Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 14, July 24, 1858
Date: 2018-04-17T00:00:00+00:00
Keywords: New York (N.Y.) -- Politics and government

The Project Gutenberg eBook of Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 14, July 24, 1858

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Title: Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 14, July 24, 1858

Author: Stephen H. Branch

Release date: April 17, 2018 [eBook #56992]

Language: English

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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR, VOL. 1 NO. 14, JULY 24, 1858 ***

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Stephen H. Branch's Alligator - Volume 1, Issue 14

Volume I.—No. 14.] | SATURDAY, JULY 24, 1858. | [Price 2 Cents.

Conference of Methodists.

The miser Harpers still Harping on the Dimes—The self-degradation and downfall of the Harpers, who “played on the Harp of a thou-sand strings—sperrits of just men made perfic!”

John Harper—Brothers: These are desperate times.

Wesley Harper—Yes, and something must soon be done, or we must again suspend.

Fletcher Harper—That’s so.

Evil Genius—Go ahead!

Good Genius—Beware!

Jack—Our stock in the Courier and Enquirer don’t pay. We have had the best place and the largest type in the columns of that Journal for 20 years, and I tell you, brothers, it don’t pay. While young Fletch had stock in the Times, we had the best place, and the biggest type, but you all know it didn’t pay. Nor do any of the public journals yield a fair return for our enormous advertising investments.

Jim—Jack: What in the devil are you driving at? Upon my soul, you positively alarm me. Why, I declare, I never saw your eyes roll so, nor your jaws close so fiercely, nor your fist fall so heavily on your knee. Now, for the Lord’s sake, do disclose, in common parlance, what you mean by your mysterious declamation. (Wesley takes out his pen knife, and cuts his nails, and Fletcher takes a fresh cud of tobacco, and crosses his legs.)

Jack—I have had an interview with James Gordon Bennett.

Jim—Fletch: Hand me that fan. Wes: Please open the window. Sam: Bring me a glass of ice water. Now, Jack, proceed.

Jack—Bennett spoke of other days, and inquired after our health.

Jim—Whose health?

Jack—Mine and yours.

Jim—What the devil did he mean by that? My health is always good. I never had the rheumatism or gout, like you, Jack. What did the old reprobate mean by inquiring about my health? I’ll thank him to mind his own business.

Jack—Jim: Listen: For thirty years, you have imposed on me the financial department of our vast establishment, until I have racked my brain, and nearly worn myself into the grave, and I am pursued in my old age, by our creditors, as never before. True, we recently resumed payment, but we know that we did that for effect, and before we were fairly out of the woods. I tell you, brothers, we are in a very critical condition. People want bread, instead of books and papers, in these days of famine and commercial desolation. Now, brothers, I am desperate, and I favor a resort to desperate measures, to save the credit of our House.

Jim—I think I smell a skunk. To save our pecuniary credit, you would sacrifice our honor. Talk out, Jack, for I too am growing desperate, when the scuffle is between credit and honor, and I will die in defence of the latter.

Jack—Is not our Weekly declining, and our Monthly rapidly decaying, and our general business nearly paralysed. Must we not pay our notes? And how can we do that, unless we adopt the course of Bonner, who is devouring all the publishers of the civilised world. Now, Jim, it is very pleasant for you to sit here two or three hours every day, and talk about temperance, (and take a glass on the sly occasionally,) and praise Methodism, (and go to the Theatre, and some other very curious places of amusement,) and hold political meetings in our counting room, which you fill daily with a gang of seedy political vagabonds, who once, (with the aid of Divine Providence, and Methodists, and Daniel F. Tiemann, and Peter Cooper, and Judge Sidney Stewart, and the politicians of the Second, Sixth, and Eleventh Wards,) set a ball in motion, that elected you Mayor of New York, from which you did not make a cent, and did not add a cipher to your private fortune,—I say, all this is mighty pleasant for you, but not for me, as the entire financial department of our immense establishment has ever been on my shoulders, and I am getting very old, and I now am about to change our tactics, or we are forever lost.

Jim—Go on, Jack—go on. But stop a moment. Fletch: Just open the desk, and pass me the bottle of brandy. (Takes a stiff horn.) Now, Jack, go on, for I am prepared for anything.

Jack—I told Bennett that I thought of publishing his biography favorably in our Weekly.

Jim—And what did the old devil say to that?

Jack—His eyes brightened and glistened with perfect delight, and he said it was a darm fine idea.

Jim—Wes: Do you hear all this?

Wes—O yes: I was with brother John, at the interview with Bennett and Hudson, at the Herald Office.

Jim—And Fletch: What have you to say?

Fletch—I was there, too.

