thousand Ducats to buy him Horses. How do you find that I have done amiss, said the King a little moved, in giving that Commission to a German? Why! answer’d Piovano, because he will stay in his own Country with your Money; What if he returns with Horses, or brings me my Money back again, what wilt thou say then? Said the King: Well then, replied Piovano, I’ll blot your Name out of my Book, and put the German’s instead on’t.

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149

Un Curé Italien nommé Il Piovano Arlotto passant par la ville de Naples, alla saluër le Roy Alphonse, qui apprit par un de ses Courtisans que ce Curé ètoit un homme plaisant, qui disoit librement & agréablement ce qu’il pensoit aux Personnes les plus élevées, & qu’il avoit un Livre où il écrivoit toutes les Fautes des Principaux de son tems. Le Roy, ètant d’humeur à rire, lui dit, Messer Piovano, ne serois je point écrit sur vôtre livre? Vous pouvez voir, repondit Piovano, & lui ayant donné le Livre, il y trouva entr’autres choses, Faute faite par Alphonse Roy de Naples, d’avoir envoyé en Allemagne un Allemand qui ètoit en sa Cour pour lui acheter des Chevaux. En quoi trouves tu que j’aye failli, dit le Roy un peu ému, de donner cette Commission à un Allemand? c’est, répondit Piovano, parce qu’il restera en son Païs avec vôtre argent; Et s’il revient avec des Chevaux, ou qu’il me rapporte mon argent, que diras tu alors? repartit le Roy: Alors, repliqua Piovano, je vous effacerai de mon Livre, & j’y écrirai l’Alemand en vôtre place.

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150

An Italian Parson, one Day invited to Dinner Il Piovano Arlotto, with many other Parsons; and having a mind to shew his Wit, took these aside and told them, Gentlemen, ’tis my opinion that we should make our selves merry to Day with Piovano, who, you know, sets up for a jester, and drolls upon every Body; Being my Clark lies Sick, and that I no Body to wait on us, I will propose to draw Cuts, to see which of us shall go to the Cellar to draw the Wine, and wait on the Rest whilst they are at Dinner: And I will contrive it so, that it shall fall to Piovano’s Lot; which being thus concluded amongst them, was put in Execution accordingly. Piovano smoak’d the Plot, and resolv’d to make his Host Repent it. Down he goes to the Cellar to fill the Bottles, whilst the others fell to, and being come up again with the Bottles, You see, Gentlemen, said he, How I have perform’d what I had to do; let’s now draw Cuts to see which of us shall go down into the Cellar to stop the Hogs-heads I left running. Now the Landlord talk’d no more of casting Lots, and knowing Piovano to be a Man that would as soon do it, as say it, leaves presently his Dinner, and runs to the Cellar, where he finds his Vessels running, and part of his Wine spilt; which as he afterwards expostulated with Piovano, You have no Reason to Complain of me, answer’d he, since I have punctually satisfied the Conditions of the Play, which indeed obliged me to draw the Wine and fill the Bottles, but not to stop the Vessels of a Host who entertains his Guests so scurvily.

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Un Curé Italien invita un jour à diner il Piovano Arlotto avec plusieurs autres Curez; & voulant faire le plaisant, il tira ceux-ci à part & leur dit: Messieurs, je suis d’avis que nous nous divertissions aujourd’huy aux Dépens de Piovano, qui comme vous savez, fait le bon Compagnon, & se moque de tout le Monde; Comme mon Clerc est malade, & que je n’ai personne pour nous servir, j’ai dessein de vous proposer de tirer à la courte Paille, pour voir lequel de nous ira à la Cave tirer le vin, & servir les autres pendant qu’ils dineront, & je ferai en sorte que le sort tombera sur Piovano, ce qui ayant été conclu entr’eux, fut executé. Piovano s’apperceut du complot, & resolut d’en faire repentir son Hôte; il s’en va à la Cave remplir les Bouteilles pendant que les autres commençoient à diner, & étant remonté avec les Bouteilles, Vouz voyez, Messieurs, leur dit-il, comme j’ai fait ce que le sort m’a ordonné; tirons presentement à la courte paille pour voir lequel de nous descendra à la Cave pour refermer les muids que j’ai laissez ouverts. Alors le Maitre de la Maison ne parla plus de tirer au sort, & connoissant Piovano, pour être homme à l’avoir fait comme il le disoit, il quitta promtement son Diner, & courut à la Cave où il trouva ses Muids ouverts, & une partie de son vin perdu; dont il fit ensuite de fort grandes Plaintes à Piovano. Vous n’avez pas raison de vous plaindre de Moy, lui repondit il, puisque j’ay satisfait ponctuellement au jeu, qui m’avoit bien ordonné d’aller tirer le vin, & de remplir les Bouteilles, Mais non pas de refermer les Muids d’un Hôte qui fait si mal les honneurs de sa Maison.