Jim—Here, Ike, run for your life to the Apothecary, and get me some Camphor and Asafetida. Sam: Bring me a lump of ice, and hold it on my head. My blood rushes with great violence to my brain. Fletch: Just pass the brandy bottle this way once more. O my God, my good brothers, I fear you will be the death of your brother James. I never thought we would come to this. John is nearly seventy years old, and I am on the winter side of sixty, and Wesley is sixty, and Fletcher is nearly sixty, and after a long life of toil, and the preservation of our business honor, and with children and grandchildren soon to fill our places on the field of action, it is now proposed to prostrate ourselves at the feet of a man, who has led a life of infamy from his youth to the present hour, and who has pursued to the grave many a virtuous and timid female, and many a noble merchant, who were so unfortunate as to get in his wicked clutches. O, brothers, I had rather starve, than succumb to Bennett, who has abused us all our days. We can survive our present misfortunes, without disgracing our Weekly with the panegyric of James Gordon Bennett, which will injure our respectable family journal more than we shall realise from our advertisements and all the puffs we can squeeze from Bennett. There’s my private fortune. Take it, and I will gladly return to a one story dwelling, and to utter penury, before I will sacrifice my self-respect, and my honor, to such a monster as James Gordon Bennett.

Jack—Myself, and Wesley, and Fletcher, have long considered this, and we are unchangeable, as we deem it our only means of salvation. It is incontrovertibly true, that Bennett has the largest circulation of any paper in America, and if he will permit us to advertise, and puff us like Bonner, why, I am willing to make any sacrifice.

Jim—I perceive the old liar has been as quiet as a mouse about his prodigious circulation, since he had to swear in the Carr libel case, that his circulation was only about 50,000. The old scamp, just prior to his oath, declared that his circulation was nearly 100,000. Once a liar, always a liar, is my motto, and I don’t believe the Herald’s circulation is as large as that of the Sun, which is conducted by Moses S. Beach, who is an honest man, and a true Christian, and a meritorious gentleman.

Jack—Say what you will, Jim.—Wes, and Fletch, and myself are resolved to extend our hands to Bennett in terms of the warmest friendship.

Jim—Well, brothers, you are three to one, and as ours are democratic institutions—that is, as the country we have adopted, is democratic (for some of us are of English birth, and the rest of us had a very narrow escape, although the world is ignorant of the fact)—I say, that as you are all against my judgment in this matter, and as I don’t like to leave you in my old age, why, I shall very reluctantly, and in tears—as you see—(he cries) consent to sell ourselves to James Gordon Bennett, whom I have always regarded as the incarnation of a lie, and of the devil. And now, brothers, I am prepared to go to the Herald Office, and for your sake, affectionately press Bennett’s hand in hypocrisy, and publish his biography, in our Weekly, daubed all over with whitewash, and without any severity of allusion to Helen Jewett, or Grinnell, or any of his black mail victims, or the numerous males and females whose early graves he dug. And now I’ll take another copious draught of brandy, and then I’m ready for our degradation, and for the first step in the eternal downfall of the Harpers, who have preserved their business honor all over the world, until this evil and melancholy hour. Now, brothers, come on, and I’m ready to face Bennett and the devil himself, and kiss their toes, if it is your behest. (They all go to the Herald Office, two abreast, with their numerous posterity, three abreast, in the rear, young Fletch leading the younger tribes, with a Weekly and Monthly in either hand, to show Mr. Bennett as a sample.)

(To be continued.)

Randall’s Island.

The evening sun gilds the trees and spires—The lily and rosy and classic Mistress on her couch reclining.

ENTER GOVERNOR DANIEL F. TIEMANN.

Amorous Dan—Good evening, my pretty Violet.

Violet—A warm salute to my kind protector.

Dan—Has Governor Simeon Draper been here to-day?

Violet—Yes, and Governor Bell. Simeon forced a dozen kisses from my lips and cheeks.

Dan—O, the scamp! (Sits by her side, and sips luscious fragrance from her cherry and rosy lips, while she archly reclines on the sofa that he purchased for her)—Sim is a bold villain. Did he seek more than a kiss?

Violet—He again strove hard to ravish me.

Dan—But you foiled him?

Violet—I did.

Dan—O, my love, let me reward thee with these grateful lips. (Kisses her twenty times in rapid succession.)

Violet—O, dearest, I fear you will smother me with gratitude. Do not strangle me with such emblems of affection.

Dan—I love thee too fervently, my charming Violet.

Violet—I’m sorry you have a family.

Dan—And so am I, my fair one. But neither kin nor stranger shall blight our sweet relations. Thou art all to me. Without thee, I am most desolate.

Violet—I fear Simeon Draper will mar our happy destiny.

Dan—Why?

Violet—Because he loves me.

Dan—His love is of a lustful nature, while mine is from the purest rivulets of the heart.

Violet—I know you adore my spirit, while he only loves my form.

Dan—And dost thou avow so much? O, breathe those sweet tones again.

Violet—Shall I sing them, dearest?

Dan—O what bliss is this! Sing, O sing, my beauteous Violet, and entrance my heart with thy celestial music.

Violet sings— | For many a day,
| With doubtful ray,
| I gazed for thee,
| O’er lea and sea:
| And from my heart,
| Thou ne’er shalt part,
| So dear to me,
| Thy love will be.
| So on my bed,
| Repose thy head,
| And from my lip
| Choice honey sip.
Dan— | O my! and O thy!
| I will ever try
| To please thy fair eye,
| So happy am I.
Violet— | Come, O come with me,
| And most happy be.
Dan— | O, O, O!

(They retire for the night.)

MORNING TWILIGHT.

Dan—Dear Violet, if Sim comes to-day, and strives to coerce you, scream to the peak of your lungs, and terrify and threaten to expose him. I love you so devoutly, that I cannot live if he continues to molest you. I have already expelled your Friend from the Island. My affection for my fair Violet has the intensity of Othello’s for Desdemona, ere Iago maddened the honest Moor with fatal jealousy.

Violet—Simeon Draper threatens to have me suspended. He got me my situation as Matron, and as he has been a Governor much longer than you, and as himself and Richard B. Connolly have long controlled the Island, had I not better be a little familiar with Simeon, so that I will not arouse his wrath to such intensity as to peril my situation as Matron? Please view these matters with discretion, my noble Daniel.

Dan—I can’t consider them for a moment. Draper may be powerful, but he has not the might and wealth of the Tiemanns and Coopers. So, don’t be alarmed, dear Violet. Myself and Peter Cooper can protect you against the world. When did Simeon threaten to suspend you?

Violet—Yesterday.

Dan—Did he assign the cause?

Violet—Because he thinks I love you better than him.

Dan—How did he learn my intimacy with you?

Violet—When you came to see me last week, he was sitting on the sofa with me, while you knocked at the door.

Dan—Good gracious! And where did he go when I entered?

Violet—He ran into the bed room, and got under the bed.

Dan—Thunder and lightning! O, if I had only caught him. And why did you not tell me, my constant Violet?

Violet—Because I feared you would kill him.

Dan—You were right, and exercised great prudence, and probably saved his life, as I might have slain him. (Paces the room in great agitation.) Gods! I feel murderous! When do you again expect him?

Violet—Never, as he emerged from under the bed in great anger, after you left, and cursed me long and fearfully, for keeping him under the bed so long, while you were permitted to enjoy the beauties of my person.

Dan—What did he threaten when he left?

Violet—To have me suspended immediately.

Dan—I dare him to make the attempt. I would spend my last dollar to have you reinstated. And I will instantly depart for the city, and put wires in motion that will paralize his wicked purpose.

Violet—I fear you are too late, as he left in a desperate rage, and has probably decapitated my Matron head already.

Dan—I, too, am in a furious rage, and I am resolved to defeat his unhallowed project. So, a sweet adieu, my lovely Violet, and when we meet again, we’ll embrace and entwine our forms and hearts with unwonted hilarity and fervor.

Violet—(Weeping). Good-by, sir.

Dan—And why do you weep, my fair and gentle lady? Have I offended thee, sweet angel?

Violet—No, but you were going to leave me without your wonted kiss.

Dan—O, my pretty and tender Violet, do forgive my cruel mental absence. For my distracted mind was riveted on Simeon’s plots to destroy you. So, there, (kissing her), and there, and there, and—

Violet—That will suffice. I fear your enthusiastic and endless kisses will again threaten me with strangulation. O, Daniel! Daniel! thou art a dear and fervent lover, and I do hope you will return to-morrow, and pass the night with thy devoted, and pensive, and lonely Violet!

Dan—I will—I will:

And now a very brief adieu,

While I Sim Draper do pursue.

(He goes towards the shore, and she fastens her tearful eyes on his prancing form, until it fades from her dismal view, and she retires to her lonely apartment, and weeps like the wretched Niobe.)

(To be continued.)

Stephen H. Branch’s Alligator.

NEW YORK, SATURDAY, JULY 24, 1858.

STEPHEN H. BRANCH’S “ALLIGATOR” can be obtained at all hours, at wholesale and retail, at No. 114 Nassau Street, (Second Story), near Ann Street, New York.

My Indictment for Libel.

When I was a little boy, a classic youth passed me, on a bright summer day, in Westminster street, in Providence, Rhode Island, whose name was Sylvester S. Southworth. His cheeks were so rosy, and his form so beautiful, and his face so graceful, that I paused and gazed until he descended my farthest horizon. In later years, I formed his acquaintance, and he became my friend, and in all my vicissitudes, he has evinced the fidelity of an affectionate brother. When William Tell was about to hurl an arrow at the temples of his child, he inquired, in the presence of Gesler: “Have I a friend here?” when a brave youth leaped forth, and exclaimed: “Yes, Tell, you have,” which thrilled the populace with delight, and made Gesler tremble. On Wednesday last, when in custody of the Sheriff, and in pursuit of bail, I looked in the direction of Heaven, and I could see a friend there, in the spirit of my lamented Father, but in the cheerless pavement, and in the cold faces of the multitude, I could discern no friend, and my poor heart was bereft of its wonted buoyancy. But when Mr. Joyce, the kind hearted Sheriff, accompanied me to the editorial room of Sylvester S. Southworth, of the New York Mercury, and I inquired: “Have I a friend here?” he sprang and seized my hands, and exclaimed: “Yes, Branch, you have,” and he became my bail, and my heart bounded from the gloom of a dungeon, to the liberty of a mountain. For twenty years, I have gratuitously written for the public journals of New York. For seven years, I wrote the Reports of Alfred Carson, against Municipal thieves, including Mayor Tiemann, who was then an Alderman. For two years, I pursued George W. Matsell, Richard B. Connolly, George H. Purser, and other perjured aliens. What I have suffered through severe toil and illness and penury, in my pursuit of public plunderers, and unnaturalized aliens, no inspired mind can ever truly describe. For three months past, I have exposed such bogus philanthropists and public thieves and rakes as Peter Cooper and Mayor Tiemann and Simeon Draper. And I most solemnly swear, that I will never cease my exposition of public robbers and villains of every grade, until the arrow of death penetrates the core of my heart. The Press and the People may conspire against me, and a Jury may soon consign me to the solitude of a dungeon, but while I enjoy the blessings of liberty, I will hurl shafts of political death at such monsters as Cooper and Tiemann and Draper, who have bamboozled and plundered the people for thirty successive years. So, come on, ye incarnate demons, and (through power and gold and bribes, and packed juries, and your official vassals and ruffians,) drag your victim to a prison or the scaffold, but God has erected a wall between you and my soul, that the sabres and bullets and verdicts of your hired assassins can never penetrate.