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151

A Courtier playing at Picket in a Gaming Ordinary, and finding by the Cards he took in, that he had discarded amiss, I am a downright Goussaut, cry’d he. Now Goussaut was the Name of a President, who was none of the greatest Wits of his Time; but who hapned to be there behind the Gamester, unperceived by him. This President nettled to hear himself quoted upon such an Occasion, told him, He was a Coxcomb: You say right, reply’d the Gamester, that’s it I meant.

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Un Courtisan joüant au Piquet dans une Academie, & ayant reconnu par les Cartes qui lui rentroient, qu’il avoit mal écarté, il s’écria, je suis un franc Goussaut; c’étoit le nom d’un President, qui ne passoit pas pour être des plus êclairez de son Tems, mais qui se trouva pour lors par hazard derriere le joüeur qui ne l’avoit pas aperceu. Ce President, se sentant offensé d’être cítè en cette occasion, lui dit, qu’il ètoit un sot: Vous avez raison, lui rèpondit le joüeur, c’est cela mêmes que je voulois dire.

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152

Marriage is Sometimes a Cure for Love.

CLitander having seen by chance Celimene, stood both surprised and charm’d with her Beauty. However because she had but a very mean Fortune, and that he was Master of a vast Estate, he reflected upon an Engagement which he found no less strong, than Sudden. He had quite lost his Repose; he felt himself in continual agitation, and feared lest a Passion, so very violent in its first rise, should prompt him at last to gratify his Heart at the Expence of his Fortune. In order to banish so dangerous a Tenderness from his Heart, he went to serve a Campaign in Flanders, but came back deeper in Love than he was at his Departure. Then accusing his own Weakness, he made a second attempt and resolv’d to travel into Italy, but the Diversions of Rome, and the Carnaval of Venice, proved as useless as the Siege of Namur. Clitander return’d more ardent and passionate than ever, and as his Friend Philantes came to visit him, Dear Philantes, said he, I lead a lingring wretched Life; I cannot forget Celimene, I fancy her always present to my view with all her Charms. At last, added he, at last I must marry her, to cease to love her. He did so, and a Months Marriage chang’d his violent and boysterous Love into a gentle and quiet Friendship.

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Le Mariage est quelquefois un Remede contre l’Amour.

CLitandre ayant veu par hazard Celimene, il demeura surpris & charmé de sa beauté extraordinaire, Cependant comme elle n’avoit qu’un bien médiocre, & qu’il avoit des Richesses immenses, il fit Reflexion sur un engagement qu’il trouvoit bien prompt, & bien fort. Il n’avoit plus de repos: Il se sentoit continuellement agité, & il craignoit qu’une Passion qui ètoit si violente dés son commencement, ne le portât enfin à satisfaire son coeur au prejudice de sa Fortune. Pour bannir de son ame une tendresse si dangereuse il alla faire une Campagne en Flandres; mais il revint plus amoureux qu’il n’ètoit parti. Puis, s’accusant de Foiblesse, il fit un second effort & entreprit le voyage d’Italie; mais les Divertissemens de Rome, & le Carnaval de Venise ne furent pas moins inutiles que le Siege de Namur. Clitandre fut à son retour plus passionné que jamais, & comme son Ami Philante fut lui rendre visite, Mon cher Philante, lui dit il, je traine une vie malheureuse; je ne puis oublier Celimene; je m’imagine qu’elle est toûjours devant mes yeux avec tous ses Charmes; Enfin, ajoûta-t-il, enfin il faudra, que je l’épouse pour cesser de l’aimer. Il l’épousa en effet, & un mois de Mariage changea son Amour violente & tumultueuse, en une Amitié douce & tranquille.