Pirates on the Captive and Pauper and Crazy Islands.

Gov. Anderson recently officially declared, that Gov. Isaac J. Oliver was a public robber. So that we have plunderers and Mistresses and Rakes on Randall’s and the adjacent isles. I thought I felt the shock of an earthquake last night. O God! thou art most forbearing, to spare the Tiemanns and Olivers so long. And if one of Thy most awful physical visitations should level the habitations of these two wicked men, do, O do spare their spotless wives and precious little ones. Read, citizens, read, and go home at sunset, and bar your doors, and do not permit your wives and lovely daughters to leave your presence, after the first pretty little star appears. And warn them to beware of the Tiemanns and Olivers, when they cross their path, as poison and death are in their gaze, and amorous and thievish motions.

From the New York Tribune of July 7.

“An Episode—How Contracts are Awarded— In the course of a controversy about the iron work of the Island Hospital, some remarks passed between Messrs. Oliver and Anderson more piquant than polite. Gov. Anderson said he did not want to hold any intercourse with so corrupt a man. Gov. Oliver would not take any notice of such language, except to hurl it back with scorn in the teeth of the one that uttered it. He dared any one to name a single fact that would show that he was corrupt. Gov. Anderson said that he was guilty of a very corrupt act when, in opening the bids for certain iron work, he endeavored to induce his fellow members on the Committee to give the contract to a man who was not the lowest bidder, more especially as they had since discovered that two of that bidder’s tools—one of them his foreman, and the other a Methodist parson in his interest—were among the bidders.

Gov. Oliver said he did not know anything about these two men; the reason he urged that the contract be awarded to his friend was because he liked to serve his friends, as the other Governors did theirs, (here several Governors protested against their names being called in question,) and because the lowest bidder did not do business in the city. Some other words passed between Messrs. Anderson and Oliver, evidently very much to the annoyance of the other members of the Board, who kept nervously remonstrating, and tried repeatedly, but in vain, to get the Board to adjourn.

The discussion wound up by Gov. Oliver asserting that if any charges could be brought against his integrity, he hoped they would be referred to a Committee; either he or Gov. Anderson was evidently unfit to sit in the Board.

Gov. Anderson said he was quite willing to refer the matter to a fair Committee, and if he did not substantiate the charge of corruption against Oliver, he would resign, provided that Oliver agreed, in case the charge was proved, to leave the Board.

At this interesting juncture, an indignant demand for adjournment from Gov. Maloney prevailed, and the troubled waters once more resumed their wonted tranquillity.

Subsequently the members opened the bids for the iron work on the Island Hospital. There were six bids, the highest being $26,875; the lowest, by J. B. & W. W. Cornell, $18,364.”

Gov. Anderson assures me that Oliver is a very corrupt man, and that he will soon give me the evidence of his corruption, which I will publish as soon as I receive it. The firemen will grieve to learn that Gov. Anderson, their faithful Ex-Chief Engineer, is indisposed, and seeks the bracing air of Long Island for his restoration. Anderson and Carson led the firemen long and bravely, and of the million inhabitants around us, there are no two gallant spirits whom I more profoundly revere than Cornelius V. Anderson and Alfred Carson. Both are the soul of chivalry and honor. And may they ever prosper, and be healthy and happy, and be warmly cherished by the firemen and by all good citizens.

From the New York Express of Tuesday last.

“A Novel Regatta.—Last Saturday afternoon, quite a novel exhibition of aquatic skill came off at Blackwell’s Island, on the occasion of a boat race, gotten up under the auspices of some of the Governors of the Alms House. The boats are six oared barges used for conveying passengers from the various institutions on the Island to New York. The following were the entries which competed for sweepstakes:

Boat | manned by | ent. money
Alms House | vagrants | $5
Work House | paupers | 5
Penitentiary | thieves | 5
Lunatic Asylum | lunatics | 5
| | ––––
| Sweepstakes | $20

The race was around Blackwell’s Island, a distance of four miles, starting from a stake-boat moored off the Penitentiary wharf. The race was witnessed by the Governors and friends, and a large number of spectators on New York side of the East River. The Work House boat came in victor.

After the race, Governors B. F. Pinckney, P. G. Maloney, and Isaac J. Oliver, with a large number of invited guests, sat down to a jolly good dinner, furnished by order of the Governors, at the Lunatic Asylum. The tables were supplied with every delicacy of the season, with an abundant supply of brandies, wines, champagne, &c. It has been hinted by some malicious persons, that the proceedings at table were worthy of the place where the feast was held.”

These cruel and lazy Governors must have looked funny, sprawled on the velvet banks, with public rum and segars in their bladders and jaws, and obscenity and blasphemy in their filthy mouths, gazing at the unfortunate creatures, (rowing for their lives beneath a burning sun,) whom the public kindly placed under their supervision. What a gang of drones, and thieves, and squanderers, and unblushing scamps! O that Maloney and Pinckney and Oliver could be made to earn, by hard labor, a tithe of the thousands they rifle from the honest and industrious classes.

The Harpers are dead! They have played their last card, and sung their last lay! Their death was horrible and harrowing to their friends. Read their melancholy and most deplorable Obituary, on the first page of their Weekly Journal of July 10, which contains the sprawling likeness of James Gordon Bennett, with a most glorious coat of whitewash over the sweet form of Helen Jewett, and a host of black mail imps and slaughtered victims of his vengeance and cupidity. Read, O read, and behold the price of a puff, and weep over the irrecoverable downfall of the Harpers, including James, the unnaturalized Englishman, who was an American Mayor! O, jokers and thimble riggers! where are you? Appear! appear! appear! and strive to crush your rivals!

All is not sung from pious lung!

Mayor Tiemann is an Episcopalian:

If high or low,
Dam if I know,
Though deeds will show,
As vane the blow.

The Harpers are smooth and quiet Methodists,

And value pence
More than defence
Of sacred Altars,
Or pious paupers.

Gov. Oliver is a rough and noisy Methodist,

And blows wind like a bellows
To many verdant fellows,
While in Pauper contracts,
He seeks Robbers’ barracks.

The Police and Public Robbers.

Now that Captains Leonard and Dowling are reinstated, and as new brooms sweep mighty clean, and as they will probably make more arrests and rip up more rascality than their associates during the next two months, I will direct their attention to the tax books, to ascertain the amount of taxes paid by De Forest and Tisdale before they established the Hunter Woodis Society. Also, what their associates paid. Accredited rumor says that all the members of the Hunter Woodis Society were drones and paupers before they began to collect indigent funds for the Hunter Woodis Society, and before they cunningly devised (in connection with Cooper, Tiemann, Gerard, and others) the Calico Balls at the Academy of Music and Crystal Palace. They now have their carriages, (gold and silver mounted,) and fast horses, and elegant mansions, and have even had the silly boldness to open an Ice Cream and Lager Bier Saloon, on a scale of dazzling splendor and unprecedented area, that would fascinate the Frenchman, and bewilder the German, and will astonish the American. So, just examine the tax books, Leonard and Dowling, and give me the startling statistics, and I will publish them. And I’ll bet largely in advance, that they were paupers until they stole and appropriated the fascinating and noble name of Woodis, to consummate their unhallowed schemes, to rob the Poor of the Metropolis. “That’s all,” as Dr. Wallace too often says at the close of his Junius editorials in the Herald:

O Doctor, Doctor, Doctor!

You are a funny Proctor!

O De Forest and Tisdale,

You’ll soon have worms, and grow pale.

Leonard and Dowling: To your task,

And in my rays, you yet may bask.

Advertisements—25 Cents a line.

Credit—From two to four seconds, or as long as the Advertiser can hold his breath! Letters and Advertisements to be left at No. 114 Nassau street, second story, front room.

NOTICE TO FARMERS AND MARKET GARDENERS.—City Inspector’s Department, New York, June 16, 1858.—In conformity with the following resolution, the space therein mentioned will be permitted to be used as a place, by farmers and gardeners, for the sale of vegetables and garden produce, until the hour of 12 o’clock, M., daily—the use to be free of charge:

Resolved, That permission be, and is hereby, given to farmers and market gardeners, to occupy daily, until 12 M., free of charge, the vacant space of the northern and southern extremities of the intersection of Broadway and Sixth avenue, between Thirty-second and Thirty-fifth streets, without infringing upon the streets which the said space intersects, for the purpose only of selling vegetables and market produce, of their own farms or gardens, under the supervision of the City Inspector.

Also, by resolution of the Common Council, The use of Gouverneur slip is granted to farmers and gardeners for the sale of produce from wagons.

GEO W. MORTON, City Inspector.

JOSEPH CANNING, Sup’t of Markets.