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153

Of the Queen of Spain and her Parrots.

THe Camerara Major, or first Lady of Honour and Groom of the Stole, to the last Queen of Spain, was a Woman of a mighty sowr angry Humour, who took upon her rather to govern than to serve her Mistress; She mortally hated two Parrots, the Queen had brought along with her from France, because they could talk French. One Day her Majesty going abroad, the Camerara took the Parrots from their keeper, wrung off their Necks in cold Blood, and then went her way. As soon as the Queen came home, she askt for her Parrots, that were her chief Diversion in a Countrey, where she scarce enjoyed any other. Her Women amaz’d, discover’d Surprize in their Faces, and not being able to answer a Word at first, confess’d the whole Matter at last. This struck her Heart; but she thought convenient to conceal her Resentment. Some time after, the Camerara coming back, and seeing her Majesty calm enough, offered to kiss her Hands, as she us’d to do, but was receiv’d by the Queen with two great Boxes on the Ear. The Confusion of that haughty Woman, upon so sensible an Affront, can hardly be exprest; she went out in a Passion, and gathered all her Kindred and Relations: applied her self to the King, with a Train of Four hundred Ladies, and was so importunate with him for the Reparation of her Honour, that he was fain to come and ask the Queen her Reasons. Sir, replied readily that Ingenious Princess, ’twas but to save a Womans longing. Do you then think two enough, Madam? answer’d the King; else, pray, let her have two Dozen. And as one Misfortune comes upon the neck of another, the Camerara lost her place to boot. A well deserved Reward for such as keep not the Respect due to so Sacred Persons.

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153

De la Reine d’Espagne & de ses Perroquets.

LA Camerara Major, ou la premiere Dame d’honneur, de la feuë Reine d’Espagne, ètoit une Femme d’une humeur chagrine & emportée, qui au lieu de servir sa Maitresse, se croyoit en droit de la gouverner: Elle haïssoit mortellement deux Perroquets que la Reine avoit apportez de France, parce qu ils parloient François. Un jour sa Majesté ètant sortie, la Camerara, prit les Perroquets de celle qui les gardoit, leur tordit le cou de sang froid, & s en alla. Aussi tôt que la Reine fut revenuë, elle demanda ses Perroquets, qui ètoient son plus grand divertissement, dans un Pays où elle n’en avoit guere d’autre; ses Femmes tout étonnées firent paroitre leur surprise sur leur Visage, & ne sachant d’abord que lui repondre, elles lui avoüerent enfin ce qui en ètoit. Cela lui perça le coeur, mais elle trouva à propos de cacher son ressentiment. Quelque tems aprés la Camerara ètant de retour, & voyant sa Majesté assez calme, s’approcha d’elle pour lui baiser la main comme elle avoir accoutumé de faire, mais elle en fut receuë avec deux grands soufflets. A peine peut on exprimer la confusion qu’un affront si sensible donna à cette Femme superbe: Elle sortit toute en colere, & ramassant toutes ses Parentes & Alliées, elle s’en alla trouver le Roy avec une suite de quatre cens Dames, & lui demanda la Reparation de son honneur avec tant d’importunité, qu’ils se vit obligé d’aller chez la Reine, pour savoir ses Raisons. Sire, repliqua cette ingenieuse Princesse, ce n’ètoit que pour faire passer une envie de Femmes: Est-ce donc assez de deux, Madame, repondit le Roy: Autrement, je vous prie, appliquez lui en deux douzaines. Et comme un malheur ne vient jamais seule la Camerara perdit sa place sur le Marché. Digne recompense de ceux qui perdent le respect qui est dû à des Personnes si augustes.

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154

Of an Old Impotent Lord.

AN Old Lord fell in Love with a young Gentlewoman that waited upon his Lady: The Frailty which is pretty common in Waiting-women, being happily supported by the Defects of an Old Man, she found strength enough in her self to resist his Sollicitations: Moreover, she told her Lady of it, and confirm’d by a Shower of Tears those Proofs of her Chastity. It is not possible, Madam, said she, for me to bear it any longer: What does my Lord make of me? And how can he have the Thoughts that I can be wanting in my Duty, either to your Ladiship, or to my Honour? If he goes on at this rate, I beseech your Ladiship to let me be gone. The good Lady very much incensed against her Husband, and no less pleas’d with her Woman’s Honesty, told her, Child never trouble thy self, neither think of leaving me, as long as thou art assured of my kindness to thee. Then Madam, return’d she, be so kind as to free me from my Lord’s Persecutions. Well, said the Lady, there comes now in my Thoughts an expedient very fit for that purpose: Thou must dissemble a kindness for him, and afterwards give him an Assignation in thy Chamber. I, Madam, give him an Assignation? said the Waiting-woman. Hear me out, replied the Lady, When thou hast set the time, and left the Door open, I’ll go in thy place into thy Bed, and thou shalt slip into my Room, and then, when he comes, I’ll make him so asham’d, that he’ll have no more Thoughts of tormenting thee. The Waiting-woman perform’d with care her Lady’s Orders: And the Night being come, the old Dotard crept into the Chamber, and eagerly went to that Bed where his Wife waited for his coming. She did not think it convenient to quarrel with him at first; but this Adventure being carried on more chastly than she had expected, she grew weary on’t, and resolv’d to give her Tongue its liberty, What! is it only for this, said she, that you have been at so much pains? The Husband acknowledging his Error by his Wife’s Voice, I vow, Madam, said he, my Body has been wiser than my Mind, for it has known you, when my blinded Mind took you for a handsom Maid.

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D’un vieux Seigneur Impuissant.

154

UN vieux Seigneur devint amoureux d’une jeune Demoiselle qui servoit sa Femme: La Fragilité qui est assez ordinaire aux Suivantes se trouvant heureusement soutenuë par les defagrémens du Vieillard, Elle eut assez de force pour resister à ses Sollicitations: Elle en avertit même sa Maitresse, & confirma par ses larmes ces Temoignagnes de sa Chasteté. Il n’est pas possible, Madame, lui dit elle, que je souffre davantage: Pour qui me prend Monsieur? Et comment peut-il me croire capable de manquer à ce que je dois & à vous, & à mon honneur? S’il continuë, je vous supplie de me permettre de me retirer. La bonne Dame fort piquée contre son Mari, & trés contente de l’honnêteté de sa Suivante, lui dit, Ma fille, ne te mets point en peine, il ne faut pas que tu songes à me quitter, ètant si asseurée que tu l’es de mon Amitié. Il faut donc, Madame, reprit-elle, que vous me delivriez des Persecutions de Monsieur. Hè bien, lui dit la Dame, il me vient dans l’esprit un expedient fort propre pour cela: Il faut que tu fasses semblant de t’addoueir pour lui, & qu’ensuite tu lui donnes la nuit un Rendez-vous dans ta Chambre. Moy, Madame, lui donner un Rendez-vous? lui dit la Demoiselle; écoute jusqu’áu bout ce que j’ai à te dire, repliqua la Dame: Quand tu lui auras donné l’heure, & laissé la Porte ouverte, j’irai en ta place dans ton lit & tu passeras dans ma Chambre, & alors quand il viendra je lui ferai tant de honte qu’il n’aura plus l’envie de te tourmenter. La suivante executa avec soin les ordres de sa Maitresse: la nuit venuë, le vieillard amoureux se glissa dans sa Chambre, & alla avec empressement dans le lit où sa Femme l’attendoit. Elle ne jugea pas à propos de le quereller d’abord, mais comme cette avanture se passoit plus chastement qu’elle ne s’y ètoit attenduë, elle s’en ennuya, & se resolut enfin de parler: Quoy! n’est-ce donc que pour cela, lui dit elle, que vous vous êtes donné tant de peine? Le Mari reconnut alors son erreur & la voix de sa Femme, Je vous avouë, Madame, lui dit-il, que mon Corps est plus sage que mon Esprit, car il vous a reconnuë, & mon Esprit aveugle vous prenoit pour une jolie fille.