NOTICE—TO PERSONS KEEPING SWINE, OWNERS OF PROPERTY WHERE THE SAME MAY BE KEPT, AND ALL OTHERS INTERESTED. At a meeting of the Mayor and Commissioners of Health, held at the City Hall of the City of New York, Friday, June 18th, 1858, the following preamble and resolutions were adopted:

Whereas, A large number of swine are kept in various portions of the city; and whereas, it is the general practice of persons so keeping swine, to boil offal and kitchen refuse and garbage, whereby a highly offensive and dangerous nuisance is created, therefore, be it

Resolved. That this Board, of the Mayor and Commissioners of Health, deeming swine kept south of (86th) street, in this city, to be creative of a nuisance and detrimental to the public health, therefore, the City Inspector be, and he is hereby, authorized and directed to take, seize, and remove from any and all places and premises, all and every swine found or kept on any premises in any place in the city of New York southerly of said street, and to cause all such swine to be removed to the Public Pound, or other suitable place beyond the limits of the city or northerly of said street, and to cause all premises or places wherein, or on which, said swine may have been so found or kept, to be thoroughly cleaned and purified as the City Inspector shall deem necessary to secure the preservation of the public health, and that all expenses incurred thereby constitute a lien on the lot, lots or premises from which said nuisance shall have been abated or removed.

Resolved, That the foregoing resolutions shall take effect from and after the first day of July next, and that public notice be given of the same by publication in the Corporation papers to that date, and that notice may be given to persons keeping swine by circulars delivered on the premises, and that all violations of this order be prosecuted by the proper legal authorities, on complaint from the City Inspector or his officers.

City Inspector’s Department,}

New York, June 18, 1858.}

All persons keeping swine, or upon whose property or premises the same may be kept, are hereby notified that the above resolutions will be strictly enforced from and after the first day of July next.

GEO. W. MORTON, City Inspector.

FRANCIS B. BALDWIN, WHOLESALE and RETAIL CLOTHING & FURNISHING WAREHOUSE, 70 and 72 Bowery, between Canal and Hester sts., New York. Large and elegant assortment of Youths’ and Boys’ Clothing.

F. B. BALDWIN,

J. G. BARNUM.

F. B. BALDWIN has just opened his New and Immense Establishment. THE LARGEST IN THE CITY! An entire New Stock of GENTLEMEN’S, YOUTH’S and CHILDREN’S CLOTHING, recently manufactured by the best workmen in the city, is now opened for inspection. Also, a superior stock of FURNISHING GOODS. All articles are of the Best Quality, and having been purchased during the crisis, WILL BE SOLD VERY LOW! The Custom Department contains the greatest variety of CLOTHS, CASSIMERES, and VESTINGS.

Mr. BALDWIN has associated with him Mr. J. G. BARNUM, who has had great experience in the business, having been thirty years connected with the leading Clothing Establishments of the city.

THOMAS A. DUNN, 506 Eighth Avenue, has a very choice assortment of Wines, Brandies, Cordials, and Segars, which he will sell at prices that will yield a fair profit. All my democratic friends, and my immediate associates in the Boards of Aldermen and Councilmen are respectfully invited to call in their rambles through Eighth Avenue, and enjoy a good Havana segar, and nice, sparkling champagne, and very exhilarating brandy. For the segars, I will charge my political friends and associates only five pence each, and for the brandy only ten pence per half gill, and for the champagne only four shillings a glass, or two dollars a bottle.

So call, kind friends, and sing a glee,
And laugh and smoke and drink with me,
Sweet Sangaree
Till you can’t see:
(Chorus—At your expense!
Which pays my rents,)
For my fingers do you see
O’er my nose gyrating free?
THOMAS A. DUNN, No. 506 Eighth avenue.

JAMES DONNELLY’S COAL YARD,—Twenty-sixth street and Second Avenue. I always have all kinds of coal on hand, and of the very best quality, which I will sell as low as any other coal dealer in the United States.

JAMES DONNELLY.

FOLEY’S CELEBRATED “GOLD PENS.”

For sale by all Stationers and Jewellers.

OFFICE AND STORE,

163 BROADWAY.

MRS. S. S. BIRD’S LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S DINING AND OYSTER SALOONS, No. 31 Canal street, near East Broadway, and 264 Division street, New York. Oysters Pickled to Order.

COREY AND SON, MERCHANT’S EXCHANGE, Wall street, New York.—Notaries Public and Commissioners.—United State’s Passports issued in 36 hours,—Bills of Exchange, Drafts, and Notes protested,—Marine protests noted and extended.

EDWIN F. COREY,

EDWIN F. COREY, Jr.

J. VAN TINE, SHANGAE RESTAURANT, No. 2, Dey street, New York.

S. & J. W. BARKER, GENERAL AUCTIONEERS & REAL ESTATE BROKERS. Loans negotiated, Houses and Stores Rented, Stocks and Bonds Sold at Auction or Private Sale.

Also, FURNITURE SALES attended to at private houses. Office, 14 Pine street, under Commonwealth Bank.

CARLTON HOUSE, 496 Broadway, New York. Bates and Holden, Proprietors.

THEOPHILUS BATES.

OREL J. HOLDEN.

TRIMMING MANUFACTURERS.—B. S. YATES & CO., 639 Broadway, New York.

Fringes, Cords, Tassels, Loops, Gimps, and Gimp Bands.

WM. COULTER, Carpenter.—I have long been engaged as a Carpenter, and I assure all who will favor me with their patronage, that I will build as good houses, or anything else in my line, as any other carpenter in the city of New York. I will also be as reasonable in charges for my work as any other person.