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155

The Widow Exchange.

A Young Lady having lately buried her Husband, whom she call’d Old Simon, ordered a Carver to make her a Statue of Wood, as near his Figure as he could, which was laid by her Side every Night in remembrance of him. In the mean time, a young Gentleman that had a great Passion for her, by the Intercession of some Guineas, prevail’d with her Maid to lay him one Night in the place of Old Simon. The Widow went to Bed, and after her usual manner cast her Arms over her dear Husband’s Statue, and finding it very warm, she crept closer and closer to it, till at length they came very close together, by which she perceiv’d it was not her Wooden Bed Fellow. In the Morning the Maid call’d at her Chamber-door, as she us’d to do, Madam, What will you please to have for Dinner? She reply’d, Rost the Turky that was brought in Yesterday, Boil a Leg of Mutton and Colley-flowers, and get a good Dish of Fruit. Madam, says the Maid, we have not Wood enough to dress so much Meat. If not, reply’d she, you may burn Old Simon.

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155

Le Troc de la Veuve.

UNe jeune Dame, qui venoit d’enterrer son Mari, qu’elle appelloit le vieux Simon, commanda à un Statuaire de lui faire une Statuë de Bois aussi ressemblante qu’il pourroit, laquelle elle faisoit mettre toutes les nuits à son côté, pour se souvenir de lui. Cependant un jeune Gentilhomme qui l’aimoit passionnément, gagna si bien sa Servante par l’entremise de ses Guinées, qu’elle le mit une nuit en la place du vieux Simon. La Veuve s’alla coucher, & selon sa coutume embrassa la Statuë de son cher Mari, & la trouvant fort chaude, elle s’en approcha davantage, jusqu’à ce que s’ètant embrassez fort étroitement, elle s’apperceut que ce n’ètoit point son homme de Bois. La Matin, sa Servante vint à la porte de la Chambre selon sa coutume, & lui demanda ce qu’elle souhaitoit avoir à diner? A quoi elle répondit, Fais rotir le Dindon qu’on apporta hier, & bouillir un Gigot de Mouton avec des choux fleurs, & achete nous un bon plat de Fruit, Madame, dit la Servante, nous n’avons pas assez de Bois pour apprêter tant de Viandes. Et bien, repliqua-t-elle, vous n’avez qu’à bruler le vieux Simon.

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156

The Foolish Confession.

A Simple Fellow in Lombardy, had a great Love to a young Maid, as he thought she was, and that they might live peaceably and quietly together, he thought of this Expedient; one day he told her, that it was his full intent to marry her, and to prevent future Quarrels, he said, he would tell her all the Secrets of his Heart, that their Alliance might be the stronger. Among many other things, he told her, That in the Heat of his Youth, he got a Son on a Friend of his, which Friend was yet living, and desir’d her not to take it amiss. No, no, said she, I am very well pleas’d, for a Friend of mine got me with Child, and it is a Daughter; and if you intend to fortify our Alliance, it may be done with another Marriage, between your Son and my Daughter.

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156

L’aveu Indiscret.

UN Idiot en Lombardie, ètoit fort amoureux d’une Fille qu’il croyoit être Pucelle; & afin de vivre en paix & en bonne amitié avec elle, il s’avisa de cét expedient; un jour il lui dit qu’il avoit resolu de l’épouser, & que pour éviter toutes sortes de querelles à l’avenir, il vouloit lui dire tous ses Secrets, afin de rendre par la leur Alliance plus ferme: Entre autres choses, il lui dit, que dans la Chaleur de sa jeunesse il avoit fait un Garçon à une de ses amies, laquelle ètoit encore en vie, & qu’il la prioit que cela ne lui fit point de peine. Non, non, dit elle, j’en suis fort contente, car un de mes Amis m’a fait une Fille, & si vous voulez fortifier nôtre Alliance, nous pouvons le faire par un autre Mariage de vôtre Fils avec ma Fille.

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157

The Gascon punish’d.

A Young Widow, rich and beautiful, was belov’d by a young Gascon; both poor and proud. This Gascon had a mind to be thought very intimate with the Lady, and boasted of more Favours than he receiv’d. The Lady, who lov’d to be Merry, resolv’d to punish him for it after a new manner: I know, said she to him, you have an Affection for me, and doubt not but you will give me proofs of it upon an Occasion that now offers it self. The Gascon assur’d her he was ready to do any thing to serve her. You know, added the Widow, such a Lady of my Acquaintance, who has a Cross and Jealous Man to her Husband, that will never give her leave to lie abroad; now it is necessary, for some private Reasons, that she should lie with me to Night; and what I desire of you, is to lie in her place, that her Husband, who will come home late, finding you in his Bed, may take you to be his Wife: And as he rises earlier than she, to go about his Business, he will take no notice of any thing; for though he be Jealous of his Wife, he seldom disturbs her Rest at Night. The Gascon consented to every thing, and suffer’d himself to be carried to his Mistress’s Friend; they dress’d his Head in Womens Night-Cloaths, and afterwards he laid himself in the Bed of the Jealous Husband, who the young Lady knew would not be at home that Night. The two Ladies left the Gascon alone in Bed, and a little while after the young Widow came in in her Night Gown, and without a Light, and went to Bed to him. The Gascon, who took her for the Jealous Husband, was in great Pain and Trouble; he lay extreamly close, and turning his Back to the young Widow, put himself as near the other side of the Bed as possible. Thus he spent a whole Night more restless and uneasy than any in his Life, being still apprehensive of some preposterous Caresses from the Jealous Husband; but his Trouble increas’d when at break of Day, the young Widow rung a Bell, at the noise of which he heard some body coming into the Room; he cover’d his Head with the Bed-Cloaths, and such was his fear of being known, that he wish’d he could have buried himself in the Bed. Now ’twas the Widow’s Friend that came in, and open’d the Curtains, and at that very instant the Widow rose from Bed adorn’d with all her natural Beauties, which made almost the Gascon die with Regret, Spite, and Shame, for making such ill use of so favourable a Night.

FINIS.

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Le Gascon puni.