WILLIAM COULTER, Carpenter.

Rear of 216 East Twentieth street, New York.

GERARD BETTS & CO., AUCTION AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS, No. 106, Wall street, corner of Front street, New York.

W. W. OSBORN, MERCHANT TAILOR, 9 Chamber street, near Chatham street, New York.

SOLOMON BANTA, Architect, No. 93 Amos street, New York. I have built as many houses and stores as any Architect in this city, or the United States, and I can produce vouchers to that effect; and I flatter myself that I can build edifices that will compare favorably, in point of beauty and durability, with those of any architect in this country. I am prepared to receive orders in my line of business, at No. 93 Amos street, New York.

SOLOMON BANTA.

ROBERT ONDERDONK—THIRTEENTH WARD HOTEL, 405 and 407 Grand street, corner of Clinton street, New York.

WILLIAM M. TWEED, CHAIR, & OFFICE FURNITURE DEALER AND MANUFACTURER,

No. 289 Broadway, corner of Read street, New York. Room No. 15.

TRUSSES, ELASTIC STOCKINGS, SHOULDER BRACES, SUPPORTERS, BANDAGES, &c. H. L. Parsons, M.D. Office, 4 Ann street, under the Museum.

FASHION HOUSE.—JOSEPH HYDE PROPRIETOR, corner Grand and Essex street. Wines, Liquors, and Cigars of the best brands. He invites his friends to give him a call. Prompt and courteous attention given his patrons.

WILLIAM A. CONKLIN, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW, No. 176 Chatham street, New York. Any business entrusted to his charge from citizens of this city or any part of the country, will receive prompt and faithful attention, and be conducted on reasonable terms.

WILLIAM A. CONKLIN.

HERRING’S PATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BURGLAR PROOF SAFE, with Hall’s Patent Powder Proof Locks, afford the greatest security of any Safe in the world. Also, Sideboard and Parlor Safes, of elegant workmanship and finish, for plate, &c. S. C. HERRING & CO.,

251 Broadway.

JAMES MELENFY, (SUCCESSOR TO SAMUEL HOPPER,) Grocer, and Wholesale and Retail Dealer in Pure Country Milk. Teas, Coffee, Sugars & Spices. Flour, Butter, Lard, Cheese, Eggs &c. No. 158, Eighth Avenue, Near 18th Street, New York. Families supplied by leaving their address at the Store.

BOOT & SHOE EMPORIUMS, EDWIN A. BROOKS, Importer and Manufacturer of Boots, Shoes & Gaiters, Wholesale and Retail, No. 575 Broadway, and 150 Fulton Street, New York.

MCSPEDON AND BAKER’S STATIONERY WAREHOUSE AND ENVELOPE MANUFACTORY, Nos. 29, 31, and 33, Beekman Street, New York.

Envelopes of all patterns, styles, and quality, on hand, and made to order for the trade and others, by Steam Machinery. Patented April 8th, 1856.

COZZENS’ HOTEL COACHES,—STABLE, Nos. 34 and 36 Canal Street, New York.

I will strive hard to please all those generous citizens who will kindly favor me with their patronage.

EDWARD VAN RANST.

J. W. MASON, MANUFACTURER, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALERS in all kinds of Chairs, Wash Stands, Settees, &c. 377 & 379 Pearl Street, New York.

Cane and Wood Seat Chairs, in Boxes, for Shipping.

BENJAMIN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, IN REAL ESTATE. Houses and stores and lots for sale in all parts of the city. Office at the junction of Broadway, Seventh Avenue, and Forty-Sixth Street.

FULLMER AND WOOD, CARRIAGE MANUFACTURERS, 239 West 19th Street, New York.

Horse-shoeing done with despatch, and in the most scientific manner, and on reasonable terms.

EDWARD PHALON & SON, 497 and 517 Broadway, New York—Depots for the sale of Perfumery, and every article connected with the Toilet.

We now introduce the “BOUQUET D’OGARITA, or Wild Flower of Mexico,” which is superior to any thing of the kind in the civilized world.

EDWARD PHALON & SON.

SAMUEL SNEDEN, SHIP & STEAMBOAT BUILDER.—My Office is at No. 31 Corlears street, New York; and my yards and residence are at Greenpoint. I have built Ships and Steamers for every portion of the Globe, for a long term of years, and continue to do so on reasonable terms.

SAMUEL SNEDEN.

JOHN B. WEBB, BOAT BUILDER, 718 WATER STREET. My Boats are of models and materials unsurpassed by those of any Boat Builder in the World. Give me a call, and if I don’t please you, I will disdain to charge you for what does not entirely satisfy you.

JOHN B. WEBB.

ALANSON T. BRIGGS—DEALER IN FLOUR BARRELS, MOLASSES CASKS, WATER, AND ALL OTHER KINDS OF CASKS. Also, new flour barrels and half-barrels; a large supply constantly on hand. My Stores are at Nos. 62, 63, 64, 69, 73, 75, 77 and 79 Rutger’s Slip; at 235, 237, and 239 Cherry street; also, in South and Water streets, between Pike and Rutger’s Slip, extending from street to street. My yards in Williamsburgh are at Furman & Co.’s Dock. My yards in New York are at the corner of Water and Gouverneur streets; and in Washington street, near Canal; and at Leroy Place. My general Office is at 64 Rutger’s Slip.