UNe jeune Veuve belle & riche, ètoit aimée par un jeune Gascon, pauvre & presomptueux. Ce Gascon vouloit qu’on crut qu’il ètoit fort bien avec cette Dame, & divulguoit beaucoup plus de faveurs qu’il n’en recevoit. La Dame qui ètoit d’une humeur enjoüée & plaisante, resolut de l’en punir d’une maniere nouvelle: Je sai, lui dit elle, que vous avez de l’Affection pour moy, & je suis persuadée que vous voudrez bien m’en donner des Marques dans une Occasion qui se presente; le Gascon lui temoigna étre prêt à tout faire pour son Service; vous connoissez, ajoûta la veuve, une telle Dame de mes amies, qui a un Mari jaloux & fort incommode, & qui ne lui permet pas de coucher hors de chez lui, cependant il est nécessaire, pour des Raisons particulieres, qu’elle couche ce soir chez moy, & ce que je desire de vous est que vous ailliez vous coucher en sa place, afin que son Mari, qui ne reviendra que tard, vous trouvant dans son lit croye que c’est sa Femme; & comme il se leve de meilleur matin qu’elle pour aller à ses Affaires, il ne s’appercevra de rien, car quoy qu’il soit fort jaloux de sa Femme, il n’a pas accoutumé de troubler son repos durant la nuit. Le Gascon aprés avoir consenti à tout ce qu’elle voulut, se laissa mener chez l’Amie de sa Maitresse; on lui mit une coiffure de nuit telle que les Femmes en portent, & il se mit ensuite dans le lit du Mari jaloux qui ètoit absent, & que la jeune Veuve savoit bien ne devoir pas revenir ce soir là: les deux Amies laisserent le Gascon seul dans ce lit, & quelque tems aprés la jeune Veuve entra en Robbe de Chambre, & sans lumiere, & alla se coucher auprés de lui. Le Gascon qui la prenoit pour le Mari jaloux, ètoit en une peine extreme; il tenoit fort peu de place, & tournant le dos à la jeune Veuve, il s’ètoit mis le plus prés qu’il avoit pû de l’autre bord du lit. Il passa de cette sorte une nuit la plus in quiete qu’il eût jamais euë, apprehendant toûjours quelques Caresses à contre tems du Mari jaloux, mais sa peine fut encore plus grande, lorsque le jour comçant à paroitre, la jeune Veuve prit une sonnette au bruit de laquelle il entendit qu’il entroit quelqu’un dans la Chambre; il se couvrit la tête avec la Couverture, & auroit voulu s’abimer dans le lit, tant il avoit peur d’être connu. Ce fut l’Amie de la Veuve qui entra & qui ouvrit les rideaux du lit, d’où la veuve sortit aussitôt parée de toutes ses beautez naturelles, qui penserent faire mourir le Gascon de regret, de depit, & de honte d’avoir fait un si mauvais usage d’une si belle nuit.

FINIS.

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BOOKS printed for Thomas Newborough and John Nicholson.

THe Compleat French-Master, for Ladies and Gentlemen. Containing, I. A New Methodical French Grammar. II. A Large and Copious Vocabulary. III. Familiar Phrases, with the Niceties of the French Tongue. IV. Familiar Dialogues. V. Dialogues of Wit and Humour, upon Love, and other Subjects. The Six last done out of Spanish. By Mr. Savage. For the use of His Highness, the Duke of Glocester. By Mr. Boyer, Author of the Royal Dictionary. The Second Edition, Corrected and much Enlarged.

The History of the Buccaneers of America: From their first Original down to this Time. Written in several Languages, and now Collected into one Volume. The Whole newly Translated into English, and Illustrated with Twenty five Copper Plates. Octavo.

A new Survey of the West-Indies, being a Journal of Three thousand and three hundred Miles within the Main Land of America. By Tho. Gage, the only Protestant that was ever known to have Travell’d those Parts. The Fourth Edition enlarg’d by the Author. With an Accurate Map. Octavo.

The History of Portugal; from the first Ages of the World to the late Revolution, under King John the Fourth, in the Year 1640. Written in Spanish by Emanuel de Faria y’ Souso, Knight of the Order of Christ. Translated and continued down to this Year, by Capt. John Stevens. Octavo.

There is in the Press, and will be speedily Published,

A Dictionary of the Roman and Greek Antiquities. Written by Peter Danett for the use of the Dauphin, Duke of Burgundy, Anjou and Berry. Translated into English for the use of Schools.

chapter

TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE

Introduction

Original spelling and grammar have generally been retained, with some exceptions noted below. This fact is especially noteworthy herein, as this book exhibits great variety in spelling and grammar, and much of it differs greatly from modern usage. There are many variations that may be regarded as probable typographical errors, which nevertheless have been retained. Original ſ (now Unicode U+17f) have been changed to s throughout; and original ß (U+df) have been changed to ss. The transcriber produced the cover image and hereby assigns it to the public domain. Scanned images of the original pages are available from archive.org — search for

“wiseingeniouscom00boye”.