ALANSON T. BRIGGS.

FULTON IRON WORKS.—JAMES MURPHY & CO., manufacturers of Marine and Land Engines, Boilers, &c. Iron and Brass Castings. Foot of Cherry street, East River.

BRADDICK & HOGAN, SAILMAKERS, No. 272 South Street, New York.

Awnings, Tents, and Bags made to order.

JESSE A. BRADDICK,

RICHARD HOGAN.

J. N. GENIN, FASHIONABLE HATTER, 214 Broadway, New York.

GENIN’S LADIES’ & CHILDREN’S OUTFITTING BAZAAR, 513 Broadway, (St. Nicholas Hotel, N. Y.)

WILLIAM M. SOMERVILLE, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DRUGGIST AND APOTHECARY, 205 Bleecker St., corner Minetta, opposite Cottage Place, New York. All the popular Patent Medicines, fresh Swedish Leeches, Cupping, &c. Physicians’ Prescriptions accurately prepared.

WM. M. SOMERVILLE.

A. W. & T. HUME, MERCHANT TAILORS, No. 82 Sixth Avenue, New York. We keep a large and elegant assortment of every article that a gentleman requires. We make Coats, Vests and Pants, after the latest Parisian fashions, and on reasonable terms.

A. W. & T. HUME.

THE WASHINGTON, By BARTLETT & GATES, No. 1 Broadway, New York. Come and see us, good friends, and eat and drink and be merry, in the same capacious and patriotic halls where the immortal Washington’s voice and laugh once reverberated.

O come to our Hotel,

And you’ll be treated well.

BARTLETT & GATES.

EXCELSIOR PRINTING HOUSE, 211 Centre St., is furnished with every facility, latest improved presses, and the newest styles of type—for the execution of Book, Job and Ornamental Printing. Call and see specimens.

CHARLES FRANCIS, SADDLER, (ESTABLISHED IN 1808,) Sign of the Golden Horse, 39 Bowery, New York, opposite the Theatre. Mr. F. will sell his articles as low as any other Saddler in America, and warrant them to be equal to any in the World.

H. N. WILD, STEAM CANDY MANUFACTURER, No. 451 Broadway, bet. Grand and Howard streets, New York. My Iceland Moss and Flaxseed Candy will cure Coughs and Sneezes in a very short time.

JAMES GRIFFITHS, (Late CHATFIELD & GRIFFITHS,) No. 273 Grand St., New York. A large stock of well-selected Cloths, Cassimeres, Vestings, &c., on hand. Gent’s, Youths’ and Children’s Clothing, Cut and Made in the most approved style. All cheap for Cash.

J. AGATE & CO., MEN’S FURNISHING GOODS AND SHIRT MANUFACTURERS, 256 Broadway, New York.

Shirts made to order and guaranteed to fit.

J. AGATE,     F. W. TALKINGTON.

BILLIARD TABLES.—PHELAN’S IMPROVED BILLIARD TABLES AND COMBINATION CUSHIONS—Protected by letters patent, dated Feb. 19, 1856; Oct 28, 1856; Dec. 8, 1857; Jan. 12, 1858. The recent improvements in these Tables make them unsurpassed in the world. They are now offered to the scientific Billiard players as combining speed with truth, never before obtained in any Billiard Table. Salesrooms Nos. 786 and 788 Broadway, New York. Manufactory No. 53 Ann Street.

O’CONNOR & COLLENDOR, Sole Manufacturers.

S. L. OLMSTEAD, IMPORTER, MANUFACTURER AND JOBBER OF MEN’S FURNISHING GOODS, No. 24 Barclay Street, corner of Church, New York.

C. B. HATCH, HILLER & MERSEREAU, Importers and Jobbers of Men’s Furnishing Goods, and Manufacturers of the Golden Hill Shirts, 99 Chambers Street, N.E. corner Church Street, New York.

L. A. ROSENMILLER, DRUGGIST, No. 172 Eighth Avenue, New York. Cupping & Leeching. Medicines at all hours.

- Transcriber’s Notes:

- The table in “From the New York Express of Tuesday last” was reorganized to avoid ditto marks and to fit within the page width.

- Missing or obscured punctuation was corrected.

- Typographical errors were silently corrected.

- Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation were made consistent only when a predominant form was found in this book.

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR, VOL. 1 NO. 14, JULY 24, 1858 ***

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Table of Contents

- Stephen H. Branch's Alligator - Volume 1, Issue 14

- Conference of Methodists.

- Randall’s Island.

- Stephen H. Branch’s Alligator.

- My Indictment for Libel.

- Pirates on the Captive and Pauper and Crazy Islands.

- From the New York Tribune of July 7.

- From the New York Express of Tuesday last.

- All is not sung from pious lung!

- The Police and Public Robbers.

- Advertisements—25 Cents a line.

- THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG™ LICENSE