The original pagination has been discarded. The book was comprised of English text on verso (left-hand) pages, and corresponding French text on recto (right-hand) pages. The pagination was unusual, in that the first printed page of the book — the English title page — occurred on a verso page. This page was unnumbered, but shall be counted in this discussion as page i. Page ii displayed the French title page. A Prefatory Introduction started on page iii, verso. The last page of introductory material fell on page xiv, recto. The first chapter, The Apophthegms of the Ancients, fell on the first numbered page (1), verso.

This ebook cannot retain the verso/recto arrangement. In this edition, the English text is generally aligned to the left margin while French text is indented to the right. Paragraphs of French text have been moved from their original locations to follow directly the corresponding paragraphs of English text. Paragraphs originally broken at page n and continued on page n+2 are reunited.

Table of Contents

- Title Page

- Introduction

- The Apophthegms of the Ancients

- The ingenious Thoughts, noble Sentiments,

Jests and witty Reparties of the Moderns

- Advertisements

Changes, Detailed

- Page vii. The phrase “Proper, and and the” was changed to “Proper, and the”.

- Page  11 ¶16. Changed “borc” to “bore”.

- Page  20 ¶26. In “j’ay défait Hannibal” (as shown in this transcription), the acute accent over the e looked more like “ẻ” (U+1ebb latin small letter e with hook above) in the original print.

- Page  34 ¶51. “marié ees Mots” to “marié ces Mots”.

- Page  35 ¶57. “aswered” to “answered”.

- Page  65 ¶119. “Clock is too Cold” to “Cloak is too Cold”.

- Page  86 ¶161. Paragraph heading changed from 162 to 161.

- Page  88 ¶165. Paragraph heading changed from 164 to 165.

- Page  98 ¶184. “sou utilité” to “son utilité”.

- Page 130 ¶7. “Grand d’Espapne” to “Grand d’Espagne”.

- Page 132 ¶11. “Epitapnes” to “Epitaphes”.

- Page 136 ¶21. “fott” to “fort”.

- Page 138 ¶23. “blesla” to “blessa”.

- Page 143 ¶35. “Humlity” to “Humility”.

- Page 148 ¶41. “demeurent au dessous” to “demeurent au dessus”.

- Page 152 ¶51. “uomment” to “nomment”.

- Page 152 ¶54. “lni” to “lui”.

- Page 155 ¶60. “Archqishop” to “Archbishop”.

- Page 161 ¶71. “difficujty” to “difficulty”.

- Page 165 ¶75. “qu’ll desiroit” to “qu’il desiroit”.

- Page 170 ¶87. “chacum” to “chacun”.

- Page 200 ¶135. “l’ Fglise” to “l’ Eglise”.

- Page 202 ¶136. “Contumes” to “Coutumes”.

- Page 223 ¶154. “Ladi-” to “Ladiship”.

- Page 230 ¶156. “nous pouvous” to “nous pouvons”.

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Table of Contents

The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Wise and Ingenious Companion, French and English;, by Abel Boyer

The Wise and Ingenious Companion, French and English: or, A Collection of the Wit, of the Illustrious Persons, both Ancient and Modern: Containing Their wise Sayings, noble Sentiments, Witty Repartees, Jests and pleasant Stories. Calculated For the Improvement and Pleasure of the English and Foreigners.

A Prefatory INTRODUCTION; CONCERNING The Excellency, Nature and Use of wise Sayings witty Repartees, Jests, and pleasant Stories.

The Apophthegms of the Ancients, being Their wise Sayings, fine Thoughts, noble Sentiments, Jests and witty Repartees, &c.

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The Ephesian Matron. 192

A Story taken out of Apuleius’s Golden Ass. 193

Conte tiré de l’Ane d’Or d’Apulée. 193

A Story taken out of Theophilus. 194

The ingenious Thoughts, noble Sentiments, Jests and witty Reparties of the Moderns; with some pleasant Stories, English and French.

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152 Marriage is Sometimes a Cure for Love.

153 Of the Queen of Spain and her Parrots.

154 Of an Old Impotent Lord.

155 The Widow Exchange.

156 The Foolish Confession.

157 The Gascon punish’d.

BOOKS printed for Thomas Newborough and John Nicholson.

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE